Chasing Imperfection (Chasing Series 2) (25 page)

       I should’ve kept my opinions to myself but my
ever
colorful imagination got the best of me. I was getting used to being friendly with him and my irrational self had to go put a damper on it.

      I wanted to meet Kyle before I leave for Marbella but decided against it. Instead, I
shot
him a text message
.

     Me: Hi
. I’m leaving tomorrow with everyone except for Luce. I’m sorry but I don’t think I can continue being stuck in this odd position I am now. I need to be alone and deal with my feeling
s
with Blake first.
I’m sorry Kyle. I didn’t want it to be like this but I don’t have a choice. Take care.

    
It is better this way, I tried to convince myself.

     Since I will head straight to the airport after picking up Chad, I immediately started packing. The plan was for me to stay there for five days to a week, depending on how Chad is doing and how accommodating my teachers are. I promised them that I would at least show up for a class once or twice every two week
s
. On top of that, I have to turn in my assignments on time.

    
I
decided to hit the sack at nine p
.
m. I pressed play on my music player and the sound of Pavane by Pablo Segovia Gardel eased my tension. I f
ell into a deep
,
peaceful sleep thinking how surreal
;
I haven’t listened to baroque guitar music in awhile….
and how odd that it was the first thing that popped up….

    Robert, Blake’s chauffer, rang exactly at nine in the morning. I was half-dressed and decided to down my lukewarm coffee.
I woke up at eight-ish and
lounged
around in my half awakened state. By the time I hit the shower, it was twenty before nine. I was in panic mode and I didn’t get t
he chance to put any make-up on. I was dressed in all white
with nude Louboutin pumps on. I donned
a bright lavender pashmina scarf on
to give a splash of color. I le
f
t my wet hair down because I didn’t get the chance to properly dry it.

     With my aviator shades on, I dragged my luggage out the door. Luce quickly shooed me away and promised she will visit in a couple of days. She looked downright haggard. Love has its ups and downs
a
nd she’s obviousl
y in the down department. How I wish
she can just forget about what Toby’s parents want and follow her heart.

     By the time I reached Chad, he was impatiently tapping his foot on the floor. “Babe—I’m so happy that you’re finally out! You look like
my
Chad with your painted jeans on and sweater. Good riddance hospital garb.”

     “I thought you changed your mind about picking me up
or
you were still passed out. But
seeing
how wet your hair is, I’m assuming that you simply lagged and processed everything
this morning
like you had a virus or something.”

     “Whoa, why in the world would I change my mind
about
picking you up? We’re all in this together. Don’t forget that okay?
Drill
it in your beautiful head that we are not going away because the going gets tough. So, just stop it with the pity party because you’re stuck with me for the next few days.”

     Looking radiant, he grabbed my arm and we exited the building. Robert awaited us and graciously opened the door. “Good day sire, I’m Robert. Mr. Knightly instructed me to take you back to your flat and drive you both to Gatwick.”

     “Hello
Robert, I’m Chad. It’s great to meet you
,
”
h
e acknowledged as we both slid into the
awaiting Bentley and into the
cool co
nfines of soft black leather seats.

     “Isn’t Blake
the best
babygirl?
I mean hell look at what he’s doing for me?
He’s been so,
so good
. I feel like I’m going to cry every time I think about what he’s done so far. Who would’ve thought the man has a heart of pure gold? You’d think with all that wealth and aristocratic handsomeness that he would be a twit deep down
but
lo and behold, the man surpasses everything beyond belief.”

     I sighed. He was right, but I didn’t feel like agreeing and gush
ing
about the great Blake Knightly.

     “Silence is golden they say….but aren’t you a wee bit regretful turning him down? I mean—come on—Blake
proposed
and you don’t look bothered at all.”
My friend kept ranting on.

    
Great, why don’t we swap sex stories right where dear old Robert can hear you loud and clear
Chad
?
I wanted to yell but held my tongue.

     I don’t look bothered,
seriously?
What the hell was I supposed to do when you find out the man you fell for lied and never once uttered a word about being betrothed? I couldn’t just put that aside because I was deeply hurt. We needed time apart and see if being together was something I—
we
—wanted.

     “That’s water under the bridge babe. It is what it is.” Chad would be appalled how things unfolded after he got a
dmitted in the hospital. But I was
saving that overloaded chitchat
for when
he’s settled and happy.

     “Seriously, Sienna… I love you but you can be really dumb and stupid sometimes.”

   
What the fuck?
Did he really just say that? Grrrr….

     “
Excuse me?
” I glared at his serious expression.

   
“I do love you babygirl, but this man seriously loved you and you let him go. You’re going to cry
foul
when he finds happiness elsewhere.
W
hen you realize how much you need him, he’ll be the one to dump your nicely shaped, beautiful ass.”

     “What do you
think
,
Robert?”
Chad asked Blake’s driver. I wanted to kick his scrotum sack right then and there.

     “Err pardon but were you asking my opinion of Ms. Sienna’s bottom,
sire
?
” Hell is a bitch they say. I am beyond red with embarrassment.

     “
That too
—but her turning down your handsome boss like Blake Knightly didn’t matter.”

    
Blake mattered
, damn it. Chad just doesn’t get it. But I didn’t want to get riled up when my dear friend is starting to live again. If he thinks my love life is something to be ridiculed at the moment—
which
it
surely is
—then I’ll let him have a ball with it.
I gave up glaring at Chad!

     “
My sire is a lovely chap. You must be a very special woman if the young sire chose you, Ms. Sienna.”

     “
Uh…thank you,” I murmured
, mortified
.

     The trip to Chad’s studio was quick. He basically threw everything in his luggage without bother. It was either he
doesn’t care about
packing properly or he wants to immediately leave. I’m assuming it’s th
e latter. Too
many
ghosts lying
around London that
he
hasn’t exorcised yet.

     When we met the trio at Gatwick, they were rather gloomy and dismal except for Luke. He and Chad got on
instantly
. They looked like they knew each other for a long time. I’m sure Blake briefed him about Chad and what’s happened. I hope
d
Luke can talk to him about what he’s going through and can shed a different light
on
our disheartened man.

     Do all gays go through the same situation about coming out and coming to terms
with
their sexual identity? I mean it’s hard enough to go through life itself, but
add
another problem with your sexuality being shunned by your family? That’s a lot to take. I know that parents influence their children from the very start and we, us kids, strive hard to please and make our parents proud of us
. Their opinion and approval matter. I suppose some parents are understanding and give their full love and support to those who come out of the closet. But if you come across with parents
who
are like Chad’s, how can one survive without stripping yourself bare with hurt, pain and rejection?

     We were ushered to a private departure area and boarded Blake’
s Gulfstream jet. I took in the
luxurious
soft-hued
interior
and
was overwhelmed by
the blatant
opulence of my surroundings.

    
Blake certainly rotates in another orbit. I mean there
are people
who
are living comfortably
(me) and
then
there
are
people
who live
with all the comfort that wealth can offer
(Blake)
, t
he
great divide. I
t must be nice to have a private jet at your beck and call.

     I sat next to the glum looking Toby
who looked worse for wear
. Across
from me
sat Luke and Chad. Blake was situated on the other opposite side of the plane going through papers and barking out orders on his phone.

     A giggly stewardess greeted Toby and I looked up to check who it was.
Well
, s
urprise surprise, if it isn’t
the
infamous Ivanna—dressed to the nines with what looked like a stewardess uniform and an Hermes scarf stylishly wrapped around her neck.

     “Ivanna, we meet again. What a lovely surprise
,
” Toby drawled (he sounded so fake).

    
“Yes, good to see you too and you as well Sienna.” I gave her a frown/smile. I don’t what that must’ve looked like but
that’s what it
felt like. When she moved past us and went over to Blake’s, I looked away.

     “You and Luce looked like shit
,
”
Chad observed.

     I glanced
over to
his
poor state. The boyish easy charm was gone. He looked utterly haunted.

    
“She broke up with me and I couldn’t do much about it
,
” Toby quietly admitted with grief.

     “
Shut the front door!
”
Chad exclaimed. “
You guys didn’t! I saw her yesterday and she didn’t say a word. What the hell you guys! No one tells me any juice anymore.” Chad pouted and was about to sulk but snapped out of it. He reached
for
Toby’s hand, “Whatever Lucy’s on, she’ll come out of it soon enough
. She loves you hun
.”

     “I doubt that, my family did a superb job in slashing my love life to shreds
,
”
h
e said and focused on work once his laptop came to life.

     Dear God, I hate seei
ng them like this. Everything was
downright depressing. With all this shit storm that we’ve endured, surely there’s a light at the end of the tunnel?