Breathe Into Me (14 page)

“He’ll be fine
, Andy, we’ll take care of him like we always do.” Cass tries to move around me, but I block his way again.

“I’m a nurse remember? I
t’s my job to help people.”

Cass takes a step away from me and gives me an angered look. “I think you’ve done enough already, now get out of my way so I can help my brother.”
A low growl emanates from the man in front of me. 

If I had
any doubts about this man being a wolf, they just flew out the window. I step out of the way and let Cass and Micah through. What am I doing? I can’t just stand here and do nothing because I’m afraid, despite all of it I love Adam, shape-shifter or not. I tell Kelsey to stay put and rush out the door into the dark parking lot. I follow the sounds of curses and raised voices and stop in my tracks when I hear Adam’s voice.

“Stop fucking babying me
, Cass, it’s just a scratch.”                                                                           

“Yeah well your scra
tch is leaving a blood trail.”                                                                       

“I’ll live, just leave me a towel and the bottle.”

I force my feet to move forward, I make my way around several cars until I spot the three men. Adam’s sitting on the ground leaning his back against a tire. His head whips up at my arrival.

“Andy.
”

Hearing his deep voice sends ch
ills down my spine. I ignore my conflicted emotions and move closer to him, he starts to get up, but I quickly stop him. “Don’t move, let me see the wound.”

He moves his balled up shirt to reveal
a nasty looking stab wound.

“You should be in a hospital,
” I say as I grab the first aid kit and kneel down beside him. That’s when I get a closer look at his face. It looks like someone has used it as a punching bag. His left eye is swollen shut and darker than the night sky. He has dried blood coming from his nose and ears and his hair is matted in spots, probably more blood. “Jesus what happened to you?”  I grab a pair of latex gloves and try to exam his wounds.

“Don’t.
” He starts to inch away from me.

“Cass was right to treat you like a baby, now let me look at that eye.”

He jumps to his feet so quickly it takes me a second to realize that he even moved. “I don’t need or want your fucking help. Just go back inside and continue celebrating the fact that you’re single.” He grabs the bottle from Cass’s hand and begins to walk away. I brush off the dirt from my knees while ignoring his spiteful comment.

“You
need stitches.”

Adam begins to laugh as he turns to face me.
“Don’t act like you give a damn about me, and just so you know, all of this,” he twirls his index finger around his battered face, “hurts a hell of a lot less than what you did to my heart.” He shows me his bruised back and I am forced to watch as he walks away.

“Where the hell are you going
?” Micah calls out.

“To find another fight,
” he yells back.

“The
crazy bastard has a death wish,” Cass says as he runs a hand through his golden hair. “We barely made it out of the last one.”

Micah holds his hand up to silence
, Cass. “Enough go inside with the others.”

Cass nods and grabs the supplies before heading back inside. I suddenly feel nervous being left alone with him.

“Aren’t you going to stop him? He’s going to get himself killed.”

Micah leans his large body against the nearest car. “He’ll be fine
. He just needs time to cool off.”

I doubt that, he seemed rather up
set. “He wasn’t lying was he?”                                                                        

“No
. He did a rather poor job of explaining it to you, but when emotions are involved they tend to fuck things up.”

So it’s true, which means I just let the best thing too ever happen to me walk awa
y. “I’m such an idiot,” I sigh.

“Don’t be hard on yourself, fear is a powerful thing. It’s not every day
that you find out your lover isn’t human.” 

I lean against the opposite car and stare up at th
e stars. “Don’t forget about Angels, vampires, and witches being real.”

He lights a cigarette and the sweet smell of cloves hits my nose. “Let me ease some of your fears. Ange
ls, just like us, have jobs to do. They almost never reveal themselves to humans. Even if they did, you’d be in no danger from them. Although your friend might, if she thinks my brother is hot, she’d be overcome with lust if she saw the angel of death.” He chuckles.

“Oh my god, you guys heard us talking didn’t you?”

He nods and continues to chuckle, “We have exceptional hearing, now back to what I was saying. Witches and necromancers don’t attack humans, being human themselves they reserve their hatred for vampires and shifters. As for vampires, they don’t need to kill to feed and they hate the ones who do because it causes humans to panic, which makes it harder to find a meal.”

I cringe at his casual way of referring to humans as food.

“And just so you know, shifters aren’t blood thirsty beasts who go around biting humans and vampires are not soulless creatures who prey on the innocent. They were created by an Angel just like us and have no choice, but to drink blood, it is part of their curse.”

That still doesn’t make me feel any better but I
can see his side of it. “So shape-shifters and vampires aren’t evil like they are in movies?”

“Some are, but evil can be in all of us, it’s not just reserved for the supernatural.”

He’s right about that, I know firsthand that humans are capable of inexplicable violence and cruelty.

“Adam said I was his mate, what does that mean?”

Micah stubs out his smoke with the heel of his boot and places the butt in his pocket. “I think the human term is ‘soul mate’, but for shifters it means you are the only one for him. You two were literally born for one another. When we find our true mate, it’s like finding our other half, it’s all consuming love, and we’d do anything for that person even die for them. It’s rare for us to find a true mate and you’ve seen what happens when we lose them.”

That I have, Adam seems to have no regard for
his wellbeing.

“Listen
, Andy, he’s just being as ass right now because he’s hurting. Please don’t let what he said tonight or your fear of the unknown stop you from being with him, take a few days to think everything over than talk to him.”

I nod and follow Micah
to a blue Chevy avalanche parked nearby. He must be going to look for, Adam. I start to thank him, but choke on my words when I see his bare chest.

“What are you doing?” I gasp as he starts to toss his boots and clothes into the bed of the truck.

“I’m going after Adam and this way will be quicker.”

A
nd right before my eyes, the six foot five man shrinks down into a beautiful grey wolf and bounds into the woods.

“Holy shit!
” Did that really just happen? I stand in shock for what seems like hours. I need another drink. With one last glace at the woods, I walk back into the bar.

“Is everything
Okay? Did you two make up?”

I shake my head.
“Adam’s rather pissed at me at the moment.” I deserve everything he can throw at me and more, I should have kept an open mind just as Grace had asked me to. Now I understand why she said that.

“Cass was pretty beat up. I didn’t realize
being a bounty hunter was so dangerous.”

I toss back my shot.
“Neither did I.” But now that I know all of this is real, their battered appearance last week makes more sense. Panic grips me as I realize that they must’ve been after the animals that killed those kids in the woods.

“Hey
, Irish, you have to change this music, all this boy band shit is making my balls shrivel.” 

Finn shakes his head at Jamie and begins to comply.

“Don’t you dare, Finn, you promised me that we could listen to dance music.”                            

“It isn’t real music without guitars
, princess, this is shit. Now change the fucking station before I come over the bar and do it myself.”

Finn quickly changes the radio station and stops when Blue Oyster Cult begins to blast through the speakers.

“Ah much better,” Jamie sighs.

“Please, it has a cowbell in it for crying out loud.”

The two men smile and in unison turn in our direction. “I gotta have more cowbell, baby.” They say in their best Christopher Walken impersonations.

I stifle my laughter at their SNL reference while my best friend narrows her eyes on them. Oh boy, Jamie has no idea what he’s in for, I almost feel sorry for him, almost.

“Listen up, princess, as long as it has fucking guitars I don’t care if Tinker Bell’s involved.”

I almost fall off my stool in laughter. Kelsey promptly gives me a dirty look.

“Sorry it was funny,” I say as I wipe the tears from my eyes. Man, I needed that, I haven’t laughed that hard, well since last week.

“Actually that song you called “shit” did have guitars in it
, but whatever, I’ll remember this, Finn, lets go, Andy.”

I wave goodbye to the guys and join my friend at the door.

“I’m starting to get impatient, princess. If you don’t make a decision soon I’ll be making it for you,” Jamie says as he leans his body against the bar and eyes Kelsey from head to toe.

What is he talking about, did
something happened between them?

“Haven’t you ever heard
of the saying that good things come to those who wait? Besides, what makes you think I’m interested in your offer?”

What offer? Oh, she has some explaining to do when we get home.

“Please we both know you want me and you know damn well you’re going to give in to me in the end, so why don’t you just ask me the question that’s been on the tip of your pretty little tongue all week?”

I follow my friend as she moves back
toward the bar.

“God you’re so freaking arrogant. I’m sure you
’re used to women throwing themselves at your feet, but guess what, pal, I will not be one of them. I have no interest in becoming a notch in your belt. So you can take your proposition and shove it.”

I’m not sure if it’s the tequila or the fact that I’ve barely slept this last week
, but this whole conversation is confusing the hell out of me. I give Finn a quizzical look hoping he can fill in some of the blanks. He shrugs his shoulders, but the look on his face tells me he knows exactly what’s going on between those two.

“You know for a tiny ass female you sure are full of p
iss and vinegar. I’ve got to admit, it’s one hell of a turn on,” Jamie says while rubbing his thumb across his bottom lip. His dark eyes appraise my friend and I start to wonder if he really does like her or if this is just about sex.

“I’m no
t tiny, I’m fun sized,” she scoffs.

Jamie tries to hide his
amusement, but fails miserably. Man he has a nice smile, he should do that more often. “Before you go, can I cash in one of my questions?”

Kelsey shrugs her shoulders in a show of indifference.

“How the hell do you walk in those shoes?”

I glance down at her
new, black, six-inch Louboutin ankle boots. Kelsey flashes Jamie a huge smile. “You wouldn’t believe the things I can do in stilettos.”

Chapter 12

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?
”

I ignore Micah and continue to wash away the blood and dirt from my broken body. Man I can’t believe
that we stumbled upon a den of werecoyotes. We found three of them downtown and had chased them into the woods of course it had been a trap and when we reached the den, three turned into twenty. It’s was bloody, but Cass and I got the job done.

“Well since you don’t feel the need to answer me I have no choice, you’re off
rotation until further notice.”

He has got to be kidding.

“You can’t do that, you fucking need me and we both know it.” What the hell am I supposed to do all night? I have to keep busy. If I don’t, then all I’ll do is think about her. Andy…I can’t believe that she was at the bar tonight. I’ve never felt so many different emotions all at once. Of course, anger won out and I was a complete dick to her. I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my hips.

“I need you alive, and you’re a danger to yourself and others. You could’ve gotten Cass killed tonight.”

Shit he’s right, Cass had wanted to call for backup, but I wouldn’t let him. I just ran us straight into the line of fire.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking
.”                                                                                                                  

“I know and that’s the problem. This thing with Andy has you all screwed up. I talked to her by the way, if it’s any cons
olation she believes you now.”                                                           

“Sure she
does. One talk with you and she’s suddenly on board, right?”

I make my way into my room and put o
n a pair of basketball shorts.

“I helped ease her fears by answering a few questions then I shifted in front of her.”
                                                                                    

“You did wh
at!” I shout. Fucking idiot, Andy must have been terrified.

“Relax
, kid, she had already accepted the truth by then.”

Fucking Micah, I can’t believe he did that to her. He’s right though she can’t
deny it now.

“It doesn’t matter if she believes me anymore, I’m done.” I grab a half-empty bottle of
SoCo and head outside to my deck.

“What do you mean
‘you’re done’?”

I take a large swig from the bottle before answering. “It means
, oh great leader, that I’m done with this whole mate business. I’m letting her go. I never should have gone after her in the first place.” I grab my pack of Camel menthols and light up. I can’t believe I started smoking again, but I needed something to do.

“How hard did you get hit in the head? She’s your mate
, Adam, you can’t just walk away from her.”

He acts as if I haven’t thought this through.

“I love her enough to let her go.” I want Andy to be safe and happy, even if that means being with someone else.”

“
So it won’t bother you that another male will kiss her, hold her, make love to her? Bullshit.”

The thought of
another male being with her in an intimate way makes me want to commit murder. “That’s why I want you to send me to Boston. I already spoke to Hannah and she’s willing to switch places with me.” I don’t want to leave my brothers, but I need to put some distance between Andy and myself.

“I don’t
care who you talked to, you’re not going anywhere.”                                                                                                                                       

“
I don’t have a fucking choice! Either you send me somewhere else or I’ll…”                                                          

“If you
think that I’m going to let you go off on your own so you can commit suicide you’re crazier than I thought. You know, I never thought you were a coward.”

Oh,
he did not just say that to me.

“I’m walking a fine line right now
, Micah, it’s taking all of my energy to keep it together,” I growl in warning and I hope to god he backs off. I’m not exactly sure I’d be able to win that fight.

“Has it crossed your mind that maybe the girl just needs time to process all of this?
You expected her to accept what you said at face value and when she didn’t you threw in the towel. You should be fighting for her, not running away.”                                                        

“All
I wanted was to find someone who would love all of me, someone who’d be proud to stand by my side. When I met Andy, I thought I had finally found that person. I wanted to marry her. I wanted to sing to her belly while she carried my young. I was prepared to fight for all of that, because for the first time in my life the things I desired were within my reach.”                                                                                                                      

“You can still have all of that just give her a
few more days.”

I shake my head.
“You don’t get it, she found me unworthy, and even if I could get past that, it’s selfish of me to put this life on her. Andy would always be in danger and so would our young. They would never have a normal life. I’m not giving up because I don’t think Andy’s worth fighting for, I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to do.”

Micah sighs and tur
ns to leave. “Give me one more week. If you still feel the same way I’ll let you go.”

***

“Knock, knock, motherfucker.” Jamie enters my room and takes in my appearance. “Damn you look like shit.”

I’m so not in the mood for this. “Fuck off
, James.” I’ve already had one lecture from a Trudeau tonight I can’t handle another one.

“What the fuck are you listening to?”

He grabs my iPod before I can stop him. “Coldplay? Well no wonder you’re depressed.”

I throw my arm over my throbbin
g face. “What do you want? Can’t you see I’m trying to wallow in misery?” I growl.

“Yup that’s why I’m here, Misery Loves Company, and all tha
t shit. Now push over.”

I make room for Jamie as
he flops in my bed causing my body to erupt in pain, bastard. 

“Here I brought you another bottle
. Figured you be running low.” He passes me my drink of choice and all is forgiven.

I had run out right after Micah left and was too lazy to go get more.

“I hear your leaving.”

Ah so that’s why he’s here. “You heard right.” I crack open my new bottle and take a healthy sip.

“You’re going to hate it in Boston.”

He’s probably right I hate big cities. “I’ll deal with it.” Anything’s better than staying here and watching Andy move on.

“You know Micah is thinking of pulling out of Boston for a while since most of the action is here.”

Shit, I hadn’t thought about that
, but it does make since to have the other three Enforcers here. “Then he can send me somewhere else.” It’s not as if Massachusetts has the monopoly on A and O problems.

“Yeah, but do you know what that means? I’ll be forced to live with that fucker
, Dallas. I guarantee I’d kill him his first day here.”

Micah must
really be desperate to put these two together. It wasn’t always like that between them. They actually used to be able to tolerate each other.

“You’ll survive
. Just don’t sleep with anymore of his woman.”                                                                                                                               

“You know I actually
regret sleeping with her.”

Wait
, I know I didn’t hear him correctly?
“Did you just admit you were wrong?” Maybe I’m in a coma, or dead, and this is just some sort of twisted form of hell.

“Fuck no I wasn’t saying
that I was wrong for doing it, I just wish that I hadn’t. The sex was fucking awful. That female had no imagination what so ever.”           

“Damn and here I was thinking you had grown a conscience.” I sigh and shake my head in mock disappointment.

“I
f anything, I should tell Dallas the truth and demand that he apologize to me for saving him from having to go through that.”

I can’t contain my laughter.
“Only you would have the balls to do something like that.” God I’d love to see the look on the Texan’s face when Jamie demanded he apologize.

“If you stay I’ll totally do it.”

I knew that was coming. “Nice try, brother.” I’ll give it to him I’m tempted to stay just to see if he’d actually do it.

“I had to try. On the upside Hannah will be here and that she wolf
is hot.”

I roll my eyes at him.

“What is it with you and blondes
anyway?” I swear, if there is a blonde in a fifty-mile radius Jamie will find her and bed her.

“What can I say, they’re more fun.”

An image of Kelsey pops into my head. “Speaking of blondes, I know one who wants your ass bad.” Now that woman would give him a run for his money.

“You’re talkin
g about the princess, right? She’s cute, but I’m not interested.” 

Sweet Jesus, maybe I am dead.

“I’m sorry my hearing must have been messed up when the Omegas were using my head for a piñata. You’re not interested in her?”                                                                                      

“
Just drop it, okay? Now tell me why you’re leaving.”  He lights a smoke and exhales loudly.

“
I thought I could stay away from Andy, but I can’t be near her and not be with her.” Even tonight, when I was yelling at her I had wanted to hold her, breath in her scent, god just tell her that I miss her.

“I’d like to say I understand
, but the only people I’ve ever gave two shits about live under this roof and none of you bastards are my type.”

Shit, sometimes I forget
about Jamie’s past. Caring about people doesn’t come easily to him. Too many people have let him down.

“I’m sorry Jamie, I’d stay if I could
, but it hurts too much to see her. We’ll always be brothers and I’ll just be a phone call away.” It kills me to think of not seeing these males every day. We’ve been through so much together.

“I know it’s just going to blow without you around.” He sighs as he turns to face me
. “Tu sei il mio partner nel crimine, sarete sempre con me mai dove vado. Siamo fratelli per la vita"
You are my partner in crime. You will always be with me where ever I go. We are brothers for life.
His touching words in Italian shock me to my core.

“
Sei sempre stato IL mio migliore amico, mio fratello, mi mancherai ogni giorno che sono andata, ti amo, James”
You have always been my best friend, my brother. I will miss you every day that I am gone, I love you, James.

Jamie scans my face
for several minutes before answering me. “I love you too, little brother.”

We lay in the darkness
together for hours. Tonight had been the first time that I’d heard Jamie say those words. I’m not even sure he’s ever said them to his real brother.

“What does it feel like to be in love?” His question takes me by surprise. I sigh and try to think of a way to explain it.

“Her scent calms me and takes away my anxiety. When she looks at me, I feel as if I could take on the entire world and win. I crave her touch, just the simple gesture of her holding my hand is enough. Andy made me want it all, a wife, and kids. She made me believe that I deserved to have a family. Andy gave my life purpose, I was more than just an Enforcer I was a male of worth. I wanted nothing more than to spend my life making her happy. Just seeing her beautiful smile and knowing that I did or said something to cause it filled me with pride. Now I feel like I can’t breathe, my heart literally aches when I think about spending an eternity without her. I feel like I’m drowning and no matter how hard I fight, I just continue to sink. Every song I hear reminds me of her. Every time the wind blows and I catch the scent of wildflowers I have to fight back tears. When I saw her tonight, the first thing I wanted to do was beg her to take me back. I’ve never begged for anything in my life. I’m so messed in the head I almost got Cass killed. Andy’s all I think about, dream about. I feel like part of me is missing.”                                                                       

“God save me from love. I don’t ever want to go through that.”

I wouldn’t wish this pain on him either.

“The humans say it’s better to have loved and lost than to have ever loved at all. I can’t say I
agree with them at the moment.”