Brian Friel Plays 2 (20 page)

Arkady
is
annoyed
with
his
friend:
he
thinks
his
exchange
with
Pavel
was
too
personal.
Bazarov
is
unaware
of
this.
He
goes
to
the
samovar.

Bazarov
How did your father get that limp?

Arkady
Broken leg when he was young. Badly set.

Bazarov
I like him. He’s a decent man. An astute bird, too. What’s the relationship between him and the blonde woman?

Arkady
Fenichka. She’s his mistress.

Bazarov
Ah. I got a whiff of something there.

Arkady
I suppose that’s one way of putting it.

Bazarov
Have they known each other long?

Arkady
She has a child by him.

Bazarov
Good-looking woman. A nice self-awareness about her. Fenichka.

Arkady
He should marry her.

Bazarov
Who needs marriage? Your father’s a lot more progressive than you, my friend. I suspect – just glancing round the yard – I suspect he’s not the most organized landowner in Russia. But his heart’s in the right place. Tea?

Arkady
I thought you were a bit severe on Uncle Pavel.

Bazarov
God, what a freak that is!

Arkady
It sounded like a personal attack – cliché French – all that stuff.

Bazarov
Have you any idea of the shock it is to walk into a place like this, miles from anywhere, and to be confronted by that – that decaying dandy? And all those archaic theories about ‘civilization’ and a ‘basis of conduct’! He’s a bloody absurdity!

Arkady
He was considered to be the most handsome officer in the army in his day; and the best gymnast.

Bazarov
No, he’s not absurd – he’s grotesque.

Arkady
He was made a captain when he was only twenty-one. Women just threw themselves at him. And he has travelled everywhere and read everything. And he speaks three or four languages. And he dined once with Louis Philippe; and he and the Duke of Wellington corresponded on and off for years.

Bazarov
(
imitating
Pavel
)
Good heavens.

Arkady
And then, when he was in his mid-twenties, he fell in love – one of those passions that consumes totally. I remember hearing the story when I was very young. She
was a princess; married; with a child.

Dunyasha
appears
on
the
veranda
and
shakes
out
a
table-cloth.
Bazarov
pretends
to
think
she
is
waving
at
him
and
waves
back
at
her.
Dunyasha
withdraws
coyly.

Bazarov
That Dunyasha lady has a sporty eye.

Arkady
And she had this radiant golden hair and when she let it down ‘it fell to below her knees’, like Rapunzel in the fairy story. They lived together for a while. Then she got tired of him. Cleared off to Germany, France, somewhere. Just disappeared. He followed her, of course; pursued her frantically for ten years all over Europe. Then he got word that she had died, apparently in some kind of demented state, in some shabby boarding-house in Paris.

Bazarov
Where else.

Arkady
Oh yes, there was another detail.

Bazarov
(
pretending
eagerness
)
What was that?

Arkady
Early in their affair he gave her a ring with a sphinx engraved on the stone. And the family legend has it that she said to him, “Why the sphinx?’

Bazarov
‘You are that sphinx.’

Arkady
That’s right! That’s what he said! And exactly seven weeks after she died a package was delivered to his club. He opened it up and inside –

Bazarov
– was the ring.

Arkady
Yes. That was in 1848, the year Mother died. Father was alone here then, lost without his Maria. He asked Uncle Pavel to join him. And he came. And he has lived here, really like a recluse, ever since, in a sort of profound and perpetual melancholy … I’m very fond of him. I think he’s a good man, Uncle Pavel.

Pause.

Bazarov
You astonish me at times, Arkady. I tell myself that you
are
maturing politically, intellectually, emotionally. And then you come out with the greatest load of romantic hogwash that quite honestly alarms me. Rapunzel – radiant golden hair – passions that consume totally –

Arkady
If you knew Pavel as well as I –

Bazarov
Look at him dispassionately. The shape and character of his entire life was determined by a single, ridiculous passion. And when that ridiculous passion wasn’t reciprocated – what happens? He sinks into a ‘profound and perpetual melancholy’! For the rest of his life! Because of a crazy woman! That’s the behaviour of an imbecile! (
He
is
beginning
to
win
Arkady
over.
)
Let me give you Dr Bazarov’s Principles Concerning the Proper Ordering of the Relationships between Men and Women.

Arkady
I must write these deathless words down.

Bazarov
One. Romantic love is a fiction.

Two. There is nothing at all mysterious between the sexes. The relationship is quite simply physical.

Three. To believe that the relationship should be dressed up in the trappings of chivalry is crazy. The troubadours were all lunatics.

Four. If you fancy a woman, any woman, always, always try to make love to her. If you want to dissipate, dissipate.

Arkady
Poor old Father – I was a bit sharp with him.

Bazarov
And if you can’t make love to that particular woman, so what? Believe Dr Bazarov – there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Arkady
You’re a bastard, Bazarov. You know that?

Bazarov
Admit it. Am I not right?

Arkady
(
thawing
)
A perverse bastard – that’s what you are.

Bazarov
Draw up a list of all the women you’d like to make love to – no commitment, no responsibilities – just for the sheer pleasure of it.

Arkady
Keep your voice down, man.

Bazarov
No complications of ‘love’, romance, none of that rubbish.

Arkady
That’s a game for undergraduates. I’m a graduate – remember?

Bazarov
A quick roll in the hay – great fun – goodbye.

Arkady
All gross pigs, you medicals.

Bazarov
I’ll start you off. Natasha Petrova.

Arkady
Natasha who?

Bazarov
The inconstancy of the man! Your first year in Petersburg – the landlady’s big red-headed daughter – Natasha the Greyhound!

Arkady
Come on, Bazarov. There was nothing at all to that.

Bazarov
You wrote a sonnet to her.

Arkady
I never did!

Bazarov

‘Could I outstrip the beauty of that form

That haunts these dark and wretched hours called life –’

Arkady
All right – all right! That was just a passing –

Bazarov
Exactly. Quick roll – great fun – goodbye. She’s number one. Dunyasha?

Arkady
Dunyasha? – here?

Bazarov
On the list or not?

Arkady
I never really thought about her in that –

Bazarov
A sporty eye, an open heart, a great armful.

Arkady
Now that you mention her, I suppose she –

Bazarov
She’s elected; number two. Anna Sergeyevna?

Arkady
Who’s she?

Bazarov
The woman who’s coming for the party on Monday week.

Arkady
We’ve never seen her.

Bazarov
Who cares?

Arkady
She’s wealthy.

Bazarov
Twenty-nine years of age.

Arkady
A huge estate.

Bazarov
And a widow.

Arkady
Is that important?

Bazarov
The experience, man.

Arkady
Good point. What do you say?

Bazarov
If only for the experience – number three. And her young sister – Katya?

Arkady
I think so.

Bazarov
Vote. Yes or no.

Arkady
Katya? I like Katya. I fancy Katya. Yes.

Bazarov
Elected. Good. Four so far.

Fenichka
appears
on
the
veranda.

Fenichka
Yevgeny Vassilyich!

Bazarov
Hello.

Fenichka
The baby has some kind of a rash on the back of his neck. Would you take a look at it for me?

Bazarov
It would be a pleasure. Where is he?

Fenichka
He’s back here in the kitchen.

Bazarov
I’m on my way. (
to
Arkady
)
My first professional job.

Arkady
I’d be sure to get a second opinion, Fenichka.

Bazarov
(
softly
)
Would you say that Fenichka is a possible number five?

Arkady
Bazarov, you –!

Bazarov
In jest, my friend, in jest.

He
goes
towards
the
veranda
where
Fenichka
is
waiting
for
him.

Arkady
(
calls
)
Even in jest! Bazarov, for God’s sake, man.

Bazarov
turns
at
the
steps
and
smiles
back
at
him.
Then
he
and
Fenichka
go
into
the
house.

Nikolai
Wonderful, Katya. Terrific. Don’t stop. Let’s do it again from the beginning. Splendid. Two-and-three-and –

They
begin
the
piece
again
and
keep
playing
throughout
the
early
part
of
the
scene.

Arkady
rushes
through
the
living-room
and
out
into
the
garden,
carrying
a
dish
of
ice-cream.
He
is
very
elated.

Arkady
(
as
he
passes
behind
Bazarov
)
Get yourself some more ice-cream before it all melts. (
He
leaps
down
the
steps.
)

Bazarov
(
as
Arkady
crosses
before
him
)
I think the dehydrated widow fancies you.

Arkady
Doing well, amn’t I?

Bazarov
Give her a message for me.

Arkady
What?

Bazarov
Tell her I’d like to do my anatomy practical on her.

Arkady
Cut that out, Bazarov.

Bazarov
I’m sure she’d agree.

Arkady
crosses
over
to
the
Princess.

Arkady
Can I get you anything, Princess Olga?

Princess
(
emerging
)
Cat.

Arkady
Sorry?

Princess
I smell cat.

Arkady
Cat?

Princess
Cat-cat-cat. Damn place must be overrun with them. Shoot them all! Shoot them! Shoot them! They’ll overrun you if you don’t. My father told me that.

She
vanishes
behind
the
parasol.
He
goes
to
Anna.

Anna
It’s best to pay no attention to her.

Arkady
She sounds so furious.

Anna
Ignore her. She lives quite contentedly in her own world.

Arkady
There you are. (
He
offers
her
ice-cream.
)
I’m afraid it’s gone a bit soft.

Anna
You have it.

Arkady
I’ve had enough. Go ahead. There’s plenty more. Loads of it. We eat it all the time here. In the summer. God, she’s really a magnificent pianist, Katya.

Anna
She’s very competent; no more than that.

Arkady
And she can sight-read brilliantly. I love that piece. I remember Father and Mother playing it together when I was very small. I’m sure you play, too?

Anna
No.

Arkady
Yes, you do. You’re being modest.

Anna
I don’t, Arkady.

Arkady
I’m sure you’re a brilliant pianist.

Anna
No.

Arkady
I don’t believe you. And I’m told you’re a painter.

She
shakes
her
head.

Yes, you are. Katya told me. She says you’re terrific with water-colours.

Anna
Katerina exaggerates.

Arkady
Bazarov and I are going to visit his parents soon, maybe at the end of next week. I was wondering if we could call on you on our way there?

Anna
We’d be glad to see you.

Arkady
Great! Tomorrow, maybe? Are you sure that’s all right?

Anna
He looks like a painter. Is he artistic?

Arkady
Uncle Pavel?

Anna
Your friend – who believes in nothing.

Arkady
Bazarov? He’s a total philistine! (
He
calls.
)
We’re talking about you!

Bazarov
points
to
his
ears,
points
into
the
living-room:
he
cannot
hear
above
the
music.

(
shouting
)
Anna Sergeyevna wants to know – (
He
gives
up.
)
It doesn’t matter.

Anna
(
beckoning
)
Come and join us.

Arkady
Keep him off politics or he’ll give you a boring lecture. I’m a Nihilist, too, you know; like Bazarov.

Anna
(
watching
Bazarov
approach)
Really?

Arkady
We’ve a very active cell in Petersburg. There aren’t all that many of us but we’re absolutely, totally dedicated. Anna wants to know if you’re artistic!

Anna
Arkady says you’re a philistine.

Arkady
He’s the worst kind of philistine – he’s a scientist.

Bazarov
What is art for?

Arkady
(
to
Anna
)
I told you.

Bazarov
Is it necessary?

Anna’s
attention
has
switched
to
Bazarov.
In
an
attempt
to
hold
her
Arkady
launches
into
his
monologue.
While
he
lectures,
Anna
and
Bazarov
conduct
a
mute
dialogue;
‘Sit
here’
–
‘No,
thanks’
– –
‘I’m
fine’
–
etc.

Arkady
And the answer to that is: what does the word necessary mean in that context? Is that dish necessary? – that tree? – that cloud formation? We’re not exactly in unison on this issue, Bazarov and I. He believes that Nihilism and art are seldom compatible. I don’t. But I believe that at this point in our history and in our sociological development it would be wrong for us now to channel our depleted energies into artistic endeavour, not because there is anything intrinsically wrong, or indeed right, with artistic endeavour – but I believe that whatever energies we can muster now have got to be poured into the primary and enormous task of remaking an entire society and that imperative is not only a social obligation but perhaps even a moral obligation and indeed it is not improbable that the execution of that task may even have elements of … of artistic pursuit … or so it seems to me …

He
tails
off
in
some
confusion,
unsure
that
he
has
made
his
point,
any
point,
unsure
that
he
has
impressed
Anna,
unsure
that
she
has
even
listened
to
him.
Pause.

Princess
(
suddenly
emerging
)
My father always said that
the quickest and most efficient way to break in a difficult young horse was to hit him over the head with a crowbar. (
She
demonstrates.
)
Bang between the ears! Ha-ha. He was right, you know. I’ve done it myself. And it works! It works! It works! (
She
vanishes
again.
)

Pause.

Bazarov
Lively music, isn’t it?

Anna
So you’re not a total philistine.

Bazarov
shrugs.

Bazarov
Silly word.

Arkady
What word?

Bazarov
Philistine.

Arkady
No, it’s not. It’s a precise word.

Anna
Art can at least help us to know and understand people, can’t it?

Bazarov
Living does that. (
He
lays
down
the
ice-cream
dish.
)
That was good.

Anna
Not to the same extent; not in any depth.

Dunyasha
enters
and
picks
up
various
dishes
around
the
lawn.

Bazarov
What is there to understand in depth? All men are similar physically and intellectually. Each has a brain, a spleen, heart, lungs. Intellectually? – darker and lighter shadings, that’s all. We’re like trees in the forest. Ask any botanist. Know one birch, know them all.

Dunyasha
is
about
to
pick
up
the
dish
beside
Anna.

Anna
I’m not finished yet.

Dunyasha
Sorry, miss.

Bazarov
And Dunyasha is the most wholesome and uncomplicated birch-tree in the whole of Russia.

Dunyasha
What does that mean?

Bazarov
It means that you’re beautiful and desirable.

Arkady
Don’t listen to him, Dunyasha. Uncle Pavel says he’s a bletherskite.

Dunyasha
loves
this.
She
give
a
great
whoop
of
laughter.

Dunyasha
He did not, did he? A bletherskite! That’s great! That’s what he is all right! (
She
goes
off
laughing.
)

Bazarov
(
calling
)
I still think you’re beautiful.

Anna
So there is no difference between a stupid person and an intelligent person, between a good person and a bad person?

Bazarov
Of course there is, just as there is a difference between a sick person and a healthy person. The man with tuberculosis has the same
kind
of lungs as you and I but they are in a different condition; and as medicine advances we know how to correct that condition. Moral disease, moral imbalance has different causes – our educational system, religious superstition, heredity, the polluted moral atmosphere our society breathes. But remake society and you eradicate
all
disease.

Anna
Physical and moral?

Bazarov
All.

Anna
(
to
Arkady
)
Does he believe that? (
to
Bazarov
)
That if you reform society –

Bazarov
Remake.

Anna
Then all illness, all evil, all stupidity disappear?

Bazarov
Because in our remade society the words stupid and clever, good and bad, will have lost the meaning you invest them with, will probably come to have no meaning at all. Do they not play polkas in the houses of the gentry?

Anna
(
to
Arkady
)
What do you think?

Arkady
I agree with Bazarov. Bazarov’s right.

Anna
looks
keenly
at
Bazarov.

Anna
(
suddenly
to
Arkady
)
Could I have some more of that ice-cream?

Arkady
(
jumping
to
his
feet,
eager
to
serve
)
Wonderful, isn’t it? I made it myself. Ice-cream, Uncle Pavel?

Pavel
What’s that?

Arkady
Ice-cream – do you want some?

Bazarov
‘Good heavens, no’.

Pavel
Good heavens, no.

Arkady
(
coldly
to
Bazarov
)
What about you?

Bazarov
Not for me.

Arkady
goes
to
the
Princess.

Arkady
Princess, would you like –

She
emerges
momentarily
and
scowls
at
him.

Princess
Would I like what? What would I like?

Arkady
Sorry. (
He
flees,
tripping
on
the
veranda
steps.
)

Anna
He’s such a nice young man.

Bazarov
You have unbalanced him.