Bittersweet Symphony (11 page)

BOOK: Bittersweet Symphony
12.28Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

“How do you know that?”

“I confronted him three days ago. I wanted to know what he knew. I had to know, so I asked. He told me he is going to out me to everyone, including my brother whom he knows doesn’t know. Apparently my father and his were in business together. His dad’s a private investigator, so it’s not shock he uncovered some type of dirt on our family.  It’ll be spread around here faster than a forest fire.

My mouth opens and shuts with real rage filling me. I hate Sam for hurting me, for beating me down to the weak person I am, but now I hate him so much more.

Ryder’s hand lands on my thigh, trying to calm me down.

“There’s no point in getting worked up over it. I already tried that…” He gestures to his room and apparently every other room in the house. His bed is luckily unharmed by his hulk rage. It is soft and obviously durable. Very Ryder like.

“Look, K…” He grips my arm, turning me into his body. His manly scent surrounds me. “He threatened me. He told me if I gave up on you that he wouldn’t tell a soul.”

To say I am shocked is an understatement, not just shocked, but so very angry as well. I want to beat him to the ground, to make him stop breathing, to take a bat to his car, and go all Mimi-fucking-Jones on him.

“What did you say?” I can’t help but ask. I am scared. I’m so very afraid that he says he will give up on me. After everything that has happened, I don’t know if I will ever be able to move on from him. I do know, though, that it will kill him more if he has to tell his brother. If he has to walk away from me to save himself, I will understand. I would have to…

The silence is killing me.

“I told him…” His finger lingers on my leg, drawing lazy circles on it. “It would be a cold day in hell before I ever gave up on something that I loved. I wanted you more than I wanted anything in my life. Letting my secrets go for that would be more than worth it. I refused to give into him, and I refused to hold onto the hate that my father had caused me. It was a win, win for me.” He smiles, the warm and fuzzy kind. The one that I love so much…

It doesn’t make sense to me, though. Him wanting me isn’t enough... It doesn’t justify his decision. It isn’t worth the risk.

“What about your brother… and everyone else?”

Ryder shrugs his shoulders as if it means nothing to him now.

“It is what it is. I’ll talk to Rex and everyone else can think what they want, they will anyway.”

I throw myself back on the bed next to him. Happiness is floating right above me, just within reach, but why I can’t reach out and grasp it, I don’t know.

“But you did all of that just to stay with me…?” My voice is full of sadness, and tears fell from my eyes quietly. I wasn’t really sure why I was crying. I couldn’t tell if they were happy tears or sad tears.

His body encompassed mine and warmth seeped into me. Our bodies molded together as if we were meant to be together. The key, and the hole.

“I did it because it was the right thing… All of this took place because of my anger and hate. I knew when you showed up I could never agree with anything Sam wanted from me. It would be like letting my father win all over again.”

My body shuddered against his as he held me tighter. My whole world was right next to me and it took me till now to realize it.

“Why would you do that? Why would you be okay with that?” I wanted to destroy something. Now I understood why the house looks the way it did when I came in.

“I’m not okay with it, but I would rather have this chance with you then no chance at all. I would rather give up on all of that other shit then on you. I was made, because for one little second I didn’t think I was worth it. I didn’t think I could have you without screwing it up. I wouldn’t ever give up on you, but there was a chance you would give up on me.” Everything he says made it seem like something he has pondered about long and hard.

“You won Ryder… You never lost…” I whisper into his chest.

“You’re right. I got you.”






Sam had lost, and Ryder had won. I knew it the day I gave myself to Ryder. Nothing about him has been the same since that day. The moment he told his brother about all the abuse he had suffered at the hands of their father was the moment I finally saw the free Ryder, the one capable of being loved, who wasn’t dark and full of hate.

“Thanks for being the person Ryder needed most. The person who pulled him out of the shit in his head. He told you his secrets, and that led to him telling me,” Rex says. He looks at me with so much appreciation, it’s almost a little scary. Then he wraps me in a hug that has me giving Jenna a look that says “get this crazy mofo off of me”.

“You’re welcome,” I say awkwardly while trying to get out of his grip. He’s just as strong as Ryder, and his muscles feel the same. Being held against his body is weird and not in the warm and fuzzy kind of way.

“I didn’t know. I mean I suspected something was wrong when he would have strange bruises covering his body, but I had no clue that there was something more going on. I just assumed he was playing roughly with the other kids.” He releases me, but not before placing a kiss on my forehead which I immediately wipe at like a daughter wanting to remove her mom’s motherly kiss.

Ryder walks into the room, pizza in hand. He places it on the table, looking between me and his brother curiously.

“Trying to steal my girl, bro?” he says jokingly. I wrap my arms around him, hugging him like I haven’t seen him in days.

“I doubt I could ever steal her,” Rex says laughing. Jenna rolls her eyes at Rex as he wraps his arms around her and holds her as if she’s going to break.

“I love you…” I whisper to Ryder.

“I love you too…” he says back.




Later that evening while lying in bed next to Ryder, he rolls over to face me. “I want to tell you something…” he trails off. His hand grips my hip, pulling me in between his legs. I can feel his lust…

“Tell me.” I will beg if I have to. His hands trail over every aspect of my body. It always feels like the first time with him. I take a picture of every touch and every kiss and store them in my mind to revisit when he can’t be here and we’re apart.

“Sam got kicked out of classes. I told my father that since everyone already knew, I would tell anyone and everyone about it and ruin his chances at a political run. I told him if he didn’t remove Sam from our lives, I would out him to the world for the real monster he was.”

I smile, really smile. I smile so hard my lips and cheeks start to hurt. I am so happy; there’s nothing that can bring me down from this happiness.

“God, I fucking love you!” I yell. I want everyone to know…the neighbors…the world…everyone.

“No, I love you. I knew that if anyone could bring me out of this, it would be you. Thank you for being here for me, for holding me together when I knew I wasn’t going to make it. You gave me hope when I had none.”

I hold his face between my hands, bringing our faces together. Our noses touch, and I close my eyes taking in all the feelings.

“No, we gave each other hope. We gave each other meaning. We both saved each other being damned.”

“My life was never damned until the moment I met you.” I watch as his lips pull up into a smile. Yup. He is mine. All mine.



The End…

Be on the lookout for the very last book in the Bittersweet Series (Bittersweet Trust). It is Corey and Mimi’s last book and will close up the series. I’m aiming for a release date this November.


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I would like to say a big huge thanks to my editor and formatter. This book wouldn’t have been published without them. They worked their butts off for me. I love you ladies.

To my street team: Ya’ll are a wild bunch of ladies, but I love you more than anything. You make writing that much easier and keep me in line.

To the blogs: Thank you. Thank you. I know it can be hard, but seriously thank you. I just can’t say it enough.

To my hubby: Stop talking in an Australian accent.

About the Author


J.L. Beck is the author of Bittersweet Series. She lives in Elroy, WI with her husband Brandon, and daughter Bella.

Since the moment she could reach the shelves on the book shelf she’s been reading, thus influencing her to write. Her favorite books are those that leave an imprint on your soul. You know… the ones that have you putting everything off because you have to find out what happens next.

When she's not writing or reading (of course) you can find her picking up after her three year old daughter, or explaining to her husband why its unsafe to do something any other way than the way your wife told you to.

She’s a huge fan of all things drama, with shows like The Vampire Diaries, and Arrow being among of her favorites. She's addicted to all things social media, caffeine, and Starbucks.


BOOK: Bittersweet Symphony
12.28Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

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