Chasing Aubrey (8 page)

Chapter 14

My qualifier went off without a hitch. Not that I expected there to be any complications, but I still couldn’t shake my nerves. It had been a while since my last race and the old jitters were making an appearance. My race with Rex was in the next to last slot for the night, so I had plenty of time to stew over all of the things that could possibly go wrong. It was easy for me to come up with a million and one ways that things could end in disaster. I didn’t even want to think of what would happen if I lost. The couple of times in my past when I lost, I was a completely miserable person to be around for quite a while.

I held myself in too high a regard to not be disappointed when my performance was less than stellar. I knew what I was capable of and when I failed to live up to my own potential I was devastated.

My eyes roved the crowd as the time passed. There were a few familiar faces: other racers, hardcore fans, groupies, etc. It felt like coming home. The night was cool and mild. A soft breeze blew in from the water, bringing the sharp tang of saltwater to my nose. The deafening rumble of engines managed to drown out the sound of crashing waves against the rocks.

I dreaded going back to the east coast. All summer, I tried to come up with a plausible reason to stay in California. I didn’t want to go back to Washington. I didn’t want to suffer through the endless fundraisers. I didn’t even know where Chester and his family spent the majority of their time. I was almost positive that Chester was still in law school, but I didn’t know where. Maybe he would give me the freedom to spend my time where I pleased. I scoffed at that idea; I knew it wasn’t ever going to happen.

Men like Chester and my father only used wives as accessories. They weren’t thought of as being people with individual dreams and aspirations. It certainly didn’t help that women like my mother went along with the perception. I couldn’t help but be angry at myself for letting my thoughts drift back to problems that I didn’t have solutions for. It was one thing to obsess over it if I knew a way out, but at the moment, I hadn’t figured out my exit strategy. I was dependent on my parents at the moment and if I refused to marry Chester, I was sure that they would withhold their financial support. I never liked being beholden to their whims. I didn’t want to rely on them for my way of life, but there had never been a way out. I couldn’t go to school without their consent: I couldn’t secure a loan on my own and with their net worth there was no way of getting financial assistance. I had my trust fund, but I was still young enough that they controlled most of the use of those funds.

I was trapped with no way out that I could find. It was only a matter of time until I was molded and forced into the little box they wanted to put me into. If that was to be my fate, then I wanted to enjoy the last bit of freedom I had to its fullest. Race after race went by in a blur. I tried to keep mental notes of the up-and-comers. The races were typically scheduled in order of profile, so the earlier your race the lower on the totem pole you were. A smart racer kept a watchful eye on those below her. I wasn’t the type to be caught off-guard by a no-name. To be fair, I wasn’t the type to be caught off-guard, period.

Rex managed to ruffle my feathers because he took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting the grass roots drive to shame me. I wasn’t expecting the cocky little so-and-so to think he actually had a chance. I certainly hadn’t done my research with him and it showed in my handling of the situation. Aubrey Red was known for being tactful and aloof. Rex managed to shake me of both of those traits with a few tweets. The sooner I had this race behind me, the better.

As my race grew closer, I felt the familiar flutter of butterflies that accompanied the adrenaline spike that preceded every heat. No matter how many times I squashed the anxious nerves, they always managed to pop back up just in time for me to climb behind the wheel.

The ‘Stang was just as anxious to get up and going as I was. It always seemed to me that she knew when a race was coming. She knew she would get to run free and uninhibited. The engine roared to life and I felt every rumble echo through my veins. We breathed in unison. She became an extension of me, my hands molded to her, the pedals were a continuation of my own limbs, and my body thrummed with the excitement that I knew she could feel, too.

Not everyone anthropomorphized their cars like I did. But Minerva and I had been through a lot. Even though I had a very real human best friend, no one quite understood me the way this one-ton hunk of steel and raw power did.

I inched her up to the starting line, patting the dash reassuringly. She wanted to go
now,
but we had to wait for the right moment. I glanced over to my right and saw Rex’s shiny Nissan next to me. His windows were darkly tinted, meaning I would have to wait until after the race to see his face. I wasn’t worried though, I didn’t need to know who I was up against to be able to kick their ass.

He revved his engine in a bout of male posturing and I mimicked him. Minerva sounded much more intimidating, biases aside. The stars twinkled overhead, but were mostly out shone by the bright lights that lined the asphalt. People came to watch the race, after all, not the constellation.

I took a deep breath, reminding myself to focus on the red light in front of me.

My heart beat a frantic rhythm against my ribcage. Why couldn’t I shake these damned nerves? I was so used to being cool and collected that this frazzled insecurity was freaking me out more than the race itself.

I made my brain focus on one thing. If my thoughts were ping-ponging around, there was no hope of me reining them in.

Just focus.
I told myself.

I searched for the one thing to focus on and he kept popping up:
Tanner
. I didn’t want to focus on him, but his half-cocked smile, his sultry gaze, his strong hands running down my body… That was a thought I could concentrate on.

Even though those thoughts were sending the blood rushing away from my brain, they still helped to calm me.

The light turned yellow and my grip tightened. Only a few more moments now.

Tanner’s long lashes and rock hard body infiltrated my mind. I imagined him at the finish line. If I was going to obsess, the least I could do was use it to my advantage.

He was standing at the out-of-sight finish line, those pythons he called arms ready to embrace me and pull me in for a kiss. His body was hard and ready to take me to his bed again. I felt a familiar quiver in between my legs and wished that my little fantasy was true. As ridiculous and complicated as any involvement with Tanner would be, I still longed for it.

Was I really just that much of a glutton for punishment? My life was crazy and convoluted enough without the addition of a secret lover.

Green.

No time to think; my body responded to the stimulus before my brain even had the time to process it. Rex and I each hurtled down the black top at break-neck speed. He was edging me out ever so slightly. I couldn’t have that. I pushed Minerva and started to creep up on him.

Despite the dark windows, I could see Rex’s silhouette do a double-take.

“That’s right, fucker, I’m still right here,” I taunted.

We were nose-to-nose. I kept looking for my moment, searching for my opportunity. He wasn’t experienced enough; surely he would choke. He would make a mistake. I just had to be patient.

The finish line came into view and my adrenaline ratcheted up another ten notches. By this point in the course I wanted to be at least a length ahead of him and there we were, dead even.

This wasn’t really happening. Had I let myself get so caught up with everything else in life that I lost my focus entirely? My brow creased; I was determined to kick this kid’s ass.

“Come on Minnie, you can do this,” I encouraged the straining Mustang.

And then, it was all over.

I zoomed across the finish line and cruised to a stop, searching the crowd for any indication of who had just won.

The crowd was going crazy. Onlookers jumped up and down, many of them had their cell phones out taking videos of the race. I still couldn’t tell who the winner was.

My jaw clenched; this not knowing was always the worst part. I’d had close races in the past, but I was always confident. This time, not so much.

I opened the door and swung my long legs out of the vehicle, pulling myself out with as much grace as I could muster. A roar of cheers and applause greeted me. I smiled and waved to my fans without an ounce of the confidence I tried to display.

My eyes roved to the officials, but they were busy conferring amongst each other. This was even closer than I thought it was. I tried to keep my hands still at my sides, resisting the urge to fidget. My mother spent years admonishing me for my nervous habits. They weren’t proper and they conveyed your uneasiness to others around you.

Racing, much like politics, was all about posturing. You couldn’t let your opponent see your weaknesses. Even if you’re driving a junker that probably won’t even make it through the course, you have to make every sad sap you run into believe that you’re going to wipe the floor with them.

Without confidence, the race is lost before it’s begun. That was one valuable lesson I learned from my parents. That and their unwavering desire to crush any and all competition.

Rex climbed out of his car and I was immediately struck by how young he looked. He couldn’t be older than nineteen. Just a kid. He was met with a nearly equal amount of cheers and applause.

Was this the end of my reign as Queen? I didn’t want to think like that. I wasn’t ready to concede just yet.

He flashed me the biggest fake grin he could plaster on that weasely face and waved. I inclined my head back at him with a strained grin. I hated him so much in that moment. To everyone else this was just a show. Our “rivalry” was part of the script. It was just entertainment. But it was more than that. This was the last piece of my life that I still retained control of. If I lost this, what else was there?

No need to get melodramatic, Elise.
I chided myself.

The officials and race organizers approached and Rex joined them. Everyone formed a little huddle around me and I suddenly felt claustrophobic. No need to panic, they just needed to discuss the results.

“So,” I asked, “who won?”

The well-dressed Latino man, Enzo, that I knew ran this whole circuit was the first to answer me. His smile was so large that I thought his face must be hurting from the effort of keeping it up.

“It’s wonderful!” he exclaimed, pulling out an iPad with the images of the finish line.

He scrolled through the images from every angle. In every angle I saw the same thing: we were tied. There was no getting around it.

“Your rivalry was a huge draw for us tonight. For a finish like this… This is the kind of stuff dreams are made of.”

Rex looked far too pleased with himself. I felt a scowl settle onto my face.

“So, what does this mean?”

Enzo was practically bouncing with excitement, but one of the officials answered for him.

“We’re going to have to schedule a re-match.”

“Fine,” I answered tersely. “Let’s reset and do this.”

I was already trying to break the huddle to get back into my car. I was over-eager to prove myself. I didn’t want to have a tie tarnish my standings. It wasn’t me.

Enzo shook his head, still ginning like a Cheshire cat.

“No, we’ll do the re-match in two weeks. We have to build up the buzz. This is going to be huge.”

So now they were using my failure as a marketing ploy? This was a nightmare.

Rex smirked, still so satisfied with himself. It was hard to remind myself that he was just a kid; he wasn’t worth the trouble of getting annoyed with. Then again, I had underestimated him before and that’s what landed me in this position.

“Fine. Two weeks,” I ground out, thrusting my hand toward Rex for the shake.

“I look forward to the victory,” he said smugly, shaking my hand with a limp grip.

Enzo paraded us before the crowd before snatching up a microphone to make the announcement.

I tried to hide my sulking. Of course I was disappointed with my performance, but that didn’t mean I could drop my persona. Aubrey was unflappable. She was a badass and there was no coming between her and a win. Elise was more easily defeated, but this was not the time or the place for Elise.