Lifting his head with my hands I gazed at him, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I just can’t go through losing you all over again. It hurts too much.” Tears in my eyes I got to my feet and walked to the door, glancing back at him as he sat, gazing at me; clearly devastated and broken, just as I was. “Daniel will take the two of you home. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you Layla. But you should know there will never be anyone else for me. As long as you’re walking this earth, the shattered pieces of my wasted heart will love you forever. You’re my girl Layla.” Pulling a chain from beneath his collar he held his pendant in his hand. He still wore it . Holding it tightly he stared at me. “You will always be my only love.” I nodded weakly, understanding exactly how he felt because my broken heart felt just the same. “Goodbye Jared.” A sob escaped my lips as I turned and walked out of the door and out of his life forever.
Chapter 38
Winter Wonderland
Amy had been devastated when I told her about Felix, although leaving out the critical detail that Lucy was Jared’s sister. Crying for days and becoming withdrawn, there was little Mel and I could do to console her. My own pain was still fresh but seeing my friend so shattered and hurt because I had chosen to ignore Jared’s warning, was devastating. Packing for the holidays, she stared at me. “I don’t blame you, you know that right? He’s a slime ball. I can’t believe what he did to you at that table, right next to me. Jared should have strangled him. I wanted to. Disgusting, vile, pig!” She was slipping healthily from depression to violent anger. “Urgh, I swear if I ever see him again I’m going to cut off his balls with a blunt knife; slowly, sawing back and forth, painfully!” I winced and looked at Mel who was laughing hysterically in the corner. “ Ouch Amy.” Shoving a large pile of dresses in her suitcase she slammed it shut, climbed on top and began jumping up and down on it, forcing it closed. “Sick, twisted, son of a bitch!” I smiled as I watched her shout obscenities at her poor, crammed, full to the brim case. At least she had a productive outlet for her anger. The door swung open and in stepped a rather smartly dressed Ollie. “Woo get a load of you spunk boy.” Mel got to her feet and walked in a circle around him. “Got a court hearing or something?” Wearing black pants and a deep purple shirt, he looked totally out of place. Grinning at her, he did a little twirl. “Actually I thought if I’m meeting Layla’s pops, I should at least look half decent.” Mel smiled at me. “If I know Layla, she’d take indecent over half decent any day.” “ Melanie!” I gawked at her. “ I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” I didn’t want Ollie to get the wrong impression about us. He’d made his feelings for me perfectly clear and though I was now, technically free and single, I wasn’t ready to move on just yet. “Don’t worry Layla. I’ll be the perfect gentleman.” He smiled at me and then turned his attention to Amy who was now stomping so hard on her case it could easily have sued her for assault and battery. Giving her a wave, he turned to the door. “That’s it Amy. You tell that son of a bitch suitcase who’s boss. Layla, I’ll get our bags and meet you outside?” Nodding, I smiled back at him as he hauled my bag from the floor and heaved it out the door. Mel regarded me suspiciously with her hand fisted on her hip. “You like him. Oh my god, it’s so obvious.” I gave her a confused look. “Oh come on Layla. You’re blushing!” Pressing my fingertips to my cheeks I felt the heat radiating from them. I was blushing but she was crazy. I wasn’t into Ollie, we were friends and I was still nursing a broken heart. It was way too soon for crushes. “You’re nuts. We’re just friends.” Landing her ass onto her suitcase, Amy snorted. “Ha! Friends that are totally and completely hot for each other and have been since they met.” “ That’s not true. I have not always been hot for Ollie.” Mel interrupted me. “Ah so you admit that you are hot for him then.” I exhaled loudly. “ No, I’m saying… I just… oh shut up!” Bursting into laughter the two spoke rapidly at me. “Ok, ok. So he’s hot, and sweet and kinda great but I’m not ready to get into anything right now. I still love Jared and that’s not going to change by me getting involved with Ollie.” Walking over to Amy, Mel helped zip up the case before turning to face me, the two of them staring me down. “Look, we’re not saying go fall in love all over again. We’re not even saying have a relationship but a little fun wouldn’t kill you Layla. Ollie is a great guy and he likes you. There’s nothing standing in your way anymore and I think you’d be crazy not to at least see where it goes. At least don’t completely rule out the possibility ok?” Rolling my eyes I conceded, hoping it would end this tiresome and tedious conversation. “Ok. Never say never.” Making our way outside, we met Ollie and the four of us said our goodbyes as Amy headed back home and the three of us headed to Pasadena. Lugging our bags into the trunk of my car, Ollie grinned. “This is awesome. I’ve never had a real Christmas before.” Mel gave him a hug and playfully tousled his hair. “Aww, well don’t worry little man, if you’ve been a good boy I’m sure Santa will bring you something special this year.” Giving me a bashful glance he smiled. “I hope so.”
* * *
The drive to Pasadena was an experience in itself. Mel had elected to sit in the back seat, leaving Ollie up front with me. Turning up the stereo he beamed. “Oh Layla if I didn’t love you before I do now! I love All Time Low!” I grinned, blushing as he sat beside me playing air guitar. Mel leaned between the front seats. “Oh that Alex is so fucking hot! I definitely would!” I laughed as I watched her make lewd gestures with her hands in my rear view mirror. “Hey, behave back there. Don’t make me turn this car around.” Falling into her seat she cackled hysterically. The second we pulled into the driveway, Mel was out of the car and taking our bags from the trunk. Ollie climbed out and stared up at the house. “Wow, this is where you grew up?” I nodded as I helped Mel with her enormous case. “Looks nice.” I smiled at him and handed him the handle of his case. “It is. Come on, let’s go say hi. We’ll catch you later Mel?” Heading across her lawn she yelled over her shoulder. “You can bet your ass you will.” Taking Ollie by the hand, I led him to the door and opened it, pulling him in with me. Dropping his case in the hallway he gazed around in total wonderment. “Wow, it’s a proper house. Like a homey house you know?” I grinned. “I guess.” Bounding down the stairs my father yelled, “Baby girl!” Scooping me into his arms, he gave me a tight hug and kissed my cheek. “Oh I missed you.” Hardly able to breathe, I laughed. “Daddy, this is Ollie.” Dropping me, he extended his hand and shook Ollie’s. “Of course, I remember, the guitar player at the party right?” “ Yes sir.” “ Let’s not bother with the sir. Andrew is fine.” Nodding, Ollie smiled. “ Andrew. Thanks for letting me stay here over the holidays. I really appreciate it.” Wrapping his arm round my waist dad pulled me to his side and kissed the top of my head. “Well my baby said she wasn’t leaving you there and that meant either she stayed or you came here. But it’s great to have another person to share the cleaning up after she cooks Christmas lunch. I swear, every single pot and pan, none are neglected.” I nudged him playfully. “Why don’t you kids unpack and we’ll get Mel and order a pizza?” I glanced at Ollie who gave me a warm smile. “ Sounds great.” Showing Ollie to the guest room I smiled at him. “I’m glad you’re here. Less time for me to be alone thinking about things when I have all of Pasadena to show you.” He nudged me gently as he placed his case on the bed. “I’m glad I’m here too. Thanks for this Layla. I mean that.” Leaning in he kissed my cheek. My heart pounded and my cheek heated instantly at the touch of his lips. Oh good god girl, get a grip!
* * *
For the first three days, Ollie and I spent most of our time hanging with Mel either at my house or hers. Her parents worked all the time so we were pretty much left to our own devices. We watched dozens of movies and easily ate the local store out of all their junk food. With pizza, Thai and Indian food just a phone call away, we were officially hermitting. Ollie hadn’t stopped smiling since we’d arrived and I was pleased to see him having fun and laughing so much. Sitting on the sofa, he sat on the floor in front of me and I smiled as I saw his eyes dance as we watched one of the comedies Mel had got from the video store. I was dazzled by his smile. He had one of those smiles you see on famous movie stars and models on billboards. Dimples appeared on either side of his mouth and his teeth were perfectly white and straight. His lip ring bounced up and down as he laughed and I found myself suddenly biting hard on my own bottom lip as I gazed at it. Mel nudged me gently with her foot which was currently on my lap as she sprawled the length of my couch. Mouthing to me silently, she grinned. “You are so bad.” I furrowed my brow and shook my head at her as if I had no idea what she was talking about and darted my eyes back to the TV, grateful that Ollie had remained completely oblivious during our exchange. Friday night I decided to take Ollie to the local park. Every year some of the people living in the area got together and there was a huge firework display and loads of food, hot cider and live music. Mel was spending the evening at her grandma’s as she did every Friday. Dressed in his dark jeans and an “I will rock your world” t-shirt, he looked like the rock star I knew and loved. Pulling on my coat, I grabbed his hand. “Come on rock star. We’d better get going.” He pointed at my keys on the table as I pulled him out the door. “We’re not driving there?” “ Nope, it’s not far, besides, I like the walk.” He groaned and stared down at his feet. I couldn’t control myself, a fit of giggles started as I looked at his pained expression while staring at his converse trainers. “These are not walking shoes Layla. And it’s not funny. I’m very fond of these shoes.” I gave him a playful shove. “Well you can always borrow a pair of my shoes if you like.” Laughing with me he shook his head. “I’ll suffer it.” My giggles continued all the way to the park as Ollie groaned and moaned as we stepped over grass, mud and dirt. Holding his hand, I leaned my head on his shoulder as we walked. “What was it like where you grew up? I mean I know about home but didn’t you have friends? Go out? Have fun at all?” Resting his cheek against my hair, he shrugged. “I grew up in a trailer park in Michigan. I didn’t have friends, it was better that way. Friends would ask questions or see things. We lived in a bad area and the nearest park was always full of addicts and needle dick, high school drop outs. It was kinda hard to have fun when you grow up constantly waiting for your next beat down.” I frowned as I thought about the poor dark haired little boy abandoned and beaten. Instinctively my hand reached for his arm where his tattoo covered a painful scar. His hoodie was covering it but I knew he understood the gesture. Pressing his lips to my head he sighed. “It’s ok. I’m still here aren’t I? And now I have you guys. I’m having more fun than I’ve had in all my life.” Gazing down at me with his soft brown eyes, he smiled as we walked side by side to the park. Lanterns hung along wires from the trees and the smell of cinnamon, apple cider and hot cocoa was intoxicating. It felt like Christmas at last. We walked hand in hand around the different stalls and every now and then I would see people I knew and make polite conversation. Everyone felt like strangers now and I found myself feeling more and more irritated by their questions. How is college? What are you studying? Is that your boyfriend? After being asked for the third time and having to explain our relationship, Ollie had taken it upon himself to simply answer yes whenever anyone asked and surprisingly it didn’t bother me at all. The band was rocking and as we approached the stage I squeaked with delight. Singing into the mic was a tall, brown haired, gorgeous face I recognized instantly. Letting go of Ollie’s hand, I ran up and waved at the lead singer who grinned down at me, signaling with his finger to give him a minute. “Who’s that?” Grinning like a lunatic, I turned to Ollie. “That, Oliver Green, is Brad Daily. We were in a band together in high school. It’s where I started singing.” Finishing his set, Brad climbed down from the stage and gave me a warm hug. “Layla! You look great! How the hell are you? You here for the holidays?” I smiled back at him. “I’m good. Yeah I’m here for a couple of weeks then heading to San Francisco to see mom. Oh, hey this is Ollie. He’s Cali State’s resident rock star.” Shaking hands, the two smiled at each other. “Ah so you play. Sing too?” Stuffing one hand in his pocket and the other around my waist Ollie nodded. “Yea, but Layla here is way better than I am. She sings with my band at our local bar some nights.” Brad grinned. “Hey, you guys should totally play! You can use my guitar. And the guys will back you up.” Lifting the shiny black electric guitar over his head he handed it to Ollie who gave me a hopeful look. “I’m game if you are.” Biting my bottom lip I thought for a moment. To hell with it, I needed a little fun. “Bring it on rock star.” Climbing up onto the stage, Ollie held his hand out to me and hauled me up. Turning to the band, he told them what to play and they all seemed delighted with his choice. I gave him a quizzical look but grinning, he shook his head. Loud and electrifying, the intro to Meatloaf ‘Dead Ringer For Love’ started playing through the speakers. Grinning back at him, I watched as he belted out the words strong, powerful and in that husky way he always sang. My breathing quickened as he stood inches from my face, singing into the mic we were forced to share. I could smell the spearmint gum on his breath and the sweet fragrance of his hair gel. When the song reached the time for me to sing, I looked straight at him and sang every word with all I had. We were a duet after all and I wanted us to be convincing. He watched me intensely with his gorgeous chestnut eyes, while biting and running his tongue over his lip ring. My insides clenched. Oh my . He was so blisteringly hot.