Broken (Broken #1) (32 page)

He smiles at me, his cheekbones
turning slightly pink. “Thank you.”

I wave him off, “Don’t thank
me.”

“
I should go
and check on the decorators,” his tongue teases his lower lip.
“We’ll go out to eat, the stench of paint is irritating
me.”

I smile fondly, “Everything
irritates you.”

“
Of course,”
he grins and touches my cheek with his thumb, I shy away instantly
but he doesn’t seem offended. “Get ready.”

“
Kay,” I
scuff my sock on the ground, praying that his intense gaze lingers
on me no longer.

“
Fifteen
minutes, Guinevere,” he says my name quietly, like a gentle caress
on my skin, before leaving the room completely.

Caleb’s eyes catch me from my
bedside table, I stare at him for a long time, imagining his eyes
glaring at me with accusation. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, desperate
for him to believe that it was nothing more than a moment of
weakness and Nathan is nothing more than a friend. He doesn’t
believe me, I can feel it.

But it’s true.

Whoa, dizzy. Strange.

Must be my low blood pressure,
my eyes just turned black for a moment there. I need to stop
stressing myself out over little things, it’s not healthy. Caleb
isn’t here, he’s not coming back.

Even though I know I’ll never
let him go, I need to stop trying to run all of my decisions past
him first. He’s not here to answer me and I’m twisting what his
answers would be in my mind to make myself feel worse.

I deserve it, I deserve to feel
worse.

We enjoy a quiet dinner at a
restaurant out of town, Nathan doesn’t say much and neither do I.
There’s not much to say.

I spend the entire time looking
at everything but him, this is really awkward so I’m relieved when
my phone rings.

“
Hello?” I
answer, turning away from Nathan to give myself some semblance of
privacy.

“
I messed
up,” it’s my mum. What? “I should never have sent you away I was
just so angry and disappointed.”

“
Okay,” I
move away from Nathan, his hand comes out and snags my wrist.
Placing my hand over the speaker I turn to him, “I’ll be one
minute.”

“
Who is it?”
He asks, making me quirk a brow.

I walk away without responding
and step into the cold air.

“
Where are
you?” She asks on a sniff.

“
I’ve
travelled south for the winter,” I respond and clear my throat.
“I’m staying with a friend.”

She lets out a long breath, “I
want you to come home.”

“
Home?”

“
Yeah, I want
to be there for my grandbaby and my first baby. I know… I screwed
up. But I want to make it up to you.”

I shift nervously on the spot,
placing my finger in my other ear to stop the wind from distorting
my ability to hear her. “Why the change of heart?”

“
I’ve had
some time to calm down and think about it.”

“
Well, I’m
glad you’ve come around,” I say and look through the window,
noticing Nathan’s eyes on me. “I’ll have to let you know if I’m
coming home, I’m… it’s complicated.”

“
Can I at
least come and see you?”

Can she? Do I want her to?

She is my mum. Gah, this is so
frustrating. “Sure. Just let me sort a few things first.”

“
You’re, umm…
not staying in a hostel or something are you?”

I smile a little, “No, Mum, I
swear. I’m in a very good and safe place with a friend.”

She sighs with relief, “I’m
sorry for what I said. How are you doing? With everything. I should
have been there for you.”

“
Yeah,” I
say, my eyes burning. “You should have.”

I hear her sniff and my heart
pounds a heavy rhythm in my chest. “I’ll be there, I swear. Call
me. I miss you.”

“
You too.” I
hang up and chew on my lip for a moment, my phone clutched tightly
in my hand.

After taking a steady breath I
walk back into the restaurant and make my way over to Nathan.

As soon as I get close enough
he asks, “Problem?”

“
No,” I lie,
this is a problem in a sense. How exactly do I deal with this? “It
was my mum.”

“
The one who
disowned you?”

“
The one and
only,” I slide into my seat and rest my chin on my hand. “She said
she’s sorry, she was angry and disappointed and never should have
reacted that way.”

He scoffs and runs his fingers
through his hair, “I don’t care much for your mother.”

“
She wants me
to go home,” my voice is a low whisper, but he hears me. I know
this because his body shifts and his tongue swipes his lower
lip.

He clears his throat and
casually moves his straw around his glass, “Are you going?”

“
Not without
speaking to you first,” I watch his straw swirl through the clear
liquid.

His face drops, “Would you like
to go?”

Would I? “It’d get me out of
your way, you could go back to your life without having to worry
about me.”

His face softens, “I’ll always
worry about you.”

I look him directly in the
eyes, “Do you want me to go?”

Blowing out a breath, he runs
his fingers through his hair again, “No. Honestly I don’t.”

“
I thought
you liked your privacy. Your space.”

“
And so far
you’ve respected both, I enjoy your company. It is your choice but
think about it before you make any decisions,” he waves his hand to
signal for the waitress. She comes over and clears our plates,
asking if everything was okay with our meal. We both nod and climb
from the table. Nathan takes my wrist in his hand and guides me
outside. I’m not sure exactly where we are, I just know that it
looks like we’re in the middle of nowhere.

“
She wants to
visit,” I blurt as we walk towards the car.

His brow rises, “Does she know
who you’re staying with?”

“
No, I didn’t
tell her,” I chew on my lip for a moment, looking out of the
curving green and yellow hills that touch the horizon. “Can I ask
you something?” He helps me into the car and rushes around to his
side.

“
Sure.”

Should I?

Yes. “Why’d you hit Caleb?”

“
What?” Oh,
like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

He looks around for a moment,
clearly uncomfortable. I repeat my question, “Why did you hit Caleb
that night? And then tell me to get rid of the baby?”

“
It’s a long
story.”

“
It’s a long
drive,” Why’s he avoiding this?

He lets out a long breath of
frustration, “It’s not important, it happened and I’m ashamed of
myself for acting so barbarically.”

“
It is
important,” I respond, feeling defensive. “You just walked in,
cracked him one and left.”

“
You’ve never
mentioned it before,” he grits out and starts the car. “Why
now?”

That’s a good question,
“Because I’ve been too busy dealing with my grief to think about
anything else. I’d like to know.”

“
My brother
betrayed my trust, I asked him to do something for me and instead
he chose to let me down after swearing to me it would be done,” he
responds cryptically and now I want to know even more. “That’s
it.”

“
What did he
swear to you he’d do?”

“
Honestly,
Guinevere, I really don’t want to talk about this,” he looks
agitated, I feel agitated.

“
You don’t
trust me?”

His face hardens, “I don’t
trust anyone.”

Ouch. “Kay.”

“
Don’t take
it personally,” he sighs like I’m being ridiculous by feeling a
little bit sad over this. “Trust is earned over time, not given
freely on request.”

My mouth drops open, “And I
haven’t earned your trust yet?” What an arsehole.

“
Just drop it
would you?” He looks at me briefly. “Whatever happened between
Caleb and I is my business. It’s not for you to worry
about.”

I glare at his profile when he
faces the road once more, my arms folded across the top of my
belly, “What about what you said to me?”

“
What are you
talking about now?”

“
You told me
to get rid of the baby whilst I still had the chance. Why would you
say that?”

He doesn’t respond, he stares
blankly ahead, his hands gripping the wheel tightly.

“
Nathan.” I
persist, wanting him to explain.

“
I apologize
for saying that.”

“
Clearly I’ve
forgiven you already. But I’d like to know why you said
it.”

Like before, he doesn’t
respond, I rest my forehead on the glass. Out of the corner of my
eye I see him look at me as if wanting to say something, he shakes
his head and looks back at the road; his lips a thin white line and
his jaw tense. “I have a meeting with my solicitor tomorrow in the
city, I’ll be away until the weekend.”

“
Don’t do
that,” I snap, feeling my anger rise. “Every single time we have a
heated discussion you take off. Maybe I should just leave, then you
won’t have to keep doing that every few days.”

“
That’s not
why I’m leaving.”

“
I’m calling
bullshit.”

“
Don’t swear,
it’s not attractive.”

I laugh humourlessly,
“Seriously? I’m not trying to be attractive.”

“
Just don’t
swear and don’t leave. It’s not why I’m leaving.”

Eye roll. “I’m always the
reason you leave. It makes me feel guilty knowing I’m in your house
and you feel forced to stay elsewhere.”

“
You’re being
ridiculous.”

Am I? It doesn’t feel like it.
“Whatever.”

“
I’m
serious,” he remarks, stopping the car so he can look at me. “That
house… it holds some painful memories for me. That’s why I leave on
occasion.”

I’m sceptical. “Why do these
memories only resurface when you seem to be pissed at me?”

“
Stop
swearing.”

“
Sorry,” I
say this flippantly and continue on as before, “I don’t get it,
Nathan. Do you want me to leave? Tell me honestly, I don’t
want…”

“
Stop reading
into things that aren’t there,” he cuts me off; his tone is louder
than it was a moment ago, it startles me.

“
Like you can
talk,” I mumble and instantly regret it.

Pain flashes through his
features before vanishing behind a hardened mask. “Is there
something you’d like to say to me?”

My chest tingles and my eyes
widen slightly, I look away and shake my head.

“
Really? It
sure seems like there is.”

I shake my head again.

“
Go on, I’m
waiting.”

I chew on the inside of my
cheek. Should I say something? After what happened when he rubbed
my lower back things have been good between us but also awkward.
Should I? Yes. “You tried to kiss me.” My heart starts pounding
against my chest.

“
It won’t
happen again.”

“
I know
that,” this is so awkward. “Why did it happen in the first
place?”

He shrugs, “I felt like
it.”

“
That’s the
most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” I scoff, almost slamming
back into my seat as he starts up the car once more.

We drive in silence for a
while, he has to give me more than that. He can’t just not explain
this to me.

When we pull into the driveway
I ask again, I can’t help myself. He climbs out of the car,
slamming the door with a bang, not even bothering to look at me or
even help me out like he usually does.

“
Nathan.” I
say sharply and grab his arm. “Don’t walk away from me.”

“
What do you
want me to say?” His brown eyes narrow on my face. “You’re like a
dog with a bone, just drop it. I’ve apologised. Let it
go.”

“
I’d like to
understand.”

“
Fine,” he
laughs once. “You honestly want to know?” I nod slowly. “I was
aroused, you were available. Nothing more and nothing
less.”

A loud breath leaves me and I
release his arm, “Seriously?”

“
Yes,” he
starts to turn. “I won’t do it again, you can be sure of
that.”

“
I would
never do it with you anyway,” I clip and stroll past him. “Do you
have any idea how wrong that is? I’m pregnant with your brother’s
child. Yet you’d try and use me because you’re horny? That’s
unforgiveable.”

His eyes darken, he lowers his
face to my ear, his presence dominating and a little frightening,
“I don’t want your forgiveness.” He moves back slightly. “You
mistake yourself if you think I look at you as anything more than
my brother’s whore.”

My anger gets the better of me,
it’s fuelled by hurt at his words. My hand connects with his cheek,
stinging my palm and instantly turning one side of his face a deep
shade of pink.

“
You struck
me,” he whispers, his face a mask of shock.

A tear falls from me eye, “You
struck me first.” Pushing the door open I head inside and race up
the stairs, wanting to put as much distance between, Nathan and I
as possible.

I hate him.

He doesn’t follow me which I’m
grateful for. So I get to cry in peace. How did this day turn out
to be so bad?