Can't Let Go (15 page)

Lust filled his eyes. “You like it. God, I could feel how close you were to jumping me.”

Her nipples hardened and she scowled at him. He could make her want him with just his voice. She’d missed this, missed how in tune they were. This shouldn’t be happening though. She had to keep her guard up. This wasn’t something they would do if it wasn’t for Evie. She needed to remember that.

“Come.”

She forced her body under control and ignored his outstretched hand. “No.”

He stood and stripped off his shirt until
he wore only tiny black boxers. Her mouth watered. He sat facing her on the bed and leaned back on his elbows, showing off his muscled abdomen.

“You don’t believe me when I say I love you, do you?”

She took a step back. “No.”

“You can try to convince yourself that every word that comes out of my mouth is a line, that every time I touch you I’m doing it out of duty. You can even let yourself think I’m saying I love you because I feel guilty but you know deep down, I would never let myself be manipulated by an
ybody, even you.”

She whipped her head around to stare at him. She knew she should cover her ears and walk out of the room but she found herself spellbound by his silver tongue. It was how he sealed his business deals in that reasonable, gentle voice.

“I think our problem before was we’re too alike. We both had our guards up but that’s all gone now. I know about your mom. I can understand how it was the biggest insult to compare you to your mother who you’re nothing like. Ray kept telling me how you would betray me and when I found that pregnancy test all I could hear was his voice in my head.” He sat up and met her guarded eyes. “I was an idiot. I wanted to bind you to me on my own terms and I wasn’t ready for a baby. That’s the honest truth. Not until you left me did I realize what I lost. I not only lost the one woman who made me human, I forfeit the right to ever ask you to have a baby with me.” 

There was a vise around her chest. She could barely breathe. His guards were completely down. Ever since
his appearance at the airport she’d sensed his total acceptance of the marriage. He was happier than she’d ever seen him but she couldn’t allow herself to think she had anything to do with her. She couldn’t afford to think that way. And now she wasn’t capable of walking away. She felt compelled to listen.

He held his hands up in surrender. “I don’t care if you get pregnant tomorrow. After accepting I was going to have a baby and then finding out
you were never pregnant was… brutal.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Seeing Evie for the first time was hard. She could have been ours.”

Grace’s nose stung as tears threatened.
How many times had she thought the same thing?

“I don’t care how you come back into my life.
I don’t care why. If we have to get married, let’s do it. I want you, I want Evie. I want what I had with you. I don’t care how long it takes for you to forgive me. I want to protect you from your mom, I want to have more little Evie’s that look exactly like you. I want you guys to turn my life upside down because I know what my life is like without you in it. It sucks. It took me a year to find the balls to tell you this but I know absolutely that I love you.”

She had tears pouring down her face. God, she knew he meant it. She heard it in his voice, could see it on his face.

“I know you’re scared to be with me again. Every time you look at me it’s like you expect me to start yelling at you again and it tears me apart. I was supposed to be there for you when you were trying to figure out what to do with Casey and I failed. I don’t know what I have to do to make you trust me again so I’m doing everything I can to prove it.” He spread his arms wide to show he wasn’t going to hold back even if she wanted to hit him. “I’m yours no matter what you want to do with me.”

She snorted and wiped away her tears. What was she going to do with Mitchell Price? He
just can’t let go. Backing down wasn’t in his vocabulary. He fell silent, waiting for a response. She didn’t know what to say so she didn’t. She walked forward and he stiffened slightly but kept his arms at his sides. She wrapped her arms around his neck and straddled him. He moaned, gripped her butt and ground her down on him. He untied her robe and trailed his mouth from her mouth to her neck and then her breasts and suckled. Grace muffled a scream.

He moved until his back met the headboard, shucking out of his boxers at the same time. She rose on her knees over him as he positioned himself and slammed home.
She clutched his head to her chest as he suckled. Desperation rose between them and they were both desperate to reach that crest that would heal the wounds between them. She rode him, clutching the thick wooden headboard. He removed his mouth from her and gripped her hair, forcing her to meet his eyes.

“I love you,” he said.

“I hate you,” she said with a strained laugh.

He yanked her hair in punishment. “Tell me you want me.”

“Can’t you feel it?” she said, squeezing internal muscles that made his eyes roll.

He slapped her butt and slowed her up and down movements. “You’re mine.” He grasped her left hand on the headboard and she felt his fingers brush over the ring as if to make sure it was still there.

She kissed him hard. “And you’re mine.”

Without warning he rolled them to the side and she cried out as he pumped into her while changing their positions. He rose above her and thrust harder, faster. She clutched his sides, nearly drawing blood and he smiled.

“Mark me, baby,” he gasped.

They stared into each other’s eyes as they climaxed together. When he slumped over her she held him to her tightly. Their loud breathing filled the room and his hand twined with her left one, fiddling with her engagement ring. When he finally raised his head she met his eyes.

“I forgive you,” she said and felt him harden inside her again.

He dropped his forehead to hers. “You’ll give me a second chance? Give this marriage a real chance?”

“I will.”

They took a hired jet back to New York because Mitchell didn’t want to ride commercial. She couldn’t blame him. Their remaining days in Paris were some of the happiest Grace had experienced. She and Mitchell walked with Evie down Paris streets and stopped in tiny shops for mementos. Grace never imagined that Mitchell could change from the man she’d loved before but she was wrong. He was everything she’d ever wanted- protective, attentive, loving to Evie and he was content to do anything as long as they were together.

When they stepped off the jet in New York the paparazzi wasn’t actually a big surprise and this time Mitchell gladly informed them
of their engagement. The only time he reverted back to the Neanderthal was when she said she wanted to go back to her condo. In his mind, she and Evie would come to his penthouse and get their belongings later. They argued in the limo and he finally gave in when she said she was thinking maybe she and Evie should delay moving in with him until after the wedding. He wasn’t happy but he could see that Evie shouldn’t be hopping from place to place.

“I’m giving you a week to get your things to my place,” he growled as he stood in the doorway to her condo.

She patted his chest. “Okay.”

“I mean it.” He grasped her hand and kissed the palm before he turned to
Evie and blew raspberries in her neck, making her shriek.

“Dada!”
Evie shouted.

“Daddy will be back.
”

He handed
Evie to Maggie who beamed at them. He turned to leave and then shot another threatening glare at Grace.

“I mean it.
A week, Grace.”

She blew him a kiss and waved.

The next morning she gave Maggie the day off. She protested but admitted that she did want to give the gifts she’d bought to her friends. Grace was giving herself a couple of days with Evie before she went back to the office. She had several calls to make in between feeding Evie but she noticed belatedly that it wasn’t as impossible as it had been just a month ago. Maybe Evie was getting older or she was becoming more adept at handling everything at once.

She just finished changing Evie’s diaper when the doorbell rang. A smile quirked her lips as she put Evie on her hip and opened the door. She felt as if she’d been doused in ice cold water. Ray stood in her doorway, dressed in a conservative black suit and red silk tie. His hair was slicked back in its normal style and the way his eyes burned over her was familiar as well. Fury and disgust flickered through cold eyes. She wasn’t aware of moving back but all of a sudden he was in her home and slamming the door behind him.

“Get out,” she said and held Evie protectively against her. She didn’t trust Ray any more than she trusted Vicky. They were both poisonous people.  

“Your engagement’s all over the papers this morning,” he spat.

Grace braced herself. “I told you to get out.”

He didn’t even seem to notice Evie who was uncharacteristically quiet and still as if she recognized how dangerous Ray was. Ray’s eyes were fixed murderously on Grace and that blinded him to everything else.

“I’m not going anywhere until you get it through your head that you’re going to break it off with Mitchell.”

“That’s not going to happen,” she said in a voice that wasn’t as strong as she wanted it to be.

“Didn’t that worthless whore give you the message?” he shouted.

Evie began to cry and he focused on her. Grace took another step back as she saw the hatred in his eyes grow.

“She looks just like you and Vicky.” The tendons on the sides of his neck stood out starkly.

He was like a bomb waiting to detonate and she knew he was beyond reason. She tried to take a step towards the phone but he took two aggressive steps forward and she froze in alarm. Ray had always been hostile around her but he had never physically hurt her until the night she revealed she knew exactly who he was. She didn’t know how far he would go to ensure she kept her distance from Mitchell. She wanted to go head to head with him once and for all but having Evie present kept her quiet and watchful instead.

“Are you sure your sister didn’t sleep with Mitchell? I wouldn’t be surprised. Anything that comes from Vicky is going to be just like her.”

“Don’t you dare talk about Casey!” she shouted and instantly regretted her outburst when Evie clutched at her. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry.” She turned furious eyes on her father. “Get out or I’m calling the cops.”

His superior sneer sent alarm skating down her spine. “You think the police will believe a woman like you? If they dig deep enough they’ll find out about Vicky and realize you’re just like her. Desperate, loose and unfaithful. How would Mitchell feel if I told him I found you with another man? Who would he believe? You or me?”

She felt sick. “What do you want?”

He stalked forward. “I want you to stay away from Mitchell. He deserves better than you.”

She set the screaming baby in a playpen so she could focus on the threat in front of her. This confrontation had been a long time in coming and it would end here. She was tired of being threatened, of being ashamed of her mother, of feeling like trash. It was time to end this. Cold anger burned her chest. This man acted as if she was an infectious disease that leeched off of others when it couldn’t be further from the truth. Ray was a cold and ruthless man and she knew he detested the very sight of her. He didn’t want her with Mitchell who he considered above her in class and intelligence. Despite what Mitchell said, Ray could only see the same sensuality in her that Vicky used to trap him all those years ago and he couldn’t stand it.

“You and Vicky both hate me and do everything in your power to punish me for your affair but I’m tired of both of you treating me like dirt. I deserve to be happy. I deserve better from both of you!” she said in a rock steady voice. “I’m different from Vicky and no matter what you tell Mitchell, he loves me. We’re getting married. We love each other despite your meddling and he wants to adopt Evie so Vicky can’t take her from me.”

Ray held up a hand, halting her speech. “Did you just say Mitchell wants to adopt that brat?” He pointed a finger at Evie who was still screaming, arms outstretched towards Grace.

She couldn’t believe this man was her father. Neither of her parents had a caring bone in their body. Her mom was a manipulative, abusive alcoholic and her father was a blind sexist. What did that make her?

“Yes, Ray and there’s nothing you can do about it so leave!”

He pointed a threatening finger at her. “You think you can fight me? Don’t you know who I am? I’m godfather to the man you’re trying to marry.”

“I know exactly who you are. You’re the man who cheated on his wife, got his mistress pregnant and then got blackmailed for millions.”

She didn’t see it coming. She went from staring at him to finding herself flat on the ground, blinking up at the ceiling. Her chest hurt and she was gasping for breath. Her ears were ringing. The back of her head throbbed and when she reached back her hand came away wet with blood. She heard Evie screaming and the sickening sound of fists meeting flesh. She turned her head and saw Mitchell straddling Ray as his fists flew. Max was trying unsuccessfully to pull Mitchell off of Ray. Grace blinked several times. Maybe she was dreaming. She drifted off and came to when she heard Mitchell calling her name. His face was ashen and his eyes were wide with panic as he ran his hands over her.

“Grace? Grace, are you okay? Talk to me.” He pulled her into a sitting position and she shook her head to clear it.

“Evie?”

“She’s fine. Is anything broken?”

“Ribs are bruised.”

“How do you know they’re not broken?”

“I’d know,” she said grimly and looked around for Ray. “Where is he?” She focused on the smear of blood on his cheek. “You fought him?”

He released her and got to his feet, staring down at her with furious, tortured eyes. “I opened the door in time to see him hit you.” He turned from her, breathing heavily. “I heard everything.”

She didn’t know what to say. She never wanted him to know this side of Ray.

Mitchell pinned her with hot eyes. “You never once thought to tell me that my godfather is your father? Ray is the man your mom blackmails and who hates the sight of you?”

“Mitchell,” she said and stopped when he held up a hand.

“Am I right? Ray’s your father?”

There was no use lying. She nodded and he let out a strangled sound of rage.

“You make me feel so goddamn helpless! Do you know how I felt when I heard him yelling at you and I realized I didn’t have a key to get in? Hearing him insult you and beat the hell out of you? I almost killed him. If the other guards hadn’t been here, I might have.” He ran his hands feverishly through his hair. “I love you and that means I take care of you but how can I when you won’t tell me who’s threatening you? What if I hadn’t come by today? Would you keep this from me? I want to protect you and I keep failing because you don’t trust me!”

“I do,” she said weakly.

“No! You don’t! Don’t you think I deserve to know what he’s capable of? I can’t believe this. Just when I think you’re beginning to trust me something like this happens. Is there anything else I should know? Perhaps you already have another child with someone else or you’re already married or something? Surely, with all the skeletons in your closet, this can’t be it?” Mitchell’s voice dripped with sarcasm and rage.

“I didn’t know Ray was my father until the day I left you,” Grace said shakily.

He froze. “What?”

“Vicky saw Ray and I in a picture and knew how much he must hate having me date his godson. She thought it was funny how I was in his inner circles never knew I saw my father at least once a week.”

She slowly, carefully got to her feet and sat on the couch because the room began to spin. Mitchell poured himself a glass of scotch and took a healthy swallow. She saw the glass tremble in his grasp. He strode to the window and back, looking like a caged tiger that wanted nothing more than to hunt something down and rip it apart.

“Where is he?”

“The guards outside have him. The cops are on their way. Max is with Evie.”
  

She took a deep breath and braced herself. “Maybe I should have told you about Ray but I thought of him as my problem, not yours. He honestly loved you and I thought I could handle him on my own but when he heard about the engagement and that you wanted to adopt Evie he lost control.”

He slammed the empty glass down on the counter, making her jump. He stalked forward until he stood directly before her, hands fisted at his sides. He was so pissed his whole body shook.

“He became nothing to me the moment he said a thing against you. It makes me sick when I think how I confided in him, how much I trusted him and all along you knew better. I just don’t understand you, Grace. I don’t. It’s almost like you wanted to keep him between us.”

She shook her head and stopped immediately, grimacing at the pain. “That’s not true.”

“You think I would pick Ray over you?” When she didn’t answer he let out an aggravated hiss. “You think so little of yourself?”

Her blood heated and despite feeling like crap, she got to her feet to face him. Maybe telling Mitchell would have stopped Ray confronting her in her home and attacking her. Maybe not. Either way nothing she said now could change what occurred and she had her reasons for not telling him about Ray. One was because she didn’t think she could handle it if he didn’t believe her and second because Mitchell loved Ray. How do you tell someone that the person they look up to is an evil person?

“How could I, Mitchell? He’s the only father you have and he loves you. He’s your business partner and you go to his house during the holidays. You respect him. After all that’s happened in the past month telling you about my asshole father wasn’t on the top of my list!”

“When we were in Texas you kept bringing him up. He’s a big reason you wouldn’t come back to me but you wouldn’t tell me that. Why?”

She rubbed her aching head with trembling fingers. “I was trying to remind myself that if I took you back, Ray came with you.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me that your dad pays you visits like this where you’re in danger?”

She winced as his voice rose. Her body felt battered and even sitting upright was a challenge. All she wanted was Mitchell to come over to her and just hold her. She wanted him to tell her that knowing who her father was didn’t change anything between them but she could already see she was very wrong. She wanted to sink into the couch cushions and go to sleep.

“He’s never come here before. It’s because he cut Vicky off that she wants Evie. Ray told Vicky if she wants her money that I have to stop seeing you.”

He stared at her so long that she finally looked up. His gaze was focused beyond her and the rage faded, leaving his face pale and somber.

“You won’t let me in no matter what I do,” his voice was subdued now. “You’re always going to keep your problems to yourself and handle it on your own terms. I want to be your partner but how can that happen when you don’t think you need anyone? I don’t know how to handle you.”

“You think that I’m the only one that held back in the two years we were together
? Did you tell me you love me?”

“Why would I when you kept parts of yourself from me? I was waiting for you to introduce me to the family, to make some move that would let me know that we weren’t just great in the sack
but you never took that step.”

She could feel him slipping through her fingers. She thought they passed the biggest hurdles this week in Paris only to come to one he couldn’t accept. He couldn’t stand that she hadn’t told him the truth about her father.

“It’s done, Mitchell,” she whispered.

“No.” He focused on her. “Now I have to call his wife and tell her everything. It’s gonna be hell.”

She thought of Ray’s sweet, naïve wife. How could her parents inflict so much damage on so many people? She hung her head. She felt so guilty even though she knew this wasn’t her fault. Her parents were adults and they were responsible for their own actions. The phrase “don’t air your dirty laundry” kept floating through her mind. If Mitchell hadn’t come when he had, would she have told him?

As if following her line of thought Mitchel said, “How far would Ray have to go before you told me the truth?”

For the first time since Ray entered the condo Grace felt tears rise in her eyes. She wore bruises inflicted by a father who hated every breath she took, who cared nothing for her. She looked up at Mitchell, a man who cared so much it frightened her. Mitchell had the ability to do twenty things at once and keep them all in line. He was gorgeous, wealthy and when he set his mind to something he never let up. She admired him and was proud to be seen by his side when they were together that she didn’t want to mar his opinion of her by opening up the can of worms that was her family. Now her worst fears were being played out in front of her and she was ashamed, lost and sore.