Bound Together (54 page)
Authors: Marie Coulson
I couldn’t believe it. My
eyes darted to Amy who was giving me a knowing smile. “You knew
about this?”
Nodding she giggled. “We
were talking the other day. Mel called to check how you were and
when I told her how bad you were handling everything she said she
couldn’t stand being so far away anymore. So first thing Monday I
went to admissions and picked up the necessary paperwork. Mel came
down on Tuesday, filed it and hey presto college
changeo!”
Taking their hands, I
pulled them into a warm hug. “You guys are the best. I don’t know
what I’d do without you.” Mel chuckled in my ear. “Right now I’d be
happy if you would just shower.” Laughing lightly, I left them in
my room and headed for the bathroom. For the first time in weeks I
was feeling ok again, a little more normal, a little more Layla.
And I really had missed her; the feisty, independent and take no
prisoners girl I was when I first came to college. Would I ever get
her back permanently?
scanned the bar. The usual aroma of sweat and bitter ales was
rancid but in my current mood it seemed so comfortably familiar.
Ollie, Amy and Mel had executed operation ‘Don’t leave Layla on her
own’ expertly for the past two hours. I was constantly in the
company of at least one of my friends. Finding myself alone with
Ollie, I suddenly felt awkward. Gazing at me from across the table
he bit his bottom lip, making his piercing pinch as it caught on
his teeth.
“
How you
feeling?”
I shrugged and took
another sip of my drink. “Same old. You playing
tonight?”
He nodded and slid his
fingers up and down the glass he’d been nursing for the past twenty
minutes. “I spoke to my brother today. He wants me to go stay with
him over winter break, but I’d rather not. He’ll just use it as an
excuse to try and talk about our parents and I am not willing to
open that fucking can of worms.” My stomach twisted as a realized
through all my own hurt and heartache I’d forgotten about his.
Giving him an apologetic look, I placed my hand over his on the
table. “I’m so sorry Ollie. I’ve been so caught up with my own
crap, I completely neglected you and everything you’re going
through. If you’re not going to be with your brother where will you
go?” Winter break was only a week away and I was spending the first
two weeks at home in Pasadena with daddy and Mel before driving to
San Francisco to spend a week with mom after Christmas. Staring at
the table Ollie shrugged. “I don’t know. Stay here on campus I
guess.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I
thought about him being alone over the holidays. Amy was heading
home too, so there would be no one to keep him company. Without
thinking I blurted word vomit right at him. “Come with
me.”
His head snapped up and
he looked at me confused. “What did you say?”
Leaning forward, I
repeated my statement. “Come with me. Come to Pasadena. You can
stay with us for Christmas and then come back here after when I go
to San Francisco. Say yes Ollie. Please, I don’t want you to be
alone.”
He gawked at me, clearly
taken aback. After everything that had happened between us, I’d
thought that Ollie and I were through. But on the floor outside his
dorm room that fateful day, he scooped me into his arms and picked
up the shattered pieces of my heart. I was in his debt. I’d put him
through hell and yet he continued to take care of me, support me
and be a constant pillar of strength. He truly was an amazing
person with a heart of gold and I owed him.
“
You’re sure about this?”
I nodded in a definitive and resounding yes.
“
Then, sure, ok, I’d love
to.”
It was settled. Taking my
drink, I held it in the air. “To having something to look forward
to at last.”
Raising his glass he
clinked it against mine. “I’ll drink to that.” Amy slid into the
booth and beamed at me. Chuckling, I gave her quizzical look.
“What’s gotten in to you?” Biting her lip, she
squealed.
“
He’s asked me out
again!”
I shook my head at her,
not comprehending what she was telling me. “Who did?”
“
James Felix! He wants to
take me to this big social dinner dance on Thursday!”
I couldn’t help but
remember Jared’s warning in my ear but seeing the happiness on
Amy’s face, I decided not to mention it. Besides, the Felix Amy
knew and the Felix Jared knew, were two very different people. I
smiled at her. “Congratulations.” Glancing at Ollie and Mel she
turned her attention back to me.
Oh
dear
.
“
There’s a catch. He has a friend in town and he needs a date
for the dance. Please Layla, I know it’s a lot to ask right now but
you’ve been to these things, you know the formality and I could
really use the support. Please, please, please. You don’t have to
like the guy just dance, smile and be your charming self.
Please.”
Did I say oh dear? I meant
holy fuck.
I gaped at her unable to
truly believe what she was asking of me. My relationship wasn’t
even decomposing yet and she wanted me to go on a date!? Surly she
wasn’t serious. Gazing at me with hope in her eyes, Amy waited
patiently for my response. I stared at Mel desperate for her to
rescue me.
“
I think you should go.
It’d be a welcome distraction. Get dolled up and go out on the
town. You still have that cocktail dress you bought on your
birthday, the white one, wear that. I’ll do your hair and I’m sure
Amy can manage makeup. It’s been over a month now Layla. You need
to try and move on sweetie.”
I glared at her.
Thanks, friend.
Ollie was typically
silent as he had learned it best not to get involved when it came
to Amy wanting something. The best course of action was to hide
quietly in a corner and pray she didn’t sucker you in. Turning my
eyes to Amy, I exhaled exasperatedly. “Fine, fine. But, don’t
expect me to be the life and soul of the party Amy. I’ll eat,
drink, smile and make polite conversation. That’s it. No hugs, no
kiss goodnight and no second date. Understood?” Nodding, she flung
her arms around my neck and kissed me. “Thank you!”
Getting to his feet,
Ollie chugged the rest of his drink and gave us a quick smile.
“Well, we’re up to play next. Hey, you ladies wanna join us? Could
be fun, just like old times, huh Layla?” Slumping back in my seat I
shook my head. “I don’t know Ollie. I don’t feel much like singing
these days. Feel like someone stole my oxygen when he ripped my
heart out past my lungs, through my mouth and stomped on
it.”
Amy winced. “Graphic
Layla. Nice.”
I shrugged at her, I
couldn’t help that she was squeamish and besides, it’s exactly how
I felt.
“
Well
maybe it’s time you let some of that emotion out in a more
productive way?” Mel was giving me her
do as you are told
look and I knew I
wasn’t going to wriggle my way out of this one. Getting to my feet
I brushed myself down and took a deep breath. “Ok, I’ve got a song
for you. You want emotion. I’ve got bottomless pits of the stuff.”
Striding past them I walked right up to the stage and waited for
them to join me.
Turning to Ollie and the
boys I told them the song I needed them to play. Eric, the bass
player, rolled his eyes at me. “Seriously?” I glared as Amy and Mel
shouted abuse at him for asking questions in the first place.
Raising his hands defensively, he backed away from them. “Alright,
alright. Jeez. Woman scorned and all that.”
Ollie laughed and glanced
at Nick who simply shrugged and began to drum the intro to ‘I Hate
Myself For Loving You’ by Joan Jett. The lyrics, beat and hard
hitting notes expressed exactly how I felt. As I belted out every
powerful, emotion fueled word, I could feel some of the tension in
my body lifting and easing. Maybe people were wrong, laughter
wasn’t the best medicine, music was. I glanced back at my friends.
Amy and Mel harmonized as my backup singers and the band were as
hot as always. Ollie grinned, his hand stroking up and down his
instrument as the song hit the guitar rocking
instrumental.
I watched as he bit on
his lip and blew the hair that had fallen in front of his face out
of his eyes. I couldn’t stop gazing at him. His eyes sparkled in
the spotlight and his dazzling smile was intoxicating as I found
myself grinning goofily back at him. His black ripped shirt was
hot, very hot and my mind suddenly began wandering to what was
hidden beneath. I’d seen Ollie topless before and he was a serious
piece of hunk with a perfectly chiseled package. My heart beat
faster and I licked my lips as I continued to stare at him as he
made love to the guitar. Well, he might as well have been,
caressing its long neck, his fingertips strumming skillfully over
the strings. I was so caught up in my daze that I almost missed my
cue.
What was that about?
When the song finally
ended I was exhausted. I’d poured every last drop of myself into
every note and now I was spent. Ollie appeared beside me and kissed
my cheek. “Awesome as usual superstar.” His breath in my ear sent a
shiver up my spine. My hair stood on end and I felt my insides
clench. Watching him walk away I shook my head, rubbing my eyes
with my thumb and index finger. What the hell was wrong with me? My
heart was broken into tiny pieces and yet my body was firing up the
furnace and heating up my libido again. I rationalized that it was
just a phase. I hadn’t had sex in over a month and I was just going
through withdrawal.
Yeah, that’s
it.
Sex with Jared was mind blowing and
obsessively addictive so the come down was always going to be
grueling. I was just hankering for my fix and my body had
momentarily selected Ollie as a suitable dealer.
Deciding that the
following day I would definitely have to invest in a B.O.B to get
me through my sexual rehab, I pushed the thoughts of Ollie’s
rocking hot bod out of my mind. Standing beside me, Mel leaned into
my ear. “Horny for the rock star huh?” I could feel her smiling
against my cheek. Shrugging, I chuckled. “Just horny generally I
think. It has been over a month remember?” Wrapping her arms around
me she pecked my cheek affectionately. “It’s good to hear you laugh
again. How do you feel now? I mean aside from lusting after your
dorm mate.”
I turned to face her and
gave her a half smile. “I still love him Mel and I hate it. And if
you asked me if I’d do it all over again, I would. It wasn’t
perfect, but most of the time, I was happy. I miss him. Nights are
worst. I turn over and reach out and he’s not there. I wake up and
sometimes for a split second I forget and it’s all ok again. But
then I remember and the same raw pain cuts through me and I have to
face the day knowing it’s that little bit harder because he won’t
be in it. I just wish I could forget and move on like everyone
tells me to. I wish I could hate him, but I can’t because for all
the god awful, cruel and twisted punishment, I can’t stop loving
him.”
Hugging me tightly, she
stroked my hair as I buried my head into her shoulder. “Oh
girlfriend, I know. If I could take it all away and make it better
again, I would. But you’re going to be ok. You’re a strong and
beautiful woman Layla Jennings. I should know. I learned everything
I did through watching you. It’s going to get easier. I promise.”
Lifting my head, I wiped a stray tear that had escaped my eye. Her
words were typical of her glass half full personality. But I
couldn’t share her optimism. I felt like someone had taken
my
glass and thrown its
contents into my face. Would I ever stop being bitter? The
heartache was bad enough but the wrathful and scornful bitterness
was by far the worst part of the whole situation. Taking my hand,
Mel led me back to our booth where Ollie had a drink waiting for
me. Giving him a smile I mouthed a thank you and sighed as I
listened to my friends talk, laugh and bicker about everything from
the weather to the color of the sky. It was so normal, so every day
and I felt extremely out of place. My world had come to a
standstill. It had stopped turning and was now just hovering
motionless in my universe. It had halted the moment I left Jared’s
drive way and I hadn’t been able to get the damn thing to spin ever
since. Maybe it never would again.
I stared down at my drink
and felt my heart descend to the bottom of my ribcage. Getting up
from his seat Ollie slid in next to me, draped his arm around my
shoulders and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I got you. It’ll be ok.
You’ll see.” Gazing at his beautiful, heart stopping smile, I felt
a thud inside my chest. Pressing my palm to my heart I smiled. What
do you know, the earth was finally moving again.
white cocktail dress I stared at myself in the mirror. The ruffled
bust line made the rounded curves of my cleavage prominent and the
black satin bow around my middle gave me a particularly curvaceous
hourglass shape. Mel had styled my hair into an elegant up do;
pinned, lacquered and curled neatly on top of my head. Amy’s
amazing makeup skills knew no bounds and had been able to
completely eradicate any trace of the dark circles that had
appeared around my eyes these past few weeks. Sighing, I couldn’t
help but think of the last dance I had attended. Jared had bought
me a beautiful gown and dinner itself was anything but boring. A
tingle of remembered pleasure shot through me but lasted only a
moment as it was soon replaced with a deep hurt and
longing.
eyes darted to Amy who was giving me a knowing smile. “You knew
about this?”
Nodding she giggled. “We
were talking the other day. Mel called to check how you were and
when I told her how bad you were handling everything she said she
couldn’t stand being so far away anymore. So first thing Monday I
went to admissions and picked up the necessary paperwork. Mel came
down on Tuesday, filed it and hey presto college
changeo!”
Taking their hands, I
pulled them into a warm hug. “You guys are the best. I don’t know
what I’d do without you.” Mel chuckled in my ear. “Right now I’d be
happy if you would just shower.” Laughing lightly, I left them in
my room and headed for the bathroom. For the first time in weeks I
was feeling ok again, a little more normal, a little more Layla.
And I really had missed her; the feisty, independent and take no
prisoners girl I was when I first came to college. Would I ever get
her back permanently?
* * *
scanned the bar. The usual aroma of sweat and bitter ales was
rancid but in my current mood it seemed so comfortably familiar.
Ollie, Amy and Mel had executed operation ‘Don’t leave Layla on her
own’ expertly for the past two hours. I was constantly in the
company of at least one of my friends. Finding myself alone with
Ollie, I suddenly felt awkward. Gazing at me from across the table
he bit his bottom lip, making his piercing pinch as it caught on
his teeth.
“
How you
feeling?”
I shrugged and took
another sip of my drink. “Same old. You playing
tonight?”
He nodded and slid his
fingers up and down the glass he’d been nursing for the past twenty
minutes. “I spoke to my brother today. He wants me to go stay with
him over winter break, but I’d rather not. He’ll just use it as an
excuse to try and talk about our parents and I am not willing to
open that fucking can of worms.” My stomach twisted as a realized
through all my own hurt and heartache I’d forgotten about his.
Giving him an apologetic look, I placed my hand over his on the
table. “I’m so sorry Ollie. I’ve been so caught up with my own
crap, I completely neglected you and everything you’re going
through. If you’re not going to be with your brother where will you
go?” Winter break was only a week away and I was spending the first
two weeks at home in Pasadena with daddy and Mel before driving to
San Francisco to spend a week with mom after Christmas. Staring at
the table Ollie shrugged. “I don’t know. Stay here on campus I
guess.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I
thought about him being alone over the holidays. Amy was heading
home too, so there would be no one to keep him company. Without
thinking I blurted word vomit right at him. “Come with
me.”
His head snapped up and
he looked at me confused. “What did you say?”
Leaning forward, I
repeated my statement. “Come with me. Come to Pasadena. You can
stay with us for Christmas and then come back here after when I go
to San Francisco. Say yes Ollie. Please, I don’t want you to be
alone.”
He gawked at me, clearly
taken aback. After everything that had happened between us, I’d
thought that Ollie and I were through. But on the floor outside his
dorm room that fateful day, he scooped me into his arms and picked
up the shattered pieces of my heart. I was in his debt. I’d put him
through hell and yet he continued to take care of me, support me
and be a constant pillar of strength. He truly was an amazing
person with a heart of gold and I owed him.
“
You’re sure about this?”
I nodded in a definitive and resounding yes.
“
Then, sure, ok, I’d love
to.”
It was settled. Taking my
drink, I held it in the air. “To having something to look forward
to at last.”
Raising his glass he
clinked it against mine. “I’ll drink to that.” Amy slid into the
booth and beamed at me. Chuckling, I gave her quizzical look.
“What’s gotten in to you?” Biting her lip, she
squealed.
“
He’s asked me out
again!”
I shook my head at her,
not comprehending what she was telling me. “Who did?”
“
James Felix! He wants to
take me to this big social dinner dance on Thursday!”
I couldn’t help but
remember Jared’s warning in my ear but seeing the happiness on
Amy’s face, I decided not to mention it. Besides, the Felix Amy
knew and the Felix Jared knew, were two very different people. I
smiled at her. “Congratulations.” Glancing at Ollie and Mel she
turned her attention back to me.
Oh
dear
.
“
There’s a catch. He has a friend in town and he needs a date
for the dance. Please Layla, I know it’s a lot to ask right now but
you’ve been to these things, you know the formality and I could
really use the support. Please, please, please. You don’t have to
like the guy just dance, smile and be your charming self.
Please.”
Did I say oh dear? I meant
holy fuck.
I gaped at her unable to
truly believe what she was asking of me. My relationship wasn’t
even decomposing yet and she wanted me to go on a date!? Surly she
wasn’t serious. Gazing at me with hope in her eyes, Amy waited
patiently for my response. I stared at Mel desperate for her to
rescue me.
“
I think you should go.
It’d be a welcome distraction. Get dolled up and go out on the
town. You still have that cocktail dress you bought on your
birthday, the white one, wear that. I’ll do your hair and I’m sure
Amy can manage makeup. It’s been over a month now Layla. You need
to try and move on sweetie.”
I glared at her.
Thanks, friend.
Ollie was typically
silent as he had learned it best not to get involved when it came
to Amy wanting something. The best course of action was to hide
quietly in a corner and pray she didn’t sucker you in. Turning my
eyes to Amy, I exhaled exasperatedly. “Fine, fine. But, don’t
expect me to be the life and soul of the party Amy. I’ll eat,
drink, smile and make polite conversation. That’s it. No hugs, no
kiss goodnight and no second date. Understood?” Nodding, she flung
her arms around my neck and kissed me. “Thank you!”
Getting to his feet,
Ollie chugged the rest of his drink and gave us a quick smile.
“Well, we’re up to play next. Hey, you ladies wanna join us? Could
be fun, just like old times, huh Layla?” Slumping back in my seat I
shook my head. “I don’t know Ollie. I don’t feel much like singing
these days. Feel like someone stole my oxygen when he ripped my
heart out past my lungs, through my mouth and stomped on
it.”
Amy winced. “Graphic
Layla. Nice.”
I shrugged at her, I
couldn’t help that she was squeamish and besides, it’s exactly how
I felt.
“
Well
maybe it’s time you let some of that emotion out in a more
productive way?” Mel was giving me her
do as you are told
look and I knew I
wasn’t going to wriggle my way out of this one. Getting to my feet
I brushed myself down and took a deep breath. “Ok, I’ve got a song
for you. You want emotion. I’ve got bottomless pits of the stuff.”
Striding past them I walked right up to the stage and waited for
them to join me.
Turning to Ollie and the
boys I told them the song I needed them to play. Eric, the bass
player, rolled his eyes at me. “Seriously?” I glared as Amy and Mel
shouted abuse at him for asking questions in the first place.
Raising his hands defensively, he backed away from them. “Alright,
alright. Jeez. Woman scorned and all that.”
Ollie laughed and glanced
at Nick who simply shrugged and began to drum the intro to ‘I Hate
Myself For Loving You’ by Joan Jett. The lyrics, beat and hard
hitting notes expressed exactly how I felt. As I belted out every
powerful, emotion fueled word, I could feel some of the tension in
my body lifting and easing. Maybe people were wrong, laughter
wasn’t the best medicine, music was. I glanced back at my friends.
Amy and Mel harmonized as my backup singers and the band were as
hot as always. Ollie grinned, his hand stroking up and down his
instrument as the song hit the guitar rocking
instrumental.
I watched as he bit on
his lip and blew the hair that had fallen in front of his face out
of his eyes. I couldn’t stop gazing at him. His eyes sparkled in
the spotlight and his dazzling smile was intoxicating as I found
myself grinning goofily back at him. His black ripped shirt was
hot, very hot and my mind suddenly began wandering to what was
hidden beneath. I’d seen Ollie topless before and he was a serious
piece of hunk with a perfectly chiseled package. My heart beat
faster and I licked my lips as I continued to stare at him as he
made love to the guitar. Well, he might as well have been,
caressing its long neck, his fingertips strumming skillfully over
the strings. I was so caught up in my daze that I almost missed my
cue.
What was that about?
When the song finally
ended I was exhausted. I’d poured every last drop of myself into
every note and now I was spent. Ollie appeared beside me and kissed
my cheek. “Awesome as usual superstar.” His breath in my ear sent a
shiver up my spine. My hair stood on end and I felt my insides
clench. Watching him walk away I shook my head, rubbing my eyes
with my thumb and index finger. What the hell was wrong with me? My
heart was broken into tiny pieces and yet my body was firing up the
furnace and heating up my libido again. I rationalized that it was
just a phase. I hadn’t had sex in over a month and I was just going
through withdrawal.
Yeah, that’s
it.
Sex with Jared was mind blowing and
obsessively addictive so the come down was always going to be
grueling. I was just hankering for my fix and my body had
momentarily selected Ollie as a suitable dealer.
Deciding that the
following day I would definitely have to invest in a B.O.B to get
me through my sexual rehab, I pushed the thoughts of Ollie’s
rocking hot bod out of my mind. Standing beside me, Mel leaned into
my ear. “Horny for the rock star huh?” I could feel her smiling
against my cheek. Shrugging, I chuckled. “Just horny generally I
think. It has been over a month remember?” Wrapping her arms around
me she pecked my cheek affectionately. “It’s good to hear you laugh
again. How do you feel now? I mean aside from lusting after your
dorm mate.”
I turned to face her and
gave her a half smile. “I still love him Mel and I hate it. And if
you asked me if I’d do it all over again, I would. It wasn’t
perfect, but most of the time, I was happy. I miss him. Nights are
worst. I turn over and reach out and he’s not there. I wake up and
sometimes for a split second I forget and it’s all ok again. But
then I remember and the same raw pain cuts through me and I have to
face the day knowing it’s that little bit harder because he won’t
be in it. I just wish I could forget and move on like everyone
tells me to. I wish I could hate him, but I can’t because for all
the god awful, cruel and twisted punishment, I can’t stop loving
him.”
Hugging me tightly, she
stroked my hair as I buried my head into her shoulder. “Oh
girlfriend, I know. If I could take it all away and make it better
again, I would. But you’re going to be ok. You’re a strong and
beautiful woman Layla Jennings. I should know. I learned everything
I did through watching you. It’s going to get easier. I promise.”
Lifting my head, I wiped a stray tear that had escaped my eye. Her
words were typical of her glass half full personality. But I
couldn’t share her optimism. I felt like someone had taken
my
glass and thrown its
contents into my face. Would I ever stop being bitter? The
heartache was bad enough but the wrathful and scornful bitterness
was by far the worst part of the whole situation. Taking my hand,
Mel led me back to our booth where Ollie had a drink waiting for
me. Giving him a smile I mouthed a thank you and sighed as I
listened to my friends talk, laugh and bicker about everything from
the weather to the color of the sky. It was so normal, so every day
and I felt extremely out of place. My world had come to a
standstill. It had stopped turning and was now just hovering
motionless in my universe. It had halted the moment I left Jared’s
drive way and I hadn’t been able to get the damn thing to spin ever
since. Maybe it never would again.
I stared down at my drink
and felt my heart descend to the bottom of my ribcage. Getting up
from his seat Ollie slid in next to me, draped his arm around my
shoulders and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I got you. It’ll be ok.
You’ll see.” Gazing at his beautiful, heart stopping smile, I felt
a thud inside my chest. Pressing my palm to my heart I smiled. What
do you know, the earth was finally moving again.
Chapter
37
Shall We
Dance?
white cocktail dress I stared at myself in the mirror. The ruffled
bust line made the rounded curves of my cleavage prominent and the
black satin bow around my middle gave me a particularly curvaceous
hourglass shape. Mel had styled my hair into an elegant up do;
pinned, lacquered and curled neatly on top of my head. Amy’s
amazing makeup skills knew no bounds and had been able to
completely eradicate any trace of the dark circles that had
appeared around my eyes these past few weeks. Sighing, I couldn’t
help but think of the last dance I had attended. Jared had bought
me a beautiful gown and dinner itself was anything but boring. A
tingle of remembered pleasure shot through me but lasted only a
moment as it was soon replaced with a deep hurt and
longing.
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