Born in Sin (13 page)

“Will we camp outside the entire way?” she asked Sin as she handed Jamie some bread and chicken.

Sin shook his head. “There should be inns most of the way and Simon’s brother lives farther north as well. Two days hence, we’ll stop on his lands. So, you’ll have a bed every night until we reach Scotland.”

Heat descended over her face as a memory of last night flared. She remembered standing naked with her husband and holding him in her hand.

It pained her that she couldn’t remember exactly what they’d done. She’d overheard many women through the years talking about what went on with men and women in the night. And once her friends
had started marrying, she’d heard even more details about it. She’d never dared tell anyone how many nights she’d lain awake in her bed wondering if she’d ever experience it herself, and now that she had…

Well, it was quite unfair to have no memory of it.

Biting her lip, she wondered if he would claim her again tonight. Heat rushed over her face as she considered him lying beside her. Of his hardness deep inside her.

She glanced to her husband, then quickly looked away.

Sin saw the blush in her cheeks and wondered what caused it. His gaze dropped to her lap and in his mind he saw the ripe curves of her inner thighs. Felt the softness of her skin as he had rubbed his own blood over her to disguise what he had yet to do.

Touching her last night without easing the desire of his body had been the hardest thing he had ever done.

Even now he could remember the feel of her supple skin under his palm. The lavender smell of her hair. The taste of her lips.

How he wanted her. Ached for her. He shifted slightly, trying to alleviate the tightness of his chausses against the part of him that demanded her most.

Callie saw the look of hunger on Sin’s face from the corner of her eye. He stared at her in such a way that it made her tremble with nervousness.

Simon cleared his throat. “Should I take Jamie for a walk to the next county?”

Sin dropped his gaze to his food. “Nay. We need to get back on the road. I don’t want night to fall on us while we’re in the woods.”

“Very well, but remember, I did offer.”

That was the last anyone spoke until after they resumed their long trek.

They traveled for the rest of the day. At dusk, they stopped at a small inn in a town she’d never heard of before. Jamie was so tired, he complained he couldn’t make it inside. Ever patient with the lad, Sin pulled him from the horse and carried him.

Once she and Simon dismounted and their horses were turned over to the inn’s servants, Sin led them into the inn, where a rotund man greeted them.

“I’ll be needing three rooms for the night.”

She widened her eyes at Sin’s request. “Jamie can’t sleep alone,” she said. “He’ll be frightened.”

His little red head of tousled curls shot off Sin’s shoulder. “I will not! Think you I’m a little lass, to be scared—”

“Nay, love,” she said gently, smoothing down one of his wayward curls. “But you don’t need to sleep alone in a strange place.”

The innkeeper cleared his throat. “I’m afraid I only have two rooms left.”

Sin nodded. “Very well, then, I’ll take those.” He shifted Jamie to his other side, then spoke to her. “You and Jamie will share a room.”

“And you?” she asked.

“I’ll sleep in the barn.”

Simon stepped forward. “I’ll—”

“Nay, Simon,” Sin said, cutting him off. “I am more used to it than you are.” His tone made it clear there would be no argument.

The innkeeper brought them food and they ate in silence. Exhausted from the trip, they retired as soon as they finished.

Callie tucked her brother into bed, and once he fell asleep, she left her room in search of her husband.

She found him outside her door, leaning against the wall with his sword beside him.

“Sin? What are you doing?”

“’Twould appear I am sitting.”

“And why are you sitting there?”

“Because it’s rather difficult to sleep while standing.”

Callie faltered as his meaning became clear. “You are sleeping outside my door? Why?”

“Because if I slept outside of Simon’s door, the innkeeper might think I’m strange.”

His sarcasm was beginning to wear on her. Still, a smile hovered on the edges of her lips. “You could come inside and sleep.”

Sin stared at her body wrapped in plaid. Her curves evident from the light behind her, she wore her coppery hair loose around her shoulders. She looked like a goddess standing there. A breathtaking angel come to save his rotten soul.

And he wanted to devour her like some ravenous wolf. To take her into his arms and sate the aching burn in his blood. It was an urge so strong, he was quite amazed to find himself still on the floor and not inside her.

Nay, he couldn’t sleep in her room. Not with her. Not when he felt so out of control with himself. “I am quite fine where I am.”

“Sitting on the floor?”

“Exactly.”

To his astonishment, she knelt beside him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. His skin burned from the softness of her lips. “Thank you, my fierce protec
tor. I shall sleep much better knowing you are out here growing stiff and cold.”

Sin arched a brow at her sarcasm. He was stiff, all right, but far from cold.

She rose and moved back into her room. “By the way, should you see Old Red Cap out to harm us, please give him my best.”

Sin snorted as she closed the door. Little did his wife know, he
was
Old Red Cap.

Callie tried her best to sleep, but after an hour, she couldn’t stand it anymore. The thought of Sin outside on the cold floor was more than she could stand.

Getting up, she grabbed her blanket and pillow and opened the door, then paused. Sin slept with his back to her, stretched out across the doorframe.

Her heart lurched at the sight of him lying there on the cold, hard floor, where his black armor no doubt bit into him. He didn’t even have a blanket to cover him. There was no way he could possibly be comfortable lying that way.

Wanting to give him whatever comfort she could, she took a step forward.

Faster than she could blink, Sin rolled over, drawing his sword and angling it at her. The tip of it was barely an inch from her throat.

She gasped in panic.

Blinking and frowning, Sin lowered his sword. “Forgive me, milady. I should have warned you that I sleep lightly and that I come awake ready to fight.”

“I shall remember that.”

Awkwardly, she handed him the pillow and blan
ket in her hands. “I thought you might have need of these.”

Sin stared at the items. In all his life, no one had ever seen to his comfort. Indeed, he remembered a time once when his stepmother had purchased apple drinks at a local fair for his brothers.

Barely seven, he had watched them gulp down the cider while his own parched throat had burned.

Might I have some, too, please
? he’d asked.

His stepmother had curled her lip at him and scowled as if he had asked her to give over one of her limbs.
Find water if you’re able. It’s free and good enough for the worthless likes of you
.

It had been the last time he had ever asked for anything. “Thank you,” he said, taking the pillow and blanket from Callie’s hand.

She smiled and returned to her room.

Sin placed the pillow on the floor and lay down again. As soon as his head touched it, he caught a whiff of lavender. Callie’s scent. Closing his eyes, he savored the sweet smell of her and imagined the way her thighs had felt as he ran his hand over them.

The entire time he’d touched her, all he had thought about was burying himself deep inside her. Feeling her arms holding him tightly.

Pain assailed him. Why was she kind to him when she, even more than the others, should hate him? He was her enemy. Her father had hated all things English, and yet she showed compassion and kindness to him.

Morbidly, he tucked his sword back under his body where he had learned long ago to sleep with it. The cool steel pressed against the heat of his chest as the
hilt and chain mail bit into his flesh. It reminded him of what he was. A warrior. There was no place in his life for comfort. No place in his beleaguered heart for a wife.

Alone was what he knew and alone was how he intended to stay.

Callie stayed up most of the night, trying to think of ways to reach her husband. There had to be some way to get underneath his thick hide and make him accept her.

Morna would know. As soon as they reached her home, she would corner Morna and find out everything she needed. Aye, with Morna’s help, Sin would be a cooked goose.

She wasn’t about to grow old without children. Whether he admitted it or not, Sin liked children. No man watched over Jamie the way Sin did unless he had paternal feelings. And from what she’d seen, Sin would make a wonderful father.

“Sleep well, husband,” she whispered. Because on the morrow she intended to begin the war she hoped would win her husband’s heart.

W
ell, so much for her war to win Sin’s heart. The entire next morning was spent just trying to get him to speak.

Callie was at a loss as to what to do. By the time she awoke, their horses were already saddled and he and Simon were waiting for her and Jamie to resume their trip.

When she smiled and greeted Sin, the best he gave was a noncommittal grunt. In fact, the only response he gave to any question or comment she posed that entire morning was a noncommittal grunt.

By the time they stopped for a rest at midday, she was quite ready to throttle him. Or at the very least set a pack of wild dogs onto his hide.

Miffed beyond measure, she laid out their food, then went to her husband, who was busy tending the horses. “I was thinking of setting myself on fire tonight. Would you mind?”

He grunted again, then looked up sharply. “What?”

She smiled. “Ha! I knew it. I knew I could get you to talk. Just think, a whole word, too. Who knows, if I keep this up, I might have you speaking an entire sentence by week’s end.”

Sin tried to glower at her audacity, but the woman’s charm was infectious. Not to mention she looked just a bit too adorable standing before him with her hair braided down her back and her cheeks bright. What was it about this woman, that every time she came near him, he wanted to kiss those plump, full lips? To bury his head in her neck and just inhale her sweet scent?

Her very presence set him on fire and left his entire body throbbing with need.

“I thought you wished to get home as quickly as possible,” he said, noting the deepness of his voice.

“Aye, but we can talk while we do that. Have you noticed Simon hasn’t had a bit of trouble asking me how I feel or if I am eager to see my family?”

He glanced to where Simon stood with Jamie while he added a feed sack to his horse. “I’m afraid I don’t speak quite as much as Simon.” Then again, he doubted if a herd of women spoke as much as Simon.

“I noticed. It’s not exactly something you try to hide.”

Sin picked up his brush and started rubbing down his horse. He couldn’t fathom why Callie chose to be here with him when she could be with her brother and Simon. Especially given the way he had treated her this morning. “Why are you being so kind to me?”

Callie paused at the words. “You say that as if someone being kind is highly unusual.”

“It is. In case you didn’t notice in London, most people won’t even meet my gaze.”

She thought about that for a minute. “I think it’s your glower that frightens them.”

“I have no glower.”

“I beg to differ on that point. You are quite ferocious with it.”

“Then why aren’t you intimidated?”

“I have absolutely no idea. My father always said I had more courage than ten men.”

“I think your father was right.”

She smiled at him and it did the strangest thing to his breathing, made his groin tighten instantly.

She waved her hand back and forth between them. “I want you to notice that right now, this instant, we are having a conversation. It’s really not hard, now, is it? Think you we can carry this on for the rest of the day?”

He actually smiled at that. “I didn’t mean to be curt with you this morning. I just don’t like to talk while I travel.”

“Very well, then, I shall forgive you. But only so long as you make it a point not to ignore me in the future.”

“I shall try.”

Sin watched her walk off, his heart heavy. She was a great beauty, and he didn’t mean her looks. Her beauty was soul deep and possessed a brilliance he’d never known existed.

In that moment, he ached for her. Ached to be a man like Simon.

If he were honorable and decent…

He clenched his teeth. There was nothing to be done about it. He was what he was, and there was no way to change it.

Sighing in regret, he returned to tending his horse.

By the time they reached Ravenswood the next day, Callie was more than ready for a night of good, solid rest. The inn they’d stayed in the day before had been cramped and cold, the innkeeper sour and dour.

It had been a miserable night spent with Jamie’s elbows and feet digging into her while she wondered where her husband was sleeping.

But tonight there would be plenty of room for Jamie to have his own bed and her husband would not be able to escape her. Aye, she would keep him by her side even if she had to tie him to her.

Simon had become more and more anxious the closer to Ravenswood they got, and as soon as the massive castle came into view, he spurred his horse forward, racing down the hill to the drawbridge.

“I think he’s excited,” she said to Sin.

“Aye, he and his brother have always been close. Much like you and Jamie.”

She glanced to where Jamie slept, nestled in Sin’s arms. Jamie had grown so weary an hour back that Sin had feared he would fall from his horse. Sin had stopped and pulled the lad to ride with him so that Jamie could nap in peace.

Jamie held the face of an angel while he slumbered and she didn’t miss the gentleness of Sin. For a man who wanted no children, he showed a kind concern that many men lacked.

By the time they entered the well-kept, stylish bailey, Simon was standing with a very handsome, tall, dark-haired man and a blond lady who looked to be expecting a child any day. The man held a toddler in his arms and looked upon them with brotherly affection.

He must be Draven of Ravenswood.

“Sin,” Draven greeted with a hint of reserve in his demeanor. “It’s been a long time.”

Sin reined his horse just before the three of them. Something insidious and painful crossed Sin’s brow as he glanced around the lovely yard, which bustled with servants attending their duties.

A haunted look came into his dark eyes and was shared by the man before her.

“Aye, Draven,” Sin said quietly, “it has. You look well and happy. Congratulations.”

Draven smiled. “The same to you.”

Simon came forward to take Jamie so that Sin could dismount. Sin, in turn, helped Callie from the saddle and led her to the others while the horses were led away by stable hands.

“My wife, Caledonia,” he said to Draven.

Draven’s eyes widened a bit in surprise, but he quickly concealed it. He turned to the pregnant lady and his face instantly softened. “My wife, Emily.”

Simon laughed. “Could we be anymore stilted, gentlemen? These ladies would never know the trouble the two of you once brewed.”

Draven laughed at that. “Us? I recall it was you doing most of it while we pulled you from harm’s way.”

“Lies!” Simon cried. “I was an innocent led astray by you demons of Lucifer.”

“Innocent?” Sin asked Draven. “Remember that time he shot the bear with an arrow?”

Draven snorted. “Remember it? I am still scarred from it. And what of the wolf?”

Sin snorted, then lowered his voice to a child’s falsetto. “Look, Draven, Sin, I found a puppy.”

“A puppy with an angry mother.”

“Oh, wonderful,” Simon said sarcastically. “Now, why on earth did I want to put the two of you together again? I recant my words. Go back to your sullenness. Both of you.”

Emily hugged Simon and squeezed his arm. “Poor Simon, ever the brunt of it.”

Shifting Jamie’s weight in his arms, Simon glanced at Callie, and by the look on his face, she knew he was remembering her trick of tying him to the bed. “You’ve no idea, Em.”

Callie smiled serenely at him.

Emily reached out and took Callie’s hand. “Come inside and let us see to a bed for your brother and a hot meal and rest for you and your husband.”

There was an open and kind air about Emily of Ravenswood. One that made Callie feel instantly at home. Though she didn’t know the woman at all, she felt a kinship with her.

As soon as they were inside, the toddler kicked Draven and demanded to be put down. “Hen, stay close.”

The boy ran to the hearth and gathered an armful of toys, then ran to Callie to show her each one of them. He garbled and cooed at her in rapid succession, but she only caught a word or two of his speech.

“He’s telling you that his grandfather bought the horse at Ransock’s fair, where he got to play with a monkey.”

Callie laughed. “Ah, that makes much more sense. How old is he?”

“A year and a half.”

“When is the next due?”

“Within a month, I think.”

Callie stared at Emily’s plump belly with a touch of envy, and she wondered if she might have already conceived from her wedding night. It would be wonderful to have a child growing inside her. To feel the small fluttering of the baby and know it was hers to love…

She couldn’t wait for the day.

Hen pulled at Callie’s sleeve, wanting into her lap. Without hesitation, she sat him there and let him continue to show her his toys.

Sin watched the natural way Callie coddled the babe and his heart ached. Breathing deeply, he looked around the great hall. It was so strange to be back after all these years.

He couldn’t remember the times he had been pinned before that same hearth while Harold maliciously beat him for any number of imagined reasons. In those days, the hall had been bleak and dark.

Now it was painted and welcoming. He barely recognized it. Even the dais with the lord’s table had been moved to a different location.

Still, he knew this place. Felt the haunted memories of the past stirring. Painful, bitter memories he had spent his entire life trying to bury.

Draven placed a hand on his shoulder.

Instinctively, Sin started to knock it away, but forced himself to endure it. There was much about Draven that reminded him of Harold. The same dark hair, the same features and height. The only difference were the eyes. Harold’s had been cruel and brown, while Draven possessed the light blue, kind eyes of his mother.

“The ghosts of the past are hard to exorcise, aren’t they?”

Sin nodded. “I’m amazed you can live here.”

“In truth, I only existed here until my wife forced herself upon me.”

“Forced herself?”

Draven laughed. “You’ve no idea what a tigress resides in that angelic body.”

Sin looked to Callie, who appeared as calm and serene as the Madonna herself. Aye, looks could be quite deceiving.

Draven offered him a cup of wine, but still couldn’t meet his gaze for any length of time. Sin knew why. He’d never forgotten the day they had last seen each other.

The heat of Outremer had been searing. Barely fourteen, Sin had been Harold’s squire for more than four years. The old earl had wanted to make peace with God and kill a few Saracens and so he had packed up his knights, son and squire and made for Jerusalem.

The journey had been arduous. Two of the knights had died en route and three more had been slain in battle. The last of Harold’s knights had died of disease just the day before a bandit had robbed Harold of all his money.

Penniless, Harold had made for a slaver. The man had wanted Draven even though he was two years younger. Draven had been better fed and far less scarred.

“You’ll not take my son,” Harold had growled. “You can only have this one.”

He had shoved a stunned Sin into the man’s hands, where he had been inspected in the crudest and coldest of fashions. They had haggled over his worth and in the end he had been sold for less than the price of a good night’s lodging.

When the slaver’s men had come at him with irons, Sin had fought them with all his strength. But it hadn’t been enough. And as they had dragged him away and the old man paid Harold, Sin had seen a flash of relief on Draven’s boyish face that his father hadn’t sold him instead.

Sin cleared his throat as he banished the memory. “I don’t blame you, you know.”

Guilt was etched into Draven’s face. “I should have done something.”

“Done what?”

“Fought him. Protested. I don’t know.” He took a deep breath. “Something.”

“You were twelve years old, Draven. You were starving and scared. Had you moved, he would have either beaten you or sold you, too. Honestly, it’s all right.”

They both knew he was lying. As bad as Harold had been, he had been a saint compared to the Saracen who had bought Sin.

For a time, they watched the women and spoke of nothing in particular. And after a little while, they re
laxed and remembered the boys they had once been. Coconspirators who had made mischief and mayhem.

And with Simon’s help, they joined the ladies and retold some of their juicier stories.

“They tell me no one can defeat you in arms,” Draven taunted Sin while Sin leaned against the hearth.

“I’ve heard the same of you.”

Simon groaned. “Sweet Jesu, not this again.”

“What, Simon?” Emily asked.

Simon shook his head. “Ladies, be prepared. You are about to witness the most horrendous thing on earth.”

Callie frowned. “What?”

“Two champions at odds.”

Callie laughed, until Sin spoke again.

“I could take you.”

Draven snorted. “Nay. Only in your most fanciful dreams. But I, on the other hand, could make
you
cry like a girl.”

“Ha! Never.”

“You think not?”

“I know not.”

“Then suit up and meet me outside.”

“Draven!” Emily gasped. “They haven’t been here hardly any length of time and you wish to spar with Lord Sin?”

“I’m not going to spar with him, Em, I’m going to sweep the list with him.”

Sin scoffed. “You wish.”

“Sin,” Callie said as he pushed himself away from the hearth. “Are you not too tired?”

“Even half dead, I could beat him with one arm tied behind my back.”

Draven smiled evilly. “Then do it.”

“I will.”

Simon groaned even louder.

Callie looked up at Simon. “They’re not serious, are they?”

Emily answered for him. “I have an awful feeling they are.”

Her awful feeling turned out to be correct when ten minutes later both men came back downstairs dressed for battle.

“Will you not at least eat first?” Simon called.

They shook their heads in unison and headed for the door. Their voices echoed through the room as they clattered down the foyer.