Can't Let Go (6 page)

“I think I’m just going to do something small for Casey. I don’t want to drag this out,” Grace murmured as she watched
Evie’s eyes flicker shut.

He nodded.
“Sounds best.”

“When are you going home?” she asked,
without looking at him.

“When you’re ready.”

“Mitch, you’ve done a lot. You don’t have to stay.”

“You need help,” he insisted, eyes on
Evie.

“I can handle this,”
Grace said defensively because she was thinking the same thing.

“You’re exhausted, I’m exhausted. We’ll talk in the morning,” he said and walked into his suite.

Grace leaned down to stroke Evie’s petal soft cheek.

“Do you miss your mommy?” she whispered. “I do.”

She checked her cell to see if her mom returned her call. There were a lot of messages but none from her mother. The nurse mentioned that hospital tried to contact her as well. Where was she?

The next days were a blur of errands and coping with Evie. There were phone calls to make, emails to answer and Grace struggled to watch, feed, change and entertain Evie while taking care of business. She had never been more tired in her life. At times Evie would hurt herself or cry and Grace almost called out for Casey before she remembered her sister was gone and she was alone. 

Mitchell als
o had business to take care of. She heard the rumble of his voice drifting out of the connecting suite. He didn’t close the doors and despite Grace’s best efforts, Evie seemed drawn to Mitchell’s New York accent. Evie was fascinated by the first male in her life and Mitchell never turned her away even when he was on the phone. Grace saw the same uncertainty on Mitchell’s face that she felt but he never pulled away from Evie even when he didn’t know what he was doing. Despite never being around children he handled Evie with extreme care and he was a quick learner in figuring out how to keep her distracted. Grace took these moments to take care of her own business and grab a bite to eat before she went into his suite to grab Evie. Grace always felt his eyes on her but she never looked at him. She didn’t want to see the expression on his face. The enforced intimacy of being together after avoiding him for a year set her teeth on edge but she had no choice. He refused to leave and she needed the help.

Evie
’s toys and clothes appeared in the suite along with baby food, diapers and anything else a seven month old needed. Some of the things she knew came from Casey’s house but she didn’t ask how he accomplished the feat. She wasn’t capable of going there and dealing with Casey’s things. Grace didn’t know what to say to Mitchell so she said nothing. Grace was playing on the floor with Evie when she smiled, a smile so reminiscent of Casey that Grace’s eyes filled with tears.

“Mum
mum,” Evie said.

Grace felt as if her heart was ripping. How could
Evie grow up never knowing Casey? Casey was generous, gentle and didn’t have a mean bone in her body. Despite being nineteen, Casey took on the responsibility of being a mother as if she’d been doing it all her life. Casey was so in tune with her daughter she knew intuitively just by the tone of her cry what Evie needed. Grace was a poor substitute for Casey. If only she could talk to Casey one more time…

Grace
didn’t realize she was sobbing until Mitchell crouched in front of her. He reached out and rubbed a hand down her back.

“Grace?” he murmured and pulled back when
Evie crawled over to him.

Grace tried to get a hold on herself but it was like trying to stop rain falling from the sky.
Grief consumed her. The depth of her pain was so deep she was swept into a sea of emotions she couldn’t control. She wiped her eyes and tried to stop the tears but they wouldn’t be held back a moment longer. She didn’t care that Mitchell was sitting there, watching her. She couldn’t even stop for Evie’s benefit who was staring at her with scared eyes. She wasn’t sure how long the crying session lasted. All she knew was that when the wrenching crying slowed she had a blinding headache and she felt nauseated.

She was on the carpet by herself. Mitchell came out of his suite and she realized he had taken Evie into another room. More tears surfaced as
Mitchell picked her up and took her to the bedroom. He put her beneath the covers and brought her peppermint tea, Tylenol and a box of Kleenex. When she tried to get out of bed to see Evie he held her down.

“I can handle
Evie. You’re upsetting her,” he said.

Guilt, grief and exhaustion washed over her a
nd she sagged into the pillows as she sipped the tea and downed the Tylenol.

“I just want to see her,” Grace said.

Mitchell let out an impatient sound and left the room. He came back a minute later with Evie who waved a rattle in his face. Mitchell put Evie on the bed and she crawled to Grace’s feet which created bumps under the duvet. Evie was fascinated and started teething on Grace’s feet through the sheets.

“I’m not mommy material,” Grace
sighed.

Mitchell let out a snort. “Where’d you get that stupid idea?”

“From my parents.” She clutched the bed sheets in shaking hands. “I don’t want to be like either of them.”

“Then you won’t be,” Mitchell said
practically.

Evie
fussed and Mitchell tried to change her focus to some of the toys scattered around the room. Evie launched herself away from him, face creasing as she began to wail. He held her in his arms and tossed her in the air and caught her which distracted her but not for long. Evie was restless, edgy and irritated.

“
I need to get her out of this room,” Mitchell said.

“I’m coming too
.”

She was
at her wit’s end and the hotel room, no matter how spacious was giving her cabin fever. She threw back the covers and followed Mitchell out of their suite to the elevator. He hit the button for the floor with the pool. Not understanding his reasoning but too weary to care she followed Mitchell and Evie into the pool room. Evie was immediately distracted by the reflection of water and the sound of people swimming.

Mitchell settled at the edge of a lounge, balancing
Evie between his thighs. Grace sat on the chair beside them and watched Evie jump excitedly, clapping her hands as someone did laps in the pool. Mitchell smiled down at Evie and smoothed her curls with a large hand.

Grace didn’t know what to think about
Mitchell. He wasn’t known for being kind or considerate of others. He was known for his ruthless and manipulating nature yet here he was taking time away from business to help his ex-lover take care of her orphaned niece. Why? She knew he wanted her back but she never thought he would go this far to get back in her good graces. The worst thing was that she didn’t think he was faking this. He genuinely liked Evie and despite never meeting Casey, he knew how much Grace loved her sister and wanted to help in any way he could. It made her feel… strange. All the anger, hurt and bitterness she harbored for a year was easing away as she watched him with Evie. She couldn’t deny that his help was valuable. Before she could think of something Evie needed, he was having it delivered.

Ever since she received that call from the hospital s
he felt as if she were in an alternate universe. She kept expecting Casey to come around the corner or to wake up and realize that this was all a bad dream. Not so. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that she would never see Casey again. If she’d come to Texas early… she closed off that thought. Feeling guilty wouldn’t bring Casey back.

After a half hour
Evie yawned and Mitchell stood. Grace shook away her grim thoughts and walked beside Mitchell to the door of the pool room. A woman held the door open and smiled at them.

“Your daughter’s gorgeous,” the woman said.

Mitchell missed a step and Grace’s heart skipped. A part of her wanted to snatch Evie out of Mitchell’s arms and explain to the lady that Mitchell was just helping her through a difficult time but the newly grateful part of her stopped the defensive words. No matter how she felt about Mitchell she wasn’t in any state to push him away and handle all of this on her own.

“Thanks,” Grace said and urged Mitchell on.

The silence in the elevator was uncomfortable and she winced when Mitchell passed Evie over. He unlocked the suite and Grace set Evie down in her crib for a nap before she went out to the living room where Mitchell paced.

“It was an honest mistake,” Grace said in a placating tone as she settled on the couch.

There was a strange look on his face she couldn’t define. Was it panic? When they were together she had gone out of her way not to crowd him. Mitchell had a strong personality and he was used to doing what he wanted, when he wanted. It took her by surprise when he ordered her to move in with him. Although Mitchell rarely committed to a woman, when he did he expected the woman to be by his side. He was always so sure of himself that seeing him out of his comfort zone reassured her he was human. Mitchell paused and turned to her.

“She thought I was
her father.”

His voice was confused and dazed. Grace’s lips twitched.
She had never heard him dumbfounded before.

“You’re a natural
.”

Ma
ybe she was more tired than she realized if she was teasing Mitchell about babies. Mitchell didn’t even hear her. He continued to pace.

“I can’t believe how much she looks like you. She even has your temperament.”

Grace scowled. “Excuse me?”

“
She’s always pushing to see how far she can go, she’s restless and stubborn and makes everyone smile.”

Grace blinked at the unexpected flattery. She hadn’t slept more than ten hours in four days, her eyes were puffy from constant tears and she hadn’t brushed her hair
today. Mitchell continued to pace, a pensive expression on his face.

“Are you leaving?” Grace asked.

He stopped. “Why would I?”

“You freaked that a stranger thought you were
Evie’s dad.”

He settled on the couch
across from her. He blew out a breath. “I never thought I’d be a dad, much less be mistaken for one. I was just… startled.”

“
You’re good at distracting her,” she offered.

“I was always cooped up in a h
otel while my parents worked. The pool room was my refuge.” He eyed her carefully. “You look better.”

“I think getting out of here for a while was a good idea
.” A comfortable silence fell and she clasped her hands in her lap and swallowed. “Thank you for coming with me.”

He nodded and didn’t say anything. She felt like a heel. After everything she’d done to discourage him he was here when she needed him most. No one else would have stuck this out. On top of the baby, Mitchell also had to deal with Grace’s unexpected bouts of tears.

“No. I mean it. You’ve taken care of whatever Evie needs and I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”

“I told you whatever you need, I’ll give it,” he said quietly.

He held her gaze and her heart fluttered.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re going to be a great dad,” she said quietly before she got up and left the room.

The day of Casey’s funeral was a bright Texas day without a cloud in sight. Grace couldn’t focus and her hands shook as she dressed Evie who sensed her precarious mood. Evie wouldn’t take her bottle or the baby food Grace tried to feed her. She fussed and only calmed when Mitchell carried her. As Grace requested, Casey’s funeral was small. Ten people showed up to pay their respects. The service was short and sweet and Grace could feel herself falling apart as she stared at the picture of her sister and Evie that stood at the front of the church. Tears rolled down her face as she held Evie who stared up at her with big eyes and started gabbing unintelligibly as if asking what was wrong. It made Grace cry harder. Mitchell took Evie as Grace broke down completely. She covered her face with her hands and hunched over in the pew and sobbed. Mitchell’s big hand rubbed over her back. There were murmurs and concerned words and then silence.

“Grace?” Mitchell said gently.

“How can I say goodbye? I’m not ready,” Grace whispered.

“We’re never ready for death,” he said in such a way
that she raised her head and looked at him.

They were alone in the church. The pews were empty and the stained glass windows cast colo
red light over the stage. The picture of Casey and Evie was surrounded by large lilies. How had Mitchell known they were Casey’s favorite?

“Who did you lose?”

“I lost both of my parents when I was eighteen,” he said, bouncing Evie on his lap.

She blew her nose and watched
Evie smile up at him. Seeing Evie’s delight dimmed the storm of grief within her. Before she met Mitchell she heard how he took over his father’s business at eighteen but she had never asked what happened to his parents. A thought occurred to her.

“And
Ray was there to help you?”

He nodded. “
Ray taught me hands on what it took to be successful. I owe him for everything I have today. I was angry for a long time after my parent’s died. He helped me push through it.”

Grace didn’t understand Ray. He had no children of his own and he despised Grace but there was no doubt that he loved Mitchell, the son of his best friend and business partner.
At times Grace saw pieces of Ray in Mitchell and it frightened her but at this moment it all seemed far away and unimportant. Her head was pounding and she didn’t care what their history was. She leaned into Mitchell and he put his arm on the back of the pew and she leaned into his warmth. Evie had her face pressed sideways against his chest, mouth hanging open as she napped in the afternoon heat. Neither of them said anything for a long time.

“You don’t have to say goodbye yet,” Mitchell said.

“Okay,” she whispered and forced herself to stand.

Mitchell
carried Evie in one arm and put the other around her as she donned oversized sunglasses. When they stepped outside Grace froze, stunned when she saw Mitchell’s bodyguards holding back at least twelve paparazzi. They shouted questions, rousing Evie who started to cry.

“Are you back together?” someone shouted.
             

“Is she
your daughter?” another reporter demanded.

Mitchell rapped out commands
and his bodyguards made a path to his car. Mitchell handed Evie to Grace as soon as they got into the car. He pulled out his phone and started snapping commands at Max.

“How did they know?” Grace asked quietly.

Mitchell looked back at her, face tight with anger. “I’ll find out.”

Grace
rocked Evie as they made their way back into the city. When they arrived at the hotel Grace was alarmed to see no less than twenty reporters waiting on the steps. She put a blanket over Evie for privacy as they pushed their way through the ruckus to the lobby. Workers and other guests turn to watch and whisper as they made their way to the elevators. When they got back to the suite Grace took Evie into their suite to change and feed her. When she set Evie down for a nap and walked into the living room she found Mitchell waiting for her.

“We’re on the news,” he informed her and she missed a step
as she headed for the kitchen.

She didn’t comment as she
filled a mug with hot water. She knew Mitchell followed and was waiting for her to say something. It was a reality check she didn’t need right now. Here she was, trying to cope with Casey’s death and it was going to be splashed across the tabloids and gossiped about. She thought of the picture the paparazzi snapped: Mitchell holding Evie in one arm and her with the other. Everyone would assume they were back together. The picture spoke for itself. What would the headline be?
Tycoon comforts ex lover amidst tragedy?
She didn’t want to know. This was exactly what she didn’t want for Evie- to be in tabloids with trashy headlines.

Something made her ask,
“Does Ray know you’re here with me?”

He frowned. “No. Why?”

She thought of Ray’s reaction to seeing them on the news and rubbed her temples. Hadn’t she told him she wanted nothing to do with Mitchell and yet here she was. If he was angry before, he would be livid now. Knowing Ray, he probably thought she was callous enough to use her sister’s death and lean on Mitchell for sympathy.

“This doesn’t concern Ray,” he said, gesturing between them.

You have no idea, she thought wryly. She would let Mitchell deal with Ray. She wasn’t capable at the moment.

“It’ll blow over,” she said quietly and
dipped her tea bag in the hot water.

“You’re not bothered by all the press?”

Her eyes fixed on him and he saw the signs of strain on her face but he saw strength there too. She was prioritizing in that practical brain of hers. The moment in the church when she leaned into him was the first sure sign he was making progress and now it was front page news. He knew there was no better way to have her pulling away from him than paparazzi putting Evie in the media.

“Of course I am but what’s done is done. We’ll go back to New York and go our separate ways and everyone will go onto the next sensation.”

His hands fisted in his pockets. “I want to help with Evie.”

She paused with the mug halfway to her lips.
“How?”

He gestured around the suite that had been their home for the past
week. It had a lived in feel now with their jackets thrown over the couch and toys scattered here and there. Why had he felt so threatened by just the thought of living in a scene like this?

“You need a break sometimes. I can help.”

She laughed and it lit up her face for a moment. “Mitch, I can’t imagine calling you to babysit. That’s really sweet of you but I’ll figure it out. You have your empire to run. I know you’ve got millions of things to do. I just have to switch some things around in my schedule.”

He hated the way she was pushing him away again.
That moment of vulnerability, of need in the church was gone and she’d built up her walls again. He genuinely liked Evie. She was curious, unguarded and loving… and she was a mirror image of Grace. How could he not fall for her?

“So you’re going to raise
Evie in the city?”

He tried
to keep his voice even. He wanted to shake her but she didn’t need him pushing when her sister’s funeral was less than an hour ago.

Grace grimaced. “I
have to. That’s where the boutique is.” She sipped her tea and tapped her fingernails on the counter. “How am I going to do this? I work more than fifty hours a week and-”

“Weren’t you telling me
Amy could handle the boutique without you? You could delegate and check in once or twice a week.”

“That’s true.”

She moved to the living room and sat on the couch and tucked her legs beneath her. Mitchell followed her and sat, thumbing through emails and messages on his phone. He calmly put his business to the side and gave her his full attention. She took a deep breath.

“I don’t know how I’m going to repay you for
all this. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t barged into my condo,” she said wryly.

She needed to get her mind off of Casey’s death, off of how her life was going to change.
The future was just a big blank right now and she didn’t have to face that until she got on the jet tomorrow. Right now she could put it off and as a distraction there was nothing better than Mitchell. They were actually very similar- focused, business oriented and confident. It was what made their relationship last- that understanding that sometimes they had to come second because there was business to take care of. She felt secure in their relationship. Mitchell was direct and committed to her- so she’d thought. When he turned on her she hadn’t been prepared.

He shrugged. “You
made up your mind to come back into society. You never miss an opportunity to make contacts at a party. I knew something was wrong.”

“I have no idea what I’m going to do,” she confided, running a hand through he
r hair. “I have a baby now.” Her eyes were huge with apprehension. “What if I can’t do this?”

She couldn’t believe she was talking to Mitchell out of all people. A week ago, just the sight of him made her ill. Now, here she was confessing her worst fears. What changed?
At some point between getting Evie from the hospital and the funeral she put their past to the side.

“You can,” he said firmly. “You’ll work it out.
You’ve never let anything stand in the way of what you want. The same energy you put into business, you can channel into Evie.”

Grace moved to New York after high school and started off as a housekeeper at a prestigious hotel and befriended a woman who owned a boutique. She came to love the store and its owner who passed several years ago and left the store to Grace. She’d been struggling to keep the boutique alive when she attended a social event and attracted Mitchell Price’s attention. He
offered to invest in the boutique to keep it going. With his influence, she gained an exclusive clientele and her profits exceeded any figures she could’ve imagined. That felt like a lifetime ago.

Her mouth twisted. “
I feel so lost right now but women do this every day.” Her eyes grew distant as she thought. “I never thought of having kids myself.”

Grace realized what she said too late. She saw that apologetic look on his face again and she shot up from the couch as she realized the
easiness between them was gone.

“I better get to bed. We’re heading back to New York tomorrow.”

Mitchell got up and grabbed her arm, anchoring her. He tipped her chin up so she had no choice but to look into his eyes which she did defiantly.

“What?”

His hand spread over her cheek, mesmerized all over again by the texture of her. “I regret it every day. If I could do it over-”

She
pushed his hand away. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s over, we’re over.”

“But we’re not over. We’re here right now. It’ll always be between us. I want to
talk about it.”

“No,” she placed her hand on his chest, pushed with no results. “I have to focus on
Evie, on myself. I don’t have time for this.”

“Let me be here for you,” he
murmured. “Let me help.”

“You have helped,” she said to his chest.

He wrapped her up against him before she could react. Her face rested against his broad chest. His warmth engulfed her and the temptation to lean against him for just a moment was overwhelming but she grit her teeth and remained stiff and unyielding, refusing his comfort.

“
Maybe we can be friends one day but the way you touch me isn’t right,” she mumbled into his chest.

“You like the way I touch you,” he said, rocking her from side to side.

“I hate the way you touch me. You act like I’m yours.”

“You are mine.”

“
Used
to be. Not anymore.”

He rubbed his cheek against the top of her head and her eyes drifted shut despite her best eff
orts to rebuff him. His hands moved up and down her back, urging her closer. There was so much history between them, so much emotion that just for a second, she moved into him. They still fit. He shuddered against her. She could feel how much he wanted her. She was so damn tired of fighting him, seeing him, wanting him. Sex was sex wasn’t it? She could sleep with him and leave him.

“I need you,
Grace,” he said into her hair.

“
You don’t.”

“I do. What I said
that day doesn’t change what we had between us.”

She tilted her head back so she could look into his face.
“It changed everything.”

“I won’t stop.”

“Why?” she whispered. “You’re too late.”

“Say you don’t w
ant me. Tell me you feel nothing when I’m near.”

She searched dark eyes
filled with need and knew she couldn’t. His presence during this week had been invaluable and she couldn’t stop the yearning that filled her every time she looked at him. She wished the things he said canceled out her need for him but being in such close proximity to him made the yearning almost unbearable.