Broken (Broken #1) (8 page)

I opt for option one.

My appointment is in four
weeks. They give you a gap to change your mind. The gap is too
long, I want it done now.

In class Sasha notices that
something is wrong but I don’t tell her. I don’t tell anyone. Right
now I can’t. Nobody needs to know about this. Nobody.

Even I don’t want to know about
it.

When I make it home I curl up
in bed and cry. He’s not home. Why isn’t he home?

Can I honestly do this to him?
Can I honestly look him in the eye and tell him I’m going to murder
his child? Because that’s what it is. I’m giving him no choice and
it’s half of him.

I roll onto my back and close
my eyes, letting my woes sink into me like an anchor into the sea.
My hand rests on my flat belly, I try to imagine what it would be
like, what life would be like to be pregnant. To carry Caleb’s baby
in my stomach for nine months, to bring him or her into the
world.

What would he or she look
like?

Would they have his hair? His
eyes?

I let out a long breath coupled
with a sob and turn back on my side. Curling into the foetal
position I weep. My sorrows and sadness too heavy. My conscience
too plagued with indecision.

“
I can’t do
it,” I say out loud to nobody. I can’t do it.

Who am I kidding? There’s no
way I can kill it. No way.

But if I don’t my university
experience will be ruined. No more drinking, not that I drink much
anyway, no more just going out to the cinema or to a club. I’ll be
studying my arse off and then coming home to diapers poop and
vomit.

One of us will have to quit
school because there’s no way we’ll be able to afford childcare.
Maybe there’s something to help students in this situation.

I’m lost so deeply in my
thoughts I don’t hear the door open, so when someone touches my
shoulder and the bed dips, I scream bloody murder and fall from the
bed.

“
Christ,”
he’s laughing. Laughing? How can he laugh right now? What an
arsehole. “Are you okay?

Oh my god. Caleb’s here, “I’m
fine.” I climb back onto the bed, nursing my wounded pride. “You’re
here.”

His laughter stops and his
smile vanishes, “Yeah. I should never have left, I hate it when you
cry. It breaks my heart. I’m so sorry.” His arms close around me
and soon I’m on his lap. His heat sinking into me through his warm
embrace.

I welcome it.

“
Forgive me?”
he whispers and kisses my neck. I bury my face in his chest,
relieved that he’s here. “I should have handled that better. It’s
just…” He sighs long and heavy.

“
What?”

“
Do you ever
feel like it doesn’t matter what we do or who we are, we never
really leave anything behind?”

And again, “What?”

He pulls back and rests against
the headboard after propping the pillows up behind him. “Kids are
our only legacy.”

“
I don’t know
what you mean.”

He rubs his face with his hands
and pulls me to his chest, “I mean, I want a child with you. This
child, right now. Sure the timing isn’t great but it’s a situation
we’ll deal with together.” Warm hands grip mine and his eyes
implore me to see his side of things. “Please Gwenny. Don’t destroy
it.”

“
Okay,” I
sigh and my head falls forward. “If this is what you want then
okay. We’ll do this.”

He beams and pulls me to him.
“Thanks Gwenny. Honestly, it’ll be great.”

I press my lips to his and
murmur against them, “I believe you.”

Something flashes in his eyes,
something that makes me uneasy. I can’t be certain what it is I
just know I won’t forget it.

“
Thank you,”
he whispers and presses his lips to mine. “I love you.”

“
Me
too.”

“
Hey,” he
gives me a squeeze and frowns. “If you’re going to say it make sure
you say it properly.”

Eye roll. “I love you too.”

He releases me and climbs from
the bed, “I’m going to make you some tea and whatever else you
want.”

“
Okay,” I
smile sweetly at him and watch him leave the room with a heavy
heart.

He reappears seconds later, “I
almost forgot.” Crawling onto the bed, he lifts my shirt over my
naval and kisses just above the waistband of my trousers. “Love you
baby Weston.” Oh god. I just melted.

“
I’m sure he
loves you too.”

He kisses my naval once more,
covers me up and rushes down the stairs.

I definitely just melted.

Chapter
Five

“
You’re six
weeks and three days.” She puts a circle around the foetus so we
can see it clearer. “This flicker is its heartbeat, this will be
his head eventually.” I stare mesmerised at the screen.

I hear a choke next to me and
turn my head towards Caleb.

“
Are you
crying?” I ask him, my lips twitching.

“
No,” he
pouts, his hand holding tight to mine and his eyes on the
screen.

The room is dark, only lit by
the black and green glow of the screen. The dim shine catches a
tear trail on his cheek, I wipe at it with my thumb and my smile
widens.

“
Soppy.”

“
I’m not
crying,” he protests with a smile. “I have something in my
eye.”

“
Both of
them?” The scan lady remarks and I burst into a fit of
giggles.

Caleb leans forward and presses
his lips against mine, “Love you Gwenny.”

“
Love you
too,” I whisper back and deepen the kiss for a moment.

“
I’ll just
print off some pictures,” the woman says, giving us some
privacy.

I look into the eyes of my
fiancé and run my fingers through his longish hair. “Are you sure
about this Caleb?”

A panicked gaze comes to mine,
“Aren’t you?”

“
I am, that’s
why I’m asking you, because if you back out now I’ll be on my
own.”

His shoulders sag, his thumb
strokes my cheek as his beautiful brown eyes meet mine, “I’ll never
leave you on your own Gwenny. Never. I want this more than you
know.”

What’s that supposed to mean?
Why do I feel like something isn’t right about this? Of course I’m
happy, what expectant mother isn’t when she finally wraps her head
around it? It’s just… I can’t help but feel like Caleb is hiding
something.

I’m probably being stupid.
Maybe it’s my extra hormones making me read into something that
isn’t there.

“
Your mum is
going to kill me,” Caleb says, piercing my erratic thoughts and
making them pop into a million more.

“
Oh shit.” I
never even thought of that. “We just won’t tell her until I start
to show.”

“
I’m sure
she’ll get over it,” I can tell he doesn’t even believe his own
words any more than I do.

My mum, though I love her, has
always provided me with what I need but I’ve never been more than
an inconvenience to her. When she finds out about this she’ll never
talk to me again. Part of me doesn’t care. The child in me still
wishes for her approval and is still eager to make her proud.

“
You’ve got
me,” Caleb’s reassuring words do just that. He’s right, I have got
him and my friends. They are all I need.

“
Forever,” I
murmur, my eyes on my sparkly ring.

“
For all of
eternity,” his lips slant over mine but quickly pull back when the
woman walks back in with our scan pictures.

When we get home Caleb frames
it and puts it on the wall in the hallway, “This will be our
timeline. Our wedding photo will be in the middle. Tomorrow I’m
going to put our first ever picture right here.”

“
You’re such
a romantic,” I laugh and kiss his stubble. “I’ll put dinner
on.”

“
Brilliant,
chicken wraps?”

I nod and walk away, my hand
pressed against my belly.

“
Hey, almost
forgot,” I’m spun in a second and Caleb is down on his knees,
pulling my top over my midriff. He presses his hands on my naval
and then kisses in between them. “Love you baby Weston.”

I just melted again. He has
that effect on me.

******

I cling to the seat, my
forehead on my arms. Caleb ties my hair back from my face and rubs
slow circles on my back. “Finished?”

Hurl.

“
I guess
not,” he says around a yawn and wipes my forehead and then my mouth
with a cool cloth. That feels nice. “Poor baby.”

“
I hate this.
You’ve done this,” I joke and sit back on the cool tiled floor.
“Ugh. If I’m never sick again it’ll be too soon.”

“
It’s a good
sign, he’s growing well.” Caleb is insistent that it’s a boy. He
really, really wants a boy but he’ll be happy still if we get a
girl. “Caleb Weston,” he says with his hand on my tum. Has a nice
ring to it.”

I laugh and slap his arm before
climbing to my feet, “That’s your name.”

“
Exactly,”
his arms snake around my waist as I quickly brush my teeth, eager
to get the putrid taste of vomit from my mouth and rid my teeth of
that gritty feeling. “Fourteen weeks and three days. Can we start
telling people now?”

“
Don’t give
me that,” I say, my mouth full of minty foam. Spit. “I know you’ve
told everyone already. Even Sasha knows though she’s pretending she
doesn’t.”

He has the decency to look
ashamed, “I couldn’t help it.”

“
You’re
incorrigible,” I snort and rinse out my mouth, squirming when
Caleb’s hand cups my sex through my pyjama shorts. Shiver. “Right
now? Really? My stomach is still doing somersaults.”

“
Let me take
your mind off it,” he breathes against my neck and pushes his
hardened length against my arse cheek.

A banging sounds at the door
downstairs, both of our heads whip around. “Who’s that? It’s like,”
I check my watch. “Six fifteen.”

“
No idea,
sounds urgent,” Caleb says and releases me. “Stay here.”

I nod and follow him into the
room and then the hall. I wait at the top of the stairs and listen
as Caleb opens the door.

I don’t recognize the male
voice that starts speaking over Caleb’s but I soon know who it is
when Caleb asks him, “What do you want Nathan?”

“
I can’t let
you do this,” Nathan responds, his voice deep and low. Do
what?

I descend the stairs, my
curiosity increasing tenfold with every step when their voices
become hushed. Did Caleb just say, “I love her, I swear?” Because I
can’t be certain.

When I make it to the last step
two sets of matching eyes come to me. Nathan is a couple of inches
taller than Caleb and although they look alike, Nathan’s face is
much sharper than Caleb’s and there isn’t a hint of stubble. He’s
wearing a suit, he looks good but why’s he wearing a suit at ten at
night? And gloves. What’s up with the black leather gloves? It’s
warm out.

His eyes scan my body, a dark
look on his face. My hand goes to my belly almost protectively.

“
I told you
to stay upstairs,” Caleb hisses with a frown.

“
I’m Gwen,” I
say to Nathan and hold out my hand. “It’s nice to meet
you.”

Nathan looks at my hand for a
few seconds before turning back to his brother. “Are you
crazy?”

“
At least say
hello to my
pregnant
fiancée, Nathan. Where’re your manners?” Caleb bites out
through clenched teeth. Why did he say pregnant like
that?

Nathan looks at me again but
his eyes are focused on my stomach, “I can’t believe you.”

“
Nathan,”
Caleb warns, his hands raised and his eyes wide. Nathan’s scowl is
scary, even I’m shrinking fast. “Please.” Nathan seems to think
about whatever the hell they’re talking about for a moment. His
eyes narrow so I’m guessing the conclusion he’s drawn isn’t a good
one.

It happens so fast, too fast,
Nathan’s fist strikes out and connects with Caleb’s cheekbone.
Caleb flies backwards, tripping on a shoe before falling to his
arse. My hand goes to my mouth in shock.

“
You’ll do
well to get rid of that before it’s too late,” Nathan says pointing
at my stomach. I watch him whip his glove off and start squirting
some kind of sterilising fluid onto his hand. He turns and leaves,
still rubbing the lotion around his fingers with his gloved hand.
That’s weird. What an arsehole.

“
Are you
okay?” I ignore Nathan’s comment, as much as I want to scratch his
eyes out right now Caleb needs me.

He rolls his jaw and touches
his cheekbone with a finger, we both wince. I can already see it
swelling and have no doubts it’s painful to touch. “I’ll get some
ice and you’re going to tell me what the hell just happened.”

“
My brother’s
a dickhead, that’s what just happened,” he snaps and pulls his arm
free of my hands before stomping into the kitchen. “Fuck, he’s got
a good right hook.”

I stand in the doorway and
watch him grab a bag of frozen peas from the freezer before
wrapping them in a tea towel and placing them on his face. “Is that
all you’re going to say on the matter then?”

“
I don’t want
to talk about it,” he sighs and rests his head back. “I’m sorry you
had to see that.”

“
Me too.
Especially since I don’t know what I’ve seen exactly.”

He shakes his head, “He’s
pissed that I left him to deal with our parents and even more
pissed that I got someone pregnant before marriage. My brother is
weird.”