Born in Sin (11 page)

His eyes blank, Sin said nothing as he kept her from clawing him.

Henry ordered his guard to take the distraught woman from the room and to escort her to her chambers.

Callie moved toward her husband and reached up to touch the bleeding cut on his cheek.

Sin flinched from her as if she were a viper. “It will heal,” he said.

“Some wounds never heal, milord,” Callie said as her heart ached for him. She couldn’t imagine a mother being more cruel to her child than what she had just witnessed. She could only guess at what other atrocities the woman had visited upon him over the years.

No wonder he had refused to speak of his mother last night when she’d asked him about her.

Sin glanced to Henry, then he turned and stalked back down the hallway toward the chapel.

Callie followed him, with Henry one step behind her.

Once Sin reached the chapel, the priest took one look at Sin’s angry visage, and hurried from the room.

Ignoring him, Sin grabbed their wedding papers from where they’d been left drying on the altar and started for the fire in the hearth.

Henry quickly stepped into his path. “What are you doing?”

The rage on Sin’s face was terrifying. “I want this marriage dissolved. Now.”

“Sin…” The king’s voice was thick with warning.

“Step aside, Henry.”

Callie held her breath. She’d never seen Sin like this. This was the man who really could kill someone in his sleep. He was cold. Icy. His eyes filled with turbulent agony.

“You burn those papers and I will see you in chains.”

Sin gave him a hard, droll stare. “Think you that
matters to
me
? If you’re trying to scare me, you will have to do better than that.”

“Leave us,” Henry said to everyone.

His guards hesitated.

“Now!” Henry roared.

They left, but Callie went no farther than the closed door. She glanced at the guard, who looked away sheepishly, then she pressed her ear to the door to hear them.

A heartbeat later, the guard did the same.

“Give me those papers, Sin.”

Sin didn’t move. He couldn’t. Everyone in the great hall believed he had killed his own brother. Everyone, including Callie. He shouldn’t care what Callie thought, and yet he did. He cared in a way that scared him. “Why did you do it?”

Henry shrugged. “It had to be done. Roger was a liability neither of us could afford.”

How many times had he heard those words? How many times had he murdered for Henry? In truth, it was a miracle he hadn’t been the one ordered to kill Roger.

“I won’t marry a woman who believes I could cut the throat of my own brother.”

“Whyever not? It’s not as if you haven’t done worse things in your life. Remember what the Saracens called you?
Melek in Ölüm
. The Angel of Death. It’s what you’ve always been best at.”

Sin winced at Henry’s words. How stupid he had been to even hope he could start anew with Caledonia and live a quiet, normal life. He could never run from his past. From all the things he’d done to survive.

He stared at the papers in his hands and saw his signature below Callie’s. Her dainty, graceful handwriting was a stark contrast to his clumsy attempt.

She was made of such goodness, such kindness. Everything about her was beautiful and he was nothing but evil. Ugly. A scarred soulless monster, incapable of anything save destruction.

Melek in Ölüm
. The title rang in his ears. Even now he could hear his masters laughing as they trained him. He had gone by many names back then. Had committed crimes he wished he could bury in the farthest reaches of his mind. He didn’t deserve a second chance at life. And he damned sure didn’t deserve a woman as decent and kind as Callie.

Only a devil like Henry would seek to bind them together.

Through the pain of his memories, he saw an image of Callie’s warm smile. Heard the beauty of her laughter.

She touched him on a level that made no sense whatsoever.

“Now,” Henry said, reaching his arm out. “Hand me those papers.”

Sin hesitated. But in the end, he found himself handing them over against his will.

Henry breathed a sigh of relief as he tucked the papers inside the leather pouch on the altar. “I am your friend, Sin. You know that. If not for me, you would have died alone in Outremer without ever being among your own kind again.”

His own kind. Strange, Sin felt as alien here in England as he had ever felt with the Saracen tribes who had bought and sold him.

Henry tucked the pouch under his arm. “Why do you care what the wench thinks of you anyway?”

Sin cut a glare at Henry to let him know he had overstepped his bounds. “That lady happens to be my wife. I would caution you to show her due respect.”

Henry rolled his eyes. “Not another one. I do you a favor and get a snapping lion at my heels. Please don’t tell me you’re going to be like Thomas à Becket and turn on me, too.”

“You know me better than that.”

“I thought I knew him better than that, too, and yet look how wrong I was.” Henry stared at him speculatively for the span of several heartbeats. “By the way, if you’re still thinking of thwarting this marriage by trickery, think again. Come morning, I want proof of consummation.”

Sin arched a brow at that. “Don’t tell me you wish to witness the event.”

“Hardly. I’ve already verified her virginal state. Come morning if there is no blood, then I shall have my physicians examine her again. There had best be no maidenhead.”

Sin gave him a dull stare. “You keep speaking as if I care whether or not I live or die. You have no real power over me, Henry, you know that. All that binds us together is my oath of loyalty to you.”

Henry narrowed his eyes. “You and I have been at odds since I first brought up this matter. I’ve no wish to fight with you. I just want this settled. I need a strong yet passionless arm in Scotland. You are perfect to infiltrate her people and maintain peace. Between you and the MacAllisters, it will secure my northern borders and leave me free to scrape Philip
off my weary heels. If this marriage is not consummated, then she will be able to break the pact as soon as she returns home.”

“I know, Henry.”

“Then why are you making this so much more difficult than it need be?”

Sin had no idea. It was just a feeling deep in his gut that if he consummated his marriage with Caledonia, then it would be eternal. And the last thing he wanted was to tie a woman like her to a man like him. It seemed foul and cruel.

“Very well,” Sin conceded. “Come morning, you shall have your proof of the deed.”

Henry smiled. “Then I shall leave you to your new bride.”

As Henry left, Sin stared longingly at the papers he carried under his arm. How he wished he could undo this day.

In truth, he didn’t care at all what the others thought of him. But it did matter to him what Callie thought. He didn’t want to see her eyes dark with suspicion or, worse, hatred.

Taking a deep breath, he headed for the door and prepared himself to face her condemnation.

Callie’s heart pounded as she pushed herself away from the door just moments before Henry threw it wide. She gave a quick curtsy to the king as he passed, then waited anxiously to see her husband.

So, Sin was innocent of the murder.

The news relieved her more than she ever would have thought possible. He was far from an innocent, but in this he’d had no part.

When he walked through the door, she bestowed her brightest smile on him.

Confusion darkened his midnight stare as he glanced about the crowd that watched him as if he were the lowest of life and unfit to share the earth with them. But she didn’t care what they thought. Let them be fools if they must.

Her heart lurched at the sight of the drying blood on Sin’s cheek. The wound was already purple and jagged, and it must pain him. It was an ugly blemish on a man so handsome.

She reached her hand up to touch him. “Let me—”

He shrugged off her touch and strode from the hall.

Callie swallowed the lump in her throat at his curtness. What would have made him behave that way?

Determined to find out, she went after him.

She caught up with her husband down the hallway, where servants bustled to get as far away from him as they could. “Where are you going?”

Sin paused at the melodic voice behind him. She had followed?

He turned about to find her directly behind him, with her skirts held in her hands so that she could match his much longer stride. Her trim ankles were bare to his view and the sight of them fired his blood. Not even the plaid she wore, which reminded him of a heritage he despised, could detract from the way he wanted to claim this lady.

His wife.

The truth tore through him.

“I want to be alone,” he said more sternly than he intended.

“Well, how fine is that?” Her voice carried the full
weight of her sarcastic displeasure. “Here it is
our
wedding day and you wish to spend it alone. Fine, then, call me shoe leather and have done with it.”

He frowned at her words. “I beg your pardon? Call you what?”

“Shoe leather.” She gestured toward his feet. “You know, the inconsequential matter that you tread upon without thought. That is all I am to you, isn’t it?”

He couldn’t have been more stunned had she spat in his face. How could she ever think that, when to him she was the very essence of heaven itself? He couldn’t imagine a woman more noble or precious, even if she did have an insufferable habit or two. “I have yet to treat you as if you were inconsequential.”

“
Yet
, you say. Implying that the time will surely come when you will.”

“I didn’t say that, either.”

“Didn’t you?”

“Nay.”

She looked up at him with a light smile at the corner of her lips and an impish gleam in her bright green eyes. “So then, I do have value to you.”

More than she would ever know. “This was all a game?”

She shook her head. “Not a game. I merely wanted you to talk to me.” She took a step forward and touched his arm.

Sin stared at the delicate hand on his biceps and it took all his strength not to crush her to him and claim her lips with his. Not to lift her in his arms and run with her to their room, where he could lose himself in the sweet softness of her body.

“I know you have been alone much of your life,” she said gently. “But we are married now. No matter how this came about, I fully intend to abide by my vows. I would be a wife to you, Sin, if you will let me.”

Therein lay the problem. He didn’t know if he could. Every time he had ever reached out to someone, he had been hurt. Over the years, he’d learned to pull inward, to give no one that kind of power over him.

He had shut off his heart, his emotions, and learned to just be.

It was the only way to have peace in his life.

Now she wanted to change all that. He had hungered for love and acceptance for so long that he didn’t dare reopen himself to any tenderness now. It would destroy him.

“I need to be alone for a while,” he said, gentling his voice. “Please.”

She withdrew her hand. “I will be waiting for you when you are ready.”

That was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to him. Touched to a level so deep it defied explanation, he turned and made his way slowly toward the stables.

“I don’t know if you’ll ever reach him, milady.”

Gasping in alarm, Callie turned in the hallway to see Simon drawing near from behind her. “You were eavesdropping?”

“Only a little.”

She smiled at his honesty. “Where is Jamie?”

“Aelfa took him to your room. She and I will watch over him tonight for the two of you.”

“Thank you.”

He nodded.

As he started to leave, she stopped him. “Simon, is there anything you can tell me to help me with Sin?”

“He is a hard man, but a fair one. No one, including me, really knows your husband, milady. Sin just is. He asks for nothing and relies solely on himself. If there is a way of reaching him, I do not know it. All I know is that it won’t be easy. But if you’re willing to try, then I am willing to help.”

“You’re a good man, Simon.”

He laughed aloud at that. “Beautiful women keep saying that to me, and yet they all end up married to another. Perhaps I should try being bad, and maybe then I could go home with the fair demoiselle.”

Callie smiled at him. “I doubt you could ever be bad.”

A young maid approached them timidly from up ahead. Callie greeted her.

“Beg pardon, milady,” the girl said nervously as she curtsied before them. “My lady bade me give this to you. ’Tis a wedding gift.”

Callie took the small box from the girl’s shaking hands. “From whom?”

“The Countess of Rutherington.”

“Sin’s mother,” Simon clarified.

Callie frowned. Why would she be sending a gift? It made no sense, given her actions toward Sin.

Curious, Callie opened the box and saw a small bottle.

“What the devil is that?” Simon asked.

Thinking it perfume, Callie opened the lid and
took a whiff of it. She knew the reeking smell in an instant. It came from the plant her mother had used to rid their hall of mice and other unsavory vermin.

It was a bottle of poison.

C
allie hesitated at the solar door where two guards stood on either side, making sure the countess didn’t leave her rooms again. But a moment’s hesitation was all she gave it. Her anger high, she strode between the men and threw the door open, then slammed it shut.

The countess looked up with a startled gasp from her perch on the bed as Callie charged unannounced into her room.

“What is the meaning of this?” Callie asked, moving to the bed to hand the countess the bottle of poison.

The lady wiped the tears from her eyes and drew a ragged breath as she ignored the bottle. She lifted her chin regally while toying with the edges of the pillow in her lap. “I thought you would have need of it tonight. Either for yourself or preferably for
him
. Either way it would spare you having to stomach such a repulsive monster in your bed.”

Callie was aghast. What on earth was the woman
thinking? “How can you say that about your own son?”

The countess stiffened, her dark eyes snapping righteous fire. “He is no son of mine. That bastard destroys everything he touches. He always has. If you were wise, you’d drink that poison now and save yourself years of untold misery at his hands.”

The countess’s hatred of Sin mystified her. What could he have done to his mother to warrant such rampant hostility? “Why do you hate him so? What has he
ever
done to you?”

“What has he done?” she shrieked, rising from the bed and dropping her pillow to the floor. “He has ruined my life. That wretched demonic father of his seduced me when I was just a child. I spent one night with him that no one ever should have known about. Instead, I conceived. When my father found out, he was so enraged, he beat me so severely it would have swept any normal infant from my womb. But not
him
. He is the devil’s own. He even survived when I drank potions that should have killed him.”

Callie’s stomach knotted at what the woman was describing. Her hatred of Sin was unimaginable.

“When he was born,” the countess continued, “he almost killed me. I bled so that ’tis a wonder I ever survived. When they tried to hand him to me, I couldn’t bear to even look at him. So I bade my maid procure a wet nurse and sent him immediately to his father.”

“You sent a newborn bairn out into the world within hours of his birth?”

“Hours? I sent him out as soon as I had finally flushed him from my body.”

Callie couldn’t breathe as pain assailed her. She
saw the image of a newborn being handed off so clearly in her mind. How could anyone be so cruel?

Worse, there was no remorse in his mother’s face. She felt fully justified in what she’d done to him.

It defied Callie’s understanding.

Rage and hatred burned in the countess’s eyes. “The man I wanted to marry refused to have me after I had been stretched by another man’s child, so my father viciously married me off to a man older than he was.”

“None of that is Sin’s fault.”

“Nay? Had he not been born, none of it would have happened.” By the light in her eyes, ’twas obvious the past was replaying itself to her. “I sent him to his father and thought I was through with him forever. Then, years later, he showed up here at court and all the gossips started in again. I had to live with the disgrace daily. People whispering behind my back. Comments and aspersions being made about my dear baby Roger. My husband was a pious man and made me wear hair shirts beneath my gowns from that day until he died. I was humiliated and forced to beg penance constantly for it. And now that monster has taken the only thing good in my life. Roger was all that was important to me. The only thing that gave my putrid life any happiness.”

Callie sympathized with the woman’s grief and she wished she could ease the pain she knew the countess bore over the death of her son. But none of that changed what she’d done to her eldest, who had been nothing more than an innocent babe in dire need of a mother’s love.

“Sin didn’t kill him.”

“You’re a fool if you believe his lies.”

Callie patted the countess’s arm in sympathy, wishing she knew what to say to ease the woman’s suffering.

But there was nothing she could do that would make his mother accept him or feel better. Shaking her head at the tragedy of it all, she handed the poison back to her. “I am very sorry for your loss, milady.”

She turned and quietly left the countess to her conscience.

Sin spent the entire day riding. He’d left London behind and headed south. Part of him just wanted to keep going. He had lands all over England, Normandy and Outremer. Castles so strong not even Henry’s entire army could breach them. No one had ever defeated him in battle. He could destroy nations if the mood took him.

There was no reason why he had to go back to London or to his wife.

None whatsoever.

No reason other than the fact that he liked the feel of her hand on his arm. The look of laughter that hung in her bright green eyes. The look of that peekaboo dimple that flashed when she spoke.

He closed his eyes as indecision ripped him apart.

Tonight she would be his. He could take her over and over until he was sweaty and spent, until they both were unable to move from exhaustion. She wouldn’t deny him the right of her body. Wouldn’t turn away from him in disgust or fear.

For once, he could have comfort and a welcoming touch. There was no doubt in his mind.

Sin closed his eyes and tried to imagine a world
where someone truly wanted him. A world filled with a woman who would smile at his approach. Whose face would light up in happiness at his presence.

Would it be so awful?

Callie wanted to be wife to him. Could he not be husband?

He could try.

Aye. He could at that. His heart suddenly lighter, he wheeled his horse about and headed back to London.

Sitting at the window with her dinner laid out on the small table, Callie watched the sun set with no sign of her husband anywhere. He’d left hours ago and no one knew where he was headed or when he would be back.

If
he would be back.

She heard her door open. Hoping for Sin, she turned to see Aelfa entering the room with sad eyes. “He has yet to return, milady.”

So this was it, then. Alone even on her wedding night. It didn’t bode well for her future if he showed her so little regard today of all days.

Callie glanced to the ring on her finger. When she’d first seen it, she’d hoped that maybe there could be happiness between them. That maybe he might be willing to accept her into his life.

She was such a fool.

“He could still return,” Aelfa offered charitably.

Callie picked at the dinner she had hoped to share with her husband. As she sat there staring at his empty trencher across from her, she became angry. This was her wedding night! How dare he treat her this way.

How could he have so little regard for her? The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. She had been nothing but kind and cordial to him. Had shown him only respect, and then he couldn’t even be bothered to show himself for supper?

Well, she wasn’t some nothing. It was one thing to need time alone, quite another to wallow in self-pity and leave her guessing about where he was and when, if ever, he might decide to return to her.

By all the saints above, she wasn’t going to sit here another minute and feel this lowly and unwanted. If he didn’t want her, fine. She wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life trying to please him when it was obvious he didn’t want to be pleased at all.

“Where is Simon?” she asked Aelfa.

“He is with Jamie in his room.”

“Could you please watch Jamie for a short time and ask Simon to come to me?”

Aelfa looked a bit confused, but didn’t hesitate with her answer. “Aye, milady. Gladly.”

Callie got up as the maid left and quickly washed her face and straightened her appearance.

It didn’t take long for Simon to join her, and yet she’d managed to down two goblets of wine while waiting for him.

“Can I be of service, milady?”

“Aye, Simon. I hear music below, and since my husband seems wont to ignore me, I would appreciate it if you would escort me to the hall where I can actually enjoy my wedding night.”

She saw the hesitation on his face.

“Please, Simon. Otherwise I shall just sit here until I become so angry that I might do him harm.”

He laughed at that. “I would like to see that, I think.”

But he escorted her below.

Callie decided she would enjoy this night. Partaking of the wine and music, she danced with Simon until her head was light and dizzy from it.

Sin entered his wife’s chambers and drew up short. There was no sign of her anywhere. A cold meal, barely touched, rested on the table by the window.

Where was she?

Frowning, he glanced around the room, trying to discern what mood she might have been in when she left.

Surely she wouldn’t have escaped now after they were wed. She’d told him she would be waiting.

Pain pierced his chest at the thought of her fleeing from him. It was so severe that it momentarily took his breath. He hadn’t realized until that instant just how much he’d looked forward to seeing her when he arrived, to finding her here with a welcoming smile on her face.

Stunned by the realization, he headed below to find Simon and see if he had word of her.

The crowd in the great hall was thick. Music, voices and laughter rang throughout the madness of it. Couples danced in the center while some groups stood off to the side and people lined the tables that were filled to overflowing with food and drink.

Every time Sin drew near a group, they would grow silent and stare at him with repugnance etched into their faces. And as soon as he passed, their heads would go together and they would whisper.

Sin didn’t care. He had no use for them, either.

As he skimmed the courtiers, his gaze was drawn by a flash of Highland plaid in the center of the tables where people were dancing.

His breath caught at the sight of his wife in Simon’s arms. Callie was leaning back against Simon’s chest and smiling up at him with an open, happy expression.

Sin saw red as possessive anger tore through him. How dare she look at Simon like that! The pain of it ate at him. He’d wanted her to greet him with that expression, and now she directed it toward another man.

Wanting blood, he stalked toward them.

“Callie,” Simon said with a laugh as he reached for the goblet in her hand, “give me that cup. You’ve had enough wine for one night.”

She pulled it from Simon’s reach, then stepped away from him, spilling half the cup’s contents across the floor. “Pop and dandies, Simon,” she laughed back. “I want more of it, not less.”

“What goes here?” Sin demanded as he drew near.

Silence settled across the room. Sin felt the looks of all the courtiers on them as they watched curiously.

“I was dancing,” Callie said, her gentle brogue a bit slurred and hard to understand. “And I was drinking.” She frowned at the cup in her hand as if unable to understand where her wine had gone. Pouting, she looked up at Sin. “But now Simon won’t let me do either.”

“I’m trying to get her into bed,” Simon confessed.

Sin arched a brow.

“Don’t give me that look. She’s drunk.”

He arched his brow even higher.

“Oh, great Peter’s hairy toes, Sin, you know me
better than that. I wasn’t going to do anything other than summon her maid to care for her.”

Callie snorted at that. “It’s a very evil thing when a woman is this far into her cups and still no man wants to tup her.”

The men exchanged shocked looks.

Seeking to get her away from the others before she destroyed herself entirely, Sin scooped her up in his arms and carried her from the hall.

She sighed, then wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. Sin trembled at the feel of her hand in his hair as she ran her fingers through it, lightly brushing them against his scalp.

“You are a strong one, aren’t you?” Her wine-scented breath against his neck sent chills all over him. “I like the way your arms feel when you hold me.”

Then she gave a sharp yank on his hair.

“Ow!” he said sharply. “What was that for?”

“I thought you left me.” She kicked her legs and squirmed in his arms. “Put me down. I’m mad at you.”

Sin tightened his hold on her. He wasn’t about to put her down. Not until he had her safely in her room.

“Mad at me?” he asked incredulously. “For what?”

“You’re a large, aggravating beastie. That’s what you are. Turning my head and making me want you, then leaving the first minute you can.”

In spite of himself, he grinned. There was something about this drunken lass’s outspokenness he liked. “Making you want me, eh?”

“Aye. I want a kiss from you, husband.”

He set her down only long enough to open the door to her room.

She swayed slightly, then threw her arms back around his neck and tried to kiss him. She missed his lips and planted a hot kiss on his jawbone.

Hot chills erupted like liquid fire all over his body.

He hissed as she licked his flesh with her tongue. “Mmmm,” she moaned. “You’re all prickly and hard.”

She had no idea just how hard he was.

Sin kicked the door closed as she pulled back.

“Where were you?” she asked, trying to put her hands on her hips, but they fell limply to her sides.

“I was riding.”

“Oh. Your favorite thing to do. How could I forget? It’s the only thing you enjoy doing. That and training.”

“Aye, and you like to dance. Tell me, were you drunk before or after you went downstairs?”

“Definitely after. There was this one tall man who said he’d be happy to take your place tonight if you didn’t feel up for it.”

“Oh, I’m
up
for it, all right.”

Before he could think better of it, Sin stepped into her arms and pulled her close, then gave her a proper kiss.

She moaned against his lips, then pulled back. “Are you going to hurt me?” she asked.