Capital Bride (2 page)

“I’m here with some news.”

Sarah’s stomach clenched. “News?”

“Yes, I might as well get right to it. I’ve sold the house. You and MaryAnn will need to be out by the end of the month.”

Stricken, Sarah said, “William, we have nowhere to go until the 8
^th
of May.”

“If it were socially acceptable I’d have you come live with me, but…”

“You’d never find a wife with a tainted woman and her bastard child living under your roof.”

“Sarah—”

“No, I’m well aware what society thinks of me. They’ve been very open in sharing it.”

William took a deep breath. “So, I’ve arranged for you to stay at the Booking’s Boarding House until you find other lodgings, which it sounds like you have. What are you going to do?”

“I’m getting married.”

“Married?” He turned his back on her and faced the fire warming his hands. “I hadn’t realized you were engaged.”

“I’m becoming a mail order bride. It’s the only way I can start my life over. I can’t stay here.”

He turned back to her and took her hands in his. “You could always stay and marry me. At least, you know me.”

“You’re my cousin and though it may be legal, you know that I find the thought repellant. Not that I don’t love you but not in the way you want.” She took her hands from his. “I just can’t. You’ve been more than kind to me and if….”

“No. Don’t worry. My generosity is not dependent on you becoming my wife. It will not change the arrangements I’ve made for you.”

Sarah let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Thank you. I have to go next door and get MaryAnn. Mrs. Adams has been kind enough to watch her for me while I’ve been looking for work.”

“I take it nothing has panned out so you are taking this drastic step?”

“I’ve only been a mother. I’m not qualified to do anything else that would support us.”

“Very well. I shall leave you to it.” He picked up his hat and gloves from the side table next to the sitting room door. “I will see you on Sunday, as usual. You can fill me in on your plans and this man you’ve promised to marry.”

“You know,” said Sarah, “you really should consider proposing to Caroline Kendall. She does admire you very much.”

He stopped, cocked his head just a bit and asked, “Does she now? Do you think she’d accept my suit?”

“I don’t know why not.”

“Well, you don’t seem to have any problem turning me down.” He stepped closer, eyes dropping to her lips for a brief moment. “Sure you won’t change your mind?”

She stepped back with a fond but regretful smile. “I’m sure.”

“Then perhaps I should call upon Miss Kendall. I do need to consider a wife and heir to continue the Grayson name.”

“Yes, you should.”

“Goodnight, Sarah. Until Sunday.”

“Sunday. Perhaps you would like to bring Miss Kendall with you to luncheon?”

“What a splendid idea! You can act as chaperone.”

“I’ll prepare something special.”

“It’s a good thing that Cook taught you what she did. I must admit you do a fine job.”

“Thank you.”

“Well, goodnight then.”

Sarah followed him out and went next door to get MaryAnn. She always tried to let her daughter stay with Mrs. Adams as long as possible. It did them both good. MaryAnn struggled to understand Aunt Gertrude’s death and Agnes Adams missed her grandchildren who had recently moved to Boston when her son’s law firm sent him there.

She knocked on the door.

The butler opened it. “Ah, there you are, Miss Johnson. Please come in. You’ll find Miss MaryAnn and the mistress are having tea in the parlor. May I take your hat and coat?”

Sarah smiled and handed her things to him. “I don’t know how you do it, Peters. How can you keep up with those two fireballs? I’m surprised you’re not having tea with them.”

“I was invited, Miss, but had to decline. I had other duties to attend to.”

They walked together to the parlor. Peters opened the door and held it for her. What she saw made her smile. Agnes had had Peters bring down the small table and chairs from the nursery. She and MaryAnn were at the tiny table drinking tea and eating strawberry scones with clotted cream. One of MaryAnn’s favorites, as Agnes knew perfectly well.

MaryAnn looked up when Sarah entered the room.

“Mama,” she said in a very stately tone, “we’re having High Tea. Mrs. Adams says this is what they did when she was a little girl.”

Sarah smiled. She enjoyed watching her daughter with the old woman. “How nice of her to share this with you.” She turned to Agnes. “I hope she hasn’t been much trouble for you.”

“Not at all, my dear. I enjoy having her here.”

“I’m afraid it’s only for another couple of weeks. William has sold the house and MaryAnn and I will be leaving the city on May eighth.”

“Sit down, dear, and have a cup of tea. Then tell me all your news.”

Sarah took one of the small chairs at the little table.

“Tea?” asked Agnes.

“Yes, please.”

“MaryAnn, would you please pour a cup for your mother?”

“I’d be delighted,” answered her little girl, so grown up. Sarah’s heart twisted in her chest. MaryAnn had missed so much being raised without other children. She was so mature for her five years.

“Now, my darling. Tell me where you’ll be headed.”

“I’m hoping we’ll be leaving for the Colorado Territory. A place called Golden City. It’s the territorial capital, so not too small a city, I hope. Perhaps once we are settled and it looks to work, you’ll come out.”

Mrs. Adams nodded. “And what will you do there?”

“I’m getting married.”

“Married!”
 

“Yes. You might as well know. I signed on to be a mail order bride. The gentleman I’m going to marry is a cattle rancher and has a daughter around MaryAnn’s age. It’ll be good for MaryAnn to have a playmate.”

“That’s awfully far away. Couldn’t you marry someone closer?”

“Agnes, you know that’s not possible. The only one who would have me is cousin William and I find that idea totally unacceptable. He is my cousin, after all.”

“Understandable. But that doesn’t change my wish you could find someone right here in New York. I’ll never understand society’s shunning of you. You shouldn’t have to pay for one mistake for the rest of your life.”

Though she didn’t see her beautiful daughter, conceived in love, as mistake, she simply smiled. “Thank you but you know the only way I could stay here is to marry William or turn to something unsavory. I’m not qualified for anything else.”

“What about a governess?”

“No one wants a woman who has been ‘soiled’ anywhere near their children for fear that my lack of morals will somehow rub off on them.” She took a sip of her tea.

“Mommy, what is ‘soiled’? Doesn’t that mean dirty?”

“Yes, sweetheart, it does.”

“How can you be dirty? You wash all the time.”

“Yes, I do, don’t I?” laughed Sarah.

MaryAnn nodded vigorously. “And you make me do it, too.”

“Anyway, I will write you,” said Sarah, hoping to distract MaryAnn.

“Mommy.”

“Yes, dear?”

“How can you be dirty and clean at the same time?”

I’ve wondered the same thing myself, thought Sarah, but she said, “Time to tell you the truth. Some people think that because I wasn’t married when I had you that I’m soiled.”

“But you said that Daddy died before you could get married. So it’s not your fault.”

“Most grownups wouldn’t agree with you, sweetie. They think your daddy and I were wrong to share our love before we were properly wed.”

“But aren’t we supposed to share our love with other people?”

“Yes, we are. There are just some rules about grownup love that you don’t understand yet.”

MaryAnn slowly shook her head. “I think it must be real hard to be a grownup.”

Surprised by her baby’s insight, she asked, “Why do you think so?”

“‘Cause. You got to ‘member a whole bunch of kid rules and then there’s a whole bunch of grownup rules and you got to ‘member all them, too.”

Sarah chuckled. “I think you have the right of it. What say you, Agnes?”

The old lady wore a smile. “I’d say you are correct, Miss MaryAnn. And it doesn’t get any easier the older you get because there’s a whole other set of rules for us old people.”

“Agnes, would you care to join us for Sunday luncheon? William will be coming with Ms. Kendall and it will be sort of a farewell celebration.”

“That would be lovely. Remind Peters on your way out, would you?”

“Of course. Say goodbye, MaryAnn.”

MaryAnn went to Agnes and gave her a hug. “Goodbye, Mrs. Adams. Thank you for having a tea party with me.”

“You’re quite welcome, dear girl. Quite welcome, indeed.” Agnes hugged her back like she’d never let her go. It was going to be especially hard to say goodbye to her. Agnes had been Sarah’s rock since Aunt Gertrude died.

Sarah took MaryAnn’s hand and they walked down the stairs where Peters waited with their coats and hats.

“Thank you, Peters. Please remind Mrs. Adams that she is having Sunday luncheon with us. It will be served at one o’clock.”

“Yes, Miss. I shall endeavor to remind her and will escort her myself.”

“Wonderful, you shall join us as well.”

“Oh no, Miss. It’s not done. I shall return here and wait until it’s time to come back and retrieve my mistress.”

Sarah nodded. “Very well. We’ll see you on Sunday.”

As they walked home MaryAnn asked, “Where is Colorado Territory?”

“It’s west of here a very long way. It’s going to take us many days to travel there. Do you think you can be an especially good girl for Mama while we travel?”

“Yes, ma’am. I heard you say he has a little girl. Will she be my sister if you marry her daddy?”

“Yes, I guess she will. Do you think you’ll like having a sister?”

She thought about it a minute before answering. “I think I will. It’ll be nice to have someone small to talk to.”

Sarah smiled. “Yes, it will, won’t it?”

They reached the house and went inside. The fire William built was burning low. Sarah added more wood.
 

In front of the fireplace were two wing chairs. MaryAnn sat in one of them. She looked so small. Her eyes, the pale blue of Sarah’s own, sat in stark contrast to the inky black hair and eyelashes she’d inherited from her father. Except for the eyes, MaryAnn was a miniature of Lee. Everyday Sarah was reminded of the man she loved, whose face would be faded from memory if not for her daughter. MaryAnn kept him alive. Even so, his strong jaw and boisterous laugh were all but gone.

In manner, MaryAnn was totally unlike her father. He’d been fun loving, teasing and always joyful. She was solemn and thoughtful. So much like her mother.

“Mama, why are you crying?”

She hadn’t realized tears trickled from her eyes. Sarah sat in the other chair. “I was just thinking about your father. Come here and let me hold you.”

The little girl dutifully got up and went to her mother, sitting on her lap and relaxing in her arms.

“He was a good man, your father. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.”

“I won’t. How old was he when he died?”

“He was twenty-two, just like me. We’d been sweethearts for as long as I can remember. We always knew we’d get married, but then the war started and he went off to fight. I didn’t see him for so long. He came home wounded. Shot in the shoulder, and we decided as soon as he got out of the hospital we’d marry. We set the date for the following Sunday. He was called back on Friday. We only had a few hours together before he left again. We made the most of them. We made you.”

“Why does it make you sad when you look at me?”

“Oh, my darling, I’m not sad when I look at you. I’m so happy to have you and love you so much. I sometimes cry because I know your daddy will never get to know you.”

“Will I have to call this new man, Daddy?”

“No, not if you don’t want to.” She squeezed her daughter. “Now enough serious talk. Let’s go to the kitchen and make luncheon. I’ll even make us some hot chocolate. What do you think about that?”

Sarah saw her eyes sparkle before she scooted off Sarah’s lap. “I’d like that very much please.”

“Good. Let’s see what we have to eat with that.”

Sarah watched her little girl skip to the kitchen, their serious talk forgotten with the prospect of a sweet treat.

CHAPTER 2

Sarah hoped some day to publish a book of recipes. That’s why she’d written down all of Cook’s recipes. But it wasn’t just to make a book, which she still planned to do, but because she needed them, to use them. She had them carefully tucked away in one of the four steamer trunks she brought. Each trunk was filled to bursting with clothes, shoes and books. She may be going to the frontier but she that didn’t mean she couldn’t be civilized.