Censored by Confucius (7 page)

"The day after her death, the man answered a knock at his door to find a young nun, carrying the trousers and bearing a basket of pastries as thanks. The little boy pointed at the nun and said, 'That's the monk who came and stayed the other night.' The man was overcome with remorse at the gravity of his mistake. He dragged his son to the foot of the wife's coffin, beat the boy to death, then hanged himself. The neighbors, unwilling to face a huge official inquiry, simply buried the bodies and let the matter rest.

"The next winter, when the general returned to the same locality to hunt, someone mentioned the tragedy to him. I knew it was this sentry who had precipitated the unfortunate chain of events, but since the case had gone no further, I decided to let the matter rest. Later on, when we were alone, I told the sentry what had happened. Naturally, he was extremely worried. From then on he lived a life of virtue hoping to atone for his sins. Ultimately, however, heaven will exact its punishment."

In Which Hunters Expurgate the Fox Fairies

In the town of Yuanhua in Haichang County there lived a wealthy family whose habit it was to work on the lower floor during the day, thus leaving the three bedrooms of the upper floor vacant. One day, one of the women went to fetch some clothing from the upper floor and discovered that the door to the stairwell was bolted from the inside.

Puzzled, she thought to herself, "Who could have bolted the door? Everyone is downstairs."

Finding a crack in the wall boards she peeked inside and saw a man sitting on the bed. She assumed he was a thief and promptly called for the rest of the family to come.

The man, however, said in a loud voice, "I am moving in to live on this floor and my family will soon be here to join me. I will borrow your beds and tables but the rest of your possessions will be returned immediately."

He thereupon threw various boxes and miscellaneous items out the window onto the ground below.

Not long after, the family heard a crowd of people milling about. They peeked through the wall boards and saw that the room was filled with people young and old. This crowd soon began clanking bowls and singing, "My lord, my kind host, you have guests who have come from afar but you have not provided even one glass of wine to welcome us."

In trepidation the family quickly prepared four tables with flagons of wine out in the courtyard, and all four tables were magically whisked upstairs. After the guests had feasted, they threw all the unwanted cutlery and china out the window. For a while after this there was no more obnoxious behavior.

All the same, this wealthy family decided it best to hire a Daoist priest to perform an exorcism. But in the midst of their discussions, the people upstairs began to sing, "Daoist dogs, Daoist dogs! Which of them would dare to deal with us?"

The next day a Daoist priest did come, but just as he was placing his exorcism paraphernalia on the altar, he appeared to be hit by something. He rushed out terrified and unsteady on his feet, his idols and instruments flying out behind him.

After this event there was no peace from the top floor, day or night, so eventually the owners went to Jiangxi to seek the assistance of the Daoist high priest, Zhang, who ordered one of his followers, a Daoist cleric, to perform the exorcism.

On hearing this news, the demons on the upper floor recommenced their singing: "High Priest, High Priest, your magic won't work on us. Daoist cleric, Daoist cleric, it's a waste of time for you to come."

Not long after this the cleric arrived, but suddenly, as if someone had grabbed him by the head, he was tossed to the ground, leaving his face bloodied and his clothes torn.

The cleric said with considerable shame, "These demons have tremendous power. We will succeed in expurgating them only if we obtain the assistance of the Reverend Xie."

The Reverend Xie resided in a temple in Chang'an County and was promptly invited to perform the exorcism. He erected an altar and began his task. This time the demons had not recommenced their singing and so the wealthy family were hopeful of success. Suddenly a streak of red light appeared in the sky and with it an old white-haired man.

This mysterious visitor went into the stairwell and called, "No need to be scared of this Daoist Xie. I can conquer his magic."

Xie sat at the front of the hall and began chanting his incantations, then threw a bowl onto the floor, where it ran along at a great speed. Several times it spun around the hall and then made as if to go up the stairs, but each time it failed. After a while the sound of bronze bells came from the upper floor, and with this the bowl immediately fell to the ground. No matter what he tried, Xie wasn't able to get it spinning again.

Startled, he said, "I've exhausted my powers. I can't exorcise these specters."

He thereupon picked up his bowl and left. From the upper floor came the sounds of great rejoicing and after this victory the specters' mischief reached unprecedented heights.

And so it continued for half a year, until one midwinter night there was a huge snowstorm. A dozen or so hunters came to the house requesting shelter and received the hesitant reply that although rooms were available, the house was plagued by demons.

One of the hunters replied, "I'll bet they're fox fairies. You know, hunting foxes is our speciality. Provide enough alcohol for us all to get drunk and we will repay you by driving those foxes out."

So the family supplied them with food and drink and the house remained brightly lit all night while the hunters reveled to their hearts' content. When they were all thoroughly drunk, they loaded their rifles with gunpowder and fired into the air. Smoke and dust billowed and a huge commotion ensued that lasted through the night. The family was extremely anxious lest this cause the demons to heighten their mischief making, but instead everything was quiet and peaceful by the next morning.

Several days passed and still not a sound was heard from the up
per floor. The family decided to venture upstairs to investigate. They found the flo
or scattered with fur and all the windows flung wide open. The
demons had gone.

The Goats Who Fulfilled Their Fate

In 1720, during the reign of the Kangxi emperor, the governor of Shandong, Li Shude, celebrated his birthday with an enormous party. He was showered with gifts of wine and goats by his subordinates, and the drinking, feasting, and entertainment continued unabated for several nights. Many guests didn't bother to sleep at all during this time.

One of them, a Mr. Zhang from the Bureau of Punishments, had had a little too much to drink and decided to retire to his quarters. As he entered his bedroom he heard from behind his bed curtain the groaning and whispering of a couple having sex. He assumed one of the other guests had availed himself of his bed to have some fun with a houseboy.

Zhang gave a shout and lifted the bed curtain only to find, making love on his bed just like a human couple, two of the white goats that had been presented to the governor as birthday gifts. When they saw Zhang, they jumped up in fright and trotted quickly away.

Zhang thought this hilarious and decided to tell his friends what he had just witnessed.

But before he could do so he collapsed senseless to the floor, began slapping himself about the face, and shouted abusively, "You old fool! You really are despicable! Mr. Xie and I are fated to be together through life and death.

"We were separated for four hundred and seventy years until we finally managed to get together today. Do you realize how difficult it was to arrange this meeting? Your interruption frightened us out of our wits, and what's more you've well and truly wrecked our betrothal plans. I'll have you know this is an unforgivable sin!"

Having finished this diatribe, Zhang recommenced slapping himself about the face.

The governor was quickly informed of this strange occurrence. He marched directly to the scene and said, "My dear Mistress Xie, why are
you putting on such a performance? It's my birthday and I was planning on releasing all you animals to accumulate some virtue with the gods, so there really is no need for all this fuss. There are several hundred goats here, but I am sure that when I release you all into the wilderness, you'll each be able to find a suitable partner. I feel certain you'll be able to fulfill your destiny. Are you happy now?"

When the governor had finished speaking, Zhang said in a rather more compliant tone, "Thank you, my lord!" Zhang's body then jerked sharply and he was returned to his normal state.

It was Mr. Liang Yaofeng who told me of this incident.

Capturing a Ghost

A certain Wang Qiming, formally of the riverside town of Wuyuan, decided to relocate his household farther up the river to an officer's lodge. This lodge had previously been the home of Qiming's clansman, a licensed scholar by the name of Wang Po.

One night in April 1774 Wang woke from a long and drawn-out nightmare to find a ghost pressing up against his bed curtains. This ghost was so huge that its head brushed the ceiling. But Wang was a brave and daring fellow, and he sprang up and launched a fierce attack on the ghost.

The terrified creature hastened to the door, but in its panic it crashed into the wall instead. Wang instantly seized the ghost round the waist and pinned it against the wall.

Instantly, an icy wind gusted up, extinguishing the bedside candles. When Wang turned back to look at the captured ghost its face had disappeared. Wang's hands were chilled to the bone, but he kept them clutched tightly around the ghost's trunklike midriff. He tried to call out to alert the household to his predicament but found himself paralyzed by the ghostly chill and unable to utter a sound.

Eventually Wang mustered all his strength and managed to scream for help. By the time his kinsfolk arrived the ghost had shrunk to the size of a newborn baby. A candle was brought over, and to everyone's surprise, clutched in Wang's hands was nothing more than a bundle of silk wadding.

At that instant the house was showered with broken bricks thrown from outside the bedroom window. Wang's kinsfolk were terrified at this display of ghostly wrath and begged Wang to release his grip on the wad of silk.

Wang laughed in reply. "Ghosts run around scaring people, but they're all bluff and bluster. What can they actually
do
to us? If I release this ghost, then I'd be rewarding the mischievous bullying of its
friends. It's better to kill this ghost as a warning to all the others that we'll not suffer this type of intimidation."

Grasping the ghost's remains in his left hand, he took up a torch in his right and set about incinerating the wad of silk. It crackled and sparked in the heat and soon there spurted from the leaping flames fresh, scarlet blood. The stench of the fumes from this ghostly funeral pyre was almost unbearable.

At daybreak Wang's terrified neighbors crowded into the room to see the remains for themselves. The rising stench that assailed their nostrils was still so strong that they all hurried to cover their noses. Stinking, greasy blood the consistency of plaster lay an inch thick on the ground.

Nobody ever found out exactly what type of ghost it was that Wang had killed, and Wang Fengting, a local historian, simply recorded this event as "Capturing a Ghost."

Mr. Xu

One of the wealthiest families in Susong County was that of Shi Zanchen. Moreover, Shi had several brothers and each of them was wealthy in his own right.

Susong County had a custom whereby wealthy households, like the Shi family, would set up a meal each day in their outer halls for whoever wished to come and partake. The name granted this custom was simply "the sitting-and-eating banquet."

One day a person by the name of Xu came to eat. He was slightly built and wore a scanty beard. While eating, he pointed at the green hill beyond the gate and said, "Has anyone seen a hill jump before?"

The unanimous reply was, "Never!"

Xu then pointed at the hill three times and the hill did indeed jump three times. His audience was greatly surprised, but even more mystified at Mr. Xu's powers. He was thereafter respectfully called Venerable Master.

One day, Master Xu said to Shi, "Although your family is already very wealthy, I can increase your wealth tenfold by smelting gold from silver with Daoist magic."

The Shi brothers were rather suspicious of his claim but decided they had little to lose, and so they had a furnace built and each contributed several thousand taels of silver hoping to have it transformed into gold. The wife of the second brother was a very sneaky woman and, unknown to the Venerable Master, mixed some copper among the silver. When the fire had burned down to ash, a huge bolt of lightning hit the house with a tremendous crack, smashing several roof tiles.

The Venerable Master cursed. "Somebody must have sneaked fake silver into the furnace. This deception has made the gods extremely angry."

After some discussion the Shis uncovered the wife's trick and their respect for Master Xu's magical powers increased enormously.

Another time the Venerable Master threw a copper basin into midair and shouted, "Come hither, coins!" A coin promptly dropped into the basin. He continued his shouting and soon the air was filled
with the noise of coins of all shapes and sizes hitting the basin.