Changing Tunes (15 page)

“What’s so funny?” his lips do that cute half smirk and I can’t take my eyes off them for a moment.

“Mac is short for Mackenzie,” I explain.

A look of relief quickly washes over his face. “Well, what do you and Mac do for fun around here?”

“Mac and I go to parties and go dancing. I love to dance.” I say, a little too dreamily.

He tilts his head to the side. “Are you sure you aren’t taking the wrong classes?”

“What do you mean?” I ask surprised at the question.

“When you said you liked to dance you got this look on your face. Are you any good?”

“I’m alright,” I drag out.

He looks at me. I mean he
looks
at me, like he can see inside my soul. “I guarantee you’re more than all right. Something tells me you’re pretty damn good.”

I can’t help the blush that rises up. Now I’m curious and I have to know. “Why do you say that?”

“Your eyes twinkled when you mentioned dancing.”

“Really,” I tease. “You noticed that?”

“I’m a pretty observant guy, and I notice things,” he says tapping his head.

“You are, are you?” I laugh.

“I am,” he says with that same half smile.

For a moment there’s just silence and we’re staring at each other, grinning like fools.

Zeke clears his throat, breaking the spell, and asks, “Do you ever go dancing other than the weekend?”

“We haven’t yet. We’re usually pretty nerdy during the week. We spend it inside, studying.”

“You? Nerdy? Never!” he chuckles. “It’s too bad.” He begins. “I’m not normally around during the weekends, and I’d love to see you dance sometime.”

My stomach flutters at the thought of going dancing with him, and of him watching me dance.

God, the show I’d put on for him…

My head rewinds to the part where he’s never around on the weekends. “Where do you go on the weekends?” I ask curiously.

A look crosses his face briefly before his expression smoothes out again. If I hadn’t been watching him so closely, I would have missed it.

He runs his hand through his thick, dark hair, causing a lock to fall into his face and averts his eyes away from me. “I have family that needs my help on the weekends, and I kinda miss them when I’m gone.” He turns back, looking me directly in the eyes, and smiles. “You must think I’m a pansy ass for going home every weekend.”

Pansy ass was not what I was thinking; no. I was thinking the complete opposite. I’m thinking this guy, who already seems so perfect, just got a little more perfect. You never see guys that love and miss their family so much that they return home every single weekend. When I respond, I don’t dare look him in the eyes. I’m afraid every feeling and thought I just had for him would be revealed on my face. That can’t happen. I’m supposed to be friends with him, nothing more. Just friends. I try as best I can to wipe any and all traces of emotion from my face. I glance down at my hands, rubbing them together, and finally look up. I look at him, but remind myself to avoid the eyes.

“No, I was thinking the opposite. I think it’s great you have such an awesome relationship with your family. Most of us would kill to have that.” I say wistfully.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he says seriously. A look of pure desire encases his face, and if I wasn’t trying to be just friends with him, I’d climb over the table and throw myself at him like an animal in heat. But I don’t. I refrain, and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I quickly jump up to keep myself from becoming a woman in heat, and busy myself by grabbing another bottle of water out of the refrigerator. I open it and drink several large gulps, using my arms to wipe the excess off of my lips. When I set my water down, I notice Zeke staring at me. And what he says is nearly my undoing.

“I’ve never, in my life, wanted to be a bottle of water…until now.”

I think my mouth opens. My heart is beating a million miles a minute and my skin is on fire. I feel a pull towards him I can’t explain. I can’t move; I’m frozen in place. He walks towards me and raises his hand to my mouth and traces my lips with his thumb.

“Such pretty lips.”

I don’t move, I can’t. But my mouth finally finds words. “We’re friends, right?”

His eyes swirl with emotion, and I see him fighting something internally when he takes a step back and lowers his hand. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. That was highly inappropriate of me, and certainly not fair to you.”

I try to talk, but he interrupts me. “Ashley, it won’t happen again, and if you feel uncomfortable around me, you can change partners. We can also go the library if you’d feel better being around other people—” His comment destroys me, “It won’t happen again.”

“Stop.” I say quietly, but with enough force that he gets the point. “Its fine, but maybe the library wouldn’t be a bad idea?” I offer a lopsided grin, because quite frankly, it’s all I’ve got in me, and I don’t want him to see the disappointment. I can act with the best if I have to. Hell, I’ve been doing it my whole life.

“I should go.” He begins to pack his things and stands, ready to walk out the door.

Before the door closes I spit out, “Maybe we could get a group together and go dancing one night this week, or next, during the week. You know…if you want to?”

Yeah, I’m playing with fire here and risking getting my heart broken.

“You’d break your weekly routine for little old me?” he smiles.

“It’s time I break some old patterns in my life and live a little, I deserve it.”

He chuckles, “I don’t doubt it for a minute. You let me know when and where, and I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss seeing you dance.” He winks and then the door closes, leaving me breathless and hot as hell everywhere. I have an ache that needs to be filled, but I’m afraid the only person that could ease it just went out the door.

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. If I didn’t, I was going to strip her naked and take her, right then and there, on the kitchen table, and last time I checked, that’s not what friends do. The moment the door shuts, I readjust myself. My dick is packed like sardines in my pants and I need relief, but sadly that’s sure as shit not in the cards for me. The only person that could quench this need is the one I just walked out on.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. When I started college, I told myself I wouldn’t let this happen. That I wouldn’t get involved with anyone. I have nothing to offer anyone. I think about the last serious relationship I had, and it sure didn’t happen the way it was supposed to. She’s long gone now and never looked back. It’s a crying shame, too, the things she’s missed out on.

I’m frustrated, and I’m not just talking sexually. Not even since my last relationship have I ever felt so drawn to someone. Her smile is contagious, and the things I see in her eyes that haunt her, I want to make better. I want to know everything about her, and I certainly want to see those long legs of hers dance. The problem is she deserves a hell of a lot more than I can give her. God, if she only knew the responsibilities I carry. It’d be a turn off for any girl to handle. How could I ask it of her? The answer is, I can’t.

I’ll have to be the guy that is just friends with the girl he likes a lot, and watch while she dates other guys. I’ll be like the gay best friend, only I’m not gay. The thought of seeing her date anyone pisses me off. But that’s just the way it has to be.

I drive to my apartment as quickly as possible. Thinking about Ashley the entire way isn’t helping my already throbbing dick. I hurry into my dorm, grab my clothes and take them into the bathroom. I need a shower, pronto, and have a need to take care of.

I strip down; turn on the faucet, warming the water. I slide in, leaning my head forward and let the water cascade over me. Ashley’s face is all I see, drinking from that damn bottle of water. I grab my cock and start stroking it, picturing Ashley's small soft hands gripping me, and stroking me into oblivion. Staring at the tile, my focus is only on her beautiful face...The more I focus on her lips and her eyes, the faster and harder I grip myself. I picture myself grabbing her and laying her across that kitchen table of hers and burying my face in that sweet spot between her legs.  I can almost taste her as I continue to stroke…and that’s when I lose it. The more I see Ashley, the harder it’s going to be for me. Literally.

After Zeke leaves, I attempt to calm my raging hormones and decide to go on a run. Running is something I’ve always loved; I just haven’t done it in a long time. I throw my running clothes on, pull my long hair into a ponytail, and lock the door on my way out. I spot Austin as I walk down the hallway, in a heated argument with his bitchy girlfriend. I ignore them, but hear Austin tell me hello as I pass.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see her slap his arm. I can’t help the chuckle that escapes my mouth and shake my head. I don’t want that kind of relationship. As I open the double doors Nick comes walking in.

I immediately try to stop him. “Are you going to see Austin? Because if you are, just know he and his bitchy girlfriend are in a pretty heated discussion.”

“Ah, they’re at it again, I see.” He waits a beat before saying, “Nope, don’t care and gets a devilish grin on his face.” I hear him grumble, “Bitch lady,” as he heads back in. I chuckle and think what a character he is.

I begin stretching my legs. I’ll probably kill myself since it’s been so long since I’ve gone for a run. But I need it and this is possibly the only thing that will calm me down.

Except for the real thing.

I start off slow, building momentum, and it’s not long before I’m back in my running groove. I love the familiar burn of my calves and my stomach clenching with each pump of my arms. I pass students here and there, catching looks out of the corner of my eye from several male students. I used to love those looks, even get high off of them, but not anymore.

No, now there’s only one person I’d like to have eyes on me. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to want me.