Catia (Starkis Family #6) (14 page)

She was clearly trying to send me the message that their relationship was platonic, but just because she viewed it that way didn’t mean he did.

“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Emily said, tugging on the sleeve of my leather jacket. “Can we eat now?”

“Pizza again?” Catia asked, looking amused.

The memory of eating pizza in her bed eighteen hours ago flashed through my mind. “I’m humoring my girls. What’s your excuse?”

“Dev’s been on a low-carb diet,” Catia said, rolling her eyes. “I told him if he’s going to cheat, he has to make it count. Since pizza is his absolute favorite—”

“And our Saturday-night tradition,” Dev said, winking at her.

So she used to spend every weekend with this guy? What the hell? “Is that right?” I demanded, hoping for more information about the nature of their relationship.

“Come on, Daddy,” Elsie said, stomping her brightly colored sneakers against the pavement. “It’s cold. Let’s go inside!”

“Sure,” I said, holding the door for them before nodding for Catia to precede me.

“Thanks,” Dev said, entering behind Catia, his hand on her back.

I could barely breathe with the effort it took not to blow up at the sight of his hands on her. Last night, my hands had been all over her, and I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t find a way to convince myself his touch was as innocent as she claimed.

The hostess appeared, smiling at Elsie and Emily. “How many?”

“There’s three of us,” I said, trying to ignore the fact his hand was still resting on Catia’s back.

“And two of you?” the waitress asked Dev.

“Yes,” he responded, charming her with a smile.

Dev was well over six feet with dark blond hair and light green eyes. He was dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt with a blazer and scarf. Not the type of guy I’d normally hate on sight, but the way he was cozying up to Catia made me want to knock out every one of his perfect white teeth.

“Right this way,” the waitress said, leading us all to two booths in the back of the crowded restaurant.

And they just happened to be side by side. Great. I didn’t know if I should be grateful I’d be able to listen to their conversation or pissed that I’d have to continue to witness their obvious familiarity.

“Perfect,” Catia said, sliding into the booth as though she didn’t have a care in the world. “Thank you.”

“Can I get you guys something to drink?” the hostess asked. “Your waitress will be by in a minute, but I can get you started with drinks.”

“A white wine would be great,” Catia said. “Chardonnay, if you have it.”

Normally I would have been impressed that a girl like Catia, who enjoyed thousand-dollar-bottles of vino with her family, could be just as content with cheap wine in a pizza joint, but I was too pissed at her to give her credit for anything. Why hadn’t she told me she had a friend coming in from out of town? Was she trying to keep it from me because they were more than just friends? Logically I knew that was crazy given the things we’d said and done last night, but after the number Karen had pulled on me, I knew better than to think anything was impossible.

We placed our drink orders while the girls chatted about the movie. I caught Catia glancing at me every once in a while, but I could only return her smile with a frown. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I pulled out my phone and texted her.
WTF?

She glanced at her screen before sighing and responding with two words that made me even angrier.
Grow up!

When I gave up on the idea of having a fight via text while we were only a few feet away, I slipped my phone back in my pocket and tried to focus on my daughters. I asked them about their sleepover with my parents and what was going on at school, but every few minutes, my questions were punctuated with laughter from the next table, prompting me to curl my hands into fists and glare at our neighbors.

“When can we start Christmas shopping?” Elsie asked.

“Christmas?” I took a deep swallow of the beer the waitress delivered along with soft drinks for the girls. “Thanksgiving isn’t even here yet.”

“Nana says it’s never too early to start thinkin’ ‘bout Christmas,” Em said, her blond curls bouncing with that emphatic shake of her head.

Figured my mother would say that. She’d always been obsessed with the holidays, even more so now that she had grandchildren to spoil. “Well, let’s just focus on getting through Thanksgiving, then we’ll talk about Christmas.”

I thanked the waitress when she placed our pizza between us along with plates and utensils. I watched the girls dig in as though they hadn’t just shared popcorn at the movies less than an hour ago.

“So I talked to your mom,” I said, hoping the topic would distract me enough that my eyes wouldn’t keep drifting to the left. “She’s excited about spending more time with you.”

“Yay!” Elsie said, clapping as her eyes lit up. “When can we see her?”

“Next weekend. She’s going to come over to the house, and we’ll all have a barbeque.”

“Just like we used to,” Emily said, stealing a glance at her sister.

“We’re going to do everything we can to make this transition easier on you guys,” I said before taking a bite of the pizza. “But you need to understand that we’re taking this one day at a time for now. A lot will depend on how well we all get along together.” I hoped the girls understood they had to be on their best behavior for this arrangement to work. I didn’t want them trying to manipulate us, thinking they could get whatever they wanted.

“We promise to behave,” Em said, raising her hand as she nudged her sister. “Don’t we, Els?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

It was still hard for me to believe they were so young. They seemed so mature for their age, and I hated to think I’d blink and be dealing with makeup, boys, and cars.

Elsie looked at Catia, who caught her eye and smiled. “Her boyfriend’s cute.”

“He is not her boyfriend,” I said, gritting my teeth.

“You don’t know,” Emily argued, pulling a string of cheese off her pizza and shoving it in her mouth. “He could be.”

I wanted nothing more than to argue Dev couldn’t be her boyfriend—because I was. But that would have raised questions I couldn’t answer, and since we hadn’t really defined our relationship, I didn’t think I had the right.

“Eat up,” I said, pushing my half-empty plate aside. “I’m ready to get out of here.”

Catia

“Oh my God, he’s gorgeous,” Dev said, covering my hand with his as he watched Chase leave the restaurant with his kids. “I don’t blame you one bit for moving all this way to be with him. I would have too.”

“Did you see the way he looked at you?” I asked, not even trying to hide my disgust as I downed the rest of my cheap wine. “He thought there was something between us. I can’t believe him! I slept with him last night—”

A mother across the aisle frowned at me before returning her attention to her two rowdy boys.

“I slept with him last night,” I whispered, “and he still doesn’t trust me.”

Dev raised a shoulder. “You can’t really blame him, hon. Any guy would be jealous of me.”

I laughed before kicking him under the table. Because I’d known Dev for so long, I thought it should be obvious to everyone he was gay. Apparently not.

“Honestly, how does he expect to make this work if he can’t trust me to have male friends?” Half of my social group in Chicago were guys, and only Dev and his partner were gay. How would Chase react when he learned I had plenty of heterosexual male friends? A couple I’d even slept with a time or two.

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Dev said, patting my arm. “This is all new to both of you. You’re still feeling each other out, trying to figure out what the boundaries are.”

“I guess you’re right,” I said, smiling when he poured the rest of the carafe of wine into my glass. “Thanks.”

“How cute were those kids of his though?” He sipped his soft drink. “They could be models!” Dev was so animated when he got excited about something. I loved that about him.

“They are pretty cute,” I admitted. “Too bad they hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” he said, making a face that made me laugh. “They’re just used to being the center of Daddy’s world, and they’re not anymore. You are. They’ll get used to it.”

“I’m not the center of his world, Dev,” I said, feeling guilty my friend would even imply that I’d somehow displaced his daughters. “They are, and that’s how it should be.”

He tipped his head as he drew an air circle around my face with his fingertip. “Not liking this whole martyr thing you’ve got goin’ on, Cat. Doesn’t work for you.”

“I’m not trying to be a martyr. I’m trying to be understanding. I fell for a man who has kids. I knew that going into this.”

“Still, you have to let them know who’s boss, or they’re going to think they are.”

Maybe they are.
I downed the rest of my wine. “I just don’t see how this thing with Chase can work if they hate me. I mean, what kind of future will we have? I can’t sleep with one eye open for the rest of my life, can I?”

He laughed. “Come on. I don’t think it’s that bad.”

“You have no idea.” I’d caught them glaring at me a couple of times when Chase wasn’t looking. He may have tried to reason with them after the incident at his house the other night, but they clearly didn’t intend to budge.

“So what’s the plan?” He raised his hand before I could respond. “And don’t even tell me you don’t have one. You always have a plan.”

Given my career choice, I had to be a planner, but I was coming to realize some things couldn’t be organized as deliberately as a multi-million-dollar construction project. “Honestly, when I moved here, I planned to get a job working for Chase and living across the street from him. Over time, I hoped we’d rebuild our friendship. Obviously, I hoped it would lead to an intimate relationship—”

“Which it has,” Dev said, opening his hand. “So far, I’d say all is going according to plan. So what’s next?”

“That’s just it,” I said, trying to tamp down my frustration. “I don’t know. I never even considered the possibility Chase’s girls would have a problem with our relationship. Now that they do, I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ve known you a long time,” he said, stroking my cheek with a smile. “You’re one of the most tenacious women I know. You’re not going to let two spoiled divas keep you from getting your man, are you?”

“It’s not that simple, and you know it,” I said, squeezing his hand. “His kids are the most important thing in the world to him. He fought for months to get full custody, and now that he has it, he’s not going to do anything to jeopardize his relationship with them, nor would I expect him to.”

“But if you’re important to him, he won’t let you go without a fight.”

I thought of all the things Chase said last night. He obviously didn’t want to let me go, but was it fair of me to hold on to him knowing how much it could cost him? “Do you think it’s selfish of me to stick around knowing I’m just adding to the pressure he’s under?”

“Does that mean you’re thinking about coming back home?” Dev asked, his eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. “We’d all love to have you back, but is that really what you want, hon? You were so miserable leaving him the first time. Do you think you can do it again?”

I didn’t want to, but I wasn’t sure I had a choice. “Last time I didn’t think I was ready. This time, I’m not sure he’s ready.”

I considered how I would feel in Chase’s position. Stressed. Anxious. Confused. I didn’t want to do that to him.

“I mean, I think he loves me, and if he weren’t already a dad, I have no doubt we’d be making plans for the future by now, but…” I propped my chin in my palm with a sigh. “This just feels like a no-win situation. I can’t stay here, working for the man I love, living across the street from him, wondering if we’ll ever be together the way I want us to.”

“Are you saying you’d actually marry this guy given the chance?” Dev asked, gaping at me.

Our friends had all joked they’d eventually have to drag me down the aisle kicking and screaming. “I’ve imagined what it would be like, being married to him.”

“And?” Dev asked, rolling his hand.

“I was never step-mommy dearest in my fantasy. I imagined the kids and I would get along great. I thought we could all be happy together. Maybe even expand our family someday.”

Dev slapped his ear. “Hold on a sec. Did I just hear you right? A baby? You’d consider defiling that perfect body with stretch marks?”

I laughed when I remembered my sister’s horror stories about stretched skin and how all the vitamin E oil in the world hadn’t helped. She also said she wouldn’t have traded being pregnant for anything, so I supposed the trade-offs were worth it. “What’s so crazy about wanting a baby with the man I love?”

“Nine years, Cat. We’ve been friends for nine years,” he said, raising his index finger. “And not once in all that time have I heard you talk about marriage and babies. Where is all this coming from?”

I looked at the empty booth across from us. The waitress was wiping down the table, preparing it for another group of diners.

“Seeing him with his kids makes me realize what a great dad Chase is. Even though it’s the single biggest thing standing between us now, it’s also one of the things I love most about him—his capacity to love unconditionally.” I traced circles on the paper placemat in front of me as I imagined helping a little one color between the lines with crayon. “How could I not want a baby with a man like that?”

My parents had always told me when I met the right man, I’d change my mind about having kids. I’d argued that plenty of people were happy without children and I intended to be one of them, but Chase had changed that. He’d changed me. In ways I never could have imagined when we met.

“Sweetie, if he loves you as much as you love him, it’ll work out.” With a broad smile, he said, “Look at me and Jeffery. We’re as different as two people could possibly be, yet we make it work.”

“Yeah,” I said, returning his smile. “Maybe you should teach a class ‘cause I sure as hell could use some pointers.”