Broken (10 page)

I began to feel a little lightheaded.
I wasn't sure if it was the heat, the amount of people in the bar,
or the fact that Garrett was in the same room as me again. I wanted
to run for the back door before he saw me. As I turned to make a
B-line for the kitchen, I heard my name. I stopped dead in my
tracks, “Fucking A,” I said. I turned back towards him.

He was on his feet walking towards me.
“Garrett? What are you doing here?”

“
I’m here to see you. I
ran into Nicole earlier today, and she told me you would be working
tonight.

“
Oh, remind me to thank
her later,” I said.

“
I didn’t like how we left
things at the wedding and I haven’t stopped thinking about you
since. . . .” His head dropped slightly and his voice became
softer. “The Halloween Party. I wanted to make sure you were ok.
You left in such a rush.”

Part of me became angry, and I wasn’t
sure why. “Well, you’ve seen me. I’m fine. Thanks for stopping by.”
As I turned to walk away he grabbed my arm.

“
Don’t run from me, Leila.
I need to talk to you,” he pleaded.

“
It’s too late for
talking. There is nothing left to say so please let me
go.”

I could feel my anger growing inside
me. I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth.
For the past few weeks, I had been sitting in Helen’s office
telling her how I had longed for an opportunity to talk to him
because I needed closure. Now here I was pushing him away. I think
the reality of it all was too much.

“
Is that what you really
want? Just say the word and I will walk out the door.”

“
Garrett, I can’t do this.
Not here, not now. Please, just go.” I freed my arm from his
grip.

His head dropped. “Goodbye Leila.” He
walked past me and out the front door.

I ran to the bathroom, dodging the
crowds of people. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of
my chest. I was furious. As I paced back and forth, I began
rambling to myself. “He has some fucking nerve. Who the fuck does
he think he is? He walked out on me four years ago and thinks he
can come back and act like nothing has happened. He left me when I
needed him the most. I know I hurt him, but I was hurting too. He
expects me to drop everything. He can go fuck himself. And what the
hell is the matter with me? Helen has been preparing me for this.
He was standing right in front of me and I freeze up like a
freaking asshole!”

I couldn’t live like that anymore. I
was trying to get myself to a good place, I had to move forward.
Going back to him would be like taking twenty steps backwards. I
went to the sink and splashed water on my face. I stared at myself
in the mirror. “Come on Leila, pull it together. You can do this,”
I said, trying to convince myself. A group of girls busted through
the door laughing, they gave me a strange look as I stared at
myself. I gave them a small smile and walked out the
door.

I took a deep breath and went back
onto the floor. I hoped my shift would fly by. After that run in
with Garrett, I needed to let off some steam. Hillary and Nicole
were meeting me here at ten, and I wasn’t going to let him ruin my
night.

Even though the place was packed, and
I was busy my entire shift, the night seemed to drag. When ten
o’clock hit, I was thankful and headed over to Hillary and Nicole.
They had been waiting for me at our table since nine.

“
I will be back in a few.
I want to shower and change,” I said looking directly at Hillary. I
turned to Nicole, “You need to come with me.”

“
Me? What did I do,” she
said shocked.

“
Oh, you know exactly what
you did,” I snapped.

Nicole looked at Hillary uneasily
shrugging her shoulders.

As Nicole and I headed toward the back
door I heard Hillary shout, “I’ll have shots waiting for you guys
when you get back.”

I went storming up the stairwell that
led to my apartment refusing to even look at Nicole. I was
livid.

“
So are you going to tell
me why you’re so pissed at me?” Nicole asked.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned
to her. “Really? Really? You honestly have no clue why I am so
pissed!”

“
No! I don’t,” Nicole
snapped back at me.

“
I can’t believe you told
him where I work!”

“
What? Who?”

“
Garrett! That’s who. He
showed up here.”

“
He did what? I’m going to
fucking kill him! He promised me he wouldn’t come here. Oh Christ,
Leila. I’m sorry. I didn’t actually think he would show up here,”
Nicole said with regret in her voice.

“
Yeah, well he did,” I
said continuing up the stairs to my apartment.

“
Fuck, I’m sorry. He told
me he wanted to talk to you. I made him promise me he wouldn’t come
here while you were working. Obviously, he lied. Stupid fucker, I
am going to kill him the next time I see him.”

As she followed me up the stairs her
voice lowered. “So what happened? Did you talk to him?” She said
flinching.

“
No, I didn’t talk to him.
I have nothing to say to him,” I snapped.

“
Oh please don’t give me
that shit. You know you want to talk to him. He is all you think
about. You need to stop lying to yourself.”

I fought with the lock on my door.
“Really? You’re now saying this to me?”

“
I don’t see what the big
deal is. I thought your therapist wanted you to talk to
him.”

I pushed my door open and stormed
through my apartment and into my bedroom taking off my clothes as I
went.

“The big deal is . . . It should be my
choice if I want to talk to him not yours!” I yelled and slammed
the bathroom door behind me.

I turned the shower on and stepped in.
I heard the bathroom door open and shut.

“
Okay, you’re right. I
shouldn’t have told him you were working tonight. I guess I thought
I was trying to help. I should have warned you.”

I poked my head out from the shower
curtain. “I accept your apology, but I’m still pissed at
you.”

“
So . . . How did he
look?” Nicole said trying to stifle her smile.

“
You really have a set of
balls on you don’t you?” I said shutting the shower
curtain.

Nicole laughed, “Bigger than most
men.”

I began to laugh too. I could never
stay mad at her for too long. I knew what she did was not intended
to hurt me. She was trying to help.

I shut the water off to the shower.
“And to answer your question. . . He looked fucking hot,” I
laughed. “Now, can you hand me a towel and get out so I can get
ready?”

I wrapped a towel around me and ran a
brush through my hair. As I entered my bedroom, Nicole was sitting
on the corner of my bed.

“
I picked out some clothes
for you,” Nicole said sheepishly. Lying next to her on my bed was
my favorite denim mini skirt and my black knit top that had sequins
on the front and was cut into a V in the back. For shoes, she chose
my black leather high heel boots. I looked at her and sighed,
“Nicole, don’t worry about it. I know you what you were trying to
do.”

“
I just feel so bad. I
honestly didn’t think he was going to show up.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “It is what
it is. Maybe someday I’ll get the courage to talk to him. He was
the last person I expected to see at Danny’s. It really threw me
for a loop.”

Nicole stood up from my bed. “Alright
that is enough talking about him. Let’s get you ready, Hillary is
waiting for us. You want me to do your hair?”

Forty minutes later I was
finally ready, and we headed back down to Danny’s. Nicole convinced
me to leave my hair down, and she teased it so my waves were crazy.
My stomach was full of nerves. I was hoping and praying Garrett
hadn’t shown back up while we were gone. I don’t think I could
handle another run in with him at this point. I need a few drinks
in me to settle my nerves. I took a deep breath as we walked
through the employee entrance. The DJ had
Let’s Get it Started
by the Black
Eyed Peas blaring. We spotted Hillary on the dance floor. She was
wearing black leather shorts that barely covered her ass, fishnet
stockings, and a black almost see through top with a red, sequin
tank underneath. Her feet were sporting red stilettos that matched
her tank top. She had her hair styled in a high ponytail with a few
tendrils coming down in the back. Nicole grabbed my hand. “Come on
let’s dance.”

I hesitated scanning the room for
Garrett. Hoping to God he wasn’t here. “I need a drink first,” I
shouted over the music. Nicole gave me a look.

Nicole walked out onto the dance floor
to get Hillary and I headed to our table. I flagged Kimberly, one
of the waitresses, down. Kimberly walked over with a big smile on
her face. “Hey ladies how are we doing tonight?

“
Hey Kimberly, we are
doing great!” Hillary replied. “We need a round of shots,” Hillary
said with a smile. “You better make it a double for Leila. She
looks like she needs it.”

“
Yeah, what happened
earlier?” Kimberly said looking directly at me. “I heard some dude
made a scene.”

“
Eh. . . It was nothing.
He’s my ex. Let’s just say he’s an ex for a reason,” I said trying
to make light of the subject.

“
Oh, I know about ex's
drama,” Kimberly said giving me a reassuring smile. “Alright, a
round of shots coming up. Don’t worry, Leila, I’ll make it double
for you,” she said with a wink.

While we waited for our drinks Nicole
filled Hillary in on what had happened earlier with Garrett. I was
half listening to their conversation, but most of my attention was
on the front door. I was hoping that Garrett was not going to walk
through that door. Kimberly returned with our drinks. “Here you go,
Ladies. Danny said he would run a tab for you.”

“
Thanks, Kimberly,” we all
said in unison.

I reached for the shot glass, but
before I could grab it, Nicole put her hand over the top of it.
“Not so fast, promise me you’re going to behave tonight, you’ve
been doing so well. I know seeing Garrett tonight threw you for a
loop, but I really would hate to see you fall back into your old
habits because of one little incident.”

I rolled my eyes and put my right hand
over my heart and raised my left hand. “I promise I will behave
tonight,” I said laughing. Inside, my heart was racing and I was
full of self-doubt. Nicole removed her hand from my shot glass and
down the hatch it went. “Wooooo!” I yelled. “Let’s
dance!”

The three of us were out on the
crowded dance floor having a great time. I was definitely feeling a
buzz. We were dancing with a few different guys around us, and I
noticed Justin by the bar. He was a regular at Danny’s. He and I
had hooked up quite a few times over the years. He was one of the
only guys I had remained friendly with. With Justin, I knew exactly
what I was getting. Neither of us wanted a relationship, so a night
of meaningless sex every few months was exactly what we
did.

Justin was almost six feet
tall and had dirty blonde hair that he just let hang everywhere. He
was average build and was always wearing a black leather biker
jacket, white t-shirt, jeans and white sneakers. The very first
night I met him I told him he was a Jax Teller look-a-like from
Sons of Anarchy. This for me was a very, very good thing. Tonight
was no exception. He sauntered onto the dance floor and by the look
in his eyes, I knew he wanted to do more than just dance. I waved
him over, and I started grinding on him.
Tonight I’m Lovin You
was blasting
as he moved his hands up and down my body, raising my skirt a
little bit at a time. Things definitely were beginning to heat up
between us. The music was pumping and the alcohol was quickly going
to my head. I could feel myself losing control. I closed my eyes as
he started to kiss my neck and ear.

I felt a sudden jerk. I quickly opened
my eyes and saw Justin on the floor and Garrett standing over him.
“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Garrett yelled.

I pushed him away from Justin. “What
the fuck are you doing?”

“
You’re just going to let
him touch you like that, like some cheap whore?” He yelled back at
me with rage in his voice.

Justin stepped behind me. I felt him
forcefully pushing up against my back. “What the fuck is your
problem?” He screamed at Garrett as he breathed heavily on my
neck.

Getting between these two was not some
place I wanted to be. But I knew Danny would call the cops in a
second if a punch was thrown. He did not tolerate any sort of
violence in his bar.

I quickly turned to Justin, putting my
hands on his face I stared directly into his eyes, “Justin, please
let this go. I don’t want to see you get in a fight over
me.”

He closed his eyes tightly and tried
to control his breathing. As he opened his eyes “Leila, I’m not
going to let some asshole come in here and call you a whore. It’s
not going to fucking happen.”