Chasing Mrs. Right (11 page)

Chapter Seventeen

After realizing how much pressure they must have been putting on him, Roxanne wanted to drive out to Ian’s parents’ house and slap some sense into them, which was not a rational response. No, it was yet another brick in that damning wall of evidence of her feelings for the man.

She was tipping over the edge of just liking Ian into something far more devastating, and she couldn’t do anything about it. Her past lay there behind her, barren and lonely, broken only by surface interactions here and there, all because she was so terrified of falling in love. Ian had been back in town under two weeks, and she was already neck-deep and sinking fast. She
cared
. She wanted him to be happy, wanted to wipe those shadows from his eyes. Hell, she just plain
wanted
.

She sighed. “Ice cream?”

“You know, the stuff that’s cold and sweet and melts on your tongue? Don’t tell me you’re one of those insane people who don’t like ice cream.”

In all reality, she loved ice cream—and had a stash of four different kinds in her freezer right now—but Roxanne couldn’t help playing devil’s advocate. “Just because you like ice cream doesn’t mean everyone should.”

Ian shot her a horrified look. “It’s un-American to hate ice cream.”

“Ice cream isn’t American. It came across the Atlantic, just like everything else fantastic.”

“I can list half a dozen awesome things that originated here.” He shook his head, but a smile crept across his lips. “Back to the point, how do you
really
feel about ice cream?”

Was he going to suggest she dump it on her naked body and have him lick it off? Because she could get into that idea. Hell, she could get into any idea that involved being naked with Ian’s mouth on her.
Yum
.

From the look on his face, he knew exactly which turn her thoughts had taken. “Well?”

What was the question? Oh, right. Ice cream. She smiled. “I happen to have a deep and abiding love for ice cream.”

“Thank God. I was about to call the whole thing off. Some things I refuse to compromise on.”

The fact that they were sitting here, mock-arguing about their relationship, and she was only feeling the slightest flutter of panic amazed her. “Guess I just dodged a bullet then, huh?”

“Most definitely.” He put a stack of bills in the tab book and set it on the table. “You ready to go?”

“If there’s ice cream involved, then yes.” She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. God, touching him felt good, even if it was innocent contact.

“I hoped you’d say that.”

Roxanne found herself holding her breath as they walked through the parking garage to his truck. It was hard to look at the shiny red hood without seeing the image he’d described earlier—her bent over it with her dress up around her hips while he made her scream his name. She wanted that. She wanted that a
lot
. But she also wanted the rest of it, too—the conversations and joking and innocent touches.

Which should’ve terrified her.

And yet…it didn’t.

Better not to spend too much time thinking on that. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

He laughed as he opened the door and then stepped into the gap when she slid into the seat. “Patience, grasshopper. I promise it’ll be worth the wait.”

“I know.” And she did. She leaned over and kissed him, liking the fact that his jacked-up truck put them at exactly the same height. She pulled back before they could get carried away—there was a bowl of ice cream with her name on it waiting for her, after all. “You should know by now that I have an intense weakness for good food.”

“I’ve noticed.” He ran his hands up her thighs, stopping just short of the hem of her dress. “It’s one of the many things I like about you.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” As would food. And charm. And… Yeah, best not to go too far down that rabbit hole or she’d start worrying that she was easy. Hell, even if she was, who cared? It wasn’t like she’d left a trail of broken lovers behind her. It was more the other way around.

By the time she reeled her thoughts back in, Ian was in the truck, and they were on their way to get ice cream. He stretched his arm over the back of the seat and around her shoulders. “Thank you for giving this a go.”

Roxanne attempted a smile. “You’re feeding me and throwing in some hot sex to sweeten the pot. I never stood a chance.” The words didn’t come out as light and funny as she’d meant, probably because they weren’t the full truth. Ian brought so much more to the table, more than she could have ever dreamed.

But then he ran his fingers through her hair and her heart did a funny little jump that scared the shit out of her. Roxanne had never felt so fragile in her entire life. Not now that he had her cuddled up against him as if she actually mattered—which was exactly what he kept claiming.

She was starting to actually believe him.

After they got ice cream, he drove north to a small park tucked down next to the Little Spokane River. She had been there a few times when she was a kid, but everything seemed different in the dark. The trees towered over the river and sprawling lawn, creating an atmosphere she might have found terrifying if Ian hadn’t been by her side.

She let him lead her down the path and over the bridge to where the picnic tables were situated. Feeling off-center from the romantic turn the night had taken, she resorted to humor. “You aren’t planning on bashing me over the head and throwing my body into the river, are you?”

He snorted. “And waste perfectly good ice cream? I don’t think so.”

They sat on the table closest to the water. As she ate her double chocolate brownie Blizzard, she let the sound of the river running over the rocks push everything else away. In this moment, there was only this night and the man beside her. If there’d ever been anything more perfect, she hadn’t experienced it. “This is nice.”

“It really is.” He squeezed her knee. “This could be our place.”

Our
place. After taking a deep breath, she dredged up a shaky smile. “Sure.”

Ian laughed and kissed her temple. “Sorry. No pressure.”

Her next breath came a little bit easier. “Right. No pressure.” She finished the last of her ice cream in silence. Maybe it was time to stop overthinking everything. Just because her mother had been right one hundred percent of the time up to this point didn’t mean she was right
this
time. Ian made her feel safe and needed, something she’d never experienced before. How could that ever be a bad thing?

“Are you ready?”

Ready? She realized she’d been staring into the shadows of her empty cup for God knew how long. If that wasn’t a declaration of being well-adjusted, she didn’t know what was. She tossed her garbage into the can next to the end of the table. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

He held her hand as they drove to her place. A slow country song that wasn’t her cup of tea twanged over the radio but, strangely enough, it seemed to fit the moment.

After they pulled into her driveway, he shut off the truck, and they sat there, listening to the engine tick as it cooled off. Apparently, he was waiting for some sort of signal from her. He was nothing if not considerate. If she gave him a kiss on the cheek and left him at her front door, he’d be as okay with that as he’d be if she invited him in. What a novel concept.

While part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind and get naked with him again, after the conversation they’d had at dinner and the growing connection at the park, it felt wrong to sully it with her avoidance issues.

But she didn’t want him to leave.

Roxanne raised her head and took a deep breath, trying to steel herself enough to ask, “Will you stay tonight?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes.” She bit her lip, not quite able to look him in the eyes. This felt different than before, far more intimate. It was one thing to throw caution to the wind and sleep with him. It was something else altogether to seek out
this
. “I… Would you just hold me tonight?”

He smiled. “I’m good with that.”

“Okay.” God, this shouldn’t be such a big deal. But it
was
a big deal. It felt like a step in the right direction, which was more than she’d ever allowed herself before.

Ian got out of the truck and walked around to open her door. The ride up the elevator to her floor was silent, though he didn’t once let go of her hand. She unlocked her door and led the way inside, wondering what he would think of her loft. Though she’d moved here six months ago, she didn’t make a habit of entertaining—Elle’s house was way better suited to that kind of stuff—so the living area only held a couch and a love seat, with lamps situated for reading. Her bed was partially hidden behind a privacy screen with cherry blossoms painted on it. She’d specifically mounted the television on a portion of the wall that could be seen by both the bed and the couch, which opened up the question… Where should they sit?

She was overthinking again. Roxanne kicked off her shoes and glanced at him. “Do you want a drink or something?”

“Nah, I’m good.” Ian ran a hand over her tiny dining room table. It was a custom piece, made out of wrought iron with comfy cushions on the seats. She’d had it shipped in from Portland last year after she’d stumbled across the shop during one of her research trips for a bride. “I like the chairs.”

“Thank you.”

He moved around the room, pausing when he reached her dresser. It was a huge piece of furniture, its wood darkened with age. “This is missing a knob.”

She moved to stand next to him. “It has been ever since I picked up it from the antique shop.”

“I like it.” He ran his hand over the drawer. “It’s quirky.”

“I keep meaning to buy a replacement, but I just haven’t found the right piece yet.” The words resonated inside her, extending beyond the subject of the dresser.

Ian gave her a long look that made it clear he’d caught the double meaning, too.

God, this wasn’t awkward at all. “I’m going to change.” She grabbed a pair of yoga pants and tank top from one of the drawers
not
missing its knob and headed into the bathroom—no reason to taunt him with changing in the same room. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

When she came back, she found Ian lounging on her bed, shirtless. He’d turned on the television and had his arms propped behind his head. He couldn’t have looked more seductive if he’d tried, though if his intent study of whatever show he’d turned on was any indication, he had no idea he’d affected her so strongly.

He’d also taken away her options. Roxanne sidled closer to the bed, all too aware of how ridiculous she was being. This was
Ian
, the same man she’d had sex with more than a few times. He’d seen her naked and out of her mind with pleasure. It wasn’t like he’d judge her for what she was wearing now.

“You going to sit down or stand there and stare at me a while longer?” He spoke without looking away from the television.

“No, no. I’m going to sit down.” Because she hadn’t just been standing there, staring like some sort of creeper. She climbed onto the bed and crawled over to him, wishing all the while that she’d worn a bra. But they were supposed to be curling up and sleeping, and she never wore a bra to bed, so she hadn’t thought twice about taking it off when she changed.

“Come here.” Ian pulled her closer and tucked her against his chest. He leaned his cheek against the top of her head. “There. This is nice, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” She smiled against his chest. Look what she could accomplish if she got out of her own way. Though they had most of their clothes in place and were only cuddling while watching television—pretty much the most mundane activity she could think of—she was enjoying herself. All without doing anything to sabotage it. She snuggled closer to Ian, inhaling the fresh scent of him. It quieted her inner voices like little else could. It wasn’t an excuse for passing out sprawled over his chest, but Roxanne couldn’t exactly help herself.

She was head over heels for this man.

Chapter Eighteen

Ian liked waking up next to Roxanne. He liked it a lot, and not just because it meant another eight hours of nightmare-free sleep. When he moved to keep his arm from falling asleep, she made a small noise and opened her eyes. Would he ever get used to their vibrant green color? He sure as hell hoped not. “Hey there.”

Roxanne gave a small smile. “Hi.” Then she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Crap. I have to get moving.”

“Me, too.” Ian brushed back her hair. “What are you doing tomorrow?” Since it’d be Friday, he was reasonably sure she’d be free.

“I think I could free up my schedule for you.”

“I appreciate you making the effort.” And now for the clincher. He cleared his throat, cursing himself for saving this for the morning when he’d much rather be wrapped up in her warm, soft body. “My family has browbeaten me into going out to eat with them. I’d like you to come with.”

She made a face, but he didn’t miss the flicker of fear in her eyes. “That sounds serious.”

In a way, it was. His mother hadn’t exactly left any wiggle room when she’d extended the invitation to the woman he was seeing, but he wanted Roxanne at that dinner for a number of reasons. “My mom is insisting on having dinner at this huge restaurant. I’d really like you to be there.” He didn’t know how he’d get through it without her around to anchor him, but damn it if he couldn’t bring himself to say the words aloud.

She knew, of course. Even though it obviously scared the crap out of her, she squeezed his arm. “If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

Relief coursed through him, and he kissed her. “I want you. There and otherwise.”

“You’re such a charmer.” Roxanne stretched. “I really need to shower, and as great as it’d be to share my water supply, I think that would expand the shower time exponentially.”

Since just hearing the word “shower” slammed Ian with images of her naked, water dripping along all the right places, he couldn’t disagree. “You’re probably right.”

She started to sit up and stopped to lay her hand against his cheek. “Thank you. For getting it, for staying last night, for everything.”

“Always.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss against her palm. “Now go get ready. I’ll show myself out and text you in a little bit.”

“Text, huh? Are you finally going to introduce me to this mysterious
her
you mentioned? Because I’m beside myself with anticipation.”

“Smart-ass.”

“You know it.” She slid off the bed and paused to give him a sultry look before she disappeared into the bathroom.

“Tease.”

“That, too.” Roxanne shut the door. He thought about saying to hell with it and joining her anyway, but he was supposed to be supportive, and that meant not making her late for work.

Being supportive sucked.

With a groan, he climbed out of bed and grabbed his shirt. Though he’d wanted nothing more than to strip her naked and do wonderful, filthy things to her last night, Ian had managed to keep his control. As a result, he was in a state of what could only be called “seriously uncomfortable” at the moment.

Yeah, being supportive definitely sucked.

It was worth it, though. The only way this thing with Roxanne would work was if she trusted him and if their relationship moved beyond sex. Last night had been a pretty good start, though he’d be an idiot if he thought the battle was won.

He checked to make sure he had his keys and wallet and stopped in the kitchen. She had one of those cutsie little notepads attached to her fridge, complete with pink pen. Grinning, he grabbed the pen and wrote out a quick note. It was only fair, considering she’d done the same thing to him the first time they’d spent the night together. Ian headed for the elevator, feeling remarkably light on his feet for someone who’d run the emotional gamut in the span of twelve hours.

He most definitely could get used to this.

…

By the time five o’clock on Friday rolled around, Roxanne wasn’t sure she could survive going through with dinner.

It wasn’t so bad during the day with work to keep her occupied. Teenagers did a number on her stress level. If she needed more motivation to keep up on her birth control, she’d gotten it today with that little diva. Strippers at a sweet-sixteen party? Roxanne had always thought herself pretty outrageous, but that passed even her limits. It had been everything she could do not to call up the girl’s parents and cancel the whole damn thing. If their daughter thought mostly naked men were legitimate entertainment for her age group, then her parents had dropped the ball somewhere along the line.

Apparently, having a stable home life with parents who were still married still wasn’t enough to keep from screwing up your kids.

Against her better judgment, her mind presented her with a mental image of two children. The boy had a riot of dark curls nearly as dark as his eyes, while the girl had beautiful blond hair and green eyes.

She slammed her mental shutters closed and dug her keys out of her purse. No matter what she’d decided about Ian, she had no business daydreaming about sharing children with him. They were already balanced on a precarious enough ledge without throwing
that
kind of complication into the mix.

As soon as she walked through her front door, her doubts tried to take hold again. A family dinner? That was a serious step, even if she
was
falling for Ian. His little sister might be her best friend, but she was pretty sure his mom hated her guts. No matter what she did, she would never be good enough for Elizabeth Walser’s golden boy.

Maybe she should beg off?

Her phone rang, making her nearly jump out of her skin. “Roxanne Stokes.”

“You didn’t check the caller ID, did you?”

She tried to put some smile into her voice, even though her best friend was the very last person she wanted to talk to right now. “Hey, Elle.”

“You want to know how I know that? You’ve been avoiding my calls for a week now.”

Because she didn’t know if she could deal with the inevitable conversation Elle wanted to have. It didn’t look like she’d have a choice now. “I’ve been busy.”

“Right. With my brother. Speaking of, what
are
you doing with my brother?”

Trying not to fall any harder for him than I already have
. It was too late. It’d been too late the night before last, when he’d taken her for ice cream and held her as she fell asleep. Even though Elle couldn’t see her, Roxanne made an effort to keep her shoulders back and not slouch like a dog with its tail between its legs. “Dating him.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t date. You flit from guy to guy. I don’t think you’ve gone on more than three dates with a single person in all the years I’ve known you.”

Because it was a whole lot easier to avoid love if she didn’t stick around for an extended period of time. “Ian’s different.”

“I know he’s different. He’s worth something—again, no offense. My brother hasn’t had the easiest run of it, and the last thing he needs is for you to trample over his heart because you don’t do commitment.”

She tried not to be insulted—Elle was just speaking the truth. “It’s not like that.”

“Then tell me what it is like! Lord, Roxanne, I asked you to talk to him—not date him. And then you disappear off the face of the earth and next thing I know, my brother’s calling asking for permission to date you. Do you have any idea how bizarre this whole thing is?”

“I care about him.” The words exploded from her, out before she had a chance to take them back. But now that the floodgates were open, there was no retreating. “He makes me feel things I’ve never experienced before—want things I’d thought I’d never get a chance to have. Everything’s changed.” Everything and nothing.

A long pause. “I see.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, but if you hurt him, I might never forgive you.”

She wanted to say she would never hurt Ian—that she’d walk over burning coals before she added to the demons he already carried on his shoulders—but she couldn’t force the words out. Not when she knew they might be a lie. Up until this conversation, all she’d seen was the potential for
him
to hurt
her
. Now she had yet another thing to obsess over.

Roxanne took a shaky breath. “I’m scared, Elle. Really, really scared. I don’t know if I can get in deeper and then have him walk away. I don’t know if I’ll survive it.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Elle sighed. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Roxanne’s eyes, traitors that they were, burned. “Sure.”

“Sometimes there really is a happily ever after without any strings attached. You just have to be brave enough to face it.”

“But what if we try and it doesn’t work?”

“What if it
does
?”

And that was the million-dollar question. She cleared her throat. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You won’t know until you try.”

A single tear slipped free, but some of her overwhelming fear disappeared, as if it’d been compressed into that tiny drop of salt water. “When did you starting giving such awesome relationship advice?”

Elle laughed. “I had a really awesome best friend who kicked my butt when I needed it. I’m just returning the favor.”

“You’re the best.”

“I have my moments. Now go get ready. I hear we’re having dinner tonight, and you don’t want to be late.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She hung up and kicked off her shoes, coaching herself to keep breathing. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it right, and for Roxanne, that started with her appearance. She had two hours until Ian showed up, and she was going to need every second of it to get ready. It was double the amount of time she normally used, but Roxanne liked dressing up under even the worst of circumstances, and this was hardly that. She couldn’t help but smile as she climbed into the shower. What if things
did
work out? She wasn’t sure she could live with herself if she didn’t give this thing with him her best shot.

She hummed under her breath as she soaped up. While it was entirely possible this would blow up in her face, that outcome felt less likely as time went on. As Elle so helpfully pointed out, Ian wasn’t like any of the guys she’d dated up to this point. He wasn’t the type to confess undying devotion and then take off without saying another word. Not that he’d done that yet, but if he did.

As she got ready, she thought about their last date. He’d put forth so much effort to make it the perfect night, and he’d succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. She never would have guessed she’d be grinning like an idiot over ice cream in a park and cuddling through the night, or that the smile wouldn’t leave her face even after he left her apartment that morning.

When the buzzer rang, she grabbed her purse and hurried downstairs. Ian stood on the top step, his hands in his pockets. With the button-up shirt, sports jacket, and slacks, he looked like a contract killer trying to play dress-up. No matter what you dressed the man in, he gave off this aura of danger.

It made her want to lick his abs.

Okay, fine, it wasn’t like she needed a reason to want that.

And now she was staring. “Hi.”

“You look edible, as always. I like you in green.”

Hell, she liked that he liked her in green. Tonight she’d chosen a flowing number that hit just past her knees, but the material was so light it practically floated around her legs. Damn it, she had to break the moment or they’d stand here all night, ogling each other. “Edible, huh? How Hannibal Lecter of you.”

He grinned, his delighted expression nearly making her swoon. Freaking
swoon
. “I like to switch things up. Wait until I show you my sex dungeon.”

“You live in a loft above an art gallery—one that belongs to your best friend, I might add.”

“Just wait until you see what I’ve done with my new house.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“There you go, making promises again.” She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm as they walked down to his truck. God, she could learn to love that beast, especially with its bench seats. Too bad there was no time to take advantage of them right now. She let Ian slide her over to the middle as he turned the engine over. “You, honey, are going country.”

“Woman, I’ve always
been
country. I’m just refinding my roots.” He grinned. “Though we can go cow-tipping later if you’re feeling squirrelly.”

“In these shoes? I think not.”

“Another time, then.”

As they drove, she relaxed into him, letting his clean scent wrap around her and tease some of the tension from her shoulders. Damn, he smelled good enough that he should market it as stress relief for horny women. If he included a battery pack with the bottle, it was an instant buy. Roxanne laughed softly.

“What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking that I’d like to bottle your scent and sell it with packs of batteries.”

He snorted. “I think you overestimate my appeal to the female population.”

She twisted to get a better look at his face. Chiseled jaw, decadent mouth, and soul-wrenching eyes—not to mention the body that she still couldn’t quite believe was real. It was a wonder he managed to walk down the street without women throwing their panties at him. “I think you
under
estimate your appeal.”

“Well, there’s only one woman I’m concerned with at this point.”

Her
. The thrill that went through her knowing that struck a chord in her very soul. Roxanne didn’t care what her mother would say. In this moment, there wasn’t another place she’d rather be than tucked up against Ian’s side. “Lucky woman.”

“I hope she thinks so.” He stared out the windshield. “Rox, I don’t know if I can get through this dinner. There’s going to be way more people there than I’ve had to deal with since my first night back, and we both know how well that went.”

“We’ll get through it together.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The little smile he gave was so vulnerable, so uncertain, Roxanne knew she was a goner. This was the time to say something, to really put herself out there. She could choose to be ruled by fear for the rest of her life, or she could take this leap of faith. It sure as hell felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to throw herself off with the hope that she really could fly.