Catch My Breath (19 page)

“You’re really falling for him, aren’t you?”

“It hit me so hard. I didn’t know what to do other than let it happen.”

“And Danny?” Sara would always protect him. Elliot had to make sure she knew that Danny wasn’t screwing him over.

“He told me first. He said he didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but he had real feelings for me, and he didn’t know what to do, but he couldn’t help it.”

“Okay. Adorable.”

“It’s not adorable. It
sucks
. We’re in this weird situation where we have to pretend we’re just friends, and I forget sometimes, you know? Nobody’s actually seen anything, but it’s hard to act platonic with someone when you’re not.”

“So that’s why they sent you home?”

“Yeah. To take a break from being near him. They don’t know or anything. I guess they just think that we’ll cool our friendship off a little? I don’t really get it to tell you the truth.”

Sara grinned. “And are you guys cooling off?”

“Not after our phone call last night.” Elliot hadn’t meant to say that. It just slipped out. Sara squealed and jumped out of her chair to do a spazzy little dance.

“Oh my God! I can’t
even
!”

“Can’t even what?” Elliot asked.

Sara rolled her eyes. “Handle you two? Deal with the cuteness? I just… can’t.” She started dancing again and giggling.

“I’m in love with him,” Elliot said quietly. It was another thing he hadn’t really meant to admit out loud, but it felt good to finally say the word somewhere else other than the most terrified corner of his heart.

Sara froze and sank back into her seat. “Oh, El,” she whispered. “Really?”

“Yeah. I… I can barely handle how much I feel for him sometimes, like it’s going to come flying out at the wrong moment. I’m scared that it will all the time. There’s always someone watching.”

“How many more weeks in that house?”

“A month.” Elliot both loved it and hated it. He and Danny were close, in the same room, right up against each other constantly—but they were watched. Almost always.

“And then it’s just appearances and stuff for a while.”

“Yeah. But we won’t be living together.”

Sara shrugged. “You’ll be together on the road. And how many eighteen-year-olds live with their boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Elliot sighed. Making that distinction sounded stupid after what he’d just confessed, but they weren’t official. Not like that.

“El, you love him. And from what I’ve seen he loves you too. What you call it doesn’t matter.”

Elliot put his head on his arms. “Sorry,” he said, his voice coming out muffled. He sat up. “I really don’t mean to be so freaking angsty. I never thought this would be me. I—it’s just so much to handle, with the secrets and the band. I feel like a jerk for being anything but grateful for everything.”

“No, I get it. This has to be hard. Maybe having more people on your side would help?” Sara suggested.

“Like who?”

“Me, for one. I can’t
do
anything, but you know I’m here. And how ’bout Reece, Tate, and Webb?”

Elliot had thought about the other guys. How it was unfair not to tell them. A huge part of him wanted to. If only the idea wasn’t so scary. “I really don’t know what to say. Truth is, if this causes any problems, we’re messing with their careers.”

“But it’s too late, isn’t it? It’s not like you and Danny can go back to being platonic.”

“I don’t think we were ever platonic. At least I wasn’t.”

“See? So it doesn’t matter. Think about it at least. I have a feeling those guys would be on your side. They love you too.”

“I know.”

S
ARA
left a little while later, and Elliot relaxed in his room until his mother came home from the store with stuff for them to make dinner. He got a message from the producers that night. Danny had indeed talked them into letting him come back early. They were sending a car for him the next morning. Elliot was elated, happy to see Danny again, excited to be back with the boys, back working, living the life he’d gotten used to. But the prospect was scary.

D
ANNY
had been waiting for Elliot all morning. They’d sent the van for him what felt like hours before. He was huddled in their room with Tate, Reece, and Webb. None of them looked patient. Danny had to remember it had sucked for the other guys to have Elliot gone. And they didn’t even really know why he’d left. They got the same family excuse as everyone else. It wasn’t fair to them and they deserved to know the truth. He wished they could find out without him and Elliot having to say anything. That was the painful part.

The door to their room cracked open, and suddenly there he was, all curls and grins and laughter as the four boys who’d missed him so much pounced and smothered him with hugs.

“Is your mom okay?” Webb asked, ruffling Elliot’s hair.

Elliot looked uncomfortable for a second. “Yeah, she’s fine.” At least it was the truth. Elliot was awful at lying.

“Good. No more leaving?” Reece asked.

At that he could smile, the radiant, perfect Elliot smile Danny didn’t think he’d ever get sick of. “No more leaving.”

“Sweet. Keller is waiting for us at the studio. You ready to go?”

Elliot dropped his duffel bag on the floor and threw his arms around Webb and Danny’s shoulders. “You have no idea.”

R
ECORDING
with everyone back together was really, really nice. They’d gone to the studio once in the three days Elliot had been stuck at home, and things had been productive, but it felt weird. They’d all noticed it. There was a definite shift back to feeling like Static and not just four really good friends singing together ever since Elliot’s return. Danny knew he and Elliot had to watch it, even if there were no cameras in the studio that day, but hell. He was tired of watching it. He’d missed Elliot so much that all he wanted to do was touch him and hold him and pull Elliot down onto his lap to feel that sturdy, warm weight against his body again.

They got away with as much as they could, sitting all squished together in the break room and touching surreptitiously when nobody was looking. They didn’t escape to any closets or empty sound booths to make out. Danny wanted to. Judging by the way Elliot was looking at him, he wanted to as well. But they were both scared, chastened by the lecture they’d gotten less than a week before. Danny didn’t want Elliot to be sent home again.

When Static returned to the house, they had to sit through the longest dinner of Danny’s life
and
a house game of Pictionary. He could’ve sworn he was about to rocket right out of his skin for want of Elliot’s touch. Danny figured he should be used to it. He’d been craving touches and kisses from Elliot since the day they met. Still was.

They escaped to the relative privacy of their room as soon as they could.

“
F
INALLY
,”
was the first thing Elliot said when they were alone, smashed up against the door trading desperate kisses. He obviously felt the same.

They didn’t talk much other than a muttered “yes” or “please” here and there. They didn’t need to talk. Everything Danny needed to say was said by his kisses, wild and hot, sucking on Elliot’s lips, his neck. Everything he needed to hear from Elliot was communicated by breathless groans and seeking fingers running up his back, singeing his nerve endings and setting him on fire.

“I couldn’t stand it any longer,” Elliot finally gasped against Danny’s mouth. “If we didn’t get out of there soon I was about to rip your shirt off in front of everyone.”

“I know. Me too. Sending you home was
not
a good idea. It just made everything worse.”

“Shit,” Elliot said. He pulled Danny’s hips into his, grinding closer, as close as he could. “I don’t want to get in trouble again. We have to be careful.”

“I’m tired of being careful. I want you.” It was reckless and stupid. Danny couldn’t help it.

“I want you too.” Elliot delved back in for a long, slow, crazy kiss. “We just can’t. Not here. It’s too risky.”

Danny reached up and cupped a velvet-smooth cheek, running his fingers up until they tangled in Elliot’s soft curls. “I’m so glad you’re back,” he whispered.

“Hey, guys—” Danny turned in time to see the other door to their room open, the one into the bathroom they shared with the rest of the band. Tate was standing there, mouth open, staring at Danny and Elliot. Elliot’s hands were still up the back of Danny’s shirt, they were standing, plastered against each other with Elliot crowded against the wood of the door. There was zero chance that what they were doing looked platonic. Even by their normal handsy standards.

Tate walked the rest of the way into the room and shut the door.

“How long?” he asked quietly.

“How long what?”

“Danny. How long has this been going on?”

Elliot was the one who answered. “Actually? Not long at all—way after Katie,” he added quickly. “But I’ve had feelings for Danny since the beginning.” He backed away from Danny and went to sit on his bed. “I wanted to tell you guys, but I didn’t know how you’d react.”

“I wanted to tell you too. I tried not to do this. I really did.” Danny was miserable. He couldn’t read Tate’s stoic expression. Was it disgust? Anger? Disappointment?

“I’m going to get Reece and Webb. We all need to talk.”

Tate turned and walked out of the room. Danny took a long shuddering breath. They had a minute tops.

“Oh God,” Elliot whispered. “This is a mess.”

“Yeah. It is.” Danny sank down on the bed next to Elliot. If they had to do this, they were doing it together. Danny didn’t want to be stuck on the opposite side of the room from Elliot, embarrassed and guilty all alone. Less than a minute later, Reece and Webb trailed into the room following Tate. They sat in a line on Danny’s bed. Reece looked unconcerned with his bag of chips, Webb speculative as usual, Tate uncomfortable.

Here we go.

“So….” Danny had no idea how to start. What to say. He looked at Elliot for help, but Elliot looked just as terrified as he felt. He looked at Tate too, but Tate made an “it’s your deal” face and remained silent.

“Danny and I,” Elliot mumbled. He looked at the floor. “Sorry guys. This is really hard.”

“Just spit it out.” Reece crunched at the chip he’d shoved in his mouth. “Whatever it is can’t be a big deal.”

Tate raised his eyebrows as if to say “Just wait.”

“Danny and I aren’t just friends.”

Webb and Reece looked at them silently for a few minutes before Webb spoke carefully, like he was trying to decide what was okay to say. “None of us are just friends anymore. We’re like brothers.”

Danny sighed. “El and I
aren’t
like brothers. Or friends.” He reached out and wove his fingers with Elliot’s. It was the easiest way to show them what he meant.

“Okay.” Reece’s hand paused on the way to his bag of chips. “So are you… together?”

Elliot and Danny exchanged a look. “We hadn’t really discussed what to call it,” Elliot said quietly. “We both know it’s, well, it could be bad if it got out.”

Webb shrugged. “It’s not a huge surprise or anything. As long as it doesn’t cause problems with the band, I’m cool with it.”

“Yeah, you can’t help who you fall for,” Reece said matter-of-factly.

“And… that’s it?” Danny asked. He’d expected a lecture. Anger. Anything but calm acceptance.

“Listen,” Tate said. “I love you guys. Both of you. I know we haven’t been together long, but all four of you are the people I’m closest to, and if we’re going to be together constantly for as long as this lasts, it has to stay that way. I would never ask people I love not to follow their hearts. It could be trouble, you’re right, but as long as we’re careful.”

“Wait a second. I thought you were mad.” Danny was confused.

“Worried,” Tate corrected. “
Really
worried. We’re going to have to do a lot of work to keep this from causing problems. But if you two found each other and that’s what you need to be happy, then I’m happy for you.”

“Same with me,” Webb added.

“Yep,” Reece agreed. “Just remember the rest of us and try not to let anything you’re doing affect the band.”

“We won’t,” Danny promised. At that moment, he’d promise just about anything to the three guys sitting across from him and Elliot, not judging them, being amazing friends. He couldn’t believe how great they were.

“Never,” Elliot added. “We’d never want to screw anything up for you guys.”

“So we’re cool?” Webb asked in his typical laid-back manner.

“Yep,” Reece said.

“Of course,” Tate added.

And that was it. Less than two minutes and it was settled. Solved.

“Can we go to bed now?” Reece asked around a mouthful of chips.

“Yeah, I think we’re done. ’Night, D… El.” Tate went to stand.

“Um, guys?” Elliot’s voice made the other three pause. “For now until we decide what to tell Sasha and the producers, this is between us. Okay?”

“That’s probably the best idea,” Tate said, ever sensible. “Does anyone else know?”

“Chris does,” Danny said quietly. “He guessed. Katie guessed too.”

“So did my mom and my friend Sara, but they won’t say anything.”

Reece snorted. “I’m thinking a lot of people have figured it out, but unless we confirm things it’ll only be speculation. You two fuckers are
not
what you’d call subtle.”

“Or quiet,” Webb added.

Elliot’s face turned red. “So you knew?”

Reece rolled his eyes. “Duh. Not everyone is as oblivious as Tate.” He pelted Tate with one of his chips.

“Hey, those are oily and this is a new shirt!” Tate kicked Reece.

Just like that, everything felt perfectly normal.

Chapter 11