Carter (The Harlow Brothers Book 1) (8 page)

Much later, William finally comes outside, asking if we’re hungry. Annie and I share a knowing glance, and we laugh as we make our way inside. I place the coffee mugs in the sink, and lean against the counter as I watch Annie and William banter playfully back and forth. I smile, enjoying listening to them bicker about nothing. I turn away when William sweetly kisses Annie, and walk to the fridge to start making sandwiches for us. I place everything I know we like on the counter when Annie lightly touches my back. “I’ve got this under control.”

“I can help, it’s no problem.” She shakes her head and ushers me to sit down. I sigh and unwillingly take a seat at the table. Annie has always been this way, and I remember how she used to shoo me out of the kitchen when I stayed here when my mother left for a year. As I got older, she let me help some, and she taught me how to cook. I watch her as she moves swiftly around the kitchen, humming to herself. William’s reading the paper, and I realize how peaceful and easy it is here with them. I don’t have to pretend, or try to be perfect. I don’t have to watch what I do or say. It’s an amazing feeling, one that I’m glad I’m able to experience again.

My stomach drops and I snap my head towards the front door when I hear the doorbell chiming. I don’t know why my hands start to sweat, or why suddenly I want to run and hide in my room. I sit like a statue as William folds his paper in half, then slowly walks to answer the door. I know for a fact Easton has no idea where I am. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. I slowly take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I’ve done this every single time since leaving South Carolina. I can only hope one day the fear of Easton finding me will dissipate.

I instantly relax when I hear William’s laugh and a familiar voice. William moves to the side to let Caden in, and I smile at him when he sees me. “Annie, we have enough food for one more?” William asks.

“Of course. Come have a seat, Caden.” Annie turns back to fixing lunch as Caden grabs a chair from the laundry room, then places it beside me.

“Couldn’t stay away?” I playfully ask. Caden has been visiting randomly since I returned, and I want to think it’s because he’s checking in with Annie and William. I haven’t gotten the courage to ask him about Carter, or if he knows I’m here. I have a feeling if he did know, he’d be over to talk to me.

“You know me, Shel. No one can resist Annie’s food.”

I laugh as William chimes in with, “How right you are. It’s the reason for this.” He points to his pot belly. “Right here.” We laugh as William sits down with us. Soon after, Annie places a plate stacked high of sandwiches. After pouring us all a glass of sweet tea, she sits down, and we dig in.

“Thank you for the food, Mrs. Barrett,” Caden says. I laugh, knowing Annie doesn’t like it when anyone calls her that.

“Caden, you know not to call me that.” She shakes her head and mumbles something about making her feel old.

I sit back as I listen to William and Caden talk about restoring an old truck William bought at an auction a few weeks ago. Some of it I understand, but I quickly get lost as they start talking about rebuilding the engine, and what all goes into that. “She’ll be a beauty once we get all the parts, and put her back together,” Caden says.

“She sure will. It’s going to be a challenge, but I made a list of parts we can take to Carl’s Auto later. It’s over there on the table by the phone.”

“I’ll get it,” I tell William. I get up and start rummaging through the pile of mail looking for the list. As I flip through the mail pile, my face falls seeing all of Annie and William’s mail has past due notices on them. I glance back at them, and start to feel guilty. Here I am, bumming off them and they’re behind on bills. I wonder how bad it is, and as I find the list, I decide it’s time to get a job, and start helping them. It’s the least I can do for all they’ve done for me.

I look up at the old treehouse, thinking about climbing up, and taking the chance that the old wood will hold. Caden stands behind me telling me that I shouldn’t do it, but I want to. I’ve stared at it since I’ve been back, and I remember how safe it was being up there when I was younger. It felt as though it was the only place I could climb high enough to escape everything going wrong in my life. Although Annie and I talked this morning, I still feel the need to just sit in my old sanctuary.

“I really don’t think this is a good idea, Shelby. No one’s been up there in years.”

“You chicken, Caden?” I ask, glancing back at him.

“No, I just don’t want to die trying to climb up there.”

“You were always the dramatic one.” I turn back to the treehouse then say, “If Cason were here, he’d do it with me.”

Caden laughs, then says, “I know he would. He’s always been the risk taker out of all of us. I don’t know, Shel. I think Annie and William will be highly upset if they find our broken bodies when they get back from the store.”

“Stop being such a pansy.” Caden laughs, but he doesn’t respond. With my mind made up, I walk to the warped ladder. I hear Caden say a few choice words, but he reluctantly comes up behind me. I slowly start to climb the old ladder, hoping Caden isn’t right. The last thing I need is a trip to the emergency room. I tense when I hear the wood making noises, but I don’t stop. Slowly, I climb higher until I reach the floor opening. I glance down at Caden, and smile knowing I’ve almost made it. He shakes his head, and I take the last step up.

Once I see the porch of the treehouse, I look around, making sure everything at least seems sturdy enough to hold my weight. A rush of fear races through me, but I push it down. I’m this far, and I won’t back down now. I place both hands on the wooden floor, pulling myself up. The floor creaks loudly, and I still for a few moments. I can feel the wind blowing on my face, and I take a deep breath, hoping to calm my racing heart down. Gently, I put more weight on the floor, and stop when I get on my hands and knees. “Shelby?”

My arms start to shake from climbing, holding myself up, and from being so tense, but I manage to call back down to Caden so he doesn’t worry. “I’m fine. It’s holding.”
For now at least
, I think to myself. As I stand, my knees wobble, and I hold my arms out to steady myself. I take a light step forward, making my way to the rail so I can let Caden know I’m alright. Once I reach the railing, and Caden sees me, I grin widely. I can’t believe I’m back in my childhood safe place, and taking everything in seems surreal. I can see the entire backyard now, along with the neighbors outside having a cookout. It’s peaceful being able to look down at the world below me, and I’ve never felt so free. I close my eyes as the wind picks up again, and the sun finally makes an appearance. The sunlight warms my face, and I tilt my head back basking in its warmth.

I open my eyes and turn my head when I hear Caden walking up to me. He looks scared, and I burst out in laughter at his expression. “Stop laughing! I swear, Shel if I die from climbing up here, I’m coming back to haunt you as a ghost.”

“Stop complaining, Caden. It’s fine. Look,” I move away from the rail and start jumping. Caden rushes to the rail, holding on for dear life. “It’s holding just fine. This treehouse is sturdy, and William built it, so we both know he did it properly.”

With wide eyes, Caden lets go of the rail with one hand and wipes the sweat off his forehead. “Don’t do that again. Jesus, do you want this thing to fall apart? And I trust William’s carpenter skills, I just don’t trust how old this wood is.”

“Lighten up, Caden. Obviously, if it was going to fall apart, it would’ve done so by now. Come on, let’s go inside.” I have to beckon Caden a few times before he finally follows me inside. I have to duck as I walk through the door, but once inside, I’m able to stand tall. Glancing around the room, it’s as though I never left. The horror posters I’d collected as a teen still hang on the walls. They’re torn on the edges, but otherwise, still look in good condition. The bean bags we used to sit on are still in the corner, along with some old magazines. A small shelf to the right holds some of my favorite mix tapes, and I notice some action figures from one of the brothers. Caden doesn’t speak as I take it all in, and I’m glad for it. I need a moment to reminisce, to miss all the things I wished I could have again. I make my way to the single window in the treehouse, and gaze outside. So many memories want to rush over me, but only one in particular stands out more than the others.

I reach in my shirt and grab my necklace. I hold onto it tightly as I close my eyes, and let the last memory of my father surface. To the time when I was twelve and had no idea what loss was until that day.

Tears pour down my face, mixing with the rain. It made it hard to see, but I didn’t stop running. I didn’t care who saw me, and didn’t hear anyone if they tried. The rain mixed with the thunder drowned out everything around me. I only had one thing on my mind, and I knew where I needed to go. The one place where I felt the safest. To the place where nothing could hurt me. My breath came out in pants, my lungs burned from exertion, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop until I got there. Water splashed against my bare legs as I ran through puddles of water, and I almost slipped and fell when I rounded the corner to Annie and William’s backyard. I was unsure if they were home, but if they were I knew they’d give me the space I needed.

Once I reached the ladder to the treehouse, I quickly climbed up, and had to stop once I reached the top to wipe my face. The rain fell down on me, and I stood still for a moment, letting it wash over me. I was soaking wet by the time I walked inside, but I didn’t care. I was cold and wet, but nothing could take away the pain I felt. I sat down in the corner and pulled my legs to my chest. I leaned my head on my knees, and I had no idea how I still had tears streaming down my cheeks. My chest felt like it was being torn in two, and I started shaking feeling how cold my clothes were on my skin. I didn’t know how long I sat all alone in the corner, crying hysterically before I heard him. I knew he’d come. He was there when the sheriff told me about my Dad’s accident. The news shouldn’t have shocked me as much as it did. I knew my dad was drunk. I knew he didn’t have anything to live for, not even me. My mother made sure of that. But it’s the pain of knowing he not only killed himself, but he also murdered a mother, father and one of their children. Their little girl was the only one that survived. I didn’t know if she’d live through the pain and suffering of the news once she found out her family was dead. I let out a scream just thinking about it, of how selfish he was. Now, not only is my life utterly shattered, but so is that little girl’s.

“Shelby?”

I lifted my head, hearing his voice, and when he sat beside me, I leaned into him. He pulled me tighter into his embrace as I cried out, and gripped his shirt in my hands. “Why, Carter? Why did he do this to me?” I screamed over and over. I knew he didn’t have the answers. I knew my Dad had a problem, but I thought he was getting better. But once my mother left to go on her selfish trip, Dad started drinking again. I never thought he was this bad off. I never thought he could be stupid enough to drive while intoxicated. The only saving grace out of the whole situation was Mom had made sure Annie and William looked after me while she was gone. I pleaded with her to let me stay with Dad, but she refused to listen. With Dad being all alone, I was just waiting for something bad to happen. I just had a feeling he would go off the deep end.

My soaked shirt clung to me as Carter stroked my back. My cries finally stopped, but I didn’t move out of Carter’s arms, even if he was soaked from the rain. Somehow, his warmth was making me feel warm too. He was my other safe place. The one person I knew that would never leave me. “She did this to him.”

“What do you mean, Shel?”

“My horrible mother. She did this! If she hadn’t left for God knows what, he would still be here. That family would still be here. That little girl wouldn’t be an orphan now.” I raised my head, and turned away from Carter. The tears were back and a lump formed in my throat. It burned, and I felt it all the way down to my stomach.

“Shelby, I … I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, I am too. He was getting better. He’d stopped drinking again, and he actually was my Dad.” I faced Carter as I asked, “Why did she leave him? I don’t understand it, Carter. If she’d never left, if she wasn’t so selfish, he’d still be here, and so would that family. I hate her. I hope she never comes back.”

“I know you’re angry, but you can’t talk like that. Shelby, your dad was sick and it’s not anyone’s fault. I can’t explain why your dad chose to drink and drive, but you and I both know he never meant to hurt anyone.”

I stood and I pointed my finger in his face. I didn’t want to direct my anger at him, but I couldn’t help it. “Don’t you say that! I hate her. I don’t want her to come back, and it is her fault for what happened. If she never left he wouldn’t have started drinking. If she hadn’t left, then he wouldn’t have gotten in the car. He wouldn’t have …” My voice broke, but I don’t stop. My anger was fueling me, and I had to say it out loud because then, I wouldn’t feel like I could die. “I blame her for what happened to that family. It is her fault. Dad drank because my mother didn’t love him. Don’t tell me otherwise. You didn’t live through it. You didn’t see what I did. Don’t you dare say it’s only because he was sick!” My tears flowed down my face again, and I slowly lowered my arm when Carter stood. He didn’t say anything, but I knew he understood. Carter had always understood me.