Borrowing Trouble (13 page)

Chapter 17

“You know you were kind of a jerk,” Brittany said.

“I know, I know. I thought you slept with my crush, though,” Landon replied, readjusting the phone on his shoulder as he reached for a box of instant oatmeal to put in his basket.

“Well, you know, heterosexual men tend to sleep with women, so being a jealous basket case every time he flirts with someone isn’t quite the way to handle the straight-boy crush.”

Landon grimaced. He still didn’t know whether he should say anything about that to his friends. He wasn’t much up for the lecture, nor was it his business to out the man, even to people Jay may never see again.

“Please tell me you’re not a dick around the ex-wife.”

Again, Landon grimaced. “Landon!” Brittany scolded. “You need to get it together, sweetie. Seriously, you can’t go around acting like a raging, jealous queen. Even if by some miracle you did start sleeping with him, his ex is a sacred thing, you know. They have kids.”

“I know that, B. Seriously. I wasn’t necessarily a dick. I just thought bad thoughts.”

“Honey, haven’t we all.”

“Anyway,” Landon said with a huff. “I just wanted to clear the air. I felt bad I was such a jerk.”

“Oh, it’s understandable. For the record, I so would have hit that.”

“Oh, I saw your patented head tilt and Bambi eyes routine.”

“My best moves!” she whined. Landon laughed. Damn, he loved his friends.

“Okay, hon, I’ve got to get off here and finish my grocery shopping.”

“Helluva Friday. You’re such a party animal.”

“You’re tellin’ me,” Landon scoffed.

“Landon, be cool. Okay, sweets? You’re the no-drama friend. You’re the rock. Yeah, it means you’re kinda boring, but we love that you’re steady. It freaked us out when you went all neurotic.”

They ended their call with promises to get in touch soon. He’d promised Mitch he’d try to make it down during Thanksgiving holidays when he had a few days off in a row.

He thought on her parting words. She was right. He’d been a bit neurotic. What he needed to do was keep his head on straight and let Jay be Jay. He could be the calm in the storm. That’d been his job for most of his life. Others lost their minds around him and Landon let them come around in their time, just held things together until they were back on solid ground. He hoped he’d been that for Jay, as a friend at least.

He peered wistfully at his phone, wishing Jay would call, but knowing that wouldn’t happen. He still hadn’t managed to tell Jay about his job offer. In the couple of days since he had fallen asleep to Jay’s humming, they’d only seen one another at work. And Landon wasn’t ready to share the news with his dad until he knew for sure he’d be taking the position, so the time hadn’t presented itself. They’d attempted to make plans for the weekend, but Bethany had some surprise news she’d come down for the weekend to share.

Landon didn’t begrudge her that. After that initial shock of Bethany making herself at home, Landon had truly come to grips with the fact that she would always be the mother of Jay’s kids. Whether he and Jay were ever actually together or just remained friends, she’d be around in some capacity. Though, he didn’t hate it that she lived hundreds of miles away for now.

Landon came out of the tiny frozen food aisle of their small country grocery store and ran into some familiar faces.

“Hey, Mr. Landon!” Millie waved at him when she and Clint saw him. They’d seen each other once more since they got home after stopping by the saw mill to get something from their daddy. The kids were always unfailingly polite, but Clint seemed to study Landon every time. Millie, though, was always ready with a smile and a hello.

Landon stopped and gave them a hello. They looked so much like their daddy, it made Landon’s stomach knot up. They both had those same kind brown eyes and light brown hair. Clint was almost the spitting image of a younger Jay, while Millie had her mother’s chin and nose.

“Thought y’all had company tonight?” How else did one make small talk with kids, especially ones whose father you were carrying on with?

“Oh, yeah, Dad sent us for dessert,” Clint mumbled, definitely uncomfortable.

Millie beamed, though. “They sent us out because they have to talk about mother coming back home!”

Landon gawped. He noticed a flush crawl up Clint’s face as he shushed his sister. “What?” she snapped at her brother, then turned a smile back on Landon. “After grandmama and grandpa left, mother said she was moving back.” Landon’s stomach lurched.

“They said they were going to discuss it,” Clint mumbled. Landon blinked, forcing his expression to something close to good cheer.

“Well, that’s good news.” News Jay surely hadn’t expected, and news Landon would fucking
love
to flail over. But not in front of the kids. Millie’s mood reflected such joy, he couldn’t be angry. And surely Bethany didn’t intend
home
to be Jay’s. Could he even get angry over that, if she was? They had years of history, and at best, they’d determined Jay was bisexual. There hadn’t been any labels attached at all so far, and he’d obviously been happy with her for a time. They had seventeen years and two children.

“Uh, we should probably get home,” Clint mumbled, giving his sister a push.

“Oh. Yeah,” Landon said lamely, then smiled and nodded at them both. “Y’all have a good night.” He definitely wasn’t going to send his best to their folks because Lord knows that could come across as passive aggressive.

Hell, he was too surprised to even be actually aggressive, much less something as calculated as passive aggressive. He’d learned Jay could be surprising, though. He’d trusted him so far. Even if they were going to end this…

Who was he kidding? After he paid out, he didn’t know why, but the tension, the strain of it all, hit him. He definitely didn’t want to push, but he had to ask, or at least stake some sort of small claim. If Bethany might be back for keeps, he had to at least let Jay know to think about him.

He made his way to his truck, then dropped his head on the steering wheel. He’d known this day might come, even if he hadn’t quite seen this. And he owed it to Jay to let him figure out what he wanted to do. Hell, he was guessing wildly, anyways, off the word of a twelve year old girl who didn’t know much more factually than Landon did himself.

He straightened in his seat, turned over the ignition, and headed for home. He didn’t know how to handle this. He had the feeling all he could do was wait. Even if that was hard as hell. He had to trust Jay.

***

              Jay’s night had started out surprising, why shouldn’t it end with a bigger bang? That seemed to be the theme of his life over the last several months.

              Bethany’s call earlier in the day announcing she would be coming in from Atlanta in the afternoon surprised only Jay and the kids, it appeared. When her parents arrived before her, they apparently had known the visit was planned. Premeditated surprises like this evening were some of Jay’s least favorite things because in Bethany’s case, it usually did lead to bigger things.

Her sharp gaze had searched him out the whole night since she’d gotten there. He really had been at a loss. She’d seemed almost accusatory, pointed comments slipping into conversation here and there.

Bethany’s father watching them, spoke of a man who didn’t know what his daughter or wife were about any more than Jay. But her mother, Beverly, cast a shrewd look his way every now and then.

They’d left after hushed conversation in the living room, the kids and Jay all shrugged at each other while waiting for Bethany to return.

Then Bethany had lowered the boom. “Remember I had some news?” She gazed at Jay first, then turned to give each of the kids a grin. “I got a job in Winona. I’m moving home!”

Millie’d bounced from her chair, squealing happily, while Clint flicked his surprised gaze between both his parents. Jay felt gobsmacked. Not that he was angry with her for getting a job closer to the kids. He knew they’d missed her. But a job so close to his home? He hoped she didn’t mean… surely not.

Since it wasn’t late in the night, not much past seven p.m., he’d offered Clint the keys to his truck and sent them the fifteen minutes to Kilmichael with a, “Me and your mom need to discuss some things.” Millie’s expression had been baleful at best, but Clint had quickly scuttled her out the door.

The door barely closed behind them before Bethany snapped. “I figured you’d be happy for us.”

He put his hands up. “I’m absolutely happy for you. A little warning would have been nice.”

“I didn’t know my life required your signing off on decisions anymore.”

He left his hands up, still surprised at the heat in her tone. “Seriously, Beths, I’m not mad. I’m surprised as hell. And you’re all too right. I don’t have a say. This is just gonna be a big deal. We didn’t discuss how it’d work with living arrangements and such.”

She straightened. “That depends.”

“Depends?”

“Mama got to talking with Lynne Sutherland at the auction last weekend.”

Jay had to bite his tongue to hold in his groan. “I can only imagine what she had to say.”

“I already had this job lined up. But Jay, so help me, if you’re really fucking Landon Petty, I can only imagine you’ve lost your damned mind, and my coming home is happening just in time.”

Jay felt the world tilt under his feet. “I…”
Say something, damn it.
Even if he’d feared this might be what she was talking about, he hadn’t expected her to blurt it out like that. And he also hadn’t expected the vitriol. She was much more level headed that this, and he’d not known her to ever have a hateful bone in her body.

“Beths. What the hell?”

“Tell me, Jay. Are you fucking a man?”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” Stupid question, of course. He probably should have guessed it might be a big deal. She may have lived in a big city, but maybe the small town girl wasn’t ready for this kind of revelation.

“Do you know how goddamned embarrassing this would be, Jay? Is this why you didn’t fight for us at all?”

“What? Bethany. I…” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I’ve been working this out with a counselor.”

“Oh, that’s fucking rich. You’ll get your shit together for a
man
? Are you kidding?”

“No! What are you saying? You know me better. I’m not doing this for anyone. I’m thinking about
me
.”

“Exactly,” she snapped, pointing a finger in his face. He’d never seen her so angry, so damned hurt. He wished he could do something, but she had him dead to rights. He couldn’t exactly lie, could he?

“Do you know what this could do to the kids?” she asked, tears starting to fall. He dared not reach for her. He felt as lost as he ever had. And fuck if he didn’t want Landon right then. Which made him close his eyes and sigh.

“I don’t understand, Beths. You think this is hard for you? Imagine me? I didn’t
know
something about myself that was this important.”

“Your mama knew. She was always telling me to be a better wife, to buck up and not worry you so much.”

Jay couldn’t help barking a bitter laugh. “Funny, she said that same shit to me. And you know what? It made me learn to never worry anyone with anything; to keep people from worrying about me, I just shut it down.”

“Well, I’m so glad you’re finally letting it all out,” she snarked.

Jay deflated. He remembered his counselor saying if he intended to have this conversation, it’d be worse if done during an argument. But how could he fix that if that’d been how the whole damn conversation started? He didn’t know why the world had gone mad all of a sudden, but he wished Lynne Fucking Sutherland had kept her goddamned mouth shut.

“This is not the Jay I know.”

He looked at her, sadly. “And this isn’t the Bethany I know. You’re my friend, the one I’ve known forever. You don’t do shit like this.”

“And
you
don’t fuck men!”

“Bethany!”

Before the argument could go any further, headlights shone through the front windows. Jay looked at Bethany steadily. “Do we do this in front of them? Do you tell them
for
me or do I get a chance to speak to them?”

“You’re going to
tell them
?”

“Won’t they wonder, Beths? Won’t they want to know why you suddenly don’t want them in my life?” His voice shook on the last word and she paused. She sobbed, clenching her fist.

“Jay, I don’t know what to do here. But I promise, I can’t let this stand.” The fear that struck in Jay’s heart at that moment, at the anger and recrimination in her voice. He hurt, deep down. He knew she was surprised. He supposed he was still getting used to the idea of being into men, regardless of what that made him, so she had the right to freak out. But this was making his head hurt and his heart ache.

“I’m going to bed. I’ll stay here tonight and let you say your peace, but tomorrow, I’m leaving with my kids.”

He wanted to toss her out, lock her out. She couldn’t do this. How could the first time he’d felt right in his whole life be about to cost him so damn much?