CHASING LIFE (8 page)

‘
Help yourselves.’ He waved a casual hand. Whatever zone he had tapped into brought him to a level of great confidence. Everything that came out of his mouth was just right, as if a higher power was controlling him. He wasn’t just an observer, and it seemed he could do no wrong. He was in the zone.

‘Thanks
, mate.’ Sam took a cigarette for himself and one for Carla.

‘Gorgeous people here
,’ Dave commented and found his words slurred. ‘I didn’t expect to end up in this kind of a club.’

‘
A lot of models come from Europe, both male and female. They can’t make it there, so they try their luck here. They look loaded and glamorous, but the sad reality is that most of them are broke. They have nothing between their ears.’ Sam gestured toward his head. ‘They’re fucking dumb. I sound harsh but it’s true. These kids grow up in a world of vanity, and they’re shocked when it disintegrates. Then everyone has their way with them. It’s all a show, my friend.’

‘No shit?’
he was surprised by Sam’s remark. It was as if he’d seen it too many times.

‘We’ll go in the other room in a minute
.’

‘No worries.
’ Sam was called by a newcomer and Dave turned to search for Erin among the group. She stood out from the other girls. There was an aura about her that set her apart. Erin was in a class above the rest, an individual among templates. Although she was still refusing to meet his eyes, he walked across and sat next to her on the lounge. He knew she was watching him, he could feel it.

‘Hi
. Are we having fun yet?’ A nervous sensation mixed with excitement came over him just being next to her.

‘Yes
, and you?’

‘I’m loving it. Don’t forget that dance I asked for.’

‘I haven’t,’ Erin replied, sitting elegantly cross-legged. She was showing no sign of any interest, but there was no disinterest either. She gave him just enough to keep him hooked. Meanwhile he noticed an attractive European brunette, one of Carla’s friends, scoping him out quite openly. On occasion, a smile came his way at the off chance they happened to look at each other. It was clear she was a sure thing, and he was being given the green light. But that created a dilemma. Stay with Erin and risk getting nothing but mixed signals, or go with this new chick that was pretty good looking? What to do? He got up to talk to one of Sam’s friends and to get a closer look at her.

S
omething about Erin drew him, and he couldn’t ignore it. On the surface, she played it cool and conservative, slightly detached but responsive when prodded. In effect, she had him under her control—and it seemed to be just the way she liked it. She brushed other guys off, but he himself wasn’t chased when he tested her by distancing himself. She knew he would come back and he liked the idea. The game she was playing didn’t bother him. He felt somewhat exclusive to her and yet not assured she was his.

For
such a long time he’d been in a relationship and out of the meat market. Getting back into the singles arena was frightening. However, he was older now and his priorities had changed. He had expected to be a father by now, changing dirty nappies and doing kindergarten drop-offs. To get back to that point, if possible at all, would take a long time.

The
sexy brunette brushed past Dave, intentionally invading his personal space, her fragrant perfume lingering behind her. His attention turned in her direction, but it wasn’t enough—he didn’t bite. Erin was in his sights, sitting on a lounge by herself in a pick-up venue full of horny guys. She sat as if waiting for a bus; her hands were clasped on her knees—again, cross-legged—swinging a foot back and forth with an expression of indifference and aloofness. She could have been humming a tune while waiting for a bus. Dave thought he’d lingered around the perimeter for long enough, and slid beside her.

‘How about that
dance?’ he asked.

‘Okay,
’ Erin replied, getting easily to her feet. Dave immediately realised it wasn’t a good move, but once he said something he had to follow through. He was swinging his arms from side to side like a cripple, bobbing up and down and stomping his feet now and then. The more effort he put into it, the more ridiculous he felt and looked. Erin flowed with the rhythm and moved in harmony with the music as if the sound itself travelled on the surface of her skin and motioned her body to express itself. She would close her eyes and seemed to connect with the vibrations in the room that created a pulsating energy. In utter fascination, Dave watched her move, as if in slow motion,. From the wavy hair splashing over her face, down her breasts, to her flat stomach and finally her long elegant legs, Erin was immersed in a world of her own with one foot, and in his with the other.

‘Are
you perving at me or dancing?’ she asked with a sardonic squint in her eye.

‘A little
of both.’ Dave was caught out and embarrassed. Erin hovered within a breath away from his lips, grabbed his hips with both hands and inserted her knee between his thighs.

‘M
ove your hips slowly.’ She directed with her hands, his hips following her commands in awkward jerks. He felt her body heat and smelled her perfume, sparking excitement in him. The rubbing motion between his nether regions was accelerating the build-up of a bulge in his pants. It certainly didn’t need further encouragement. Dave was getting a hard-on, and she would feel it at any moment.

He went red and panicked. ‘L
et’s take a break. Shall we go outside for some fresh air?’ he spoke in her ear with urgency.

‘
Okay.’ Erin laughed and followed him out. The bulge reached full strength, and it made walking uncomfortable, as he desperately tried to cover up his shame. He prayed no one noticed. In the undercover section outside, they found a private table away from the loud music. The air was still warm and humid, but the rain had subsided. Large indoor palm trees, burning bamboo sticks with lavender incense and a smiling Buddha statue gave a tropical feel to the velvet night. It was like a set from some Hollywood movie: tacky but just right to create the atmosphere.

‘It’
s funny, you know,’ Dave ventured, his eyes wandering.

‘What is?’

‘I couldn’t feel more detached from the experience I’ve had tonight and I felt quite comfortable.’

Erin
placed her back against a wall, tilted her head to one side and tucked her hands behind her back. She looked at him with a satisfied smile on her face.

‘What are you
thinking?’ Dave asked.

‘N
o more talking,’ she replied quietly. There wasn’t need for talking and they each had a knowing smile on their face. Both understood what was meant to happen next. Dave could stand there and look at her like a statue or actually do something. He closed in and kissed her gently on her warm lips, their bodies pressed against each other. With one arm around her waist, he pulled her closer to him and felt her breasts push into his chest. Erin gave out a long breath and moaned. She ran her fingers through his hair and caressed him down along his back.

Dave didn’t rush. H
e enjoyed the moment and the feeling of her body wrapped around him, avoiding any moves that might put her off. It felt natural, and he realised she was guiding his caresses. After a while they stopped for a breather, had a sip of their drinks and sparked up a cigarette.

‘You’re a bad influence on me,
’ she said teasingly.

‘I’m on a high,
’ Dave replied. His eyes were half closed and he felt his mind let go for the first time in years. His chest had lost the anxiety he’d felt on a constant basis for the past three years, and a radiating feeling replaced it. It was bliss. He’d tasted the life he’d thought was long out of his reach—and he didn’t have to do anything. It somehow had found him. There was no judgment; no one was there to scrutinise him or to provide an opinion on his erratic decisions.

Glanc
ing down at Erin’s slender arms, he noticed an inscription tattooed on the inside of her wrist. He’d seen that kind of writing before and cradled her wrist in his hand for a closer look.

‘What’s that?’
he asked.

‘My tat?’ S
he looked down and read the words in a language he didn’t understand. ‘It’s in Hebrew.’

‘Are you Jewish?’
Dave asked.

‘No.
I’m a devout Christian actually.’

‘Oh
, really?’ he mocked.

‘Yes
, really. I’m actually a good girl,’ Erin winked, then feigned an innocent look.

‘Why does an Asian girl have a Jewish tattoo?’

‘They have been the most persecuted people in history and yet they have persevered. For me, it’s a statement of resilience, perseverance and survival.’ 

‘
Is that what the translation is?’ he asked. Before she got a chance to respond, Sam and Carla came out and joined them. Carla practically threw herself at Erin, giving her friend a big hug. The attractive woman was thoroughly wasted and barely able to stand.

‘Hello!
Are you okay, babe?’ Carla managed to drag out her words.

‘Yeah, how about you
, babe? Having fun?’ Erin laughed and returned the hug with an equal enthusiasm.

‘Yes!
’ Carla stumbled, trying to keep her balance, and smiled for no apparent reason.

‘We’re going back to
The Base, Dave,’ Sam said. ‘This place is closing up. We’ll continue at my place.’ Sam had been drinking harder than anyone else, on account of everyone shouting him drinks. He was buying bottles of wine himself and yet, miraculously, the man was still in total control of his faculties.

‘Let’s do it!’ Dave
shouted enthusiastically. He wasn’t up for ending the night and would happily go on partying. Although he’d been drinking all night, hadn’t eaten since his last meal on the plane, and his clothes were saturated by the rain, Dave couldn’t care one bit. The world was a good place right now. He had no idea where such energy came from. He’d tripped over some mysterious zone, and he would happily squeeze every last drop of energy left in him.

The whole
posse gathered, losing some while others joined in, but it was still a good size. While stumbling and carrying on along the footpath, they managed to keep the machinery going. Dave was part of the whole component, just like anyone else. If an outsider saw them, they would guess this was a band of old friends having a piss-up. It looked as simple as that and, for at that moment, that’s exactly what it was.

Crowds from other streets spil
led out into the open as venues shut their doors, and taxis dominated the road traffic. Walking to The Base was part of the fun. One of Sam’s Scottish friends was already hard to understand on account of his accent. But in his drunken stupor he was incomprehensible—ending every sentence of his story with, ‘Fockin ell, ey?’ Adding to the hilarity, his Russian girlfriend served as his translator, and she had an accent thicker than him. No one could understand either of them. People would ask them questions for the sake of hearing them babble. Erin discreetly wrapped her arm around him and moved closer. Her intimacy took him by surprise, but he liked it very much.

Chapter
10

At 4:00 in the morning, the energy levels at The Base were bottoming out, but Sam brought a bucket of ice with an enormous bottle of Gray Goose vodka in it and slammed it on the table. The Scotsman’s eyes opened wide at the sight of more alcohol before he mumbled something and passed out, his Russian girlfriend quickly tending to him. Some brave souls went on drinking and others kept dancing. Dave and Erin sat on a lounge sofa next to each other, watching people absent-mindedly. They were happy to do nothing.

When
Erin looked at her watch, she pushed her glass of vodka away and asked for water instead.

‘Are you okay?’ Dave asked.

‘I’m fine,’ she answered. ‘Just need to sober up. I have to go soon. I have a lot to do tomorrow.’

The notion of
Erin’s leaving alarmed him. ‘Do I get your number?’ he asked.

‘Sure, but I won’t have this for long,’ she said without hesitation. Dave added it to his contact list and dialled it to make sure she got his number too.
‘Have you thought of another word yet?’ she queried.

‘
Word?’

‘Hong Kong. I asked you to give me another word by the end of the night to describe it.’

‘How about “unforgettable”?’ he replied.

‘Flattering, but I’m sure you’ve had better m
oments than this. Keep thinking and let me know next time I see you.’

‘
All right,’ Dave laughed. ‘What are you doing tomorrow?’

‘Packing,’
Erin answered. ‘I’m leaving Hong Kong.’

‘What?’ He withdrew his arm instantly on hearing the news and looked straight at her. She pivoted to face him.

‘Why don’t you come with me?’ Erin smiled.

‘Where are you going?’

‘It’ll be amazing, I promise. Just say yes, and I’ll tell you,’ she said, excited at her own invitation. Dave shuddered at those words. Why had they resonated with him?

‘Are you serious
?’ was the only thing he could reply with.

‘Yes
, I’m serious. We’ll have fun.’ She spoke with excitement and took his hand in hers, squeezing it as if trying to pull an answer out of him. Her fingers were long and delicate, cushioned by his large hand.

‘I can’t just say yes without knowing where I’m going.’

‘Why not?’ Her lips were so close to his he could feel her warm breath.

‘What do you mean
, why not?’

‘Why did you come to Hong Kong?’

‘I know where you’re going with that but …’

‘Just answer the question Dave, no bullshit. Liberate your
self. You’re in a unique position. You’re obviously looking to change your life.’ Erin had him on the spot. He looked in her imposing eyes and couldn’t think of an answer. All he knew is that he wanted her, but he couldn’t say it. He was overwhelmed by her presence, her smell, her perfectly symmetrical features. And most of all, he felt alive around her, and that scared him.

‘But
, I just got here.’

‘So? And I’ll as
k again: what are you doing in Hong Kong? And don’t tell me you just came for a holiday, I don’t believe it.’

‘
I had to go away and experience life. This trip will help me find something. I can’t explain it. It must sound silly. This is all too sudden for me, and I can’t just take off again.’ He shook his head and rambled on as if desperately rummaging for the right words. Erin looked at her watch and got up with an expression of disappointment that said she’d wasted her time. He was losing her.

‘I’ve got to go. It’s late,’ Erin said and grabbed her bag. He felt like he’d let her down and was still struggling for something meaningful to say, something that would make her stay just a little longer. Dave watched her say goodbye to her friends when Carla called him over from across the table.

‘Would you walk her out
, Dave? Just make sure she gets into a cab.’ she winked.

‘
Yes, of course.’ Good thinking Carla, he thought to himself. That would buy him time.

He
was glad someone was looking out for him. Why was he feeling like a nervous teenager out on his first date? He realised it was because it kind of was. He hadn’t done this for years. But he’d just met Erin—why was he acting so serious? He shook his head and thought to himself, unbelievable, getting attached to the first girl I hang out with when there’s so much more to do. But this girl was different. What she represented scared him. Could he fall for another woman? The street was packed with more taxis than customers at that time in the morning. Erin stopped in front of one and turned to give him a kiss goodbye. Her hair was swaying in the wind and brushed his face. She got inside and put the window down.

‘You didn’t tell me what your tattoo meant,’ he said, trying to play it cool in his last moment with her.

‘Chasing life!’ Erin yelled out and the cab pulled away.

‘T
ell me where you’re going and what you’re doing there,’ he called after her. But she just smiled back at him as the taxi drove off down the labyrinth of streets and disappeared. He stayed out on the street for some time before going back in. It wasn’t as lively and energetic to him anymore, even though it hadn’t changed much.

His energy levels were going down
, and a growling stomach came with it. The attractive girl who had been eyeing him out at Serene was there, still looking at him with an inviting expression. She was waiting on him to make a move. But he didn’t have the motivation to do anything about it. Erin was still on his mind. The club suddenly felt empty and it made him anxious. He hung around trying to find a place for himself, but somehow it wasn’t right anymore. It was as if the life had been whisked out of it. The hunger pains niggled in his gut, and the alcohol was taking its toll—it was time to leave. He made the decision to call it a night and found Sam.

‘I’m out
ta here man. I’m drained,’ he said.

‘Yeah
, I’m buggered too. But I’ve got to hang around and close up. Did you have a good night?’

‘Fantastic. T
hanks, mate.’

‘No problem. A
m I seeing you tomorrow night?’

‘For sure.
’ Dave said, glad to hear he was still welcome.

‘Take care,’ Sam
said and farewelled Dave.

Once outside,
Dave got into the nearest taxi and gave the driver directions to his hotel. Then he noticed the meter wasn’t on.

‘Why isn’t the met
er on?’ he demanded. His mood had soured.

‘Wha?’

‘The meter. Why isn’t it on?’ Dave pointed at it and raised his voice.

‘Don’t worry, it’s okay. It’s okay
.’

‘No it’s not okay
! Turn the meter on, or I’ll get out and get another cab.’ His anger returned within seconds. He wasn’t up for getting ripped off at this time of the night by a smart-arse cabbie.

‘Okay, okay
,’ the driver responded as if he’d made a slight oversight. Then they were off. Dave’s head was buzzing from the loud music and his mind wandered back to Erin, replaying every moment from the time he met her to the moment she departed. He would call her; as soon as he woke up he’d give her a call and spend some time with her. The taxi stopped, and he saw the sign of Ragan Hotel. On the horizon, the arrival of a new day made its announcement as darkness lifted and light peered through faintly.

‘
Seventy dollar,’ the driver said.

‘
It says fifty-five on the meter,’ Dave pointed again.

‘Wha?’

‘It says fifty-five on your bloody meter!’ Dave was pointing furiously.

‘Okay, okay. F
ifty fie.’ The driver waved his hands about in resignation and Dave handed him a one-hundred Hong Kong dollar note.

‘And I want change,
smart-arse,’ he muttered. When he got out he slammed the door in protest. Dave wasn’t sure why he’d gotten irritated so quickly. His stomach was still grumbling, and he felt a headache coming on. He took a cigarette out of his pack and lit it. The feeling grossed him out, and he threw it away in disgust, his thoughts turning to food instead. If he didn’t have anything to eat, he knew he’d suffer in the morning. Next door a 24-hour convenience store sold cold sandwiches. He bought two and a couple of bottles of water before making the arduous journey back to the room. Once he scraped himself inside he scoffed the food down, took a quick shower and slumped into the bed. He was out cold within minutes.

It wasn’t until later in the afternoon that Dave finally came around and woke up with a pounding headache. It felt like a footballer kicked his head instead of the ball. His room was up on the eighteenth floor, and the window had a pretty decent view of the city. The towering apartment buildings were lost in a hazy smog, and the gloomy sky seemed oppressive, but the streets were flooded with people busily going about. Even though he had no inclination to venture out of bed, he decided to make the most of the day and take a walk.

             
His thoughts would always go to Julia when he’d wake up. He peered at the bathroom mirror, mumbling, ‘What a mess I am.’ When she was alive, he’d reach for Julia and watch her a while, then he’d give her a kiss on the forehead and tell her he loved her. Now, he was brushing his teeth alone with the enthusiasm of a zombie. The previous night Dave had met an amazing girl, he’d had a great time and forgotten all his worries. The night was so incredible it was surreal. The feelings he experienced were amazing but quickly forgotten, because for him, reality was misery. He took a couple of Aspirins for his splitting headache and washed them down with water, a familiar routine.

With one foot in front of the other,
he cautiously stepped inside the shower and waited for the head-spins to subside. Loud buzzing in his head threatened to tip him off balance. It felt like a couple of hammers were banging on the inside of his skull, trying to break through the wall. The smart thing to do would be to get some food into his ravaged gut so he could function again. But he waited until the drugs gave him what he needed, so he’d be capable of movement.

The pi
lls were taking effect, and he pushed himself into action. It was late afternoon. He dressed and with a new map in hand, he set off to catch a Star Ferry heading for the shopping centre in Kowloon City. It was his first time on such a large ferry. The ones in Melbourne were small and mainly for tourist. He found these as easy as catching a bus, but a lot more exciting on account of travelling at sea. The city skyline from the ferry was impressive. The sheer size of Hong Kong and its development was an inspiring sight, but one he couldn’t fully appreciate on account of his physical state.

They disembarked and followed the masses of people
on their way to the shopping precinct—light skin and black hair being the dominant sight. For the first time he truly felt like a foreigner, immersed in the Chinese population, among words he couldn’t understand.

Harbour City
Shopping Centre was a grand attraction built on a scale he hadn’t seen before, a Goliath of a retail development. And he could see why, the floors were packed full of people, a large number of them young, thin and very well dressed. The air was alive with inaudible white noise, an orgy of chatter. Worldwide brands and labels were represented for the convenience and pleasure of consumers happy to part with their earnings.

Dave’s curiosity led him into a Prada store. Items with prices had so many zeros behind the number; it made him gasp and
he didn’t bother converting the currency in his head. Such a high-end flagship store would naturally attract less clientele and he guessed the others inside were just curious browsers like himself. A young Chinese girl walked in with a confident stride. She wore a bright red business skirt, matching lipstick, and a tight black top with golden earrings dangling from her delicate earlobes.  

Her clouded
but attractive face put her in her early twenties at most. Immaculately combed hair with straight cut fringe fluttered like waves as she bobbed and bounced with an unconvincing strut. Her heels were so high it seemed she was imitating a human skyscraper. She ignored the sales lady that rushed to greet her and went straight for the items of interest, bags. The sales lady followed like a lapdog, with a smile and a slight bow, standing quietly behind her.

             
The girl pointed to four bags, snapped a few remarks and the sales lady rushed to pack them up. There were no polite exchanges from her end; she knew what she wanted and didn’t waste time. She was politely asked for payment, and that’s when the wad of cash came out, from her own very expensive looking Gucci bag. Dave wasn’t the only one in the store watching the transaction in bewilderment. Perhaps in Paris, or LA, but in China? The girl barked out instructions and pointed to her watch before walking out. A delivery boy rushed out and followed after her with the goods. He walked over to the bags. The four of them totalled just over forty thousand US dollars.

‘Wow,’ he murmured and moved on. The headline
Dave had seen in the newspaper earlier immediately came to mind,
China’s upper and middle class on the rise, youth spending more and not saving
. Only, this was spending on another level.