Breathe With Me (The Breathe Series Book 3) (16 page)

My thoughts drift away as I once again hear Evan’s voice through the door to the shower house.

“I had no idea back then…not at that moment anyways. I mean, when I first walked up, I thought for sure she was talking about what we had just done in the camper. I was trying to figure it out…searching for answers on how she could think I even had an opportunity to say anything to anyone in that brief amount of time, but when she said those last words and mentioned something she had only told me…it all slammed into me. I knew exactly what she was talking about. I felt like a piece of shit.”

Judd’s voice chimes in and I strain to hear. “So wait, what was the thing that she had told you?”

The sounds of the wind blowing through the trees right off the dock, instantly stop as if to help me out. I listen, my breath caught in my windpipe. The familiar presence of deceit creeps up on me, waiting. For a second I want to race in and scream at him not to do it again. He has no right.

Here I am, hoping to run into him and thank him for last night; to apologize for the way I reacted when he in fact came to my rescue like he always had before.

Evan’s voice stops me in my tracks and freezes all my fears.

“I screwed up there once before and I will never do it again. That’s for her to tell who she wishes.”

“So you knew something personal about her and told someone? Who did you tell?” Judd asks and I press my head to the door, not even caring if anyone walks up.

“I did and trust me, I didn’t tell anyone. Well…at least it didn’t go down as simple as that. My brother has a way of pushing buttons and I usually rise to the occasion like a dumbass. Anyways…”

I pull away, letting him have his conversation. His words make me want to know more, but for now I let it be.
He didn’t say anything. Judd doesn’t know? He’s been his best friend for years and he has never told him?
My mouth gapes open and I walk up the dock, deep in thought. A weightlessness comes over me; one that I haven’t felt since that day, before my confrontation with Mitch. It’s overwhelming and takes me by surprise.

That day not only changed my entire outlook on love along with ending my relationship with Evan, but it altered my entire life.

Everything changed.

That day crushed me,

But for once, today…

Listening to Judd and Evan talk, it gives me hope.

“SO…LAST NIGHT I GET
a call from Abby. Freaked me out.”

Judd snaps his head around to look at me. “Why…what happened?”

I shake my head, pulling my knees up and placing my forearms across them. Clasping my hands, I carefully shuffle through my wording before letting it fly. Where Piper is concerned, I always think twice before speaking.

“Well, I went over there and tried to help out with a…ummm, just a touchy situation.” I glance over and see Judd nod as if not questioning my vagueness at all, so I go on, “For a second I thought everything was going to be put behind us.” I sigh, dropping my head back against the wall with a thump. “Then, there she went. She remembered…remembered what a douche I was for opening my damn mouth and telling the one person that would no doubt use the information to do the most damage. Anyways, she ended up getting all pissed off and told me to leave.”

“Hmmm…” Judd stares forward, looking maybe like he is half-ass listening or maybe just trying to figure out what I am talking about since I am practically talking in code. “Well, listen…I’d take the first part as a sign that maybe it can be put behind you. Just keep trying.” He rises to his feet, brushes off his pants then stretches his arms above his head.

“Yeah,” I let out an insincere chuckle at his logic and stand up as well. “Only thing is…it was alright for a minute, because she was half asleep. I think she was a little spaced out when she came to…saw me, a familiar face and didn’t think immediately. As soon as she did…she made sure to let me know that I had no business over there.”

“And that’s what was bothering you earlier? Just another day with her…” he pauses, gritting his teeth before finishing, “…ummm well, hating you I guess.”

I flinch at that thought. She did hate me; does, for all I know.

“No, what bothered me is last night when I left her cabin, Abby walked me out and we were talking. Here I assumed that she knew all about everything since she called me for help. I mean, she mentioned that she knew I helped Piper out with this sort of…” I hold my hands up and then drop them, refraining from the air quotes. “…situation. Well…” I blow out a deliberate breath.
What the hell did I do?!
“I freaking had a slip of the tongue…again.”

I want to slap my hand across my face and hide in shame, but moreover I look at Judd, wanting his take on it even though he is limited on the detailed information.

“Ok…and she didn’t know? She told you?”

My brows shoot up and I shake my head. “Oh no she had no idea.”

Judd presses his lips together. “Wow, this is a tough one.”

I snicker at his struggle to give me advice.

“No I mean, I don’t know much about it, so it’s hard to tell you what my opinion is. Of course if that’s what you were needing,” he pauses, looking for assurance.

I nod, eager for him to enlighten me with some vast knowledge of women that I haven’t yet discovered. I seriously am lost when it comes to this. I haven’t any idea how to get out of this. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Abby will tell her and then it will be bedlam all over again.

“So what did you say exactly to her?” he stumbles to reword, “I mean, without telling me so much. Did you just say it right out loud?”

I take in a deep breath, thinking it over.

“Thank you for coming. I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do.” Abby and I trail along back to my camper, her explaining everything that went on from the point she walked in and found Piper passed out.

My least favorite part of the tale is finding out that Chris just so happened to come out of the bedroom and get Abby, telling her of Piper’s condition. What an ass! I grit my teeth, scraping them against each other as the sharp sound makes the hair on my arms stand on end. I figured as much from the second I walked in and saw him panicking.

“I don’t think I would have known what to do had you not shown up.”

“Yeah, I’m glad Piper told you about it so you knew to call me. Has she done this a lot?”

I’m curious for two reasons. One, I’m jealous as hell and want to know if she’s put herself in situations to trigger instances like this. I know firsthand, intimacy is the biggest culprit of her blackouts through the night. Two, I’d like to know just how it has been stopped in the past. Has she learned to control it on her own? If so, why didn’t she do it tonight?

“Not a lot, but she has a few times. After the first time that I found her, she told me about what makes it happen and then she told me all about you guys…how you used to see each other.”

I look over as my feet crunch across the gravel lot not far from Grandpa’s cabin. She looks at me bashful, almost guilty from knowing this information. A look that is definitely not very Abby-like. Wow, she knows it all.

“Wow! You must think I’m an ass for everything, but I’m glad she had someone to trust and confide in.”

She laughs. “I don’t think you’re an ass, Evan. Oh…well…” She trips over her words, squinting her eyes and looking up towards the sky as if she is weighing her answer.

I burst out laughing, grabbing my stomach. “Oh well hell, that looks like it’s a tough call.”

“No, I was just going to say that I thought you were a little bit of an ass, but after she filled me in a bit more and then told me about Mitch basically making fun of her for it…well, then I thought he was the ass. You were just guilty by association.”

We both laugh.

“How is she?” the words slip out before I can stop them. I’ve wanted to ask Piper this for years, but we never have gotten to that point where I can ask something like that before she’s telling me to kiss her ass. “I mean has she moved past it yet?”

“Well, obviously not.”

I nod my head, but then second guess agreeing. She used to have episodes over the smallest things. One time she blacked out when I ran my hand over her hip. She started hyperventilating and I had no clue what I had done. That was the first thing that made me question what had gone on with her, that and the night she showed up at my camper, looking like she was scared for her life. I hate thinking about that night. I would have hurt him, had I known then.

“I guess I mean more like physical contact and words; do they still make her black out? Or is it just when she remembers what happened due to someone trying to get close to her?”

I look over as we stop in front of the door to my camper. Abby goes silent and I can see the confusion on her face.

“Huh? What are you talking about? Physical contact? Weren’t we talking about the nightmares she’s had since she was a kid?” her eyes pierce my soul, and I honestly want to crawl under a rock.

No, no, no…I did it again. What the hell…how do I clean this up? Shit!

“Ahhhh…yeah, I meant the dreams about that…” I leave it open ended, sucking at covering up the fact that I was clearly talking about the distress she personally suffered rather than some measly little dream.

Abby crooks her head to the side, reading my expression as I look around, anywhere but her eyes. This girl, I have no doubt could read me like a book.

“No, what are you talking about? Did something happen to Piper?”

“No!” I snap, probably a little too fast.

Great now it looks like I’m hiding something; I am. Damn!

Abby pushes her lips to the side as if she is chewing on the corner of the inside of her mouth. “Evan, I know you aren’t talking about nightmares. You know I always thought that wasn’t what she was talking about either, when she told me about them. I mean most people wouldn’t black out from dreams unless they were brought on from a real life trauma kind of like post-traumatic stress.”

“Ahhhh,” I have no clue what to say or how to clear this up, so I go for the best I can do. “It’s late. I think I am going to hit the hay.” I immediately turn and grab the door handle with guilt tugging at my heart. “Abby,” she’s walking away, but quickly turns in a carefree, out-on-a-night-walk fashion. “Hey, can we just kinda keep this under wraps?”