Broken Memphis (27 page)

"You'll have to be gentle," she moans.

"Maybe we shouldn't."

Balking, Bebe looks up at me like I'm insane. "You can't make me this wet then say no. No one likes a fucking tease, Pax."

I laugh, relaxing for the first time in a day. "You are wet," I murmur, sliding my cock along the hot slit of her pussy. "I don't know if I can do gentle."

"You can do whatever the fuck you want. You made me love you, didn't you?"

Smiling, I press the head of my cock inside her. "You need me."

"Yes," she whispers, closing her eyes as I take her inch by inch.

"I can't survive without you," I admit, leaning down to kiss her lips.

Bebe holds my gaze, saying nothing. She understands my need for her is almost too much to bear. I see in her eyes how scared she is by her love for me too. The way our bodies move together feels so easy though. We don't need to think. The chemistry is there. While our hearts crave more reassurance, a long life together will give us everything we need.

52

Bebe

Birthday Wishes Come True

By Christmas, Little Memphis settles into a festive amnesia. The sheriff's body is in the ground while his replacement quietly drops the search for Trigger, Zombie, and plenty of others in the club.

Darby called yesterday to tell me Flora and Orion weren't returning to Little Memphis now that Perri was dead. My friend rests in a silver urn on the shelf in Darby's library. One day, her kids will decide what they want to do with the ashes. Too young to understand where she went, they only know Darby will take care of them now. I think of them on Christmas, imagining their first holiday without their mom.

Tallulah bounces a lot on Christmas. She loves her dolls and introduces each one to Folgers, who looks like he might think they're chew toys. Pax claims he'll borrow Tallulah's new reading toy so he can brush up on his skills. I tell him he can also borrow the vibrator Shay bought me for Christmas. A sighing Pax is clearly disappointed by my horniness on such a holy day.

We meet Ford, Shay, Donnie, and Devin for dinner at Apron Strings. I'm surprised a restaurant is open on the holiday, but Pax points out how a lot of people are alone at Christmas. I remember my holidays before Pax were quiet, rather sad affairs.

Christmas night arrives early when Tallulah crashes just before eight. I tuck her into bed then hurry to Pax. He keeps claiming sex doesn't belong on Christmas. Grabbing my vibrator, I walk downstairs to satisfy myself and ask if he wants to watch. Pax shakes off his aversion to mixing the holiday and sex.

A few days later, Tallulah begins bouncing about her upcoming fourth birthday. Pax is just as giddy. He wants to take her to Chuck E. Cheese. I'd think the memory of the Zombie confrontation would ruin the place. Pax explains how Chuck E. Cheese was also the first place he made Tallulah laugh so hard she snorted. A snort-laughing daughter trumps murderous freak.

The day before Tallulah's birthday, Ginger arrives with a gift. I'm surprised to see her, and she grins at my gawking face.

"Sabine isn't around to play auntie, so here's a gift she would give."

"You don't have to."

"She's dead because of me," she says, reminding me of Pax's confession about Zombie. "Trigger did the deed and he paid the price, but I still want to look out for you. You might as well let me since it's not like you can stop me."

Taking the gift, I run my fingers over the wrapping paper. "Are you still at the hotel?"

"No. We've worked out a deal with Joker to handle the West Side for the club. The girls and I moved into a few locations. I might have killed my big bad, but that doesn't mean I'm not still paranoid. Here's my card," she says, handing me an actual business card. "The email is mine. The phone is for a nail salon. They'll forward messages to me, if I don't respond to emails."

I study the card then look at her. "I didn't ask Pax, but I want to know. Did Trigger suffer like he made Sabine suffer?"

"Yeah," Ginger says, smiling slightly. "Difference was he was an evil fuck who had it coming and she was a chick trying to live her life. No amount of torture was ever going to make things even. Still, he screamed like a bitch, if that helps."

I hold her gaze. "It does."

When Ginger steps back, I sense she's edgy in the suburban normalcy around her.

"Wolfman will be out soon. Did Pax tell you that?"

Nodding, I reflexively glance around as if Howie might be in the bushes.

"When he gets out, he'll come for you and especially Tallulah. He's a bitter fuck. As someone who likes to hold a grudge, I know my kind when I see them. He'll never let you go."

"I know."

"And you know Pax will deal with it."

"I'd rather you do it."

Frowning, Ginger steps closer. "Why?"

"Pax is Tallulah's father now. He and I will be married and having more kids soon. We're making a family. One day, Tallulah will find out about Howie, and I don't want Pax to be the one who kills him. I don't want to give her a stupid teenage reason to be upset with her real dad because he took out an asshole who would have ruined her."

Shivering in the winter day, I continue, "Maybe she won't care, but I was an idiot as a teenager and blamed my mom for not having a normal life. I don't want Tallulah blaming Pax for Howie's death. I know him, and he won't be able to lie well enough for her not to know he's lying. Someone else has to do it."

Ginger grins. "I don't care if it makes me a sick fucker, but I love killing bad men. All bad people really, but especially men like Wolfman and his brother."

"I'll consider it your wedding gift to us."

Ginger's smile grows. "Oh, I'm getting you a blender or some shit too. I've always wanted to buy something off a wedding registry. Feels so middle class."

We share a laugh, but I know she doesn't feel safe in this quiet neighborhood. For her, the rough streets are home. For me, I've never been happier to be surrounded by blah.

Tallulah enjoys her birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. Darby, Lupe, Amanda, and Shay bring their kids. Jenn calls to say she'll feel better by the wedding, so she better be a bridesmaid. She even claims to look great in lime green.

Pax runs around with the kids, playing games and finding ways to annoy Ford. Shay and I laugh at the men, who eventually wrestle around on the ground. Tallulah cheers on her daddy who loses the fight but wins the farting contest later.

Her blood father calls the next day while I'm washing dishes. I almost don't recognize his voice, but the memories quickly come crashing down on me.

"The kid is four today, right?" he says.

"Yesterday. What do you want?"

"I'm getting out of prison real soon. I want to see my daughter and make sure she's safe."

I open my mouth to tear him a new one.
Safe? After he fucking sold her off to Taz!
Rather than school him on his shitty existence, I devise a better plan.

"I think you suck, but she needs to know her father."

Howie is taken back by my quick agreement. During his silence, I glance outside where Pax and Tallulah explore the newly fallen snow. Folgers follows close behind them, sniffing everything.

"Good," Howie says. "I have big plans for my little princess."

"Call me when you're out, and we'll set up a place to meet."

"What about your thug boyfriend?"

"He doesn't need to know. You're her father, and that's all that matters."

I can feel Howie grinning through the phone because he's winning and he really loves to win. What he doesn't know is I'm grinning too.

The next time we talk to organize a meeting, I'm nearly laughing. This is the last time I speak to Howie. I suspect he never sees his death coming. Ginger doesn't tell me her plans. She only takes the information about where and when we're supposed to meet then says to keep an eye on the news.

Not long after the planned meeting, I read in the paper that Howie and Clarence are presumed dead. The police got a tip about the men's disappearances then discovered their blood all over a junkie's West Side apartment. When they tried to arrest the guy, he pulled a gun on them and died right there. Even without the bodies, the cops closed the case. Howie and Clarence are dead along with their presumed killer. Ginger handled the problem like she promised, so now Pax can officially adopt Tallulah.

53

Pax

Trouble Has Left the Building

Ford and I wear jeans for the wedding. I can't put on a pair of dress slacks without feeling like a fucking idiot. Even my balls reject the experience, feeling too snug in the fabric. Ford tries on a pair and looks straight to his crotch. He doesn't say anything at the store, but I think his balls refuse slacks too.

We settle for jeans along with brand new black dress shirts, jackets, and ties. When Bebe hears about the getups, she jokes we sound like the guys from
Reservoir Dogs
. I love her more for knowing the reference. Hell, I think I love her more every time she burps. The woman owns me now.

While waiting in the groom's area before the wedding begins, I bounce around like Tallulah on too much sugar.

"Stop being a weenie," Ford says from the window.

"I heard Shay would date any man, so picking you ain't saying much. Bebe's got taste though."

Ford glances at me and sighs. "I didn't want to tell you, but it's clear that Bebe only chose you because you were her only choice. Shay got to choose between you and me and all the guys in Little Memphis when she showed up. Bebe never had a chance. She just ended up with you."

I glare hard at Ford who struggles not to laugh. "Bebe would choose me out of a million guys. Shay would choose anyone who likes trucker hats."

"Don't talk shit about my woman's hats," he says, finally laughing.

Frowning, I kick at the ground. "Bebe had a choice."

"I know, turd," he says softly. "She gets you like I do. That's a special kind of thing, and you were right to love her back."

I smile at my brother. "You're an asshole.

"I know, but you're a piss-pants dweeb."

"Not even close."

"You ready to make shit official?"

"What if one of them tries to run?"

"That's what the ties are for."

Grinning, I follow him out to the altar of the small church. The preacher is dressed as Elvis. I'm pissed about this fact, but Ford loves it. He claims the Elvis thing is an inside joke with Shay. All I know is the guy creeps me out.

Shay and Bebe don't match for our double wedding. While my sister-in-law walks down the aisle in heels and a red dress, Bebe wears a light blue dress with sandals. They're both underdressed for a winter wedding, but I'm not complaining. Bebe looks like a damn angel walking towards me on Joker's arm.

Lucky continues the lie about being Shay's dad by walking her down the aisle. As one of the bridesmaids, Jenn made her way down with Darby helping keep her balance. The entire club fills the church. Ginger and her crew attend too. Our guests are packing enough heat to battle a small country.

Bebe walks with Joker on one side and Tallulah at the other. Our little girl is still sporting her cast while wearing the pink princess dress Ginger bought her. Tallulah would sleep in the dress if we let her.

I feel like a douche standing at the front with Ford and Preacher Elvis, until Bebe looks up at me with her amazing brown eyes. Tallulah shuffles over to Darby and holds her hand while Elvis does his "dearly beloved" jazz.

"Thank you for saving me and for being you," Bebe says when she needs to add her personal two-cents to the vows.

"Thank you for seeing past my sexy exterior to the complicated man I am on the inside."

Bebe isn't the only one who laughs. Fucking Joker nearly pisses himself.

Frowning at everyone, I mutter, "I'm being serious."

"That's why it's funny," Bebe says, wrapping her arms around me. "Ignore them. You
are
complicated."

"You laughed too."

"Yeah, that you thought I ever looked past your hotness."

Kissing her forehead, I smile. "Shallow is sexy."

Once everyone settles down, Ford tells Shay she's awesome, and she says he's totally awesome too. At least, I think that's what they're saying. I admit I can't see past Bebe's eyes on me. All I can hear is my heart beating.

I was born poor white trash to a junkie mom in a world I barely understand. Now I'm standing in front of a group of people who give a shit if I live or die. I have a sweet little girl who plans to teach me everything she learns at school since I wasn't paying attention the first time around. I have a brother who knows what I'm thinking even when I don't. Mostly, I have a woman who sees how I am and how I wish to be.

By the power invested in Elvis by the great state of Arkansas, he declares us husbands and wives. The tricky stuff is over, and now we get to the best part…the rest of our lives.

Epilogue

Bebe

March arrives with two feet of snow and Pax on a mission. He lights candles every night and prays with Tallulah for a baby. Shay tells me to sit with my legs in the air to ensure optimal sperm infiltration. Darby says I should listen to Dean Martin like she did to get pregnant. Jenn suggests eating lots of pepper. Lupe wants me to try guacamole. Not because it'll make me fertile, but she thinks I'm missing out.

Even Ford gets into the action by claiming he slaughtered a goat to the god of baby-making mojo.

I don't listen to Dean Martin, sit with my legs in the air, or eat pepper. Oh, and I still think guacamole looks like snot. Despite all that, I get pregnant in March.

By the time Tallulah begins preschool, I waddle more than walk. Pax constantly talks to the baby, trying to teach it to take his side in arguments. He also devises a dozen new sexual positions for my comfort.

Sabrina Perri is born the day before Thanksgiving. Exhausted, I doze off to Pax humming
Cat Scratch Fever
to our baby girl. The next day, we return home, where Tallulah watches her sister for hours before realizing babies are boring. Pax takes longer to get the message. Eventually, the two of them run around in the backyard with Folgers. I hear them making plans for when Sabrina is old enough to join the fun.