Catia (Starkis Family #6) (9 page)

“She’s cool. She won’t judge you.” I hoped that was true. I was just warming up to the possibility of taking my relationship with Catia to the next level, and the last thing I needed was my well-meaning mother planting seeds of doubt in my head.

When I saw Catia peek through the window flanking the door, I knew I’d look like a jerk if I didn’t invite her in to meet the girls. “They’re pretty wrapped up in their show, but I might be able to tear them away if you’d like to meet them. They only get an hour of TV a day, so this is kind of sacred time to them, but—”

“It’s okay,” she said, stepping back as though she sensed my hesitation. “We can do it some other time. I really didn’t mean to intrude. Like I said, I just thought you might like some cookies.”

Seeing uncertainty flare to life in her eyes brought out my protective instincts. I reached for her hand and the plate of cookies at the same time. “No, I want you to meet them. Come on in.”

The girls looked up from the TV, their eyes widening when they spotted the woman standing next to me.

“Who’s she?” Elsie, my oldest, scowled.

Catia forced a smile, stepping forward as I closed the door.

“This is my friend Catia. She’s Kara’s sister.” When the girls simply stared at Catia instead of greeting her, I added, “She works for me and lives across the street. In fact, your nana is going over to her house later to give her a piano lesson.”

Emily wrinkled her nose. “That’s dumb,” she said to Cat. “You’re too old to learn how to play piano.”

Mortified, I gave my youngest a warning look while Catia laughed. “She is not too old,” I said, frowning at my petulant princesses. “You’re never too old to learn a new skill. Remember that when you get to be our age.”

They rolled their eyes in unison, reminding me they were too damn young to act so old.

“I hear you girls like to play the piano,” Catia said, bravely stepping deeper into the living room. “Maybe you could teach me a thing or two?”

“Why?” Emily asked, giving Catia a look of disdain. “You think if you’re nice to us, Daddy’ll love you?”

Catia gasped before stealing a quick look at me.

“That’s it,” I said, glaring at my girls. “How dare you be so rude to a guest in our home?”

“She’s not our guest!” Emily cried. “We don’t want her here!”

“Mommy said this would happen!” Elsie said, grabbing her sister’s hand. “You’d find someone new and get married. We’ll be stuck with a stepmom we hate, and we can’t even see our own mom! It’s not fair!”

I was too stunned to speak as I watched them run up the stairs. It wasn’t until I heard both doors slamming in unison that I finally found my voice. “My God,” I whispered, setting the cookies on the coffee table. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t know what the hell got into them. I’ll admit they’ve been difficult lately, but they’re rarely rude. I can’t believe they behaved that way.”

“I can,” Catia said softly, looking miserable. “They’re afraid I’m here to take their mother’s place. Why wouldn’t they resent me?”

“But that’s ridiculous. They don’t even know you. As far as they’re concerned, we’re just friends and coworkers.” That was all we were, but it was impossible to ignore the sensual undercurrent whenever we were in the same room together. Surely my girls were too young and innocent to pick up on my attraction to Catia though. Weren’t they?

“And it seems they wouldn’t react well to learning we were more.” Catia sighed, leaning into the chair in front of her. “I guess deep down, I was afraid of that when you told me about the problems you’ve been having with them. Maybe that’s subconsciously why I felt compelled to come over here tonight. I needed to know how they’d react to meeting me. I guess now I know, huh?”

I didn’t want her to be disillusioned. I would figure out how to set them straight, to let them know that I wouldn’t let them run my life and tell me who my friends should be. “I’ll talk to them. I’ll tell them they were way out of line tonight and that I expect them to apologize to you.”

“Don’t,” she whispered, running her fingertip over the seam of the chocolate brown armchair. “That would only make things worse. It’s clear they need your time and attention now.”

“Cat, wait,” I said, grabbing her arm when she stepped past me. “I’ve been thinking a lot about the things you said the other night.” I’d been able to think about little else. “I want to believe you—I just need a little more time. Can you give me that?” It would kill me to lose her now, when she finally seemed to want all the same things I did, but I couldn’t act with blind faith this time. I had to take it slow, test the waters before jumping in.

“You were right to suggest putting the brakes on,” she said, gesturing to the stairs. “That just put everything in perspective for me. You’ve been telling me that your daughters need you now… that they have to be your first and only priority. And you’re right.”

“I don’t think I said they have to be my
only
priority.” I was backpedaling, trying desperately to save this second chance she’d given me.

“But maybe they do.” She rolled forward, kissing my cheek. “Don’t worry, Chase. I understand. The fact that you’re such a good father is one of the things I love most about you.”

“Cat…” I curled my hand around her wrist. I didn’t know what to say. The two little words threatening to spill off my tongue would make me sound too desperate.
Don’t go.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. At least I had the promise of seeing her tomorrow and every day after that. I’d figure this out. I had to. Because every time I saw her solidified my feelings for her. I was falling in love with her all over again, and instead of hitting the brakes as I’d suggested, I wanted to go full throttle.

I waited until she left before I stormed upstairs and threw open Elsie’s door without knocking. “I want to talk to you in your sister’s room. Now!”

“Why you mad at us?” she asked, raising her chin. “You’re always telling us to be honest. We were. You can’t be mad at us for that.”

“Oh yeah? There’s a difference between being honest and being nasty. We’re going to discuss that difference right now, young lady. ” I was tired of walking on eggshells around them. They were vulnerable, but they weren’t the only ones. We were all trying to adjust to a new way of life, and they had to start cutting me as much slack as I’d cut them.

I waited for her to cross the hall to her sister’s room. She climbed up on the twin bed and sat beside Emily, arms folded. Great, now I had two wide-eyed, curly blonde imps looking at me as if
I
was a monster who deserved to be punished.

“Are you not happy living with me?” I asked, deciding it was time for us to air all of our grievances. “Are you mad at me for fighting for custody of you? Would you have preferred to stay with your mom?” I’d never asked them this question outright because I’d always been afraid of the answer, but after seeing their reaction to Catia, it was obviously time to get to the truth.

The girls looked at each other before looking back at me. One shrugged then the other.

“We love Mom,” Em said in a tiny voice that reminded me she was still just a baby in so many ways. She still got excited about bedtime stories and macaroni art. She shouldn’t have to decide which parent she wanted to live with or feel she had to choose sides at all. “But we love you too. We just wanna be a family ‘gain.”

I closed my eyes and inhaled softly, knowing I had to tread lightly. They were finally opening up, and I didn’t want them to get defensive and shut down again. But they had to know the truth: Karen and I were never, ever getting back together.

I crossed the brightly colored rainbow area rug Emily had selected when I told her she could help her nana decorate her room. “I know that’s what you want. I guess that’s what all kids want, for their parents to live under the same roof.”

I was one of the lucky ones who’d had parents who got it right the first time and didn’t have to put their kids through a gut-wrenching divorce, but my mistakes didn’t mean I loved them any less, and I had to figure out a way to make them understand that. This wasn’t the first time I’d tried, but I prayed this time I’d be able to find the right words.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” Elsie said, twisting the little birthstone ring I’d bought her. “We miss Mom.”

“You still see her,” I said, knowing it was a weak argument. They’d gone from living with her to seeing her a couple of times a month for a few hours while a court-appointed stranger looked on. “But maybe we could figure out a compromise, some way to make your visits a little more pleasant.”

“How?” Elsie asked, sounding wary.

“I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to your mom about that. Maybe she could come here and spend some time with you while I’m here, or I could take you to her place.”

“Or we could all go out together?” Emily asked, sounding so hopeful it broke my heart. She didn’t say
like a real family
, but I knew she was thinking it.

“We’ll see.” Spending several hours a month with my ex wouldn’t be easy, but all the animosity between us was clearly tearing my girls apart, and I couldn’t stand to see that happen. Before they thought I was going to let them off the hook for their abhorrent behavior downstairs, I faced them again. “Tell me why you treated Catia that way.”

“We don’t want you to get a girlfriend,” Elsie said, pouting.

“Why? Do you think that will mean I’ll have less time for you?” When they didn’t respond, I took a cautious step toward the bed. I bent down on one knee, taking one little hand in each of mine as I took turns looking into their big blue eyes. “I know this has been a rough year for all of us. You have to know I wouldn’t have fought so hard to get you to come here and live with me if I didn’t love you so much.” When they didn’t react, my heart sank. “You do know that, don’t you?”

They eventually nodded, both of them looking at our hands instead of looking me in the eye.

“I would do anything to make you happy, but I want to be happy too. Is that wrong?”

Elsie bit her lip. “No, but that doesn’t mean you’re gonna get married again, does it? We don’t want a mean stepmom.”

“I like to think when and if I ever do re-marry, I’ll choose someone who adores my kids almost as much as I do.”

“What if she didn’t?” Emily asked, her blond eyebrows furrowing beneath the ringlets falling across her forehead. “Would you still marry her?”

“Would I marry someone who didn’t love you guys? Of course not. What kind of question is that?” I wondered whether Karen had been poisoning their minds, giving them reasons to fear what my future plans might be. I wouldn’t put it past her, but asking them outright would only add to the tension. I knew they wouldn’t respond to the rhetorical question, so I sighed, leaning back on my heels as I released their hands. “I love you both more than anything in the world, and that’s never going to change.”

Emily’s bottom lip trembled as she blinked back tears, but her sister, who had always been harder to sway, continued to look stoic.

“But I can’t allow you to think you’re in charge here. You’re not. I am.” I stood to let them know I was serious. “And I cannot allow you to treat adults the way you just treated Catia. It was rude and disrespectful and, quite frankly, embarrassing.”

Elsie twisted her lips from side to side, as though she was at least contemplating what I said and perhaps feeling a shred of remorse.

“Now I trust the next time you see Ms. Starkis or I introduce you to anyone, male or female, I can count on you to behave like the polite young ladies I’m raising you to be.” Setting my hands in my hips, I looked from one to the other. “Well? Do I have your word?”

They nodded grudgingly. It wasn’t the reaction I’d been hoping for, but I’d achieved the end result I’d been after, so I wasn’t going to push it. “Good. I’m going downstairs to clean up the kitchen, then I’ll be up to help you with your baths. Catia brought cookies. Your favorite, chocolate chip, I think. Would either of you like one for dessert?”

They looked at each other before shaking their heads in unison. In spite of our talk, they obviously still considered Catia the enemy, which meant I had my work cut out for me if I wanted to convince them otherwise.

Catia

Turned out I’d worried unnecessarily about meeting Chase’s mother. She was a kind and patient instructor and didn’t laugh or scowl when I made the same mistake half a dozen times, so at the end of the lesson, I invited her into the kitchen for a cup of hot chocolate before she headed home.

“I’m guessing you don’t get very many students my age?” I asked, popping a hot chocolate pod into the fancy cold and hot drink maker I’d brought from my home in Chicago.

“To tell the truth, I don’t take on very many students at all anymore. I work with my granddaughters and a few of the neighbor kids, but that’s about it.”

I set some of the cookies I’d baked on a plate, trying to ignore the voice in my head telling me Doreen was the probably type of woman who baked contest-worthy cookies. She had that warm maternal vibe I’d always felt drawn to even though my own mother drove me crazy with her hovering at times.

“Difficult to find time for it?” I asked, removing a container of whipped cream from the fridge. “Can I tempt you?”

She laughed. “You don’t have to twist my arm, dear. What’s hot chocolate without whipped cream, right?”

“A woman after my own heart,” I said, winking. As I set about making the second cup, I returned to my earlier question, hoping to learn more about the woman who clearly meant so much to Chase. “Do you have a lot of hobbies?”

“I stay busy,” she said, reaching for one of the cookies. She broke it in half and popped a bite into her mouth with an appreciative moan that put my mind at ease. “I like to crochet, play piano for the church. I love to read, and of course, I have my granddaughters. They keep me young at heart.”

After what had happened with the
little
women
in Chase’s life earlier, I was seriously wondering if my move had been a colossal mistake. Who better to ask than the woman who had raised him and was helping to raise his girls?