Chasing Mrs. Right (14 page)

Chapter Twenty-Two

The loft wasn’t empty when Ian unlocked the front door. He stopped in the doorway and stared at Nathan, who lay sprawled over the entirety of the couch, his forearm covering his eyes as if the bare light of the single lamp was too much to bear. It was all very dramatic, which was completely unlike Nathan. Ian figured he hadn’t done it on purpose, but he wasn’t in the mood to be charitable. “What are you doing here? Waiting for your True Love’s kiss? ’Cause that shit isn’t going to happen.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“So obviously the logical solution is to drive into town and not sleep here.” Ian shook his head. “You want a beer?” Because he could sure as hell use one after his run. He’d come home from working on his house and been so damn restless he’d tossed on a pair of shorts and run so far his legs were shaking.

It still didn’t help.

“Actually, yeah.” Nathan sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I figured you weren’t sleeping much these days, between adjusting to being back in town and a certain pretty brunette.”

“She’s not an issue anymore.” Ian tossed a beer over and opened one of his own. Since his fight with Roxanne, he’d been craving something harder than beer, but he knew enough to know drinking whiskey was a terrible idea right now. He’d all but given up hard alcohol after he got back from the desert. The exception being the night he got back into town, and look how well
that
had turned out.

Nathan shook his head, concern lighting his face. “I thought things were going well with her.”

“They were.” All week, when he was ripping up carpet, steaming down wallpaper, or breaking tile into tiny little pieces, he wasn’t thinking about Roxanne. Except it didn’t really work. She was always there, in the back of his mind, right next to all the unforgivable shit he’d said to her that night. Now, with the space of time and distance between them, he could acknowledge how fucked up he’d been when he’d left the restaurant that night. He’d known what a big deal saying “I love you” was to her, and he’d turned around and told her he couldn’t be with her.

Considering the conversation they’d had not twenty-four hours previous to that, he shouldn’t have been surprised that she’d reacted the way she did.

“What happened?”

“I lost it at dinner with my family last Friday.” Even now, the pressure in his chest thumped at the memory. “It was a mess. So I ended things.”

“Wait. You dumped Roxanne because you fought with your family?”

“Yes.” It was the best for her. He couldn’t subject her to all of his shit.

“I hate to say it, but your logic might be flawed. Then again, relationships have been ended over less.” Nathan dropped back onto the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table.

Ian took the chair opposite—the same chair Roxanne had sat in barely two weeks ago. God, he needed to stop thinking about her. She deserved better than he could give her. If only his heart would acknowledge that logic and stop aching in his chest.

Then what Nathan said registered. That hadn’t sounded like a meaningless platitude—that sounded like the voice of experience talking. “What do you mean?”

Nathan smiled, but not like anything was funny. “There was a woman, a long time ago. It’s ancient history now.”

As much as he cared about his best friend, he didn’t like to think that this was his future—to be sitting there years from now, telling this story with the ghost of Roxanne in his eyes. Because, whoever this chick was, Nathan hadn’t walked away whole. Ian wanted to ask for more details since this was the first time Nathan had brought her up, but he wasn’t sure the other man would welcome the questions. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. And as I said, it’s ancient history.”

It sure didn’t
sound
like ancient history.

Still, Ian let it go. There didn’t seem to be many safe subjects to talk about these days. “So why can’t you sleep? Nightmares?”

“More like general insomnia—can’t seem to turn my brain off.” Nathan shrugged. “I usually come to this loft to think or plot out my next project.”

“What are you working on now?” Ian had seen the works Nathan had set up on the gallery floor, and the sheer level of detail in those scrap-metal sculptures amazed him. With a talent like that, he wasn’t sure why Nathan had bothered to enlist in the first place—he knew for a fact the man made a killing selling his art.

Nathan tipped back his beer, draining half of it. “I’m in between projects. I’ve finished the one I was working on the night you got into town, and now I’m in the planning stages of another. It’s inspired by Icarus.”

“Wasn’t that the kid with wings?”

“He had a pair, but they were made by his father. He was warned not to fly to high, or too low, but he managed to do both.” Nathan picked at his beer label. “The story speaks to me.”

Yeah, Ian could see how it would. He identified with walking a fine line between one extreme and the other. On one side, he had the gaping hole of his past, all too willing to suck him under if he were weak enough to give in to the anxiety that pressed him. On the other, he had run the risk of losing himself in Roxanne. That hadn’t seemed like a bad thing at the time, but with the sick feeling in his stomach only growing as the minutes ticked by, he was forced to face reality—falling in love with Roxanne might have been even worse than turning into a paranoid basket case.

“So what are you going to do?”

That was the question. “What am I supposed to do? Things are the way they are.”

“I’m going to give you a piece of unsolicited advice.”

“Can we do this another time?” With everything such a toxic mess in his head, Ian wasn’t ready to add another voice to the confusion.

“Nope.” Nathan rolled off the couch and to his feet in a ridiculously graceful motion. “If you love her, make things right. If you don’t, you’re always going to wonder if you could have done something to make it work. Don’t do that to yourself.”

“She deserves a man with a less complicated situation than I have.”

“Life is complicated. There isn’t going to come a time when everything magically falls into place between two perfect people. You have to take your happiness where you can get it, and it sounded like she made you happy.” Nathan laughed. “Jesus, I’m like Dr. Phil over here or something. You know I had a pretty damn similar conversation with my brother not too long ago about Elle. He chose to keep trying, and they managed to work their issues out. Maybe you and Roxanne can, too.”

Ian spoke without thinking. “What happened to that girl? The one who got away? Is there any chance for
you
to make things right?”

The silence stretched on so long, he opened his mouth to apologize for overstepping. If Nathan didn’t want to talk about his past, it was none of Ian’s goddamn business. But then Nathan sighed, his shoulders dropping. “I don’t know.”

Since he hadn’t completely shut him down, Ian asked, “Have you ever thought of trying again?”

“Every damn day.” Nathan cleared his throat and looked away. “But enough about me. What are you going to do about Roxanne?”

“I don’t know.” Up until two minutes ago, he hadn’t been planning on doing anything other than trying to move on with his life. But Nathan’s words resonated with him. She
did
make him happy, and he was pretty sure he did the same for her. Was that enough to create a lasting relationship?

He looked at his best friend, at the weary way his shoulders sloped and the shadows in his eyes, and suddenly knew that if he didn’t at least try to make things work with her,
this
would be his future. No one had ever touched him on the level Roxanne did before now.

Could he go through his life running the risk he’d never find it again?

No. He loved this woman. He wasn’t perfect—would never be perfect—but like Nathan had said, life wasn’t perfect. What he had with her was something special, though. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

Now that he’d decided to do something about this mess, it was everything Ian could do not to go running out the door right now. The only thing stopping him was the fact that he
didn’t
have a plan, and showing up at Roxanne’s place without one would be a mistake. He’d only get one chance at this, so he had to make it count.

“Have you tried groveling with flowers and chocolates? Maybe buy her a piece of artwork? I hear both those things work.”

Groveling wouldn’t do a damn thing, and she wasn’t much of an art fan. He needed something to make Roxanne stop and take notice. “I need something…bigger.”

“What does this
bigger
look like?”

Christ if he knew. Ian sighed. “I’m going to have to think about it.”

“You’ll come up with something.”

The vote of confidence might have felt stronger if he had any idea of how to move forward. “Yeah. I’m sure I will.”

“Just keep tearing into whatever part of your house you’re focusing on now, and I’m sure it’ll come to you.”

“I’ll do that.” He paused. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Like I said, I’m here if you need me. And on that note, I’m going home.” Nathan grabbed his keys and walked out the door, leaving Ian alone with his thoughts once more. He’d figure this shit out. He just needed to pull the right trigger to get Roxanne’s attention.

Chapter Twenty-Three

“Ouch!” Roxanne jammed her shoulder against the house as she reached for the doorknob. It was so early in the morning the dew hadn’t evaporated off the grass. Hell, the sun was barely up. The things she did for love. “Hang on while I get this.”

“I
am
hanging on.” Elle’s voice was muffled. “Pretty sure I left a portion of my foot back on the porch step, though.”

The door opened beneath her hand. “Got it.”

“Tell me why we’re doing this again?”

Roxanne wobbled as she used her heel to push the door open farther. “Because I screwed up and you told me I needed to fix it.”

“Yeah, I get
that
. What I don’t get is why we’re hauling your favorite dresser into Ian’s unfinished house at six in the morning.”

She could barely see the top of Elle’s blond head on the other side of the dresser. “Here, let’s put it against this wall.” They limped over and awkwardly dropped it to the ground. Roxanne wiped her hands on her jeans and surveyed what would eventually become the…living room? It was hard to tell with the floor all torn to shit and the walls exposed. She shook her head. “I thought the house would be further along than this.” A lot further.

“He’s been working on it pretty much every day since you guys had that falling-out, but there’s still a lot left to do. Obviously.”

She’d been operating under the assumption that she’d sneak into his nearly finished house, get her dresser situated in his room, and then sit at the dining room table and do a crossword until he showed up. Or something. She turned another circle, her feet making patterns in the sawdust.

Elle glanced at the dresser. “I still don’t get why we couldn’t have asked Gabe for help. I broke a nail, and I’m pretty sure my big toe will never be the same.”

“I told you. If Gabe knows, then there’s a decent chance he’ll tell Nathan, and Nathan and Ian are best friends, so what’s to keep him from spilling the beans?”

“I really don’t think they talk as much as you think.” Elle frowned. “You’re kind of acting like a basket case. Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes?” Truth was, she could barely keep her head on straight right now. She ran her hand over the top of the dresser. It looked ridiculous sitting here in this unfinished house. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.” It wouldn’t be the first time she made an idiot mistake when it came to Ian.

“No way am I helping you carry this thing out of here if you change your mind. Besides, this…whatever it is you’re trying to do…is cute.”

“I’m apologizing.” She opened the top drawer. It was filled with a handful of shirts, panties, and a pair of pants. Everything a girl would need at her boyfriend’s house. It might be stupid, but it was a symbol she thought Ian would understand.

“This is so adorable.” Elle bounced on her toes and then winced. “God, that hurt.”

“I promise I’ll make all this up to you, too. Right after I fix things with your brother.” When she’d called Elle to come in with the assist, her best friend had jumped at the chance to be part of her plan. Standing here, in the middle of his half-finished house, she wasn’t sure it was the best plan she’d ever had. But she’d see this through, because it was the
only
plan she had.

It had to work.

“So he’ll come here and—”

“I hope so.” Roxanne shoved her hair out of her eyes. “I’m heading to pick up the rest of it as soon as we leave here.”

“Cool. From what he said, he usually gets here around seven, so you shouldn’t have long to wait. You have to let me know how it goes.”

Her friend’s enthusiasm was infectious. She grinned. “You’ll be the first one I call. Promise.” She just hoped it was a call with good news, and not that Ian had told her where to shove it.

…

Ian had spent all morning searching for the perfect piece. It had taken five stops, but he finally found the right one. He just hoped Roxanne would love it.

He fished his ringing phone out of his pocket. “Hey.”

“Hey! How did it go? I haven’t heard anything, and I can’t get a hold of Roxanne. I was starting to get worried.”

He frowned. “What are you talking about?”

A long pause. “Where are you right now?”

“Downtown. I was just about to pick up lunch. Why?”

“What the heck? Why aren’t you at your house? You know what? Never mind. It doesn’t matter. It’s been
hours
.”

If this were anyone other than his baby sister, he’d accuse her of being on drugs. As it was, the search had worn his patience to the breaking level. “Spit it out. What’s going on?”

“You need to go to your house. Actually, no. You need to go to Pine River Park. Like now.”

“Pine River Park? Why?” Wait, that was where he’d taken Roxanne after they went out for sushi. What did that have to do with anything? Hope dawned, but he was afraid to let it take hold. “What’s this about?”

“You were supposed to have been there by now. Just go. Then call me later and tell me all about it.” Elle hung up, leaving more questions than answers.

Apparently he was going to the park. Shaking his head, he got into his truck and headed north. Even speeding, it took him twenty minutes. As he pulled into the parking lot, the dark skies that had been threatening all day opened up. Rain poured down, making him wish for an umbrella. There were only a few cars there, but he recognized one as Roxanne’s Camry.

Cursing under his breath, he hurried over the bridge. Ian stopped short at the bottom of the stairs on the other side when he caught sight of her. She had her chin on her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs, looking like she didn’t have a single friend in the world. He wanted to sweep her into his arms and beg for her forgiveness.

Since she was facing the river, she didn’t see him until he dropped onto the table next to her. Both of them were soaked through, and still the rain came down. He glanced at the open tub of ice cream next to her. What little was left was completely melted. Fuck. How long had she been here? “Hey.”

“I didn’t think you were coming.” Roxanne still didn’t look at him. “I figured you saw the note and decided you really didn’t want to be with me.”

“What note?”

She turned toward him, a frown on her face. “The note I left in the dresser.” When he just shook his head, she frowned harder. “If you haven’t been home, how did you know to come here?”

“My sister called me.” Thank God. He put his hand over Roxanne’s where it rested on the table. “What did the note say?”

“You really haven’t been to your house yet?”

“I really haven’t.”

She took a deep breath. “It said that I’m sorry. Instead of recognizing that you were in a rough place after your family dinner, I just reacted and freaked out at you. And that’s not fair. I…I love you. I want a future with you—the full nine yards. I know I haven’t made things easy for you with this relationship, but I want to make it work. If you’ll have me.” She waved a hand. “But it was a whole lot more eloquent.”

Ian pulled her into his lap, so damn glad to be able to wrap his arms around her again. “I love you, too. I never should have said any of those things that night. I might be fucked up, but I’m getting better.
You
are helping me get better.”

“You sister said you turned down that job.” She toyed with the edge of his shirt. “Was that because of me?”

“Yes and no. I wouldn’t have been happy traveling that much, and the thought of being away from you isn’t at all appealing.” He hugged her tighter. “I mean it. I am so, so goddamn sorry I walked away from you. I’ll never do it again.”

“Never is a long time, Charming.”

Not long enough. “I mean it, Roxanne.” He kissed her, right there in the rain with the tub of melted ice cream beside them. “I love you.” And he would tell her that every damn day for the rest of their lives.

“I love you, too.” She framed his face with her hands. “Seriously, it was a really great note. I spent a lot of time on it. I can’t believe you didn’t read it.”

Ian laughed. “I believe you. If you want, we can go read it right now.”

“Sorry about the ice cream, too.” She nudged it. “I got a little depressed when I thought you weren’t coming and broke into it.”

“I’ll buy a new carton, and we can break into it together.”

“I like that plan a whole lot better.” She smiled. “I don’t suppose you have a working shower?”

“That, at least, I do have.” He’d spent the last few days putting the necessities into the bathroom. “I also have a few extra changes of clothes in my truck if you want to head back there and get into something dry.”

Roxanne glanced away. “That, ah, won’t be an issue.”

He saw what she meant when they walked through the front door fifteen minutes later. The very same dresser he’d admired at her apartment now stood against the wall in his living room. It was so finished and out-of-place, it took him a long moment to find his words. “Your dresser is in my house.”

“Yeah… About that…”

He opened the empty drawers, and with each one his confusion increased—right up to the point where he got to the one with her things in it. One drawer—the one without the knob, ironically enough. It wasn’t moving in, but it was a declaration of moving forward. The note lay on top of her clothes, but Ian didn’t read it. No matter what she said, hearing those words from her mouth hit him so much harder than any written note could.

He turned back to her. “You know, this is kind of funny.”

“Funny?”

“Yeah.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the knob he’d spent all morning searching for. It was because of that search that things hadn’t played out how she’d planned, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Ian held it out. “I got you something. It’s kind of fitting, considering everything.”

Roxanne pressed her hands to her mouth as he screwed the knob into the empty spot. “It’s finally a full set.”

“I thought this one might be a perfect fit.” He pulled her into his arms. “Kind of like us.”

“You’re so cheesy.” She kissed him. “I like it.”

“Best get used to it. I’m not going anywhere. I’m in for the long run, and I want forever and always with you.”