BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAY (7 page)

They shared a hug and Carrie settled back down on
the sofa to sleep but her mind was whirring and trying to think of solutions to
Claire’s predicament.

Spending time with her sister had given her a sense
of purpose again but still she dreaded the coming months and the remainder of
her year of firsts.  She already had her first birthday without Rob and
just round the corner would have been Rob’s thirty-ninth birthday.  They
had joked that this would be the last of his ‘thirties’ and they would need to
celebrate it in style before he hit the big 40.  His birthday was a few
weeks away and she now planned to take some time off work to visit Auntie
Belle.  Thought it best to get away from Glasgow from family and
well-meaning friends.  A bit of distance from work would do her good
too.  

Within a couple of days and several phone calls
trying to track her Auntie Belle down she made arrangements to visit. 
Although she could have drove or got a flight she decided to get the train from
Glasgow to Newquay.  A feat in itself as she would be travelling for
almost twelve hours – give or take and a couple of changes in station. 
But she didn’t want to drive that far or fly on her own.

Auntie Belle was delighted to have her stay and was
convinced it was her persistent phone calls that had prompted the trip. 
Carrie knew her parents were glad that she was going away for a couple of weeks
but not too far away.  When Carrie requested the time off work Fiona
gladly signed her holiday request off.  A bit too easy for Carrie’s liking
but she didn’t argue the point.  It had been a tough six months since Rob
died and she knew she was heading for burn out if she continued the way she
was.   A trip with Belle always seemed to put Carrie back on
track.  Growing up she wanted to be a dancer.  She would dance and
sing putting on her own ‘show’ for the family.  Her family indulged her
and she had dance lessons as a young child.  Dreamed of dancing
professionally in the theatre she auditioned for a place in the dance and music
school for her high school education.  It was a life she embraced and she
displayed all the enthusiasm, professionalism and skills to become a
dancer.  Then life threw her, her first real curve ball.  She had
applied for her university place, prepared for her exams then her life changed. 
Her parents were decorating and the house was in disarray.  Scaffolding
had been erected in the hallway to reach the high ceilings, dust sheets and
various other decorating paraphernalia littered the floor.  Carrie had
forgotten a school book and returned to her bedroom to retrieve it whilst her
mother waited patiently at the door, giving her a lift that day to
school.  She called out to Carrie to be careful but in Carries head the
warning was to be aware of the drying paint work.  She dodged the scaffold
beam as she raced down the stairs, thinking ahead of her date that night with
Tommy her boyfriend of eight months.  Tucked into the right angle of the
third stair, hidden under the dust sheets the stainless steel tube of the
scaffold.  Carries foot hit it and the tube rolled with the momentum of
her foot like a log in water.  She pitched, losing her balance frantically
reaching out to grab and stop her body from falling.  Her mother could
only watch on in horror as this played out in front of her.  A scene that
repeatedly haunted her over the years with the what if’s.  What if Carrie
hadn’t returned to her room?  What if the decorators had cleared up
properly? 

But no what if’s could have stopped what
happened.  Carrie tumbled down the stairs, her heel stuck in the dust
sheet and her grappling hands had pulled the scaffolding after her.  She
screamed out in shock and pain with the knock of falling forward her head
cracking on the polished wooden floor when the motion of her body moving
stopped.  Kate too screamed as her daughter lay unconscious on the
floor.  Carries father heard the commotion and stopped Kate as she reached
out to cradle Carries head.  “STOP, you can’t move her.”  A sight
that haunted him too. 

Weeks in hospital, pins in her ankle to repair the
breakage and months of physiotherapy her dream of dancing over.  Although
it had healed it would never be able to withstand the rigour of hours of
physical work that dancing demanded.  Carrie was heartbroken and went off
the rails for a little while.  She didn’t want to do her drama course at
university as it would be torture for her to be close to her friends who were
dancing and she could not follow that dream.  Poor Tommy was soon no
longer her boyfriend as she started to mix with a different crowd, rebelling
from what was normal.  She acted out on her poor parents who were beside
themselves with their own guilt at her accident happening at home.  She
started to hang around with a different crowd, stayed out late, even got drunk
one night and Claire came to her rescue.  Around this time it was decided
that Carrie would join Auntie Belle for the summer.  It was to be a change
of scene their own version of an intervention.  Carrie was disinterested
in their suggestion but went along with it.  Anything to stop her mother
nagging her and their constant bickering.  Belle was working in a hotel in
Northumberland and had rented out a flat for the summer.  Carrie stayed
with her but was put through her paces in various departments in the hotel. 
She learned how to make the perfect box pleat when making a bed, how to change
a duvet cover without getting lost in metres of fabric, how to buff the tap
wear in the bathrooms until it was gleaming.  Skills she could transfer to
her own home and gave her eyes an attention to detail.  From housekeeping
she was sent to help in the restaurants and worked split shifts.  Helping
out with the breakfast service, a few hours off in between then back for the
dinner service.  This she enjoyed the interaction with the public and
building camaraderie with the kitchen and waitress staff.  She rarely saw
her Aunt during the day but in the evenings they shared a meal when they
could.  The other staff gave her no preferential treatment.  It
stopped her feeling homesick which given her recent behaviour surprised her
with the intensity of missing her parents and sister.  But within a few
weeks she had adjusted.  Slowly Carrie moved on from the angry teenager
who was in revolt with her life to wanting a career.  Her university
option changed to hotel and hospitality. 

So Auntie
Belle came to her rescue then.  She returned home after that summer
altering to changing her plans for the future.   Now she was doing
the same going off to Auntie Belles to heal again.  Grief hadn’t driven her
off the rails again but it was coming close.  Her Mum and Dad watched her
like a hawk when she got back home that summer.  She had grown up, matured
and had moved on from feeling resentment that her future plans had changed
dramatically.  Although sometimes she felt the smile forced or strained
she still pinned it to her face.

"Oh
that's a shame you can’t dance anymore but at least you're not a cripple!"
her Aunt Peggy told her at her 18th birthday party, "But it’s not like it
was ever going to work out for you, I’m mean, who works as a dancer? 
Where is the money in that?  Are you going to live with your parents for
the rest of your life?”

"Peggy!"
her mum expelled as she ran off in tears.

Her Aunt
Peggy was outspoken and that wasn't going to change.   She even told
Carrie after Rob’s funeral that the insurance money would keep her going until
she met her next man.  That was after asking if he was insured and that
she was properly taken care of.  At that point her parents quickly had her
Aunt in a taxi home before things got out of hand.

Staying at her Aunt’s home she knew she didn’t need
to take much with her.  Clothes she could wash in the machine so she
didn’t need to over pack and decided to take her little suitcase but the last
time she saw that it was in the garage or was it the loft? Automatically she
called out “Rob  ... Where is the” and was about to ask him.  Just as
she would have done a million times before.  Forgetting again, that he was
not there.

The suitcase was in the garage, squeezed behind the
boxes from AGM of Rob’s stuff.  She pulled the box forward to try and grab
the handle of the suitcase.  The top box wobbled and fell over. 
Papers strewn everywhere. “Great!”

She put the suitcase aside and started to pick the
papers up to return them to the box.  There tucked in the box the
packaging of an unopened parcel from amazon.  Strange, she didn’t know why
that would be there.  She picked up the parcel after returning the paper
to the box and tightened the lid.  Tucking the parcel under her arm she
grabbed the suitcase and returned to the living room.  She opened the
package and there was a hardback book of the “Lighthouses of New
England”.  The night when Rob had man-flu and they had snuggled on the
sofa watching a program it was the lighthouses of New England.  Rob had
said he would love to visit there one day and Carrie had agreed.

“Just imagine walking up all those steps and looking
out into the sea.  Nothing but ocean and waves” he had said.

The tears had once again fallen down her face.

Her little suitcase was packed, her large Hermes
style birkin bag filled to capacity with all the essentials for her trip. Along
with all the other non-essentials that she couldn’t leave home without. 
She added the lighthouse book into her handbag along with ‘Rob’ – she had his
ashes in a carrier.  Her original intention was to scatter his ashes but
she couldn’t part with them.  It was her last link to him.  They had
been transferred into a cylinder tube decorated with a picture of the ocean for
scattering.  She had picked that design after his love of the sea. 
People might think her strange but she didn’t care a jot.  It brought him
closer to her.  The decorative tube was usually by her nightstand. 
Away from prying eyes at home.  This was her first trip away without him
so his ashes would be a substitute but bring her comfort.  Maybe soon,
maybe never but it wasn’t time yet for her let him go.

The taxi was booked for eight and she set the alarm
with enough time to shower and change in the morning before getting the train
to Newquay.  A final check through the house before bed, fridge emptied,
and breadbin too, no nasty food surprises for her to return to.  Her
parents and Claire would check on the house whilst she was away.  A quick
note to her neighbours to let them know she would be away for a couple of
weeks.  She had a sneaky suspicion they would contact her family if they
didn’t see her around the house or small estate after a day or two.  
Bluebell Gardens was that sort of place.

Glasgow Central train station was bustling with
activity as Carrie walked along the platform. The handle of the suitcase
trolley in one hand, handbag in the crook of her arm and a coffee in her other
hand.  She was also clutching newspapers, magazines and a Danish
pastry.  Her travel essentials.  She had already located which
platform her train would depart from and that it was currently running on
time.  The heels of her boots clicked on the platform until she stopped at
the carriage where she had pre-booked her seat.  With minimum effort she
was soon settled drinking her coffee, the Danish pastry nothing but crumbs and
catching up on the latest celebrity gossip.

The train pulled into Birmingham New Street station
and Carrie had about 20 minutes before she caught the connecting train to
Newquay.  The journey so far was uneventful and without incident. 
Her Mum and Claire had both sent numerous texts checking in that she was
‘okay’.  After getting another coffee she located the platform of her next
train and sat on one of the benches.

“Hi Mum, I’m at Birmingham, just waiting on the next
train.”  In less than sixty seconds her Mum had updated her on the weather
now in Glasgow even though she had only left five hours ago.  The house
next door that was up for sale and no one had told her.  How this piece of
gossip had escaped her Mothers notice she would never know.  Her Dad was
meeting up with some friends from university for a few drinks and she was
babysitting for Claire.  Phew! She promised to text when she arrived and
call in the morning.  Time to call Claire.

 “Ryan got the job.  Woo hoo!  We are
going out for dinner tonight to celebrate.  Mum and Dad are having Harry”

“That’s great news Claire. Pass my congrats to
Ryan.  Enjoy your night!”

They chatted for a few more minutes and Carrie also
promised again to text when she arrived and a call in the morning.

She could hear the relief in Claire’s voice that
Ryan had steady employment lined up again.  This would take some of the
pressure of her sister returning to work.  She hoped this was the start of
things improving for her sister.  If only their neighbours would
co-operate with the noise. 

Almost ten hours after leaving Glasgow she arrived
in Newquay.  A short taxi ride and she was at her Aunt’s apartment on the
outskirts of town.  The apartment overlooked Fistral Beach with a view
that you would never tire of.   Carrie had visited many times in the
past with Rob as the apartment had two bedrooms with plenty of living space. 
She loved it.  It only took about ten minutes to walk into the town
centre.  She knew the exclusivity of the area and the views came at a
price but although her Aunt travelled for work Newquay was her base.  She
buzzed the intercom and was soon enveloped in the arms of her Aunt.

Carrie hadn’t seen her Aunt since Rob’s funeral and
his loss felt stronger if that was possible hundreds of miles from home.

“Hello Auntie Belle” and promptly burst into tears.

“Oh Carrie, my poor, poor girl”

Almost a box of tissues and a brandy later Carrie
had calmed down.

“Now darling, put these tea bags on your eyes. They
will take some of the puffiness out, if that’s at all possible!”  Carrie
lay back on her Aunts pristine white leather sofa, boots off of course and a
tea bag on each eye.

“Are you sure this works?” she said doubtfully

“It does, I’ve cried my share of heartache darling
and it works too well.  The times I’ve had to ask room service to make
some tea and keep the tea bags for me.  Too many to say, oh and a glass of
champagne always helps with the troubles too!”

Feeling silly and completely in the dark with the
tea bags obscuring her vision she couldn’t continue a sensible conversation.

“Belle, I’m going for a shower if you don’t mind and
then to bed.  I’m so tired”

“That’s alright darling.  Your room is
ready.  You know where everything is”

She returned the tea bags to the bin and gathered
her belongings.

Twenty minutes later she was ready for bed after
showering the aches and grime of travelling away.  The texts sent to her
Mum and sister confirming her arrival.  She got Rob out of her bag and
positioned him on the little chest of drawers.  Carrie was a bit of a neat
freak and had unpacked the remainder of her clothes.  Case stowed
away.  She picked up her boots and put them in the bottom of the
wardrobe.  What was that under her boot?  Another shiny penny. 
Strange she didn’t remember seeing it when she took her clothes off but she
supposed it could have already been there.  She placed it next to Rob and
was soon ensconced under the fluffy duvet.  Almost asleep before her head
hit the below.  “Night, night darling wherever you are” she whispered.

Carrie couldn’t remember when she had last slept so
soundly.  She pulled on a towelling robe and slippers that her Aunt had
left.  It was ten-thirty am.  Wow she had slept for almost ten
hours.  That was some brandy her Aunt had given her. Maybe she should take
some home for when her insomnia struck?

Her Aunts years in the hospitality industry were a
give-away.  A little tray on the counter with a continental breakfast
ready for her and a note to accompany it.

“
Good Morning Carrie,

I hope you had a lovely sleep and
enjoyed the Cornish air.  I have a client to see this morning but will be
back sometime this afternoon.  OJ in the fridge.  You know where
everything else is.  Make yourself at home.  I’ve left my spare keys
for you if you go out.

 Love

B x”

Carrie poured some juice and opened the balcony
doors taking in the views.  Belle had some plants on the balcony to offer
some privacy and a little table and chairs.  She unwrapped one of the
croissants and a little pot of jam.  After clearing up and putting the
dishes in the washer as she couldn’t find any washing up liquid she
contemplated what to do until Belle came home.  Time when Belle was
working was elastic as it stretched and stretched depending on the task. 
This she knew from when they visited as children and sometimes didn’t see very
much of their Auntie.  But first she had to make some calls to her Mum and
sister confirming her safe arrival. 

That took up a fair amount of time and after
showering it was almost lunchtime before she ventured out.  Her hair
pulled back in a ponytail, jeans and t-shirt.  She tied a sweater around
her waist in case it turned cold later.  No boots this time but her
converse for comfort.  She didn’t need to take much out as she only
intended going for a walk along the beach.  Some money, the spare keys and
her phone. 

The beach was crowded with surfers but that wasn’t
unusual for Fistral beach.  Carrie found a spot near the Headland
Hotel.  Her sweater she folded and sat down to use for padding.  She
stared out into the sea and wrapped her arms round her legs.  Almost
hypnotised by the rise and fall of the waves.  The sea breeze ruffling her
hair reminding her that it needed cut as her fringe was now outgrown.  She
tucked a stray curl behind her ear and her phone began to ring, it was Belle.

“Hi Carrie, where are you darling?”

“I went for a walk, just out at Fistral”

“Okay, it looks like I will be stuck here for the
rest of the day.  Crisis talks darling.”

“Oh don’t worry.  We can catch up later.”

“I don’t know when I will be back.  I feel
terrible, I’ve invited you here and now I can’t even spend any time with you!”

“Belle, I will be fine.  I understand you have
to work.  Remember I’m not rushing back home.  You are stuck with me
for the next couple of weeks!”

“Got to go.  The meeting is restarting.  I
was planning in taking you out for dinner this evening too.” 

“I’m a big girl Belle .. I can get some
shopping.  Let me know how your meeting goes.  Good Luck!”

“It’s not luck I need darling .. the Devanti group
are planning a take-over and it’s a bloody miracle that’s needed!”

Devanti?  That name sounded familiar but at
that time she couldn’t place where. 

Carrie stopped off at a deli on the way back to
Belle. It was one that they had used many times before.  She stocked up on
some salad, bread, little dishes of antipasti and a bottle of Chablis that was
a favourite of Belles.  All food that could be eaten whatever time Belle
made it home. 

Back at the apartment she unpacked the shopping and
made some tea.  Sitting on the balcony she flicked through one of the
magazines that she hadn’t read fully on her train journey. 

Ah there it was …

“Billionaire playboy Nico Devanti heads to the
UK.  Nico 34, head of the Devanti International Group quashed rumours that
he was in the UK to spearhead the take-over of Forest Hotels.  Forest
Hotels has been vulnerable and ripe for a take-over following the death of
founder Alex Forest and the infamous family squabbling.  Nico stepped out
with glamorous supermodel Lea his current squeeze for a cosy dinner but his
people declined to comment on the reason for his visit to the UK.  Sources
say that Nico has been spotted with the Forest siblings at their family hide
away in Devon.  Watch this space folks.  You heard it here first!”

The article went on to list the history of the
Devanti Group.  Self-made by Nico’s father in the 1970’s they regularly
featured in the top 20 companies of the Forbes billionaire list.  The
company was 100% family owned.  Gino Devanti retained the title as
Chairman but his son Nico was the CEO of the group.  Their interests
ranging from retail, communications to the hotels that they were visually known
for.  A brief note on the work carried out by Gino’s wife and Nico’s
mother Dorothea on her charity foundation.  Pictures accompanied the
article of Gino and Dorothea with their children.  Gino an older version
of Nico with greying hair and his Mediterranean looks dark looks.  She
couldn’t tell his build as he was seated outdoors and Dorothea stood by his
side.  Statuesque and very elegant in a black and white trim Chanel suit
with her hair in a chignon she looked years younger than she was.  Nico
stood opposite his Mother along with his brother Paolo and sister Chiara. 
The children grown up mini me’s of their parents.   They looked every
inch the dynastic family that they were.     

The picture taken captured the couple walking mid
stride.  Lea with her trademark pouts for the camera whilst holding Nico’s
hand.  They made an attractive couple.  Her glossy tousled blonde
hair, oversized sun glasses even though it was evening and miniscule black
dress showing off her long tanned legs.  Nico wore a dark jacket over a
crisp white shirt, jet black hair a little long over his collar and a day’s
stubble on his face.  He too wore sunglasses.  Screening his eyes
from the paparazzi.  Yes she could see why he was the billionaire playboy
and why Lea was clinging on staking her claim.  Good luck to her! 

The remainder of the day she caught up on some TV
but didn’t take in much of the latest plot lines in the soaps.  Despite
not having watched them in almost six months it didn’t take long to figure out
who was getting married, pregnant, having an affair or died!  She even
managed to speculate to herself who had committed the latest murder storyline
that would go on for months and months.   If she were back in the
office she could now participate in the soap chat.

She must have dozed off on the sofa, the TV still on
and looked at her watch.  It was seven thirty.  Poor Belle must still
be in the meeting.  She checked her phone and there was a text from Belle
apologising but the meeting was going to run for the remainder of the
evening.  She replied that they would catch up later and for her to
remember to have something to eat.  Carrie prepared her meal in the
immaculate kitchen that was part of the open plan living area. The olive bread
still soft despite being baked fresh that morning and she contemplated taking
some back home when she returned it was that moreish. The antipasti selection
just enough to tempt her taste buds and a glass of wine.  She left the
Chablis to enjoy another evening with Belle.  It seemed her Aunts fridge
only had room for wine or champagne.  Was this what single living would
bring to her?

Again she adjourned to the balcony to finish her
wine and people watch.  The sun was setting the sky swirls of burnt orange
and pink.  Mother Nature was amazing at times.  In her cloak of grief
it was difficult to let the joys of a beautiful sunset set pierce through, but
she was glad she could appreciate it tonight.

At the beginning of the year when she had been full
of promise and plans for getting pregnant with her usual zeal she had decided
it was time to lose a few pounds in weight.  All the self-help books
advised to be at your optimum weight for the best chances of conceiving. 
She had gained a little weight and her sister had joked that was because she
was in the comfort zone having bagged her man.  Nights of eating and
drinking well had added love handles.  But grief had robbed her also of
her appetite and food had held little interest.  She was now a couple of
dress sizes lighter. 

The news at ten had just finished and no sign of
Belle.  She sent her a text letting her know she was going to bed and
again slept soundly.