Broken (Broken #1) (7 page)

He closes the door and leans
against it. “Yep. I’m not missing this. I should take
pictures.”

“
Why the hell
would you want pictures?” I gape at him in disbelief.

“
Because then
we’ll be able to show our son or daughter the moment we found out
about them.”

“
Son or
daughter?” I choke and sit on the toilet. Once that’s done I rest
the stick on the side of the back and wash my hands. “What do you
mean son or daughter?”

He shrugs, “Well, what else
does a pregnancy lead to?”

My jaw hits the floor, “I don’t
want it to lead to anything.”

He freezes, his eyes on the
stick as the pee starts slowly moving across the white paper behind
the little window. “You don’t want kids?”

“
Not right
now,” I cry and run my damp fingers through my hair. “It’s… we
can’t afford a kid. We’re both in University. I don’t want to give
up my education.” How did this even happen? “I haven’t missed a
pill. Not one. I haven’t been sick, I haven’t had any kind of
medication that can mess with it and I haven’t suddenly changed my
eating habits. I don’t get it.”

“
We’ll figure
it out,” he looks way too happy about this. Way too happy. He picks
up the stick after a few more moments and compares it to the back
of the box that I dropped on my way in. His smile widens,
“Positive.”

Sob.

His arms wrap around me, “It’ll
be fine. We’ll figure it out, I promise. I love you so much
Gwenny.”

This only makes me sob harder.
I don’t want a baby right now. I want to finish school and get
married and all of the other stuff that comes with growing up.

“
We’re still
kids,” I sniff and wipe my nose on a piece of tissue. “We need to
deal with this, I can’t be more than a couple of weeks. I’ve only
missed one period.”

His eyes darken to an intensity
I’ve never seen before, I wish I hadn’t blurted that so callously.
“Deal with it? What do you mean deal with it?”

I tread cautiously, my words
soft and hopefully convincing, “The doctor can have it solved in no
time. It’s just a minor problem and then as soon as I finish
University and we have our own house and jobs we can try again.
Obviously we’ll be married then too.”

He stares at me, his mouth
hanging open in shock.

I continue, “It’s what’s best,
Caleb.”

Pain flits through his
beautiful browns, his hands fist on the counter in front of
him.

“
It sucks, if
it’s… look,” I sigh, hating that I’ve put this look on his face.
“We’ll talk about it later. I have to get to class.”

I throw my bag over my shoulder
and lean down to touch my lips to his unresponsive ones. He doesn’t
look at me and of course this worries me, but I have a test in
twenty minutes. I need to go.

On the way to class I meet up
with my closest friend Sasha. I admire her hair choice of the day,
it hangs in loose, blonde waves to her shoulders and a black clip
holds her fringe out of her eyes. “Hey,” she grins and links her
arm through mine. “How’s tricks?”

“
Same old,” I
lie but she doesn’t see through it. “I’m so not looking forward to
this test. Have you got a placement sorted yet?”

“
Me too and
nope. We aren’t all as fortunate or as smart as you,” she jokes and
elbows me in the ribs playfully. “How’s the husband?”

“
He’s fine,”
I lie again and again she doesn’t see through it. “He’s got a
placement at Anderson’s firm. He’ll finish his remaining year
there.”

She shakes her head, “I’m so
jealous.”

“
Of?”

“
Your life,
it’s so organised and you know what you’re doing. Not to mention
the fact you have the best guy in the world and he worships
you.”

HA! How wrong she is right now.
Still I reassure her as a good friend does, “You’ll get sorted
babe. You’ll see, it’ll all work out in the end.”

“
Hey Tommy!”
She calls to our classmate. He races over to us, breaks our link
and shoves himself in the middle. His arms curl around our necks.
“How are two of the most beautiful females on campus this
morning?”

“
Fabulous,”
Sasha responds and smiles up at him. “Where’s your woman?” He met a
very nice girl called Maci at my birthday party two months ago and
they’ve been dating steadily ever since. I’m happy for him, they’re
a good match.

“
Over there,”
he points to a group heading into the building. “Hey sexy!” His
girlfriend rolls her eyes but I see her smile and know all is well.
“Got to go if I want to get me a little somethin’, somethin’,
before my next lecture.”

“
Your next
lecture is in three hours,” I laugh, knowing my friend’s schedules
by heart. That’s just how organised I am.

“
Exactly.
It’s just not long enough,” he races away and waves over his
shoulder.

“
That lucky,
lucky girl,” Sasha sighs wistfully and pushes her way past a group
of people loitering by the door. “Come on, we’re nearly
late.”

The test went well and even
though my mind was on other things I have no doubts that I’ve
passed. I’ve studied my arse off for this test. If I fail it’s not
a huge deal but it counts towards a percentage of my overall grade
that I’d like to keep.

My culinary course is going
great, mostly because there are only twelve of us in the class.
It’s my English Literacy class that has me constantly studying. I’m
not sure why I took this as an extra, it seemed like a good idea at
the time and I do love to write.

Now, to solve my current
problem. I tell Sasha I’m going home for lunch when in reality I’m
going to call my doctor to book an appointment and then I’m going
home.

As expected Caleb is inside,
he’s sat in the living room drinking tea and eating biscuits whilst
thumbing through his phone.

“
Hey,” I
announce and his head tips back so he can see me.

“
Hey,” he
responds, his eyes dead and his easy smile non-existent. This makes
my heart hurt.

“
The test
went well,” I sit on the arm of the chair and run my fingers
through his hair.

He manages to smile but it’s
too sad to be put in the happy smile category. “That’s great news
babe. Proud of you.”

“
I also
booked an appointment at the doctor’s for tomorrow,” I say this
cautiously, not wanting to sadden him further. He needs to see this
from my point.

His eyes darken dangerously,
I’ve never seen him look so… angry. “Just do what you have to do
but don’t expect me there if you do it.”

What? “Are you serious?”

His eyes go back to his phone,
“Yep.”

“
I’m doing
this alone?”

“
Uh-huh,” he
sips his drink, his face firm and unrelenting.

My heart breaks, “You’re not
going to support me? Hold my hand?”

“
No.”

“
Well… okay
then,” I struggle to say because I’m fighting back tears that
seemed to be lodged in my throat. “I’m going upstairs.”

“
Whatever,”
he says. Seemingly unaffected by my obvious distress. He’s always
supported me, always. With everything and he hates to see me cry.
Whenever I cry he tells me it breaks his heart.

Once we argued so badly he
ended up throwing a plate against the wall, it scared me. I thought
he was leaving me. I cried. I remember how much pain I felt when he
said he couldn’t deal with this anymore and threw his plate of food
across the kitchen.

It wasn’t long after we got
engaged that this happened. My mum isn’t being supportive in the
slightest. She thinks I’m a young and naïve girl with her head in
the clouds. She’ll see just how happy and stable we are when I
finish university and get married and all is well.

He was pissed off because his
parents refused to give him his trust fund even though he’s doing
amazing in university. I told him it’d all be okay and he just
looked at me and shouted, “You don’t get it, you’ll never get
it.”

He was angry at them, not at me
and it’s the first time he’s ever raised his voice so it scared the
hell out of me. Angry Caleb is not a good Caleb.

I remember how much pain I felt
when he said he couldn’t deal with this anymore and threw his plate
of food across the kitchen. What couldn’t he deal with anymore? His
parents? Me? Us? The house? The lack of money? He never did tell
me, he just told me to drop it which was totally unlike him.

I started crying and instantly
he sobered. He stopped being angry and just held me, begging me not
to cry. Telling me it breaks his heart when I cry.

And now, he sees my anguish but
does nothing. Screw him.

I stomp up the stairs, my eyes
burning even though my tears are spilling over. I try not to think
about it too much, he’ll forgive me I know he will. At least… I
hope he will. Now is not the right time for a baby.

I’m shocked when I hear him
follow me up the stairs, clearly he has something on his mind that
wants out. Maybe we can resolve this.

I sit on the bed and wait for
him to reach me. When he does he stands in the doorframe just
staring at me, his eyes blank. I can’t read him at all.

“
Why are you
doing this?” He asks suddenly, his brows scrunching.

“
Because it’s
the wrong time. I’d like it if you came with me,” I say, my sorrow
clear.

“
No.” He
bites out through clenched teeth. “I won’t.”

“
Babe…”

“
If you do
this…” He stops speaking and straightens abruptly while his fingers
run through his hair. He looks devastated. It hurts me deep. Too
deep.

“
Yes?” I
prompt, not wanting him to finish his sentence but knowing he
should.

“
I’ll never
forgive you,” my chest constricts at his words. “Never.”

“
Caleb,” I
gasp, my hand going to my chest, as if trying to shield it from his
emotional blows. “You don’t mean that.”

“
It’s ours,”
he shouts. “It’s half mine. I should get to decide.”

“
We’re not
ready,” I shout back. “I want to finish my education and buy a
house first.”

“
We’ll figure
it out,” he says, his voice almost pleading. “Together we’ll figure
it out. I’ll ask my parents to help with childcare.”

I laugh coldly, “You mean the
parents that disowned you for staying with me? Why would they
help?”

He winces, “They’ll help. I’ll
just go into work for my dad.”

“
The reason
you left home in the first place was to avoid working with your
dad, how is this a better option? You’ll end up resenting us,” I
reach for him but he steps away. “We have a lot of student loans to
pay off and the first year of work neither of us will be bringing
in much money. They’re just placements. There’s no guarantee
they’ll keep us and they definitely won’t keep me if I’m
pregnant.”

“
We’ll make
it work. You’ll see. It’ll all be fine.”

“
You’re
living in a dream world. We have no money, no family. It’s just
us.” I say this firmly.

“
I’ll drop
out, I’ll go back to University in a couple of years,” he grips my
arms. “We’ll make it work.”

“
It’ll be too
hard.”

“
I want this
baby. I want a baby with you.”

I scoff. “You don’t think I
want that? Of course I do. Just not now!”

“
So you’ve
made up your mind then?” He spits, his face a mask of anger and
hurt. “Without even listening to what I want?”

“
What about
what I want? What I need?”

“
Fine,” he
snarls, I’ve never seen him so angry, he’s even angrier than the
time he smashed the plate. He rages past me, his body tense and
trembling. My heart stops when I see him packing his things into a
large suitcase that he’s just pulled from under the bed.

“
W…what are
you doing Caleb?” My heavy heart stops entirely when he looks at me
and replies, “I can’t stay here.”

“
Why?” Panic
at full throttle. I think I’m dying. My body hurts.

“
I can’t
watch you kill our baby.” That stings.

I blink in horror, “You’re
leaving me?”

“
Yes.” My
chest tingles and my stomach heaves.

“
Is this an
ultimatum?” I breathe, not believing my ears or eyes. My tears
spill over, I can’t control them. He doesn’t respond. “Caleb,
please don’t do this.”

He freezes, his hands gripping
the open case that lays on the bed.

“
Please,” I
sob and grab his arm. “Please Caleb. Don’t make me go through this
alone.”

“
Keep it.” He
demands, his body still tense.

“
Why can’t
you just wait?” I half shout half sob. “Why can’t you just fucking
wait?”

“
You’re
murdering my child.”

I jerk away from him, his words
burned on my brain. “Don’t see it that way. Please.”

“
How can I
see it any other way?”

No. He can’t do this. He
can’t.

But he is.

I watch him pack up his bags,
his face set and his steps sure. He leaves, taking the car and all
night he doesn’t come back.

******

I sit in the doctor’s office
and explain my situation, relieved when she understands. She gives
me a test just to be sure, when it comes out positive she books me
an appointment at the clinic. I have two choices of termination,
one where they put me to sleep and get it all out, or one where
they give me a tablet and I sit for six hours waiting for it to
leave my body.