Breaking Through (Atlanta #3) (28 page)

The clock showed nearly eight p.m. before his head cleared again. Truthfully, he was relieved and physically spent from all the crying. He hadn't let himself cry so hard in years, but had broken down several times in the last week and a half. And as Marcus told him, every time Luke let himself tell his story or cry his tears, a piece of him healed. Suddenly counseling didn't sound so bad. Getting better for Jenna and Sophie was worth letting go of his pride.
 

With his mind back in a place where he could be positive, he slept deeply that night, ready to wake up by Jenna's side again Friday morning. He renewed his resolve to stay by her side. He could handle this.

And when he did wake up Friday morning, he squeezed Jenna's hand and kissed her knuckles like he did every morning. He rested his cheek on the back of her hand and squeezed again. "I love you, Jenna. Please come back to me."

After a quiet moment…her hand squeezed back. Luke's head popped up in shock. He gazed at his beautiful angel and nearly jumped up and screamed when he saw barely-opened eyes looking at him, drowsy but focused.
 

"Jenna…" he breathed with a smile. "Hey, baby."

"Luke…" she rasped out in a rough voice which hadn't been used in nearly two weeks. "You're here…"

"I'm here," he assured with a soft smile for her, choking back more tears. He clicked the nurse's call button. "I'm here, Jenna, and I love you, baby.
I love you
. And I should have told you before. I'm so sorry." His voice was too shaky by the end of his phrase; he was dangerously close to crying again.

Jenna smiled so slightly. She closed her eyes as she hoarsely whispered, "I love you, too."

Luke nearly started crying with joy when Jenna whispered those three beautiful words to him. He hit the nurse call button again so they would hurry up and confirm she was ok. She looked absolutely perfect. Her eyes were closed again, but her hand held firmly to his. His heart soared.
 

The nurse came in to see Luke smiling. She immediately smiled, understanding only one thing in the world would light up his face with such happiness.
 

"Hi, Jenna," she greeted with a bright smile. "I'm Pam, your nurse. How are you feeling today?"

With her eyes still closed, Jenna whispered "I'm ok I think. What happened?"

"You were in a nasty car accident, sweetie. There have been a lot of people very worried about you," Pam said warmly. "Especially this gentleman. He hasn't left your side."

Jenna's eyes eased open again and she sleepily looked at Luke. "You haven't?"

Luke, unable to stop smiling, simply shrugged and said, "I
couldn't
."

Jenna's eyes fluttered shut again, but she still held strongly to Luke's hand. "You're here…"

"And I'm staying," he reassured. A tired smile curved her lips gently; his heart soared even higher. He leaned down and kissed her hand. "I love you."

"You love me," Jenna breathed.

"More than you know," he spoke with emotion.
 

Jenna smiled sleepily again and then drifted almost immediately to sleep. Luke's soft smiled stayed on his face as he watched her. She was so beautiful. While she rested, though, he had to let her hand go long enough to text everyone the good news. Jenna was awake; Jenna still loved him.

Her hand was in his when Dr. Daily came in a few minutes later to check on Jenna. Dr. Daily checked her chart and made a few notations then returned it to the end of her bed so he could reach down to her leg to wake her. "Good morning, young lady."

Luke watched Jenna's face while the doctor moved around to check her eyes with his little penlight and explain a few things about her condition. Her face showed sleepy surprise and understanding. Her eyes opened a little further as they talked, and by the end of the conversation she looked almost awake, and
so beautiful
.

"Thanks, doc," Luke said as Dr. Daily left the room with a smile. Luke's focus moved to Jenna. "How're you doing?"

"Have I really been out two weeks?"

Luke smiled at her gently and nodded. "But you're strong. You woke up on your own. Does anything hurt?"

"I kind of ache everywhere, but it's not too bad. I can't believe I got in a wreck," she said in a rough voice, still hoarse from lack of use. She shook her head gently. "I can't believe any of this."

"None of us can," he said.

"Us?"

"All of us. Scott, Cassie, Marcus, Erin, me…"

"You're part of 'us' now?" she asked with a smile. "You told them?"

"Not really. They showed up here to check on you and saw me with you. They put the pieces together themselves."

"Oh," she replied, sounding almost disappointed.

Luke smiled. "I'm glad they know, Jenna. There's so much I want to tell you. So much has changed."

She looked at him in mild confusion. His angel was still tired and on pain medication. She certainly wasn't ready for him to gush his entire mind-shift to her, but he wanted her to understand one basic thing.
 

"Jenna, I love you. And I don't care who knows. I've been an idiot and I'm not hiding anymore. No more secrets. If you'll have me back, I'm yours one hundred percent."

The most beautiful smile played across her face. Her serene happiness healed another piece of him. "I don't need you back because I never let you go," she whispered through her soft smile. After a quiet moment, she asked, "Will you hold me?"

"I don't want to hurt you, baby," he said, offering her a few ice chips. "But I promise I won't leave while you sleep."

"You won't hurt me," she protested. "I need you. This is all a lot to take in."

Luke smiled softly again. "Ok, but if I get yelled at by even one nurse, I'm blaming you for making me come up there."

Jenna's eyes drifted closed as she chuckled softly. "I can live with that."

With careful attention to all the tubes and wires coming from her body, Luke eased himself to the edge of her bed and scooted himself up so he could tuck her head into his chest. He stroked her hair lovingly and kissed her forehead so gently. "Go ahead and sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up."

A moment later her breathing steadied. He kissed her hair and let himself sleep, too. He drifted off immediately, exhausted and relieved to have Jenna in his arms again.
 

Luke had no idea how much time passed before he heard a nurse making disapproving noises. His eyes looked up to see Pam grinning at him and shaking her head. He offered her a drowsy smile and whispered, "Her idea."

"Sure, blame the patient," she grinned, checking Jenna's IV connections and wires. "Looks like you didn't do any damage."

Luke smiled again. "I was careful."

"Then I'll pretend I didn't see anything," she smiled with a wink.
 

Pam grinned at him widely and then left him to sleep again. Not long after, Cassie and Erin showed up. Each left work early to visit Jenna. Luke woke up when he heard the two come in.

Jenna stirred as they spoke quietly. When her eyes fluttered open, she smiled at her two best friends. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hey, Jen," Cassie answered with a wide smile.
 

Erin grinned. "I'm here to kick Luke out. Marcus insists he go work out. He hasn't left in days. Trainer's orders,"
 
she finished with a pointed stare at Luke. "But don't worry, we won't leave her until you come back."

Luke was about to protest until he saw the determined looks on both of their faces. "Alright, I get it. I don't want Marcus to kick my ass," he said with a soft smile. "Bye, baby. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I love you," she whispered.
 

"I love you, too," he returned with heavy emotion.
 

His beautiful angel smiled at him and squeezed his hand again. Life was coming together one tiny piece at a time.
 

Jenna, still exhausted, closed her eyes while she talked with her friends. "Has Luke really been here the whole time?"

"Every second he could," Erin confirmed with a smile.
 

"He loves me," Jenna whispered through another soft smile.

"Absolutely," Cassie said. "You were right the whole time. And by the way…HOW did you keep him a secret? Holy shmoly. When we saw him in the room with you, we couldn't believe Luke was your mystery man. Good on you for your stealth skills, Jenna. Wow."

Jenna groggily smiled again in return. "Wasn't easy."

Luke showed up at the gym not long after Cassie and Erin kicked him out of Jenna's hospital room. He walked straight to the locker room and changed clothes before coming out and seeing Marcus waiting at the heavy bag.
 

"Hey, slacker," he joked with a smile.

"Fuck you," Luke grinned as he connected immediately with the canvas.
 

"Let me get your knuckles set," Marcus offered as he pulled the white cotton tape from his pocket. "So Jenna woke up?"

Luke met Marcus's smile with one of his own. "Yeah, this morning."

"That's great. She doing ok?"

"Seems so. She's pretty clear-headed when she talks. The doctor explained everything to her about her surgery and the accident. She took it all in stride," Luke said proudly.
 

"Was she ok with you being there?"

Luke nodded and looked at the floor. "Yeah. We're good."

Marcus grinned and clapped him on the back. "Good. Now get your ass to the heavy bag and act like you're still angry."

Luke grinned. "Yep."

Marcus worked him hard that afternoon, and Luke was grateful. His body had been stiff and still for far too long. He worked on every piece of equipment in the training area, then exhausted his muscles on the free weights until he was shaking. This was the best he'd felt in weeks.
 

"Oh, hey…" Marcus called as Luke was nearly at the door of the locker room. "Did you call Fairhaven yet?"

"Yeah. I'm going next week."

Marcus gave a small, genuine smile. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep."

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Luke spent the next two days much the same. He spent every minute he could at the hospital, and returned to training at the gym. He picked up his shifts again with George, but still spent every night in Jenna's hospital room. Every day she was a little more clear-headed in spite of her pain medication. She held his hand and asked for his arms around her frequently…and Luke's anger became background noise rather than the feature presentation. 

He even considered bringing Sophie, but he figured a hospital setting with a groggy Jenna wouldn't be the best way to bring those two together. Still, he was having a hard time being patient. Now that they decided to "out" the relationship, he was all too anxious to have Sophie and Jenna together. CB would have to deal.

On Sunday afternoon, Jenna woke up from another nap and looked up at him and smiled. "Good morning," she said as she yawned.

"Good morning," he smiled in return.
 

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," she said with a smile. "Dr. Daily came in while you were getting breakfast. I'm so out of it. Sorry. But they reduced my pain medication and I'm doing ok. They think I may be able to go home tomorrow. I'll have a home visiting nurse checking on me. Everything is healing really well."

"That's great news," he said with his widest smile yet.
 

Her wide smile matched his. "I can't wait to get home."
 

"And I'm going to stay with you, Jenna. I'll take care of you," he promised, serious now. "I'm not leaving you again. For anything."

"You don't have to do that, Luke. I know you love me, and I know we're ok. And I'm strong now, remember? I can handle things," she said with a small smile of pride.
 

"But you don't have to handle things alone," he said with a comforting smile. "I figured when you go home, I could move my stuff over. I don't have much, so we won't have to worry about space. And that way we don't have to be apart and I can make sure you have everything you need."

"What?" Jenna asked, completely shocked by his statement. "You can't move in with me…"

Luke's smile dropped and was replaced by a look of genuine shock. He had absolutely no idea why she wouldn't want them to be together. She needed someone with her while she healed. They loved each other and were together. Living apart made no sense. 

"Why not?"

"Luke, I don't know how to say this…"

Luke's heart dropped to his gut.
Fuck
. 

"…but I'm not ready for that."

"Oh."
Fuck again.

"Please don't read too much into this, babe," Jenna said softly. "I love you, and I want you with me as much as possible. But…"

Luke looked at her, heartbroken and hoping she wasn't losing faith in him. She'd been the reason he kept going. He couldn't lose her. He watched her try to chose her words carefully, but he could tell she was holding herself back.
Fuck!

"You broke my heart, Luke. What happens if you move in, and you have another nightmare and you walk out? I can't let things go so far if you won't let me in." She spoke so quietly.

"I'm sorry I did that, baby. I'm so sorry…" Luke dropped his head down to the pillow again. His entire body slumped with regret. He never should have left her in the first place. Now he'd lost her trust. His self-hatred stirred in his gut, but he tried desperately to keep that destructive force from taking over. His negative attitude already took enough from him. 

Jenna stroked his hand lovingly while he tried very hard not to cry again. These days it didn't take much to get his emotions to the surface. He looked at her hand on his and couldn't believe she was still comforting and taking care of him even with her heart broken.
 

"Jenna," Luke whispered while she trailed her delicate fingertips along his chest now. "I'm trying. I promise you I'm trying. I'm never going to walk out on you again. I'm not going to shut you out. I need you. I understand so much more now."

"You do?"