Changes (31 page)

CHAPTER 21

The next day they went on a five-mile hike, and picnicked on the way. They stopped beside a small stream, and went wading and Matt caught a snake for Mark, which sent all three of the girls screaming back to Peter and Mel, who laughed at them. But eventually Matthew let the snake go, and they continued their hike until the late afternoon, when they went back to the condo for a swim in the pool, and the kids cavorted like old friends, but Mel noticed that whenever Jessica wasn't talking to Pam, Pam was watching her with Peter.

“They make a nice group, don't they, Mel?”

There was no denying that. A handsome one too. They were all beautiful children, but there was still that unhappy light in Pam's eyes, particularly whenever she saw Mel with her father. Mel was particularly grateful to Jessie for keeping her distracted. And of course Valerie and Mark had been inseparable since breakfast that morning. “They do make a nice group.” Mel agreed with a tired smile. “But one that bears watching.”

“There you go again. What are you worrying about now?” He was amused by her reactions. She seemed to be ever watchful over their joint brood, but he liked that about her too. He could easily see that she was a wonderful mother.

“I'm not worried about anything. But I'm keeping an eye on things.” She grinned, and Peter glanced at Val and Mark.

“I think they're harmless. All that energy and young flesh, but fortunately neither of them is quite sure what to do about it all yet. Next year we might not be as lucky.”

“Oh, Christ”—Mel rolled her eyes—“I hope that's not true. I wish I had married that child off when she was twelve. I don't think I can stand watching her for another four or five years.”

“I don't think you really have to. She's an awfully nice girl.”

Mel nodded, but she looked cautious. “But much too trusting. She's an entirely different character than Jessie.”

He nodded in agreement. He had seen that already. “Pam seems to be very fond of Jess.”

“She's good with younger kids.”

“I know.” He smiled happily, it was the happiest he had been in two years. “Matt adores her.” And then he lowered his voice and bent near Mel's ear. “And I adore you. Do you suppose we could stay here forever?”

“I'd love it.” But that wasn't entirely true either. She missed their time alone in New York. Here, she was not free to be herself. She had to keep an eye on the children, and she wasn't afraid to put her foot down when she had to. She let the four older ones go to the movies that night, while she and Peter stayed home with Matt, but when Mark and Val wanted to go out alone after they'd brought Jessie and Pam home, Mel vetoed the idea without question. “It wouldn't be nice to the others, you two. We're here as a group.” And there were other reasons, which she didn't want to go into. Reasons why she kept a close vigil on every day, as they went for walks, and rode horses, and had picnics in fields full of flowers. There was something so natural and sensual about it all, in their tight T-shirts, and short shorts, and skimpy bathing suits, with the fresh mountain air, and the constant proximity in the condo. She had never seen Val quite so taken with any boy, and it worried her more than she admitted to Peter. She said something to Jess about it when they were alone one day, and Jessie had noticed it too.

“You think she's okay, Mom?” There was a strong bond between the twins, and Jessica always worried about her sister.

“I do. But I think she bears watching.”

“Do you think she …” Jessie felt uncomfortable accusing her sister to her mother.” I don't think she'd …”

Mel smiled.” I don't think she would either, but I think it's easy to get carried away in fields of wild flowers, with snow on the mountains, or at night if you're alone. I think Mark is more intense than a lot of the boys she's used to. And I just want to be sure that she doesn't do anything foolish. I don't really think she would though, Jess.”

“She's not saying much to me this time, Mom,” and that was very unusual for Val. Usually she told Jess everything that happened in her life, particularly what concerned boys. But about Mark she was strangely quiet.

“Maybe she thinks it's more serious than it is. First love.” Mel smiled again.

“Just so she doesn't do anything stupid.”

“She won't.” Mel looked confident in both her own vigil and her daughter's wisdom. “What about Pam? How do you think she is, Jess?” She trusted her daughter's judgment almost more than anyone else's, except now maybe Peter's, and he was hardly objective about his only daughter.

“I don't think she's a really happy kid, to say the least. We've talked about a lot of stuff, and she opens up a lot sometimes, and other times she's all locked up. I think she really misses her mother. Maybe more than the others. Mark is older, and Matthew was pretty little when she died, but Pam feels ripped off. She gets angry at her father sometimes about it.”

“Is that what she said, Jess?” Mel's voice was soft and filled with concern.

“More or less. I think mostly she's just confused. It's not an easy age, Mom.” Jessica looked older and wiser than her years as she spoke and Mel was touched by it.

“I know. And you've been nice to her. Thank you, Jess.”

“I like her.” She said it honestly. “She's a real bright kid. A little screwed up sometimes, but smart as hell. I invited her to come and see us in New York sometime, and she said yes.” Mel looked surprised. “Would you mind that?”

“Not at all. All the Hallams are welcome anytime they'd like.”

Jess fell silent for a moment and then looked at her mother. “What's happening with you and Dr. Hallam, Mom?”

“Not much. We're good friends.” But she felt as though Jessica already knew much more. “I like him, Jess.”

“A lot?” Jessica searched Mel's eyes, and she knew she had to be honest with the child.

“Yes.”

“Are you in love with him?”

Mel held her breath. What did those words mean? What did Jess want to know? The truth, Mel told herself. Only that. She had to tell her the truth. “Yes, I think I am.” Jessica looked as though she had received a physical blow.

“Oh.”

“Are you surprised?”

“Sort of yes and sort of no. I suspected it before, but I wasn't sure. It's different when you actually hear someone else say it.” And then she sighed and looked at Mel. “I like him.”

“I'm glad.”

“Do you think you two will get married?”

But this time Mel shook her head. “No, I don't.”

“Why not?”

“Because our lives are too far apart. I can't quit my job and move to L.A. and he can't move to New York. And we both have too much keeping us where we are.”

“That's sad.” Jessica searched her eyes. “If you lived in the same town, do you think you'd get married?”

“I don't know. It can't be an issue for us. So it's nice to enjoy whatever time we have.” Mel reached out and touched her daughter's hand. “I love you, Jess.”

She smiled. “I love you too, Mom. And I'm glad we came after all. I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time before.”

“That's okay. I'm glad it all worked out.”

“Am I interrupting anything?” Peter wandered into the room and saw them both, and the two of them holding hands, but Mel shook her head.

“We just had a nice talk.”

“That's nice.” He seemed pleased and smiled at Jess. “Where's everyone else?”

“I don't know.” It was about five o'clock and Mel had just come back from the store when she started talking to Jess. She assumed the other kids were at the pool, as they had been at that hour, every day for the past week.

“Val and Mark took a walk with Matt.”

“They did?” Mel was surprised. “Then where's Pam?”

“In our room, asleep. She had a headache this afternoon. I thought you knew.” But Mel still looked surprised, and Peter patted her arm.

“Mark will take good care of Val and Matt. Don't worry about them, Mel.” But when they weren't back at seven o'clock, Mel was seriously concerned, and Peter didn't look as confident as he had before.

He stopped in to see Jess and Pam in their room. “D o you know where they went?” Jessica shook her head and Pam looked blank.

“I was asleep when they left.”

He nodded and went back to Mel. It was still light outside but he wanted to have a look around. “I'll be back in a little while.” But when he didn't come back in an hour either, Mel was as frightened as the girls.

“What do you suppose happened, Mom?” Jessica whispered. Pam was sitting white-faced in their room.

“I don't know, love. Peter will find them.” But on the hillsides behind the house, he was wandering aimlessly, having abandoned the trails, calling out their names. And it was dark when he found Val and Mark at last, scratched and frightened and alone.

“Where's Matt?” He spoke directly to his son, with fear and tension in his voice, as he noticed that Val's face was covered with tears and scratches.

Mark looked as though he were about to cry too. “We don't know.”

“When did you see him last?” Peter felt his jaw go tense.

“About two or three hours ago. We were just walking along and then all of a sudden we turned around, and he wasn't there.” Val began to cry incoherently giving her version of the tale, and Peter saw that Mark was still holding her hand and he began to suspect what had happened and why they had lost track of Matthew.

“Were you two making out?” He was blunt with the words, which only made Val cry more, and sheepishly Mark hung his head, but not before his father's hand cracked across his face. “You little sonofabitch, you had a responsibility to your brother if you took him out with you!”

“I know, Dad.” Tears began to slide down his face now, but the next hour of their search yielded nothing more, and Peter led them back to the trail they had left, and back to the condo far down the mountainside. They had to call the sheriff and begin the search for Matthew. He found Mel pale-faced with the girls, and when he returned with only Val and Mark, the three girls burst into tears. He went quickly to the phone with Mel at his side, and the search party arrived in less than half an hour, with ropes and stretchers, a paramedic team, and enormous search lights.

“We'll take helicopters up tomorrow, if we don't find him tonight.” But Peter didn't want him out alone all night, and he was already terrified that the child might have fallen into a ravine, and broken a leg or worse. He could be unconscious somewhere. Peter left with the other men, and the girls stayed with Mel and Mark below. The youth was crying openly now, as Mel tried to reassure him, but there was no way of soothing the guilt he felt and Mel had managed to say almost nothing to Val. It was well after ten o'clock by now, and there was still no sight of the child, as suddenly Pam exploded at Val and shrieked at her.

“It's all your fault, you horny bitch, if you hadn't been out fucking Mark, my little brother wouldn't have gotten lost.” To which Val found no response, and she collapsed in Jessie's arms, sobbing hysterically, and it was only then that Mel heard a shout and a bleat of horns well up the mountainside; lights were flashed and it seemed moments later when the entire crew came down, victorious, with Matthew in their arms, and Peter Fighting back tears of relief as he waved at them.

“Is he all right?” Mel ran to Peter's side, and the tears escaped his eyes at last. He stood there for a long time, holding her, as he sobbed. Matthew was still a little ways behind in the arms of one of the sheriff's men. They had found him just outside a cave, frightened and cold and unharmed. He said he had wandered off by himself for a little while, and gotten lost. And he claimed to have seen a bear.

“Oh, Mel”—Peter couldn't let go of her— “I thought we'd lose him too.”

She nodded, tears pouring down her own face. “Thank God he's all right.” And then she saw him being carried into their midst again, filthy dirty, his face scratched and his clothes torn, and she could see that he had fallen a few times, but he looked very excited to be with the sheriffs men and he was wearing someone's hat. Mel scooped him into her arms and held him there. “You scared us to death, Matt.”

“I'm okay, Mel.” He looked suddenly very grown-up and brave.

“I'm glad.” She kissed his cheek and handed him to his father then, who thanked all of the sheriffs men, and at last they all went back inside and collapsed in the living room. Mark was hugging his little brother to his chest, and Valerie was still crying but she was smiling now as well, and even Pam had cried with relief, and now everyone fussed over him, and it was midnight before they all settled down, and Pam had apologized to Val, and Mark had sworn that they would never go off alone again. And as they all sat by the fire, finishing the hamburgers that Mel had made for them all, Peter addressed them.

“I want one thing clear right now. I think tonight has taught us all something.” He looked pointedly at Val and Mark, and then Matt, and then at Jessica and Pam. “We can all have a wonderful time while we're here. But you can't kid around, you can get lost in the woods, you can get bitten by snakes and God knows what. And I want you each to feel responsible for the rest of the group. From now on, I want to see all five of you together or not at all. If anyone goes somewhere, the rest of you go too. Is that clear?” He looked pointedly at his oldest son, who nodded his head with a look of agony. He had been so intent on getting his tongue into Val's mouth and his hand up her shorts, that he had entirely forgotten Matthew. And when they had caught their breath again, he was gone. “If I see anyone paired off here, they're going home that day, and I don't care who it is.” But they all knew he meant Val and Mark. “Now I want everyone to go to bed and get some sleep, it's been a tough night for everyone.” They were quick to disband and go to their rooms, but there was a new camaraderie between them now, Mel noticed that Val was closer to Jess again, and Pam to Mark, and even Pam to Val, and Matt was closer to everyone who had feared that he was lost for good. It had been a good lesson for them all, but a terror that Mel and Peter didn't need to go through.