Chasing Paradise (3 page)

“I know.” The soft words drew him back to reality and he wrangled in his wayward thoughts. There was here and now. Nothing else. The past didn’t matter. And right now, the need to taste her overwhelmed everything else.

Closing the door behind them, Ethan drew Gwen into his arms. Pulling her up his body, he gripped her hips, his hands splaying over the cheeks of her ass. Her hands rested on his chest.

Ethan’s eyes drifted upward, focusing on the hair piled at the top of her head. The damn bun had hidden her beauty from him at first. It needed to go.

Reaching up, he unwound her hair from its confines, letting it spill down her back. Her hair was glorious, long and thick. It fell to the small of her back, tickling his hand where it rested on her butt. He ran his free hand through the silky locks.

“Why do you hide all this beautiful hair?” Ethan tilted her face toward his, then, not waiting for an answer, claimed her lips.

“Ethan.” The word escaped in a breathy plea. Hearing his name whispered with such need drove his desire higher. He wrapped the thick strands of hair in his hand and took advantage of her open mouth. Thrusting his tongue between her lips, he explored the recesses of her mouth. When her tongue joined the play, he groaned, pulling back only to allow her teeth to lightly nip at his lower lip. Who knew the woman could kiss so well? Returning the favor, Ethan sucked at her top lip before diving back in.

Her hands fisting in his shirt as she tried to pull him closer, arching her chest toward him. Ethan pulled her hips tighter, his erection straining against his zipper. He had to get inside her soon, but not before he tasted every inch of her delectable flesh.

They were both gasping as Ethan pulled away. Pushing Gwen so she leaned against the door, Ethan slowly unbuttoned her shirt, kissing a trail down her torso with each luscious inch he revealed. Satin smooth skin quivered under his tongue wherever he kissed.

“Ethan, wait.” Gwen’s tentative hands stopped him as he reached her belly button. But he couldn’t resist dipping his tongue inside before stopping. There was hesitation in the eyes looking down at him.

“What’s wrong, pet?”

“The lights are on.”

Uh oh, please don’t let her get prudish on me now.
He stared at her, trying to see past her anxious face into her soul. Her teeth worried at her bottom lip, but her eyes looked over his form appreciatively. It certainly didn’t appear to be a moral issue. So what was the problem? Reaching up, Ethan ran his thumb over the lip she tortured. He had plans for those lips.

“You’re beautiful, Gwen. I want to see you.”

“It’s just…I have a few more curves than your average woman. I--” Gwen stopped and took a deep breath, forcing her chest closer to his face. “I saw the woman you were with earlier. I don’t look like her.” The tentative whisper told him where the problem lay. Her self-consciousness showed in every tense line of her body.

But there was no need. His hands ached to run up and down her curvy figure. He couldn’t even remember why he’d once found Jacqueline attractive. All his thoughts focused on Gwen.

Needing to reassure her, he caressed her stomach as he whispered, “Your curves fit perfectly in a man’s hands. Never doubt that, Gwen.” The answering smile lit up her entire face. Seeing the joy his words had brought, he realized there wasn’t anywhere in the world he would rather be, and no one he’d rather be with.

Releasing the last button of her shirt, Ethan moved on to her skirt, slipping it off her hips to reveal black lace panties. He chuckled against her belly at the discovery. “Who would’ve thought these hid under your straight-laced suit.”

His tongue darted out, tracing her lightly tanned skin above the line of her underwear. A slightly salty taste infused her skin from her swim in the ocean. The new flavor drove his wolf wild.

“So good. I have to taste more,” Ethan whispered against her stomach. The little shudders darting down her body, causing her to quiver in his arms, delighted him.

Without wasting another moment, Ethan finished undressing her and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder, exposing her completely to his gaze.

“You are so gorgeous.” Ethan placed small kisses along her bare inner thigh before closing his mouth over Gwen’s clit and sucking deeply.

* * * *

Oh, God. This was better than anything she’d ever experienced before. Gwen’s head fell back against the door with a thud but she barely felt it. All her thoughts were focused on the incredible things the man was doing with his tongue. Her hands fisted in Ethan’s hair as he teased her, kissing and sucking until she couldn’t stand anymore. As her leg gave out, Ethan caught her and lowered her to the floor. The movement was her only reprieve before his mouth returned to its teasing ministrations.

Gwen writhed, her breath coming in desperate pants. His thumbs pushed into her as his mouth continued to tease her clit. The man was good. No. The man was amazing. She cried out as Ethan pulled away, blowing cold air over her tender flesh.

“Please, Ethan. I need…” Gwen sobbed, unable to finish. Sex had always been pleasant. But not like this. Nothing like this. Her hips rose as Ethan found the perfect spot to nibble. She felt connected to him in a way she’d never experienced before. It was almost as if she could feel his pleasure which in turn heightened her own. She squirmed, her body tight as a bowstring. His teasing kisses against the inside of her thighs only pushed her higher.

“But I’m having so much fun. Your taste is addictive.” His tongue trailed down and replaced his fingers, plunging inside her.

Gwen groaned. If he didn’t let her come soon, she would cry, beg, scream.

“Please, Ethan. Next time go slow. I need you, now.” Her patience was at an end. Her inner animal demanded he fill her completely, her need for him almost desperate. She needed to feel his weight covering her, blanketing her in his strength. To be reassured by his body that he was real, that she had finally found her mate. That she would no longer be alone. Because she knew only a mate could know her body so well.

Ethan’s lips blazed a trail back up her body, claiming her mouth in a bruising kiss. The taste of her flavored his tongue making her moan against his mouth. His hands played with her nipples as his tongue plundered deeper.

“Are you ready for me, pet?” The teasing humor in his voice urged her to scream at him and beat her hands against his chest. He knew she was, damn him. Instead she groaned against his throat, no longer able to form words.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” His hands trailed down and held her hips steady as he worked himself inside her. He was so big! For a moment, Gwen feared he wouldn’t fit. She shifted in discomfort as he pressed insistently forward.

Eyes closed, Ethan rested his forehead against hers. Gwen felt the moisture where they were connected and knew she was well prepared. It was a tight fit, but a fit nonetheless. He was holding back. She could see it in the lines of his face and the way his body vibrated with barely checked desire. This wasn’t what she wanted. As much as she admired his consideration of her, she wanted this to be as mind-blowing for him as it was for her. This was the start of the rest of their lives. There could be no doubt.

Gwen clutched his shoulders to urge him on. He opened his eyes, assessing her before pressing forward until he was buried to the hilt. A low growl rattled his chest.

She burned where they were connected, and she couldn’t seem to get any air into her lungs. She squirmed under him, struggling to draw a breath but her lungs wouldn’t obey the command. Ethan filled her too completely.

He must have sensed her discomfort because without moving his hips, his hand slid down her body, his thumb circling her clit. She drew in an involuntary breath as a wave of pleasure crashed into her.

With her distress gone, Gwen wrapped her legs around his waist. Ethan pressed deeper with the new position, drawing another gasp from her. This time one of pure pleasure. He reached all the right places inside her with each slow glide, filling her deliciously.

Pleasure radiated through her body until Gwen bucked, driven on by mindless need. She begged him, but for what exactly she didn’t know. He thrust into her with increasing fervor. His fingers continued to tease, her toes curling as the sensations bubbling inside approached the peak of ecstasy.

Just as she was about to round the bend and tumble over, he stopped. Gwen sobbed as her pleasure settled. Her climax retreated. Over and over he teased her, bringing her to the edge before pulling back. He wouldn’t let her pass the brink of pleasure.

Whimpering against his neck, Gwen begged for release. Time and place ceased to matter. All that mattered was Ethan and the delicious ache he kept building upon. The more he pressed, the more frantic she became. How much more could she take? She clung to his sweaty shoulders, moving in time with each thrust. At last, he pushed her right over the edge.

Screaming his name as she came around him, Gwen felt him empty inside her as he grunted his release against her neck. His warm breath caressed her ear as they both struggled to catch their breath.

“Wow.”

Gwen wasn’t sure which of them uttered the breathless exclamation. She felt his hands gently caressing her hips and upper thighs. His lips nuzzled the sensitive skin behind her ear. Never before had she felt so…cherished. Loved.

“You’re incredible.” The soft whisper caressed her skin. “Absolutely incredible.”

Gwen smiled at the words and ran her hands slowly up and down his cooling back. A small coo of utter contentment escaped from between her lips. His hand reached up and caressed her cheek.

“You sound like a little bird.” He chuckled.

“Sorry. It’s just something otters do when happy.” She tried not to do it around non-otters. Other men had teased her about it in the past.

“Don’t be sorry. I like it.” He kissed her ear and another small coo escaped.

A shaft of sunlight invaded the room from the windows, waking Ethan. Giving his mind a minute to process, Ethan took stock of his situation. He was curled around a soft, warm body. As the memories of the night before assailed him, he wrapped a possessive arm around Gwen’s waist and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her intoxicating scent with each breath. Every impulse urged him to cuddle her closer, to wake her with kisses and strokes.

Ethan couldn’t believe how responsive the woman had been. Who would’ve guessed it from the uptight businesswoman she presented to the world? Her body had taken him in, embracing him as none other, and her scent had overwhelmed his senses. The mindless pursuit to give her an experience she’d never forget had driven him forward.

He liked to think he succeeded. Three times. It was certainly a night
he
wouldn’t soon forget.

After they had gotten enough energy to get up from the floor, they’d moved to the shower, where he had taken Gwen against the wall as water pounded against his back. They were both ready to go again by the time they finally made it to bed. It was hard to believe how many times he had taken her, or how perfectly she had responded. As if she was made for him.

Every sound she made, every move, pushed him higher until, in the end, he experienced a pleasure greater than ever before. Almost as if he’d found where he belonged.

Shaking his head, Ethan slowly disentangled himself and eased out of bed. Those feelings were dangerous. Gwen had been a perfect bed partner, but sex was all this would ever be. He wasn’t looking for anything more.

If he were…
He stopped himself before completing the thought. Best not to go there. The whole point of this vacation was to have fun and to get away from clingy females, not to start a relationship.

His chest tightened as he slowly pulled on his clothes and crept from the room.

Without giving himself a moment to second-guess his decision, Ethan gently closed the door behind him, hearing the lock click into place. No turning back now. Although he was tempted to pound on the door and beg for forgiveness. Instead, Ethan turned from the door and walked away from the woman consuming his thoughts. He was moving on.

* * * *

The
snick
of a door closing pulled Gwen out of sound sleep. Pushing her long hair out of her face, she blearily looked around the room.

“Ethan?” She hated the tentative tone of her voice. Ethan had more than convinced her how sexy he found her last night. Clutching the sheet higher, Gwen sat up and looked around. His clothes were gone from the floor and the bathroom door stood open, the dark alcove mocking her with its emptiness.

Glancing at the clock, Gwen was startled to see it was almost ten in the morning. She never slept this late. Then again, she didn’t usually stay up as late as she had with Ethan, either.

The late hour encouraged her. He’d probably gone downstairs to get something to eat. Wolves weren’t the most patient shifters, especially when it came to food.

Chuckling to herself, Gwen quickly flung the covers aside and jumped out of bed. If she hurried, she might be able to catch him in the hotel restaurant and share a meal. Another giggle escaped as she pulled on some clothes. She was so damn happy.

How lucky was she? Just as she despaired, wondering if she’d ever find her mate, he strolled right on through the doors of her resort and straight into her arms. He hadn’t been able to resist her any more than she had been able to resist him.

Her otter cooed in contentment within her chest as her future with Ethan played out in her mind. There would be children and love and affection. Everything she’d ever dreamed of.

Eager to join her new mate, Gwen hurried through her morning routine and rushed out the door, turning down a shortcut that would take her through the staff kitchens and hotel bar.

* * * *

Ethan sat at the resort bar with his head in his hands.

“What would you like, sir?” He looked into the cheerful face of the male otter and had to resist the urge to growl. What was wrong with him? He hadn’t felt like himself since leaving Gwen this morning. The urge to lash out at those around him, to fight with any male in the room, kept rising up. Every second he stayed away was a fight with his wolf.

“Ugh, something strong.” Ethan groaned, hoping a drink would take the edge off his nerves.

The bartender’s eyebrows rose and he glanced at his watch before moving to pour the drink. Ethan’s wolf tried the whole time to pull him back to Gwen’s room, but he refused to give in. His wolf would thank him one day. Until then, he needed something to dull his senses.

Although he was only a couple years younger than his brother Jason, unlike him, he wasn’t ready to mate. Yes, his wolf would understand someday. But in the meantime, it felt as if his body was being torn in two.

A long growl grew in Ethan’s chest, causing the bartender to stare at him warily as he set a glass of straight whiskey in front of him.

“I saw you with Gwen last night, didn’t I?” the man ventured. Ethan looked at him, wondering where this conversation was going.

“Yeah?”

“She never sleeps with guests, you know? You must mean something special to her.”

There was a calculating gleam in the man’s gaze that set Ethan on edge. The bartender better be careful. With his wolf this close to the surface, Ethan didn’t have as much control as normal.

“It was just a one night stand. It didn’t mean anything for either of us.”

“You sure? If I know Gwen, she wouldn’t have behaved that way for anyone but her mate.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s not my mate.” His wolf cried inside him as the words left his mouth, fighting hard for control. But for good measure, he went one step further to hammer the point home. “Besides, she isn’t the kind of woman I’d choose for my mate. A jaguar or a coyote is a good mate for a wolf.” Ethan didn’t believe a word he was saying. The woman he’d just left would be a perfect mate for him.

“Mating is a long way off for me,” he muttered.

* * * *

Gwen leaned against the wall in the kitchen behind the bar listening as Ethan discussed the reasons she was ineligible for his mate. A small mewl of distress escaped her before she could contain it.

A jaguar or a coyote is a good mate for a wolf…
Her heart almost burst. No matter how hard she tried to put a positive spin on his words, nothing came to her. Ethan didn’t want her.

Tears tracked down her cheeks but, even though they were silent, she still caught the sympathetic gazes as the staff milled around her. All her hopes and dreams for the future crashed around her in jagged shards, cutting into her on the way down. No matter what Ethan claimed, she knew the truth. Ethan’s wolf was mate to her otter. She’d never been more certain of anything in her life. But despite what his wolf wanted, the man didn’t want the woman. Their animals were made for each other, but that didn’t guarantee a happily-ever-after.

Ignoring the staff, Gwen continued to listen as Ethan denied everything between them. She forced herself to stay, needing to hear this. All of it.

After it appeared he had wound down, Gwen silently crept away, avoiding the gazes and concerned hands reaching for her. When she made it back to her room, she collapsed on the bed, allowing the sobs of grief to escape her at last. No one would hear her in her room as the weight of despair crushed her.

In her darkest hours, she had imagined not finding her mate, or finding him after she was too old to have children. Never did she imagine not being good enough for her mate once she found him.

With fierce resolve, Gwen rose to a sitting position, wiping the tears off her cheeks. Screw that!
He
wasn’t good enough for
her
. She was successful and smart and had a good sense of humor. She managed one of the most successful shifter resorts in the world. Who the hell was he to claim she wasn’t good enough?

A knock at the door interrupted her silent rant. She thought about ignoring it, but as if reading her thoughts, the knocking became more insistent.

“Gwen, I can hear you crying. You’d better open this door right now or I’m breaking it down.” Alyssa’s voice drifted through the solid panel of wood. It figured her best friend would find her eventually. Gossip among the staff always spread quickly. Why would her failure be any different?

Throwing open the door, Gwen took one look at her friend and burst into renewed sobs. Strong arms encircled her small frame and eased the door shut, enclosing them in Gwen’s room. Alyssa was her rock, the one person she knew without a doubt would always be there for her. They’d been inseparable since childhood, despite Gwen being older by three years.

“Oh, sweetheart. What happened?”

Gwen sniveled out the whole sordid affair between sobs, letting her anger and frustration bleed through. Shocked silence met her story until Gwen revealed what she heard in the bar.

“Bastard!” Gwen smiled at the affronted anger expressed on her behalf. “You deserve so much better. Want me to beat him up for you? Say the word, I’ll do it. I may not look like much but I have a mean right hook.”

“You’re a good friend, you know that?” Alyssa always knew how to cheer her up.

“Of course I do.” Both women sat, lost in their own thoughts for a moment. “So what are you going to do now?” The quiet question hung in the air, taunting Gwen.

What was she going to do? The thought of watching Ethan flirt with other guests and staff for the next two weeks was more painful than she could bear. She feared she wouldn’t be able to stand it. Would beg him to come back to her, destroyingher pride along with everything else. Or worse, that he’d use her and she’d be unable to resist. She couldn’t let that happen.

Seeming to sense her distress, Alyssa bumped shoulders with her. “Don’t worry. I give him one day before he’s banging on your door again, crawling back.”

“No.” The statement was quiet but resolved. “He doesn’t want me, Lyssa. It’s not just him denying I’m his mate. He doesn’t want a ‘woman like me’ as his mate. I’m better than that. Damn it, I deserve more than that.” Gwen was quiet for a moment, contemplating her next course of action.

“I have some vacation days saved up. Maybe I’ll go visit Ty’s ranch in Nevada I haven’t seen him in a while.” Ty had worked at the resort for a summer a few years ago and the three had become fast friends. Gwen and Ty had even dated for a while, but it had never been serious. Both had known the other wasn’t a mate, simply good company. After he left to make his own way in the world, she’d kept in contact and they remained good friends. “Besides, it might be good to get away for a few days…or until Ethan checks out.”

A vacation sounded like exactly what she needed. The risk of running into Ethan was too high here. It would kill her to live through the heartbreak of his words over and over. Her worst fear was that the mate attraction was a pull neither of them could resist. She deserved to be wanted for who she was, not forced into a future that would be miserable for both of them. Being alone was preferable to that fate.

Distance was what she needed. The more distance between them, the safer they both were. It was the only option.

* * * *

Ethan couldn’t sit still. Lying on the beach hadn’t helped. Swimming hadn’t helped. Hell, he’d even shifted and run through the woods. Nothing eased the restlessness consuming him. There was only one cure, one thing guaranteed to still the animal inside. One woman. But when he’d searched for her, she wasn’t where he expected her to be. Nor could he find her anywhere else he looked.

So he went back to the first place he’d looked, pacing the hallway outside Gwen’s office. His nose told him she wasn’t inside, but she had to come to work sooner or later. When she did, he’d be waiting.

The need to see her, smell her, hold her, overwhelmed him. The feeling of being caged continued to grow as more time passed.
Where the hell was she?

“Sir, is there something I can help you with?” The voice was friendly enough, but the young otter’s eyes were cold. She looked him over with a sneer, as if finding him lacking.

“Waiting for Gwen,” he managed to growl out.

“I’m sorry, sir. She’s not here. I’d be happy to get our acting manager if there’s a problem you need addressed.”

His heart skipped a beat in his chest.

“What do you mean, she’s not here? I was just with her this morning.” If possible, the eyes looking him over grew colder, and the smile fell from her face.

“Just what I said, she’s not here.” Even the friendliness in her voice had disappeared.

Panic burned in his belly. If she wasn’t here, where was she? What if she’d gone for good? No, he wouldn’t accept that. She was his. Made for him, just as he was made for her. This wasn’t how things were supposed to work.

The woman turned to leave, but Ethan caught up with her and spun her around.

“Where is she?” Ethan demanded. He knew he was being rude, but he couldn’t care about that now. All that mattered was finding his mate.

“She went on a little vacation of her own.” She started to turn away, but Ethan stopped her again.

“When does she return?” A deep rumble built inside him. She hadn’t mentioned a vacation. Had last night meant nothing to her? How could she just leave after everything they’d shared? And without a damn word.

“I believe she mentioned coming back once
you
checked out. Now, if that’s all,
sir
, I have other duties to attend to.”

Half-mad with impatience, Ethan’s wolf had reached the end of it’s rope. Grabbing the woman by the shoulders, Ethan spun her around and demanded to know where his mate had gone. He was through denying what he wanted. He needed Gwen more than he needed his next breath. How dare she run away from him.

If it was the last thing he did, he’d find her, and then find out why she ran. She was his mate and her place was by his side. Forever.