Can I Wear My Nose Ring to the Interview?: A Crash Course in Finding, Landing, and Keeping Your First Real Job (45 page)

When it comes to negotiation, mind-set is key. You need to understand and express confidence in your own worth and value. That should be easier once you’ve actually got an offer, because the company has shown it wants you. What could be more confidence-building than that?

Communicate that you really want the job. You
will
be able to create a win-win situation. Since some degree of compromise is likely, know exactly what
you
are willing to compromise on.

Negotiate based on concrete factors of value such as education, experience, skills, reputation, and contacts—
“As you know, I just completed a six-week training course in the field; I hope that will move me to the high end of the posted salary range.”
The employer will negotiate based on how eager he is to fill the position (how long it’s been open, how essential it is to the company), the company’s financial state, and how sure he is about his number-two candidate.

Q. I’m currently negotiating a job offer, but I know that I’m going to need to take sick leave for a major surgery soon after the start date. Am I obliged to mention that?

A.
You don’t have to, but you could be skating on very thin ice. If you say nothing, start your job, and then go out of commission for weeks—courtesy of the company’s health-care plan—you’ll seriously and adversely affect your relationship with the boss and the company. You may not be fired, but you will be creating a difficult situation for your boss and other members of your department, and your reputation will suffer.

If you get an offer from one company while you’re waiting to hear back from another, you have two options. If you want the job that’s been offered to you, accept it. Notify the other employer that you have accepted an offer and are withdrawing your candidacy.

If you don’t want the job, find out the terms before you decline. You may be able to use that information to leverage an offer for the job you want. Call or e-mail the place you haven’t heard from:
“I’m taking the liberty of being in touch because I haven’t heard back about an application I submitted, and I really want to work at your company. I just received
another offer, but I don’t want to accept it until I’m certain there is no possibility with you. If you can’t let me know now, may I have a sense of your hiring timeline?”

This may seem like playing with fire, but you have nothing to lose. What are the possibilities? Perhaps they didn’t get back to you because they weren’t interested in you. Now you know—and you have another job waiting. Or they haven’t made a decision yet. Now you’ve highlighted yourself as a desirable candidate—someone else wants you—and you’ve flattered them by telling them they’re your number-one choice.

The tricky part is that you can’t keep an offer open for more than a few days, maybe a week at most. If the undecided employer can’t make a choice that quickly, you are going to have to do some soul-searching. If you must have a job immediately, take the job that’s been offered. If you have some time, you can choose to take the risk of declining the standing offer. But know that you
are
taking a risk. Of course, the best possible outcome would be for the company you’re interested in to speed up its decision-making process and counteroffer, so you can choose between two offers. Either way, know that if you accept a job, that’s it. If things don’t work out, you can always move on, but don’t take a job thinking you’ll just keep looking and pull out if you get a better offer. That’s the kind of unprofessional behavior people talk about, and it
will
damage your reputation in the field. If you want to hold out, get a temp job.

Here’s one thing you definitely shouldn’t do: Pretend to have an offer when you don’t. It’s easy enough for an employer to verify whether or not you have in fact been offered a job.

Q. I have a family trip planned for the last two weeks of August, and I was hoping for a September start-date—but it’s the beginning of August and I’ve just been offered the job, which starts next week.

A.
In theory, you should avoid taking any unnecessary days off for the first few months of your new job, so I urge you to try to push back your start-date. Offer to come in two to three days a week or on flexible hours on a volunteer basis to shadow the person who’s leaving. If that’s not possible and you can’t change your plans, some employers may be willing to make exceptions for previously planned trips or family gatherings.

Q. I didn’t like what happened during the negotiation process. I’ve been getting some negative vibes; the boss I thought was nice seems psycho now. What do I do? Should I pull out?

A.
Don’t make hasty assumptions. Try to speak with someone else at the company before you take action—I’ve seen many job-hunters leap to unfounded conclusions. One candidate I worked with felt he was being unfairly pressured into a quick decision. He told me, “The boss said he’d slow things down, especially after I agreed to fly back out sooner than anticipated for a second visit. A day later another guy from the company called saying that the boss wanted to know where things stood. I feel like they’re going back on their word.” I had to remind him that the two guys in question had not necessarily talked to each other. It could have been a busy time; signals may have gotten crossed. Who knows …

On the other hand, how someone handles a negotiation may be indicative of the future working relationship, so trust your gut. Better to pull out during the negotiation process than to take a job only to quit a few weeks later.

What happens when you get a job offer you don’t want? First, ask yourself why you don’t want it. Are there things to be negotiated that would make you want it? It might be that you didn’t know you didn’t want it until you went through the process, met the actual people, tested out the commute. Or you’ve had interviews at more exciting places. Those are reasonable considerations.

Essentially, it’s your call. But here’s the important thing: The moment you realize that you won’t take a particular job—regardless of its pay or perks—is the moment you should withdraw your application. It’s only fair to the employer and to the other candidates. While it may be tempting to wait and see if you get an offer you can leverage for a job you
do
want, you’re only wasting everyone’s time. And who knows—you may one day want to come back to the company that doesn’t look so exciting right now. You should never burn your bridges.

Always decline offers over the phone and not by e-mail or voice mail. (If you consistently reach voice mail after trying for a day or two, leave a brief message saying you regret that you’re unable to accept the offer but would
like to speak with someone in person.) Thank the interviewer for his time and consideration. If you feel like you might be back one day, stress that you’d like to stay in touch and send a thank-you note.

The other possible outcome of a job search is rejection. When you get your first, celebrate: The worst is over! What you have feared all along has finally happened. Now you will never again suffer the agony of a first rejection.

While rejection is never ideal, you
can
make the most of it. You can’t get every job you apply for—and I’m a firm believer that if you didn’t get it, it wasn’t the right one for you. There’s a reason for everything. Perhaps you’ve been freed up for the right opportunity.

Sometimes, though, a rejection
is
about you. Employers may offer a reason (“We took an internal candidate”); but if they don’t, and you feel you had a good rapport with the interviewer, it doesn’t hurt to ask for feedback. “I’m very disappointed. I’m wondering if, at your convenience, you might be able to offer suggestions for improving my candidacy.” (If you’ve got an ally on the inside, you may be able to get some behind-the-scenes information on who was actually hired and why.)

You might learn something useful. One candidate scheduled a feedback phone call and got some very constructive criticism: First of all, she was competing with a pool of candidates who all had MBAs; she was also told that during her interview, her “headlining” skills were weak. (They expected her to be able to offer a brief, focused summary of her résumé orally, tying her skills and experience to the stated job requirements. Good thing you’ve been practicing that!)

Given the legal issues surrounding employment and the proliferation of discrimination suits, don’t be surprised if you can’t elicit any feedback.

KEEP YOUR NETWORK IN THE LOOP

And remember: There are several reasons you might not get a job, even if you’re perfectly qualified. There might have been an internal candidate or a candidate with more experience.

Take steps to remedy any obstacles that might be standing in your way. If you think you’re lacking experience, go out and get some. Intern, volunteer, or temp in the field. Were you perceived as overqualified? Time to rethink your résumé or the jobs for which you’re applying. (Of course, if you feel you’ve been discriminated against on the basis of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion, you need to decide if you want to pursue legal recourse; U.S. Department of Labor guidelines are available online.)

If the interviews went well and you get the sense that you were a top candidate, communicate how much you enjoyed the interview process and the people; express that you’re more determined than ever to find the right position at the company, and ask if they’d be willing to keep your résumé on file. Keep in touch. Another position might become available in a few months or even weeks.

Once you’ve negotiated the offer and accepted the job, ask to get the terms in writing. If the employer replies that they don’t have written contracts, ask whether you might have an informal letter of agreement for your files. They might not agree to that either, but you should still ask. At the very least, send them a letter stating your understanding of the terms and keep a copy for your files.

In a large company, you will probably schedule a time to sit down with someone in the HR department to go over things like health insurance and retirement plans and to fill out a welter of forms.

Depending on the job, you may be asked to sign noncompete and non-disclosure agreements or to undergo drug, credit, and background checks. Make sure you get expert advice before signing any documents.

Finally, find out where you’re supposed to be and when, and get ready to start!

NOW
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

Once you’re over the excitement of getting a new job, it may sink in that you actually
have
one. Soon you will not have the time to linger in coffee shops reading the entire paper as people in suits rush in and out with their cardboard cups. You will be one of them. But you also will be the new kid on the block, the one who doesn’t know the department code for the Xerox machine, the one who doesn’t know where to go for lunch or with whom.

Starting a new job can be exhilarating, but it can also be difficult and confidence-shaking. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you’ve ever seen stress charts, starting a new job is way up there, along with getting married or divorced, having children, and dealing with death or illness.

Even if you’re feeling confident or at ease in your new situation, there will be an adjustment period. Give yourself at least six weeks to begin to get a handle on what’s going on. Wait and watch. A boss
of mine once told me that it takes a year to know what your job actually
is
, and another year to figure out how to do it. I thought he was being kind. Now I know what he meant.

What can you do to make starting a job as easy as possible? The first thing is to know the logistics. When and where do you actually start? To whom should you report on the first day? If no one has told you, call the HR department or one of the people who hired you; don’t wait until Sunday night to figure out that you don’t know when and where you’re supposed to be on Monday morning.

Keep an open mind and be flexible. You may be greeted with flowers and a clean new office space, or it may appear as if no one knew you were coming—there will be no desk or working computer. You may be left to your own devices or called straight into a meeting or have a stack of folders dumped in your lap. The ideal scenario is to overlap with the person who held the job before you. Take notes and ask for advice (organizational strategies, the boss’s likes and dislikes), but take that advice with a grain of salt. Someone who was unhappy or had conflicts with the boss may give you an earful. The most thoughtful employees will leave detailed job descriptions and useful information, but don’t count on it.