Broken (14 page)

He paused again searching for the
right words. “Leila, I am only here for another six months or so.
I’m here training for a new position. Within the next four months I
should be getting my orders and find out where I will be stationed
next.”

“
Oh. . .” I said sadly
dropping my head. “I thought you were home for good. I didn’t
realize this was just a temporary stop.”

“
Hey,” he said lifting my
chin gently with his fingers. “I’m not going anywhere right now.
It’s just me and you tonight,” he whispered as his lips caressed my
lips pulling me back down onto the bed.

Chapter
1
1

I woke the next morning to find myself
alone. My heart sank, was last night just a dream? I jumped out of
bed racing through my apartment looking for him. There was no sign
of him, he was gone. My heart was in my throat, my eyes filling
with tears.

I began to replay last night in my
head, and a wave of sadness fell through my body and then the
reality set in that he was gone. I had lost him again. I began to
gag. I ran into the bathroom and dry heaved into the toilet. I was
so fucking stupid to think he was going to walk back into my life
and everything was going to be as it was. I had fucked everything
up four years ago, and I have fucked it up again.

I walked into my kitchen and saw the
bottle of vodka and two shot glasses that had been there since last
night.

“
Fuck it,” I
said.

I filled each of the shot glasses with
the vodka and slung each shot down. I filled the glasses again and
downed the next two. By the time I hit my sixth shot, I was seeing
double and my anger was brewing. I stumbled into my closet to get
my box of memories. I had shoved it so far back in my closet that I
began throwing all the shoes that were in my way across my room.
Once I recovered the box I laid on my bed curling myself up into a
ball. I opened the box and began pulling the pictures out one by
one.

Once the tears started I couldn’t stop
them. I was crying uncontrollably to the point where I couldn’t
catch my breath. I sat up in my bed and felt the room begin to
spin. I closed my eyes hoping this would help, but it didn’t. I lay
back down and felt my stomach begin to churn. I knew this feeling
and shot out of my bed running into the bathroom. I barely made it
to the toilet when I started to puke my brains out. My throat was
raw from puking, and my eyes were burning from crying so hard. I
sat up against my tub waiting for the feeling of nausea to go away.
Once my stomach began to settle I reached over into the tub and
turned the water on. Still sitting on the floor, I let the room
fill up with steam.

Slowly, I stood up using the toilet as
support. I leaned over the sink reaching for my toothbrush,
globbing on the toothpaste in hopes of getting the taste of vomit
out of my mouth. Once I was done scrubbing my teeth, I took my
t-shirt off and cautiously stepped into the shower.

I stood under the water letting it
rain down over me. Thoughts of Garrett and I came rushing back to
me, his touch, his smell, the way he kissed me. I was fighting back
the tears when the nausea came back. I sat myself down in the tub
pulling my knees toward my chest rocking myself back and forth
while the water pounded down on me.

The next thing I remember is hearing
my name being shouted.

“
Leila! Leila! Jesus
Christ!”

I opened my eyes trying to focus on
who was talking to me. As my vision came clearer, I realized it was
Garrett.

“
Garrett?”

“
Yeah, Babe.”

I felt myself being lifted up.I was
shivering from my shower that at some point had turned ice
cold.

“
Jesus, you’re fucking
freezing. How long have you been in there?” He said wrapping a
towel around me.

“
You came back,” I said
softly.

“
Came back? Babe, I never
left. I went to get us coffee and donuts. I ran into my uncle who
talked my ear off for almost an hour. What the hell were you
doing?”

“
I thought you left me. I
woke up and you were gone,” I said sadly.

“
Are you
drunk?”

“
No, I’m pretty sure I
puked it all out.”

“
Oh Babe, what did I do to
you?” He said pushing my wet hair out of my face.

“
I could say the same
thing to you,” I replied looking down at the floor.

“
Leila, look at me,” he
lifted my chin with his fingers. “I’m here. I’m not
leaving.”

I felt my heart skip a beat at his
words.

“
I’m sorry,” I
said.

“
Sorry? For
what?”

“
For everything. .
.”

He cut me off before I could say
anything else. Taking both of his hands he lifted my face and
kissed me. His tongue gently caressed my tongue. My heart began to
pound, and I felt my breaths become more rapid. Even though I was
still chilled to the bone, I let go of my towel and let it fall to
the floor. His kiss became more intense as he pulled me against his
body. I began to feel that warm tingling feeling again.

I reached for the bottom of his shirt
and pulled it over his head. His tattoos were stunning. I hadn’t
really noticed them last night. Now seeing them in the light they
truly were a work of art. I gently touched his chest and began
tracing them with my fingers.

“
I woke up and you were
gone,” I said. “I thought I dreamt you last night.”

He put his hands on my hips and pulled
me close to him again. “I’m not a dream, Babe. I’m here in the
flesh.”

“
Why, yes you are,” I said
in a seductive tone. I was rubbing my hands all over his chest and
stomach taking in each and every one of his tattoos.

“
They are all so
beautiful,” I said in awe. As I moved my hand to his rib cage my
hand stopped and I took a ragged breath. “Oh. . . .”

He looked at me and then closed his
eyes. He took a deep breath. “That was my first. . . It’s my
favorite.”

I took my index and middle
finger and began tracing it. It was the identical heart he made
from barbed wire for me on our first Valentine’s Day. Inside the
heart said
Leila
.
He took my hand and put it on his chest, over his heart.

“
I may have been gone, but
you were always in my heart.”

He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
His face felt rough from the stubble on his face. His lips moved to
my mouth and then down to my breasts. He softly and tenderly sucked
and nibbled on my nipples. My head fell backward with pleasure. He
slowly moved me back until I reached the sink. He gripped my thighs
and lifted my body up, so I was sitting on the sink. I reached down
and unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down briskly, needing to
feel him inside of me. I was getting wet just thinking about it. I
wrapped my legs around him as he guided himself into me. Moaning, I
draped my arms around his neck and started moving my hips. He
leaned his head towards me and rested his chin on my
shoulder.

“
I love you,” he whispered
in my ear.

“
I love you
too.”

He continued thrusting his hips
pushing himself deep inside me. He began to grip my thighs tighter.
I could tell he was getting close and I felt myself building. I dug
my nails into his back as we exploded. His warm burst of come
filled me inside. I could have made love to him all day long. He
filled the emptiness that was in my heart.

“
Do you mind if I take a
quick shower? I didn’t take one before I went for
coffee.”

“
Be my guest, but I’m not
sure if there is any hot water,” I said smiling.

“
I’ll make it a quick
one,” he said winking at me.

While he was in the shower I
frantically tried to pick up all the pictures that were scattered
all over my room before he could see them. Unfortunately, for me, I
wasn’t quick enough.

“
What’s all this?” He
asked.

“
Oh, it’s just some
pictures,” I said nonchalantly trying to close the box
quickly.

“
Here you forgot one,” he
said bending over to pick it up.

He flipped the picture over to see it
was one of us. He had a puzzled look on his face.

“
Let me see what’s in the
box,” he said stepping towards me.

I look a step backwards. “I told you,
it’s nothing.”

“
Well if it’s nothing then
you will let me see it,” he said reaching for the box.

I held onto it for dear life, but he
was too strong. He pulled it from my hands, and it fell to the
floor with everything falling out.

“
Leila? Is this what I
think it is?” He said picking up the barbed wire heart.

Nodding my head, I felt my face become
flushed.

“
You still have this?” His
voice in complete shock.

I didn’t know how to respond. He was
either going to think this was incredibly sweet or that I am a
complete psycho. I just nodded my head.

He put his arms out. “Come
here.”

I practically ran into his arms and
wrapped my arms around him. I couldn’t bear to let him
go.

“
I can’t believe you still
have this,” he said while kissing the top of my head.

Keeping my head pressed up against his
chest I said, “I have everything, every picture, letter, card and
of course the heart. I couldn’t throw them away they were all I had
left of you.”

He walked me over to the bed and
instructed, “Come lay down with me for a while. You’ve had a rough
morning.”

We lay in complete silence. It was so
calming to feel the rhythm of his breathing. I think at one point I
may have dozed off because his question startled me.

“
So, what are you doing
today?” He asked curiously.

“
I have to go to my
mom’s,” I sighed.

“
You say that like it is a
bad thing?” He replied.

“
Well, it’s Thanksgiving .
. . Do you remember how my mother was about holidays? Hey, I have
an idea. Why don’t you come with me?” I said pulling myself up on
my forearms and resting on his chest.

“
Leila. . . I'm not sure
if that is such a good idea. Plus, I have no clothes. I would have
to go home and change. I live forty-five minutes from
here.”

“
I don’t have to be at my
mom’s until five that gives us plenty of time to take a ride to
your place. I would love to see it. Please don’t make me go to
Mom’s alone. You know she drives me crazy.” I pleaded giving him a
pouty lip and puppy dog eyes.

“
Christ, you make it
really hard to say no. You look so damn cute with that sad look on
your face and of course that towel you are in isn’t helping either.
Come here,” he said seductively kissing me passionately.

We headed to Garrett’s place about an
hour and a half later. I was looking forward to spending time with
him talking about everything we had missed about each other for the
past few years. I told him how I had just graduated in May with an
Art degree. How I’d been working with Katie since I first started
college. He told me stories about the guys in his platoon and how
much he misses them. His stories were far more exciting than mine
were.

Before I knew it we were pulling into
his apartment complex. It was a huge brick building that looked
like an old abandoned warehouse. He lived on the second floor. Once
we reached his door he turned to me. “It’s a mess, so don’t judge.”
He smiled.

He took my hand and led me through the
door. It was very industrial looking with an open plan layout. The
walls were exposed brick, the windows were huge almost floor to
ceiling and there were hardwood floors throughout.

“
I love it,” I said in awe
as I turned around in a circle taking it all in.

“
Thanks, I’ve been here
for a couple of months now. I’m sub-letting right now. It’s hard to
find a place with a short-term lease. Come on follow me, I’ll show
you my bedroom.” He winked.

“
Ummm . . . I think we’re
only going to have enough time for you to change and grab some
clothes for tomorrow,” I said smiling.

“
Tomorrow?” He asked
puzzled.

“
Yeah, you don’t think I
am letting you go home tonight, do you?” I laughed.

“
Alright give me like ten
minutes.” He smiled shaking his head.

He headed to his closet, and I started
looking around his room. I could definitely tell a man lived here.
Not much décor. I walk to his dresser and picked up a picture. It’s
a picture of me from my seventeenth birthday party. . .
.

He had been so secretive
the past few days. He was giving me all sorts of excuses why he
couldn’t come over and see me. I would call him, and my calls would
go straight to voicemail. I thought he was cheating on me. I was
beginning to get really nervous.

He called me and told me
to get ready because we were going out. My stomach dropped. I told
him I wasn’t feeling well, and I wanted to stay home tonight. I
wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to break-up with me. It
was absolutely ridiculous to think that, he could’ve dumped me over
the phone. I finally conceded and told him I would be ready in
twenty minutes.