Broken Trouble (Broken Storm #1) (31 page)

              That had been the last time I saw Holly before the police picked us up, throwing us in two different juvie centers to keep us from getting into any more trouble together.

              The soft strumming of a guitar flitted through my mind then. It took me a minute to realize that I wasn't imagining it, but that someone was playing beside me.

              I opened an eye, peeking at the person beside me before closing it again. I hadn't even heard Dylan approach, but there he was, giving me background music while I tried to build a wall around my heart to protect myself from leaving him. My imaginary inner self gave up on the wall, a brick falling with every chord he struck.

              After a few minutes, the strumming stopped and we fell into silence. I opened my eyes and looked over at him, checking to see if he was still there. He could be so quiet sometimes that even though my soul knew that he was still there, my mind wouldn't stop wondering.

              When my eyes met his, he smiled shyly, his legs sprawled out in front of him and his guitar still in the ready position. "I wrote a song and I want to know what you think of it. If that's okay."

              I nodded, but his hand shook as he reached up to brush the hair from his eyes, nervous and uncertain. "It's really rough and I haven't got all the notes worked out yet—"

              "Dylan," I interrupted, not wanted to see him struggle anymore, "play it please."

              "Okay," Dylan nodded, blushing red as he began to play, only his fingers didn't move, nerves causing him to stall as he glanced back up at me, then at his guitar again.

              Finally, after he seemed to relax a bit, he started playing, the music smooth yet staccato, giving it nice beat. When he started singing, I could tell immediately that he was playing from the heart, his hesitance fading.

              "Your beauty had me fallin',

Fallin' head over heels in love,

Lips of silk and cherries,

Whisky eyes have me intoxicated,

Just waiting for my next moment with you.

Now I heard that you're leaving,

And I can't help but pray,

That your departure is temporary,

And that you'll be coming back into my arms again.

Pretty, pretty please,

Stay with me,

No matter how complicated,

Our future may be,

You're my everything.

You hold my heart in your palms,

My soul searching and screaming for yours,

Nothing will relieve the pain,

Until I see your face again.

Pretty, pretty please,

Stay with me,

No matter how complicated,

Our future may be,

You're my everything."

              I felt tears falling down my cheeks, my heart melting and breaking at his song. He was so sweet. I hated what he was having to go through because of me. He deserved so much more than what I could ever give him.

              "What did you think?" Dylan asked, his voice shaking with returning nerves. He probably thought I hated it with the way I was crying. I could see it in his eyes, the pain and worry, like he had broke me or something.

              "It was beautiful," I whispered, trying to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop flowing.

              Dylan took a shaky breath, setting his guitar aside only to fiddle with the loose threads on his jeans. "It's how I feel about you. I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes."

              "You shouldn't wait for me."

              "Why?"

              How did I explain to him that I wasn't good enough? That I didn't know if, or when, I would be coming back and I wanted to know that he would move on with his life. I didn't want him hung up over some girl who couldn't even get her life straight, let alone sort out her feelings for all of them. If I could save him from years of pain and wasted time, wasn't that worth a little pain now? "You should move on. I don't know if I'm coming back. You have to promise me that you won't wait for me. I don't want that for you."

              "I'll wait as long as it takes for you to come back. I'll find you if you take too long. There's no moving on for me," Dylan said softly, when he spoke again, his voice broke just like my heart was breaking for him, "I love you."

              There was no air in my lungs. Dylan was the first person to tell me that he loved me since I was a young child. This was different from the rare birthday card I’d received from my parents as a child. Their words of love had always been more of a force of habit, something that they thought they had to do.

              Dylan's words weren't forced or said out of reflex, he loved me and wasn't afraid to tell me.

              I was stunned into silence, tears flooding my cheeks. He reached over, holding my face in his hands as he kissed me gently on my lips. "I love you," he whispered this time as he pressed his forehead against mine. Then he got up, walking away from me and out of the barn, leaving me to my misery.

              After he was long gone, I whispered back so low that I could barely hear my own words, "I love you too."

              When I was able to dry my tears enough, I walked back to the back of the barn, planning to stay there and stare at it until I came up with something to finish it.

              I was barely holding myself together as it was, but when I saw the back of the barn, I burst into tears, crying out the rest of the lemonade that I had re-hydrated myself with earlier.

              Next to my hand print was seven others, all different colors, but all there. Jayden had smudged his middle finger on his handprint, making a crude looking drawing of a certain body part. No matter what was happening, he still managed to create something completely vulgar out of something innocent.

              That wasn't what had me bawling like a baby though, it was the words they written out beside them.

              'Rainbows, flowers and sunsets are all made up of different colors, each one contributing to make perfection. This is the same in all beautiful things, especially and most importantly, you.'

              I spent the night with Storm. I snuck back into the house early the next morning, hiding away in my room until breakfast was ready. I spent the hours in my room packing.

              Even I knew that was a complete lie. I didn't need all morning to pack my bag, it was just an excuse I told myself so I could feel better about hiding away in my room. As soon as I went out, I would have everyone around me, reminding me that I would be leaving in just a few short hours, along with everything and everyone I would be missing here.

              It was better to stay away from them as much as I could, so I would be used to the hollow pain of being alone. I didn't know for sure what would happen, but I had an idea. It came from the stabbing feeling in my gut, like someone was punching holes into my stomach and knocking the air from my lungs at the same time.

              It wasn't a pretty feeling, knowing that things were going quickly downhill for me from here on out.

              I applied the eyeliner around my eyes, telling myself that I wouldn't cry anymore today. I was all cried out from yesterday and last night. I was still glad that the eyeliner was waterproof though, just in case my emotions started escaping the confines of my heart.

              Throwing my packed bag on my bed, I tucked my iPod into my front pocket. I hadn't used it very much since coming to the ranch, but last night I’d slept with it on, trying to calm my aching soul with music like I always had. What had always seemed to work before, hadn't worked now. My mind wanted to replay Dylan's song over and over in my mind, no matter how loud the other music was.

              Opening the door to my room, I found Mutt sitting there. He looked up at me, tilting his head to the side in the adorable way only puppies could. It was like he was asking me why I’d been locked away in my room. I wondered how long the little puppy had been sitting there. When I took a step forward, he hopped up, attacking my shoes and barking.

              Scooping him up into my arms, I cuddled him close and pressed my nose into his fur. For once, he didn't struggle, just stayed in my arms like that's what he'd came to me for.

              I was glad for the non-human company while I traveled down the steps to where everyone was. A puppy couldn't make my wall crumble, because they didn't have to break through the wall to get in. I wasn't trying to keep Mutt at bay to keep myself from being hurt anymore. He gave me comfort, making me wonder if that's why Gavin liked him so much. Though I guess that wasn't completely true, because Mutt seemed to always be annoying him. Not that it was the puppy's fault, everything and everyone set Gavin off.

              I walked into the kitchen and everyone turned to stare. I shrank back into myself, feeling uncomfortable with all their eyes on me.

              "What did you do to him?" Gavin asked, his posture stiffening as he glanced from Mutts relaxed form in my arms to glare at me.

              I dropped my chin to rest it on top on Mutt's soft fur, realizing that they weren't staring at me for the reason I thought. They were just surprised to see that Mutt was letting someone carry him.

              "It's a miracle! She's tamed the beast," Landon exclaimed, reaching behind an unsuspecting Polly to snatch a piece of sausage from a plate.

              Gavin huffed, while Polly gave him a warning look.

              I didn't say anything, which would have left us all standing in the kitchen in silence if Landon hadn't come towards me, giving Mutt a small piece of sausage. He broke off another piece, offering it to me the same way he did to Mutt. At first I frowned at his grinning face, but the smell of the sausage was causing my stomach to riot in hunger. My hands were full with Mutt in my arms, so I opened my mouth and let him feed me.

              As I chewed the sausage, he patted the top of my head, "Good girl."

              "I bet she'd rather eat my sausage," Jayden said crudely, appearing beside him with another sausage.

              Landon smacked him over the head, which got him praise from Polly.

              "Thank you Landon," she said, then frowned at Jayden with a shake of her head. "Now carry these plates to the table boys, we have a long day ahead of us."

              When Gavin left the room, Mutt finally struggled to get free from my arms, probably wanting to trick the guys out of more sausage. I set him down, watching the puppy scramble across the floor and out of the kitchen.

              I avoided looking at Dylan, not wanting to see any regret in his expression for what he had said to me yesterday. As much as it hurt to know that he loved me when I wouldn't be here anymore, I didn't want him to retract it, even though that would make leaving that much easier.

              He was the last to leave the kitchen, pausing beside me while Polly was getting the pan of gravy ready. I was only able to resist looking at him for a few seconds. When I peered into his eyes, I could see the same fear staring back at me. Of course he would be nervous, he had confessed his love for me and I hadn't said anything back that he could hear.

              Maybe it would be best that he didn't know that I loved him too. If I didn't come back, then wouldn't that make it easier for him?

              I’d voiced my fears yesterday to him and he hadn't backed down. He had shown courage by telling me that he loved me, knowing my doubts and that I would be leaving. Maybe he had taken the chance on me because he hasn't been through everything I have. Dylan was probably used to things working out for him, so why not show a leap of faith by admitting his feelings?

              I had no faith that things would work out for me, which only meant that things wouldn't work out between us.

              Suddenly, he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. It shocked the thoughts from me, if only temporarily. It was such a simple and sweet gesture, completely and totally Dylan, making my heart swell with love and pain at the same time.

              There was a crash of glass shattering in the dining room, followed by Gavin screaming, "Mutt!"

              The moment between Dylan and I was broken, and he blushed and continued on his way to the table with the plate.

              I turned to follow him, but felt Polly's hand on my arm. "Honey, I wanted to talk to ya for a minute."

              I nodded, trying to force my wall up, preparing for whatever she had to say.

              "Today’s going to be hard on ya, but I don't want ya to lose yourself in what some people may say about ya. You're smart, kind and beautiful. I wanted ya to know that this ranch is your home for as long as ya want it to be. Ya don't have to go at it alone. We're here for ya, no matter what ya need."

              I blinked away the tears that formed in my eyes at the implications of what Polly was suggesting. It was different from the guys telling me to stay, which was like them asking me to be in a relationship with them. Polly was asking me to join their family.

              The nice thing was she wasn't pressuring me into responding. She was only telling me what she needed to, the moving on to let me think things over. Maybe that's where Wyatt got his wisdom.

              "Now come on, let's go help them clean up that mess before they injure themselves or start making it into a competition. Those boys will bicker and compete over anything," Polly said, handing me the broom and dustpan before grabbing a pan of gravy to carry into the living room.

              We walked into the dining room to find Mutt on the table, licking at the plate of sausage, while the rest of the guys were playing a game of who could jump the farthest across the broken glass plate on the floor.

              "Stop that and clean up this mess," Polly ordered, just as Landon jumped, causing him to change tactics halfway over. He ended up pretending to just be stepping over, instead of competing. It caused him to land on a shard of broken plate, tipping him off balance so he slipped and stumbled into me.

              The air was knocked out of my lungs with the force of his body slamming into mine and I struggled for balance so we wouldn't fall. The broom and dustpan, however, weren't so safe and fell to the floor.

              Landon found his balance first, straightening up and wrapping his arms around me. "Nova, I'm so happy to see you!" Landon said, trying to cover up the obvious slip, "Will you go bungee jumping with me?"

              I froze, hearing everyone else in the room go silent, knowing that he was asking me to do something with him in the future. With my future so uncertain, everyone was waiting to see what I would say, to see if I would come back. How was I supposed to respond when I didn't even know what my future held? "I don't know what I'll be doing after today," I admitted softly, "I don't think they'd allow bungee jumping in prison."

              "Small details," Landon waved off my comment. "We can go canyon jumping. Please, all I want in my life is to go bungee jumping with you. I will be depressed, completely devastated, if you don't go with me." He fell to his knees in front of me, being overly dramatic. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he begged, practically sprawling across the floor from the pain of my possible rejection. It would be hilarious if he wasn't asking me to promise him something I didn't think would be possible. "Please, go with me," he begged some more, grasping my hands in his.

              "Okay," I relented, inwardly cringing as I hoped I would be able to keep that promise and wouldn't regret making it.

              Landon blinked, the tears disappearing and his face returning to his normal expression. "Cool. Let's eat, I'm starving!" he said, standing up and clutching at his stomach before striding with ease to the table to take a seat. He scooped Mutt from the table to set him in his lap.

              I glanced around the room, finding everyone staring at me, all except for Gavin who had the broom and dustpan and was cleaning up the broken plate.

              Dylan smiled as he sat down. Everyone looked relieved and relaxed for the first time since they heard I was leaving. It was then that realization sunk in. I hadn't just promised Landon to go bungee jumping with him, I’d given them all the possibility of a future with me.

              So much for keeping the wall up and protecting them all.

              "Nova!" Starre's voice echoed through the house, surprising me. I had been too emotionally exhausted to call or text her about what was happening. Now she was here and I felt nervous about telling her the bad news. She ran into the room, wrapping her arms around me in a bone crushing hug that was surprising considering her size. "Polly called me last night and told me about you going to court today." She released me, taking a step back. "That woman was a total bitch; I'm even wearing a shirt today inspired by her. I'm going with you to court today. You just point her out and I'll show her what's what."

              "You're not going to court with her Honey," Polly told her firmly, sitting down at the head of the table, "Only Gavin and I are going with her."

              Immediately, the room burst with the noise of everyone arguing, wanting to go to court with me.

              "We all want to go. The court’s open for whoever wants to go," Landon argued.

              "Who else is going to keep her mind off things during breaks?" Jayden winked suggestively at me.

              "You boys have work to do around the ranch. It's been awhile since we rode the fences and cleaned out the water troughs. The water pump out back was acting up yesterday, so you'll need to do some work on that too. Plenty to do here," Chili ordered, backing Polly up.

              "We can do that another day," Dylan suggested hopefully.

              "I'll trade off with someone. I'm better at fixing things," Gavin offered willingly, looking like he hated to idea of going to court with me.

              Ah wonderful, that should make things fun.

              "No, you're going to drive us," Polly stated, then added, "end of discussion," when Gavin started to argue. He mumbled curses under his breath, throwing food onto his plate. At this point, everyone had found their place at the table and was getting their food.

              "I'd really like to go Polly. I don't have anything better to do than to support my best friend," Starre said, looking for Polly's go ahead.

              "We talked about this last night Honey," Polly said, looking pointedly at her.

              Starre huffed, reaching for the food on the table. She looked disgruntled and upset, but didn't argue with Polly on the subject. "I’ll just text then. If that woman starts pulling her shit, then you come talk to me. I'll tell you a few things you can tell her about her and her personality," Starre said to me and I looked at her for the first time since she arrived. Her eyes were lined in thick eyeliner, purple eye shadow powdered underneath her eyebrows. Her shirt read 'You inspire my inner serial killer' and her hair was twisted up into a crazy bun. She had obviously been going for the badass angry chick look.

              I grinned at her appearance and she gestured to my outfit. "I'm going to help you get dressed when you're done. If they expect you to be trouble, then you can look like their worst nightmare."