Broken (Broken #1) (10 page)

 
I can feel the smile cross my
lips as the mirage of thoughts flit through my sleepy mind. Today’s
my wedding day. I’m marrying the man I’m truly madly in love with.
I’m pregnant with his child. I’m going to be a mother.

Mrs Guinevere
Weston.  

Life is so
perfect.

With a happy
sigh I stretch out my arms and legs, the wonderful relaxing feeling
is interrupted when I feel a dampness with my toes, near Caleb’s
knees. Slowly I sit up. I instinctively know something is wrong.
The bed feels cooler, there is a sweet sickly smell that hits the
back of my throat and aggravates the nausea I already
feel.

Caleb’s
still, sleeping form lies next to me. Looking at him he looks
peaceful, but I look more closely and my throat catches. I
can’t see his chest rise and fall, no wait there’s a twitch in his
arm. I let out a sigh, of course I’m being silly. I touch his
arm to wake him and tell him about my stupid thoughts. I touch his
hand; it’s cold, not like ice, but cold like we have been for a
walk down the beach in winter and need to wrap our hands round a
cup of hot chocolate to warm them. His skin has an almost
pearlescent look to it. It’s too pale.

“
Caleb,” I
whisper and push myself off his chest. “Caleb?” I notice his arms
by his sides rather than holding me which is odd for him. “Caleb,”
I say louder this time and push his chest.

He doesn’t stir. That’s odd.
Maybe he’s still sick.

“
Caleb!” I
say even louder and tap his cheek. His head rolls to the side, he
doesn’t make a noise. My heart hits my ribs and sharp tingles
spread through my chest. “Caleb!” I shake him violently this time
and switch on the lamp.

“
No.” I
whisper and place my hand an inch from his mouth whilst staring at
his chest. This isn’t happening. He’s not… “CALEB!” I grab both of
his shoulders and shake him vigorously. “CALEB! Please. This isn’t
funny!” His eyelids don’t even flutter. Oh my god. He’s not
breathing.

I place my trembling fingers to
his neck.

“
NO!” I
scream, my eyes burning and my lungs constricting. “Baby, please,
wake up now.” No. No. No.

I kick the blanket from the bed
and cry out at the mess on the sheets. A choked sob sticks in my
throat and my body trembles as I try to comprehend what I’m
seeing.

I pull at his
body, he still feels warm but he is a dead weight in my arms. No
this can’t be happening. You can’t be dead. We have to get married
today, you have to see your child be born. I’m going to be all
alone.

“Wake up!” I
scream, ignoring the pain it brings to my throat.

Ambulance I
need to phone an ambulance but I’m torn I don’t want to leave him
but I need to get my phone from my bag down stairs my legs feel
leaden as I stumble down the stairs. It’s going to be fine they
will help him, they can bring him back I dial the number my fingers
quick and clumsy on the small buttons.

“He’s not
breathing I can’t wake him,” I sob to the woman on the phone but
she isn’t understanding me, she tells me to stop take a breath
think about what I want to say and repeat slowly.

“
What
happened?” She’s asking me. What do I tell her? I tell her whatever
it is I’m seeing, my address and his name. She’s still talking but
I can’t hear her, I need to do something.

He’s… no… he’s not dead.
“You’re not dead! Wake up. Wake up right now. This isn’t funny.” I
breathe into his mouth while pinching his nose. I throw my phone
and start doing chest compressions. Come on baby. Come on. “Please
Caleb. Please.”

His lifeless face doesn’t
twitch, my heart shatters. He’s not dead. He’ll wake up and start
laughing.

Minutes pass before I hear
sirens and rush down stairs to open the door. I don’t wait for them
to come in before I run upstairs and continue forcing him to
breathe.

I peel open and eyelid, a
glassy lifeless pupil stares back at me, the iris bigger than I’ve
ever seen it. My lips tremble and a cry escapes me.

My body burns. “Please Caleb,
don’t leave me!”

The paramedics come inside and
I’m pulled out of the way. I watch them work on him, and I’m
escorted to the side as they begin CPR and defibrillation. I watch
on helplessly as they pass electric currents through his heart.
They work for what seems like only seconds instead of the minutes
that actually pass.

I’m so sorry a woman says as
they call his death.

They call it.

They just call it.

“
NO! Keep
going!” I yell at them but no one listens. The police arrive and
one of them tries to take me out of the room. “He wouldn’t leave
me! He’s fine! People just don’t die in their sleep!”

“
Please
Miss,” the officer says in my ear, trying to get me to move. “I’m
so sorry.”

“
There’s
nothing we can do, he’s gone.”

“
No,” I fall
to my knees as they surround the bed. “No! Please. Don’t stop
trying. You can’t stop.”

I can’t hear anything they say
after this. I see the men start to lift him.

“
No,” I cry
and throw myself towards his body. “No you can’t take
him.”

The tears that trickled begin
to cascade down my face I can’t stop them and I don’t want
to. 

It’s not fair why him why?
There are others out there with less to live for why couldn’t they
have died instead.

“
We’ll let
you have a few minutes sweetheart.” I don’t know who says this and
I don’t care.

A few minutes? I was meant to
have a lifetime with this man, we were going to grow old
together.

Everything is
so surreal and the fast erratic thoughts on why this is happening
soon slow and turn to an empty numbness. My whole world feels like
it has just collapsed. Nothing seems to matter apart from the fact
he has gone.

Nothing.

I’m left
looking over his body I have heard people describe a dead body as a
shell of the person they once knew, this isn’t even a shell of the
man I’ve lost. Gone is the warmth of his almost chocolate gaze and
the vibrancy this body once held. Even in his sleep he was
captivating, now all that essence has left, he’s left and I’m left
with nothing.

I look at the most beautiful
man I’ve ever seen as he’s placed on a stretcher and covered with a
sheet. They cover his face. They can’t cover his face he’s not
dead. Why won’t they listen?

They keep asking me questions.
Who my family and friends are, who his family and friends are? I
can’t answer. I can’t do anything but sob.

“
Where are
they taking him?”

I’m surrounded by people,
police officers and people I don’t know as I tear out of my house.
I have no sense of time or place, my eyes are on his lifeless
body.

“
Stop!” I
scream but they keep going.

Someone grabs me around the
waist and holds me tight. Tommy’s here, when did he get here?

“
We should
sedate her,” someone says. “She’s pregnant, be careful.”

“
Why are they
taking him? They need to help him!”

“
Hey,” Tommy
says softly in my ear and pulls me towards an ambulance.

I try to pull free but my
energy levels are non-existent. I’m non-existent. This isn’t
happening to me, it’s happening to somebody else.

Twenty three year old males
just don’t die in their sleep the night before their wedding.

“
What
happened, does anybody know?” Tommy asks whoever is
here.

“
They think
it may have been a heart attack but they won’t know for sure until
they get him to the hospital.”

Numb overcomes me, numb. I turn
in Tommy’s arms and cling to him, my body shaking like a leaf, my
mouth emitting noises I’ve never made before.

He’s not gone. He’s not.
They’ll get him to the hospital and they’ll see.

Everything goes black, I’m not
sure how or why, I just drift.

I wake up in an unfamiliar bed.
I’m in the hospital. Why am I here?

“
Hey you,”
Tommy says and I see Sasha beside him.

I open my mouth but nothing
comes out. Tears spill and the sobs that plagued my body once
already, come back immediately. Sasha rushes to my side and
envelopes me in her arms. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers and I feel
her own tears fall onto my hair.

No. “No. No. He’s not… they
were supposed to save him.”

“
I know,” she
sniffs, still rocking me and stroking my hair. “They couldn’t do
anything. I’m sorry.”

“
Why? What
happened?”

Tommy and Sasha look at each
other, “They won’t tell us anything. His parents got here as
quickly as they could and they won’t permit you to know
anything.”

“
I’m his
fiancée!” I shriek. “We’re getting married today.”

“
The nurse
told us all she knows is that his heart failed and it couldn’t be
prevented.”

“
I have to
see him,” I shout and climb from the bed. “Why am I even here?”
They’re about to answer but I cut them off and push the door open,
“It doesn’t matter. Where is he?” There’s a nurse doing her rounds,
I stop her before she has a chance to enter the room by mine.
“Where is he? I need to see him.”

She blinks in shock, “You
shouldn’t be out of bed.”

“
Please, I
need to see Caleb, where’s Caleb?”

“
Maybe I
should…” she glances around nervously but I place myself in her
line of sight. “I can’t help you I’m sorry.”

“
No, you
don’t understand,” I huff, my eyes burning. “I have to see
him!”

“
What’s going
on?” A doctor in white shirt and black trousers walks over to us
from the nurses’ station.

I immediately turn to him,
“Please, I need to find Caleb. Caleb Weston.”

He glances at the nurse and
then at Tommy and Sasha who are close behind me. Letting out a
breath I see him relent, “Come with me.”

I want to hug him, but I don’t.
We follow him down a few hallways before he stops and speaks to a
porter. “Please escort these three to the morgue.”

A choked cry escapes me as I
realise just how real this is. No.

Tommy takes my arm as Sasha
takes the other. My legs are unsteady but I manage to follow the
porter.

The hallways are long and they
all look the same, it takes a while but we finally get there and
when we do I’m not happy to see his parents stood outside in the
hall. Caleb’s mum looks dishevelled and there are tears falling
from her eyes.

“
What are
they doing here?” I screech, my anger rising. “They disowned him.”
I point at his parents. “You disowned him. You didn’t want
him!”

“
Is there a
problem?” the doctor who they were speaking to asks and glances
down at my stomach.

“
She’s not
family,” Caleb’s father spits, his narrowed eyes shooting daggers
at me.

“
She’s his
pregnant fiancée,” Sasha snarls and holds up my hand to show the
doctor the ring that sits there.

“
So she says,
I’ve never met this woman in my life,” his mother hisses, her hate
for me clear.

“
Because they
disowned him,” I shout and plead with the doctor with my eyes.
“Please. I just need to see him.”

“
She was the
one he was brought in with, she was with him when he died,” Tommy
explains, his voice calm and collected. “She just wants to know how
he died and to see him for a few minutes.”

He’s not dead, he isn’t. This
is all a bad dream, it’s a joke. “Please. Let me just have a few
minutes with him.”

His mother steps closer, “If
she even steps foot in that room, I will sue.”

My mouth drops open, “How can
you be so evil?”

“
At least
tell us how he died,” Tommy pleads. “It’s not right, a perfectly
healthy twenty three year old just dying in his sleep without
warning.”

It’s then Nathan steps through
the heavy doors leading to the morgue, “Heart failure. Caleb was
born with a hole in his heart, we thought it was fixed… it wasn’t.
Until the autopsy is complete we won’t know for sure but if there
were any other factors leading to his death, which is unlikely,
I’ll notify you personally.” I notice his parents look at him,
their scowls falter. They almost look as confused as I feel. “Let
her have a few minutes with him father. He loved her, he chose her
and he’d never forgive you if you didn’t.”

“
Two minutes.
That’s all.”

I’m immediately led into the
room, I expected him to be in one of those drawers that you see on
TV, but he’s not. He’s on his own in a large room, a sheet pulled
over his waist, his arms by his side. He looks so beautiful, so
peaceful. He doesn’t look dead on first glance.

I reach forward, realising it’s
just me and the doctor. My hand touches his cheek. He’s so
cold.

“
Wake up,” I
beg quietly, praying for his chest to start moving and his eyes to
flicker open. I want to see his sleepy smile. I want him to grab me
and drag me under the sheet with him to warm him up. “Please,
Caleb.”

Still no movement. This isn’t
right. He wouldn’t leave me. He wouldn’t.

I stand and stare at him,
burning his image on my brain, relishing the feel of his skin
beneath my fingers. None of it makes a difference. He’s gone.

“
One day I’m
going to kiss you in front of a real sunset on a beach full of
white sand. That’s what you promised me. Why would you make that
promise?” I want to be angry, I want to shout at him but I can’t.
I’m just so tired, so lost right now. “Why didn’t you tell me?
Maybe I could have stopped this.” My body aches to wrap itself
around him and hold him until there is no longer a breath in my
body. I don’t, I just stare at him. Stare at the shell that was
once the love of my life.