Authors: Sennah Tate
Chasing Aubrey (10 page)
As I left the drag strip, I couldn’t come to terms with what had just happened. I didn’t know what I was expecting to walk away with, but a date with Aubrey certainly wasn’t it. Not that I was complaining at all. If I had laid out the best case scenario of the day, I was pretty sure that the things that actually happened would match up pretty well.
I couldn’t believe how I’d so easily accepted that she couldn’t share her real life with me. I wanted any part of her, no matter how small. I hated to think that I wasn’t ever going to be able to know all of her. I hated to think that she was going to keep me at a distance forever. I didn’t even know how long I would tolerate being kept secret, but for now, I was going to take what was offered to me.
I never expected to be offered anything, really. I was on cloud nine and debated calling my best friend about the whole thing. I remembered that he was on his honeymoon and decided against bothering him and his new wife. I realized that without Bryce, I had no one to share things like this with. Maybe that was the appeal of a wife or girlfriend. I’d never really looked past the sex to notice the companionship that came with a relationship.
I knew that my giddiness couldn’t last forever though. My phone rang and I scowled at the unrecognized number. What could it possibly be this time?
“Hello?”
There was a ton of background noise on the other end and then I heard a sniffle.
“Hello?” I asked again, trying to eliminate some of the harshness from my tone.
Another sniffle.
“Skye?” My heart raced in my chest. As much as I wanted to be mad at her, it was my job to protect her and keep her safe. She sounded in desperate need of a big brother intervention.
She whimpered and sniffed again before responding.
“Yeah.” The tone of her voice made my heart hurt.
“What’s wrong? Where are you?”
She started sobbing in earnest then and was too distressed to actually form any words.
“Shh, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you. Just tell me where you are and I’ll come get you, okay?”
“Um… 4381 West Orion Boulevard,” she finally answered.
“Okay, don’t go anywhere. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
The call ended and I typed in the address to my GPS as quickly as my fingers could manage. The house was only twenty minutes away, so I hoped that Skye would be all right until then.
It completely blew my mind how easy it was to change from angry brother to full-blown protective mode. I didn’t even know that I had the capability to be a protective big brother, but it seemed to come so naturally.
As much as I wanted to think about her and fantasize about our upcoming date, there was no room for thoughts of Aubrey at the moment. All that mattered was ensuring Skye’s safety.
As I turned down one of the streets nearing her location, I began to realize what a bad area she was in. My car probably stuck out like a sore thumb and I really didn’t want to deal with being a car-jacking target or anything like that. Not that there were any doubts that I could fight my way out of it, but you can’t exactly rely on your fists when others don’t necessarily play by those rules.
Most of the street lights were burned out and the roads weren’t well-maintained. A number of houses were boarded up and abandoned, though that didn’t seem to deter the homeless from setting up camp inside of them. I didn’t want to imagine what possessed Skye to venture into this neighborhood. I hoped that she wasn’t involved with drugs or some other illegal activity. I knew how easy it was to get roped into that life and I knew even more how easy it was to become a victim once you had.
I turned down Orion Boulevard and braced myself for what I’d find. I didn’t know what happened; I didn’t know what kind of state I would find Skye in. Hell, I didn’t even know if I was going to have to kick someone’s ass in retaliation. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it, but I would really rather not have to. I tried very hard to put my criminal past behind me and didn’t really want it to come back with a vengeance just because I was protecting my sibling.
Pulling up to the house that Skye told me to meet her at, it was evident that there was some kind of party or something going on. Hoards of teenagers in various stages of drunkenness and nakedness all stumbled around, in and out of the house. Music blared from the little hovel and the sound of breaking glass could be heard every other minute.
I spotted Skye sitting on the curb, her arms wrapped around her knees, hugging them to her chest. There was no one around her, no friends, no adults, no one checking to see if she was all right.
I pulled up next to her and she climbed in the car without a word.
I tried my best to tamp down my temper, hoping to start a frank and open dialog with her.
“Are you okay?” I asked first, wanting to make sure she wasn’t hurt before we left.
“Yes, I’m fine. Please just go.”
I did as she asked, leaving the raging party behind.
The drive back to the highway was silent. I didn’t want to press her for information and risk upsetting her more and she wasn’t being forthcoming with any details.
As I merged into traffic, she dissolved into tears again. That strange pang of desperation clenched around my heart again. I would do anything to make her troubles go away. Even if we butted heads, we were family.
“Look, I’m sorry for getting upset with you earlier,” I apologized. Even if I thought that I was in the right, she did too. She didn’t have the luxury of hindsight and experience to look back on, so I had to be patient.
“I know you haven’t always had the opportunities that I can provide for you, so it may not seem like a big deal to you right now. I get that; we come from the same place, remember? But I can tell you now that if I was able to go back and make the choice to go to school, I would take it in a heartbeat.”
She sniffled and wiped stray tears from her eyes. Dark streaks of mascara trailed down her thin face and made her look all the more pitiful.
“I know. I’m sorry I called you a dick.”
I chuckled.
“You weren’t the first and I doubt you’ll be the last.”
She rewarded my self-deprecating humor with a small smile.
I wanted to ask again what happened, but I didn’t want to break the connection we suddenly had. It was more difficult than I anticipated to connect with Skye, despite our similarities. She at least wasn’t trying to rebel and wasn’t hating me at the moment, so I just needed to give her her space.
I couldn’t take the silence though.
“So, do I need to beat someone up for making you cry?”
She giggled and wiped a few more tears from her eyes while shaking her head.
“No, I don’t think it would do much good. They didn’t hurt me or anything.”
“Well, that’s obviously not true.”
She looked down at her hands in her lap, refusing to acknowledge the truth in my statement.
“I was just stupid. I thought they were cool people and they definitely weren’t.”
I nodded, my mind coming up with a million horrible situations she could have found herself in. I didn’t want to think about any of them. She was safe now and that was all that mattered. Yes, a ton of terrible things could have happened to her, but they didn’t.
“It took me a very long time to be able to judge people. There are a lot of people out there that seem perfectly normal until you find out they’re really a monster. I still get caught off-guard sometimes.”
Her smudged blood-shot eyes focused on me.
“Really? You seem like you’ve got all your shit together pretty well.”
I laughed; actually laughed out loud.
“You have no idea, kid.”
A wide grin split her face and she turned in her seat to face me with rapt attention.
“Tell me!”
“Oh… it would bore you to tears,” I tried to dissuade her, realizing what a can of worms I’d just opened.
“Bull. Spill!”
I chuckled and filled the rest of the car ride home with my insecurities and confusion surrounding Aubrey. She interjected every now and then with a question for clarification or a small comment, but let me explain everything uninterrupted for the most part.
I parked the car and we filed into the elevator for the long ascent up to my apartment.
“So, you have no clue who this chick really is?”
“No, not really,” I frowned.
Her expression mimicked mine.
“That’s pretty fucked up.”
I nodded my agreement.
“And I’m the idiot that keeps going back in for more.”
She clapped her fragile little hand onto my broad shoulders.
“You’re not an idiot. I think it’s kind of romantic. She’s the idiot. If she had any sense, she’d realize how awesome you are and how stupid her other life is. If she has to keep what she loves a secret, then it’s obviously not a life worth preserving.”
Sometimes, the things Skye said took me by surprise.
“You know, you’re too smart for your own good.”
She grinned, all too confident that she really was a genius.
“Yeah, I’ve been told that a time or two.”
I couldn’t resist the pull I felt to wrap my arm around her shoulder. I pulled her in for a brotherly hug and ruffled her hair, making her shriek as she tried to smooth it back into place.
We walked into my apartment with my arm around her tiny shoulders until she flopped down on the couch with a bag of chips.
“So,” she started to speak through a mouthful of Doritos, “I think you should just come out and tell this Aubrey chick that you’re only interested in this if she’ll come clean with you about who she is.”
She curled her legs under her to give me a place to sit on the couch with her.
“Well, but what if she doesn’t want to tell me? That’s one of those things that could really easily blow up in my face.”
“Look, dude, if she doesn’t think you’re worth bringing into
her
life, then she’s not worth brining into
yours
. She wants the best of both worlds, but you can’t have that. You have to choose.”
I realized that Skye was right; about both of us. Aubrey wanted the thrill of the racer lifestyle without committing her entire life to it. I wanted the thrill of Aubrey without committing fully. As long as she was a mystery, she couldn’t try to weasel a real relationship out of me. As long as I couldn’t be a part of her life, there were no strings attached. We both wanted our cake and we wanted to eat it without any of the consequences.
But what Skye said was right: I had to choose. I knew that I wanted Aubrey in my life for some inexplicable reason. She was the only woman I’d ever felt this way about. I had to choose if a life with only half of Aubrey was worth more than the chance at all of her, even if the other side of that coin meant there was a chance I would lose her completely.
“Thanks kid,” I said with a pat on her knee.
Her smile only grew.
“Is this what it’s like?”
“What?”
“Having a family?”
The needy look in her eyes reminded me of just how young she was. She may be an adult in the eyes of the law, but in reality, she was still a lost and lonely little girl.
“You know, I don’t know for sure, but it’s pretty cool.”
She nodded and snuggled down into the couch, not even bothering to take her shoes off before getting comfortable.
“Yeah. Having a big brother is awesome.”
I saw he drift off to sleep and made sure I covered her with a blanket and turned the lights off before heading to bed myself.
