Breathless - Jesse Book 1 (9 page)

I audibly exhaled and relaxed back into the seat and Kat’s soft elbow fell against my arm. She would sleep it off and wake with a pounding headache in the morning. What the fuck had happened tonight? Kat was going after Jesse pretty hard, yet I repeatedly caught him staring at me. And the electrifying vibes between us were off the charts. My eyes blankly focused out the cab window the rest of the ride home, unaware of the cityscape rushing past. There were some things in life that couldn’t be explained, but I had a quirky feeling, hurricane Jesse was about to hit land.

Jesse

“C’mon, Chase, give me her number,” I pleaded. I worked my left hand doing curls with a hand weight. Chase was helping me strengthen the muscles in my injured hand at the gym where he worked part-time as a trainer.

“I’m not giving you Niki’s number, dude. I know you, you’ll just fuck her over with a one-night stand and I don’t want her hurt. Niki and I have been friends since high school.”

I couldn’t believe he was cock blocking me like this. Maybe the real reason he refused to give me her number was that he was into Niki himself. “Seriously, dude, I’m not like that. That was the old me. I just want to take her on a date and see how it goes. You know, two people getting to know each other like adults.”

“Jesse,” he stopped and stared straight at me. “You are only here for the summer, man. Suppose you two hit it off? Then what? You leave and I have to put up with tears and all the, “What did I do wrong?” whining and crying and help her get over you. I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like a good idea. Besides, she has a boyfriend, well a kind of boyfriend. I don’t really know how serious they are, but still you gotta think about that.”

Fuck. A boyfriend? That explained why she was a little cold at first. Did it really matter? It’s not like they’re married or anything. And what if it was just something casual? Chase had no idea how my heart skyrocketed when she turned around and I saw her face for the first time. It was like a fucking beautiful heart attack in a little black dress. Something inside of me burst to life. It was like an instant addiction to a drug and it was all her, those big doe eyes, her long dark hair. Fuck! It was better than XTC and coke combined. It scared the shit out of me to admit it, but I was hooked. Boyfriend, or no boyfriend, I was going all in. And I could be a pretty damn persistent asshole if needed.

“You're killing me here, man. Just give me the number. Besides, if you don’t, I’ll just get it from Kat.” I raised my eyebrows.

 
Chase rolled his eyes. “Will you forget about Niki, already? I have another idea. Some friends and I are going to a private beach in Malibu for a bonfire tonight. There’ll be plenty of good looking girls with slamming hot bodies. You can come with me.”

Damn. I didn’t care about slamming hot bodies. I could get that anywhere. I had to figure out why this Niki girl had such an effect on me. I finished my reps with the hand weights while contemplating a way to get to see her again.

“What if you called Kat and Niki and invited them to that bonfire thing?” I asked but I had lost Chase’s attention.

“Well, speak of the devil.” Chase pointed towards the elliptical machines with his chin as he alternated forearm curls. Niki and Kat were talking and climbing onto the machines. The moment my eyes saw Niki, my pulse jumped. She looked even hotter than I remembered. Oh shit, another quake on the Richter scale. So it wasn’t just my imagination last night, or the effects of the damn beer.

I never had much faith in love or miracles. For me, love had always been more about physical release than anything else, but when I saw Niki, something was different. My heart skipped a beat and I felt driven to be with her by some unexplainable force. I knew I would pursue her with everything I had, even if she had some loser boyfriend . I had to give it a shot. I couldn’t deny the emotions churning inside and my instincts told me she felt it too.

Chase furrowed his brow. “I’ve never seen them at my gym before.”

I chuckled. “I ‘accidentally’ told Kat last night we were gonna train here today. I’ll go talk to them.”

“What? You’re a sneaky bastard, my friend.”

I headed over to the row of elliptical machines. I didn’t have a game plan. I just knew I had to talk to Niki.

“Well, look who’s here. I can’t believe you two have the energy to work out after last night.”

Kat gave me a big smile, but my eyes were on Niki’s face, checking to see what kind of reaction she would give me.

 
“Hey Jesse,“ Kat chirped, working her arms and legs on the machine. “Gotta work the toxins out of our systems. Sweat them out. Burn off that hangover.

“Good for you. I usually keep going…you know, keep drinking the next day, but that’ll work too.” My eyes burned holes through Niki.
God, stop it! I’m gonna scare her off.

“Did you have a good time last night?” Niki asked.

“Yeah, very cool. You ladies sure know how to party.”

Niki wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. She looked ravishing. “Yeah, last night was fun, except I think I had one too many. Tequila shots hit me hard.” Niki threw me one of her beautiful, full- lipped smiles and my heart did that thing again, a little flip. I didn’t want to offend her by staring at her body, but it was exquisite. Her tight fitting exercise clothes defined every voluptuous bulge and curve.

“Trust me. You’re not alone in that department.” My gaze wandered to Kat and I shot her a crooked smile.

“What,” Kat interrupted. “Are you insinuating I can’t hold my liquor?

“I said no such thing,” I lied. “I’m sure you can drink me under the table any day of the week.”

“Oh god, let’s not go there.” Niki laughed and Kat roll her eyes.

“So listen,” I said. “I gotta get back to my work out. But how about you two meet up with Chase and I down at the beach tonight for a bonfire?”

Niki opened her mouth to speak but Kat answered for her, “Awesome.” She got down from her elliptical machine and placed one hand on my triceps, rubbing it. “It’s gotta be more than beer bottles you lift to get this toned, Jesse. I can’t wait for tonight.”

Kat’s flirtations were becoming an annoyance, like a pesky fly. Just like last night, I hardly had a chance to talk to Niki and I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to pull her long dark hair out of that twitching ponytail and watch it curl down over her bare shoulders.

It was pretty obvious, that Kat wanted to hook up and normally, I would’ve gone all the way with a girl like her. But not last night. Last night it was all Niki on my mind. I couldn’t take my fucking eyes off her. I didn’t want to mess up my chances with Niki by getting drunk and be tempted to do something stupid with her best friend, Kat. A one night stand with her roommate would’ve fucked up any chance of getting closer to Niki. That’s why I called a cab for them. For once, I didn’t want a girl for her tits and ass…who the fuck was I kidding, I always wanted tits and ass. But there was more than that about Niki. Something special. I couldn’t pinpoint it, a kind of gentleness in her eyes. Last night, I knew right then and there, I had to have her. The stupid old cliché “struck by lightning” made perfect sense. The only bump in the road would be to convince her to ditch that damn boyfriend of hers.

“Text me the location later. Is the bonfire here in Santa Monica?” Kat asked.

“No, actually, it’s a private beach at Malibu,” I answered Kat but my eyes focused on Niki.

“Well, whatever, just text me where it’s at,” Kat said.

“Sure. And Niki...”

She stopped her movement on the machine and turned to me. “What?”

“I’ll see you tonight,” I said with a smile. My heart skipped as Niki smiled back.
Shit!
I was like a fucking teenage kid with his first crush.

Without missing a beat, Kat interrupted with non-stop chatter,. “Later Jesse. Text me. Can’t wait. This is going to be awesome. I’m stoked for a bonfire. How about you Niki? I haven’t been to a bonfire in ages, no wait, I think we went last fall with, oh what’s his name, you know...”

I walked away grinning from ear to ear, as Kat’s chatter faded into background noise of the gym.

Niki

“Niki, will you grab my guitar?”

“I’ve already got the cooler and chips. I can’t carry everything.”

Kat sighed, opened the back car door of her Prius and grabbed a tote bag, guitar case and a folding beach chair. We left the car in the paid parking lot near Malibu Cove Beach. The sun streaked the sky orange and red, as we were to meet Jesse, Chase and some other friends for a bonfire. Kat was about to shut the back car door when she shrieked, “Wait, wait, my hoodie. I need it.”

I was already ten steps ahead of her with a light weight, folding, aluminum beach chair stuck under one arm and a small cooler of beer in the other. I rolled my eyes and huffed. “Come on Princess. Let’s go.” My voice betrayed my impatience. Jesse would be there. Despite endless efforts to push him out of my mind, his hard hunky body, with his unruly locks of hair falling in his eyes, kept invading my solace.
What the heck was wrong with me?

Jason had called earlier in the morning. Luckily, I was on the elliptical machine at the gym so I had a good excuse to hit the ignore button. It wasn’t until later, I returned his call. I chastised myself for not missing him while he was away for his grandma’s birthday and my guilt made me nervous about going to the bonfire. Jason would be back in town tonight and although I felt obligated to see him, I had put him off with some lame excuse that I needed to study. Oh, this was not good. I had managed to keep myself in line for years, be a good girl and behave. Now, some hot motocross rider had come along, with “bad boy” written all over him, and I gravitated to him like the mythological Homer drawn to the Siren’s song

 
“Okay, I’m cool now,” Kat said breathlessly, as she caught up to me hoisting her guitar case, tote bag and chair. Stepping off the asphalt parking lot, my feet sunk into the soft sand. It felt good, familiar and filled with promises of warm summer nights at the beach, cuddled close to someone who made your heart flutter, stealing a kiss while draped in the cover of darkness.

We trudged through the deep sand to the attendant and paid our fee for parking and entrance to the private beach area.

“Do you see Jenna or Tanner anywhere?”

“Not yet,” Kat said, “But they’re already here. Jenna texted me they came earlier, around four o’clock, to get one of the fire pits before they’re all taken.”

We scuffed our way past couples on blankets, with iced buckets of beer purchased from the Beach Cafe. An outdoor patio area attached to the restaurant, opened to the stretch of sand that belonged to the private beach. Food and beverages could be purchased at the Beach Cafe, but we brought our own since the prices of alcoholic drinks were a little steep there.

“There they are.” I dropped the small plastic cooler to the ground and waved.

“Where? I can’t carry all of this stuff much longer,” she whined.

“Right over there to our right. Follow me.”

Kat struggled with all of the items slung onto her petite frame. We dragged our feet in the sand, as we made our way to the group with Jenna and Tanner and released our chairs with a clatter, into a pile on the sand. Kat heaved a loud sigh of relief.

“You’re such a wimp, Kat,” I laughed as she let go of her chair and it fell on mine.

“I wasn’t meant to be a pack animal, you know. I have to be careful of my hands. I don’t want to ruin them and not being able to play guitar. That’s my living now.”

“Hey Kat. Hey Niki.” Jenna said as she approached, holding an amber beer bottle in one hand. “Good to see you two hot chicks.” She gave us each a hug. “What’s not good for your hands?”

“Strenuous weight lifting,” Kat said, like we were all idiots for not knowing.

“Come on and set up your chairs by the fire.” Jenna laughed. We had been friends for years and she knew how much of a drama queen Kat could be.

I scanned the figures seated around the fire pit, searching unobtrusively for Jesse’s familiar outline. I unfolded my chair and dug the legs into the sand. Damn, I didn’t see him anywhere. I had hoped he would come. Maybe he got side tracked, or held up at work. God, it was like high school all over again, all giddy hoping to see the hot guy in the halls.

“Kat, do you remember back when I first met you, sophomore year in high school?”

Kat plopped down in her chair next to mine. She opened her guitar case and carefully removed an acoustic guitar, sanded and waxed to a honey-yellow finish. Her slender fingers pulled at the strings, as we talked. “Yeah Nik, how could I forget? You had just come back to California after boarding school. You were so different then.” She glanced back and forth between the guitar head and her fingers, as she tuned the strings.

“I know. I was a mess back then.” I pulled a bottle of Corona from my little blue cooler and popped off the top. “Do you think people can change? I mean change for good. Or will they just go back to their old self someday, given enough time.” I took a long draw on my beer.

“Mmm, maybe. It’s hard to say. Why?” She paused from tuning and looked straight at me with a changed demeanor. “What’s wrong, hun? What’s bothering you?”

When needed, Kat could be serious and drop the dumb blonde act, and each time she did, it reminded me why we were such good friends.

“Spill it.”

“Jason called earlier. He’s on his way back.”

“Oh my God, is this about Jason? You need to let that one go. He is such a drag. There’s more than one fish in the sea and what you need is lobster baby, the best and tastiest, not some gray flatfish.” She giggled and stopped talking long enough to take the beer I opened for her. She noticed that I wasn’t laughing. “Hey, I don’t really mean what I say about Jason...well okay, maybe I do, but it’s just that I want the best for you, Niki. You deserve it.”

“But he’s the kind of guy every girl wants, steady, good job, prospective future. And my dad loves him. The kind of guy I
should
want.” I stared into the fire. “Something inside of me just keeps resisting.”

“You’re resisting for a good reason. Besides, you haven’t dated him for very long. Just tell your dad, you are old enough to pick your own boyfriend.” She turned her focus back to her strings.

“Oh God, he’s already pissed at me for moving out. Now this will send his blood pressure sky high. Plus he doesn’t know about my doubts regarding law school. He doesn’t even know I’ve started classes at the Fashion Institute.”

“Oh shit. Niki, you’re turning into quite a rebel. I love this new side of you.” Her eyes laughed.

“Yeah, he’s going to have a fit when he finds out. He might cut me off all together. Don’t be surprised if you see me down in Hollywood, standing on the street with a cardboard sign next to the homeless people. I’m not cut out for that shit.” I was trying to make light of the situation for the moment, knowing my dad’s hot temper and controlling attitude.

What scared me more than my dad was this desire that was rumbling in the depths of my being. Rumblings, that were awakened the moment I met someone who was a lot like the old me, the uncontrolled, unsanctioned me. I thought I had put away the old rebellions for good, years ago when I came back from boarding school. Now that Pandora’s Box had been opened, I was terrified that once let out, part of me would never be contained again.

“Do you think your dad would really do that? Cut you off financially?”

I just shrugged and took another drink of my beer.

“I doubt it. He still feels guilty for all that happened back when mom died. But, what if my dad was right after all. What if the best thing for me is to eventually marry a safe, boring guy?” I looked down and picked at the damp label on my beer bottle, teasing off shreds and flicking them into the fire.

“What are you talking about Niki? You don’t want a dull life with a lame ass husband.”

I slouched back in my chair exasperated. “No. On the one hand, I feel liberated finally doing what I want, and on the other hand, I feel guilty and nervous going against dad, who is the voice of reason. What am I gonna do Kat? What am I supposed to do?”

Jesse was part of the mix, hell he was the catalyst for all of my inner turmoil, but I stopped short of revealing that to Kat. I could feel the tension rising from the depths of my stomach. Just talking about it, giving a voice to my feelings made them seem larger than life. It was nerve wracking and I knew that my excitement about seeing Jesse added acid to the toxic stew already brewing inside.

Kat stopped strumming the strings on the guitar and reached over to put her arm around me. “Hey, hey now, it’s all gonna be alright. Don’t worry so much about your dad, just sit down and have a heart to heart with him, tell him how you feel and I’m sure he’ll understand. Taking risks is part of life. Part of growing up. Maybe you will fail, but you can’t let your fear stop you from trying. What would your mom say if she were here now giving you advice?”

“Probably what you just said.” I blew out a long breath and stared into the fire that Jenna’s boyfriend had made. The wind blew and the hairs on my arms prickled and stood up.

“Hello ladies.” The low vibrato of a familiar male voice caressed my ears. My pulse quickened and I turned around.

Kat jumped up out of her chair and practically catapulted herself onto Jesse. She squeaked, “Hi Jess,” and gave him a hug, holding her guitar by the neck. Jesse swung a bottle of beer in one hand, looking delicious in the dark, with the golden glow of the bonfire reflecting on his face. Oh, that uncontrollable hair of his. It hung just right; just enough in his eyes to drive me crazy and just enough to get him to run his hand through it. I loved that push. It was a seductive movement that showed the underside of his upper arm, the tender side. Like it said, “I’m vulnerable now”.

 
I prepared myself to stand and give the “hello hug.” Did he know how difficult it would be with wobbly legs? How much control was needed to keep it at a simple “hello hug” and not jump into his arms? This was exactly what stirred my inner fears, the powerful control he had over me. I stood up and greeted him, forcing myself to keep a lot of air between us as I hugged, although secretly, I wanted to run my tongue up his bicep, and drag it across that sexy hot tattoo.

“Are you alone?” Kat asked. “Here, come sit by me, Jesse.”

I feigned acting all casual, but my heart twitched with a pang. I wanted him next to me.

“Kat is gonna play her guitar for us. She has a super voice,” I said.

“Aww,” Kat replied. “Niki is my biggest fan. Actually, I think you’re my only fan, Niki” She looked at me laughing.

“That’s not true. I’ve seen you play gigs and the room is packed,” I continued. “She’s really good, like good enough for American Idol or something. You should audition, Kat. Next time they are in Hollywood. I’m serious.”

Jesse stood behind us, one hand shoved in the pocket of his board shorts and the other holding his beer, watching me. He hadn’t taken Kat’s invitation to sit next to her. I felt the heat of a blush rise to my cheeks. This was awkward. He appeared restless, then motioned to where Chase stood, talking with a circle of friends.

“Chase is over there. I’m gonna go say hi to those guys for a minute.” He smiled a beautiful white smile at me, took a sip of his beer and pierced me with his gaze again. “Be right back,” he said to my eyes. He didn’t break his stare until the last possible moment before he turned. A tingle corkscrewed and twisted it in my stomach, all the way down to the area between my legs. This guy was going to be so much trouble for me.

“Wow,” Kat went back to plucking the guitar strings. “That was really obvious.”

“What?” I bit my lip and looked down at my feet.

“Hell, he nearly fucked you with his eyes just now.” She let out a short breath with her words. “I mean, Jesus Christ Niki, if you didn’t see that you’re blind.”

I cringed inside and stared down at my beer. A mass of blackness invaded my peripheral field of vision, closing it down like the aperture of a camera lens. I squeezed the neck of the bottle. I saw small shards of amber glass shatter in my hand, the heavy part of the bottom piece fell to the sand. I stood there staring through tunnel vision, at sharp pieces lying in the palm of my shaking hand. Slowly, I picked up a pointed piece. I turned over my opposite forearm. The sheen of my smooth skin mesmerized me and invited the glass. I saw the point of the glass drag across its surface. It trailed a path of bright red. I thought quite possibly, I might fly away. Looking down at my feet, crimson teardrops spattered the sand below.