Chosen Heart (34 page)

“Elyssa Jane Hart…you are not a
horrible person.  I don’t know how many times I have to tell you
this.  What happened, happened.  You can’t change it, nor would you
want to and that doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you human.  It
wasn’t meant to be.  Cole is a dick and if I ever mention his name again,
just punch me,” all her words come at a rush.  I know she’s right, but it
doesn’t make me feel any less miserable.

“I’m sure Alex will come
around.  From the sound of it, you gave him a lot to think about, so just
give him space.”

“But what if after I give him
space, he decides it’s just not worth it?  That I’m not worth it?” 
I
don’t think I could endure it.

“Then…that’s his loss, because
you are so worth it!”

“I think I love him, Rach.”

“Oh,” Rachel goes silent for a
moment, “I didn’t realize it was that serious,” she pauses.  “Well, that
changes things.  If you love him, you may have to fight for him. 
Make him see that he’s just scared.”  She’s right.  Alex is scared,
he even told me he was. 

“Thanks, Rach.  I can always
count on you to show me the silver lining.”

“That’s what I’m here for. 
Well, hopefully you two make up so I can finally meet him.  If things work
out, you guys should come over next weekend?”  My sister has always been
the optimistic one; must be nice. 

“If he decides not to loathe me
for the rest of my life, I’ll ask him.”

“Call me if you need anything,
okay?”

“I love you, Rach!”

“Love you more!”

Hanging up with my sister, her
words still ringing in my ear, I make my decision.  I want him; more than
anything else in my life.  I am willing to fight for him, to make him see.

Monday, October 8, 2012

As I arrive at work, my stomach
is in my throat.  Not feeling up to anything, I’m surprised I even got
dressed.  If it wasn’t for the fact that I have several meetings today,
trust me, I would have shown up in my t-shirt and sweats.  Not feeling it
on the inside, at least I tried on the outside.  Deciding on a matching
cream blazer, black lacy camisole and cream pants, I really wish I would have
forgone my new black peep toe pumps.  Even though they make me feel tall
and sexy, my feet feel like they’re about to fall off.

After placing my things in my
desk, I start to go over my schedule and notice a meeting request from Arianna,
first thing this morning.  Something doesn’t seem right.  Paranoia
sets in.  Why am I the only one on the e-mail? 
Did she see
something?
  No one was around when Alex and Cole got into the
fight.  At least, I hope they weren’t.  But then again, I guess I
wasn’t paying too much attention when I was trying to save all three of us.

Buttoning the top button on my
blazer, I head towards Arianna.  My pumps clatter on the marble floor as I
reach the foyer of her office.  Not wasting any time, her secretary sees
my approach and motions for me to go in.  With a pleasant smile, I
approach her desk with caution.  I have no idea what I’m walking in to,
and that scares me a little.

“Please sit, Elyssa.”  While
taking a seat, she cleans up various papers scattered all over her massive
desk.

“You wanted to see me?  Is
everything okay?”

“There are a couple of things I
wanted to go over with you.”  She looks at me and I nod for her to
continue.  “First, I wanted to talk to you about the fundraiser.”

Unable to calm my nerves, I
ramble, “It was a success, I think.  I met a lot of nice, loving people,
and all of the booths seemed to work out.  I hope the company raised a lot
for the Alzheimer’s foundation.”  I hope that didn’t seem as forced as it
sounded. 

“Yes, by all standards it was a
success, we did raise a lot of money.  But, what wasn’t a success is the
drama that you brought to it,” disappointment laced in every word uttered.

Crap!
  “I’m confused,
Arianna.  What drama?” 

“Your drunken ex-boyfriend for
starters.”  Whew.  She’s talking about Cole.  Hopefully she’s
just musing over her conversation with him after I left to go to my
booth.  “You do know there’s a policy against fraternization with
co-workers, right?” 
Or, maybe not
.

“Cole isn’t an employee,” I
mumble, trying really hard to look pensive.  Maybe if I play stupid she’ll
forget her point all together.

“I’m not referring to him,
Elyssa.”  Raising her voice she stares at me; waiting for me to
break.  “Why did Mr. James get into a fight with Cole?” 
Crap! 
Crap!  SHIT!
  I never thought anyone would find out.  I have
to save Alex’s reputation.  I can’t let her know the truth, but what do I
say?  What can I say?  Maybe I’ll stick with the truth; the truth
with a bunch of lies, is still the truth, right? 

Tears well up in my eyes. 
If I play it up enough, maybe she’ll believe me.  “Cole got out of hand
and was getting rough with me.  Mr. James must have seen it and…well, he
saved me from getting hurt.  If it wasn’t for him…”  A single tear
trickles down my face as I utter the words.  Shaking my head, I continue. 
“It doesn’t matter anymore.  Cole wasn’t in his right mind, and I’m very
thankful Mr. James was there to help.” 
I hope I didn’t lay it on too
thick.  It was the truth…well, most of it.

“I’m sorry, Elyssa.  I
didn’t know the situation.  Mr. James called and reported an altercation,
but I haven’t had a chance to probe him further.  He left soon after and I
haven’t seen him this morning.”

“Then, how did you know I was
involved?” 

“He said he got into a fight with
Cole.  I just assumed you were involved,” she shrugs.

“Oh, I see.”  I struggle
with the ring on my finger, nervously turning it around and around.  I
really hope I didn’t put my foot in my mouth by telling her too much. 

After a moment of silence, she
continues to clean up the papers on her desk, ignoring the fact that I’m still
sitting in front of her.  It takes a minute, but she finally
re-acknowledges me.  Her whole demeanor changes; threatening to giddiness
in two seconds flat before addressing me again.  “Well on to happier
topics, there is something I’m delighted to tell you about.  I spoke with
Maggie on Friday, and confirmed with her this morning, she’s chosen you to go
to a conference in San Diego.” 

“Me?  Th-thank you, so much,
Arianna!”

“Don’t thank me.  Thank
Maggie; she chose you, I only had to approve it.”  It’s extremely
gratifying to have a mentor who’s had confidence in you from day one.  I
know I won’t let Maggie down, and make a mental note to thank her later.

“The conference is tomorrow and
it lasts until Thursday.  It’s on sales performance and management. 
Loads of fun, I’m sure.  But, you’ll learn a lot.  Take good notes
and be ready to present them to the team when you get back.”

“Thank you, again, for such a
great opportunity.”  Probably dull, but I am excited to get away for a few
days.  And how lucky am I; San Diego is beautiful.  Too bad I
couldn’t bring Alex with me.  I sigh.

“I wasn’t sure I was going to
approve of you going, not until I had a chance to talk to you about the
fundraiser.  But, now that I have your side of the story, I’m sure nothing
like that will ever happen again, right?”  She looks at me like a mother
hen; an overbearing, authoritative mother hen.

“No, of course not!  I was
completely embarrassed it even happened in the first place.  I’m just
thankful Mr. James was in the right place at the right time.”

Looking back down at the mess
that is her desk, she continues, “I’ll have Maggie book your flight for
tomorrow.”

“Umm Arianna…would it be okay if
I drove?  You know, with my parents….well, I haven’t been able to fly
since.” 

“Oh, of course!  Not a
problem.  She’ll book your hotel.  Just make sure you leave early
enough to get there for the morning brunch, which I believe is at ten. 
I’ll have Maggie e-mail you a copy of the itinerary.”

“Thank you, again.  You
won’t regret it.”

“I hope not.”  I get up as
Arianna looks at her watch, signaling my time with her is over.  I walk
toward her door when I’m stopped in my tracks, “Oh, and Elyssa,” I turn. 
“Remember what I said about fraternization.”  I smile sweetly at her,
hoping she can’t see the deception in my eyes.

Having a minute before my first
meeting, I decide to go and thank Maggie.  She could have sent any one of
the other executives, but she picked me.  I’m so thankful, and I can’t get
the huge grin off my face.  The extra hours and hard work are finally
paying off. 

As I approach her office, I
notice her door is closed, and think twice about interrupting her when I hear
shouting from behind the door.  Recognizing Alex right away, I halt my
initial intention of interrupting.  I’ve never heard Maggie raise her
voice, not even once, especially not to her superior.

Suddenly, the door swings open
and a blast of citrus, musk and Alex, overwhelms me.  Bolting out of the
door, he doesn’t see me as he turns towards Maggie.  “Why did you have to
send one of the new people with me, Magg’s?  Why couldn’t I have one of
the seasoned
guys
?”  From where I’m standing, I can clearly see how
irritated he is as he continues his rant, glaring at Maggie.  “Now I’m
going to have to babysit the entire time I’m there!”

Why does it feel like I’ve been
slapped in the face?  Oh, right it’s because I have.

Like a mummy, I move from behind
the door showing my presence not only to him but to Maggie as well. 
Blindsided, I avoid eye contact, but greet him out of respect.  “Mr.
James,” I nod and maneuver past him into Maggie’s office.  I turn to close
the door, hoping he’s already retreated, but I’m met with his wide crystal blue
eyes.  Before I succumb to my weakness, I look down and close the door on
Alex’s shocked face.

“Elyssa!  I am so glad
you’re here.  How was your weekend?” she exhales, exasperated.  After
listening to Alex pout, she’s probably glad that he’s out of her office.

“Good, yours?”  I’m in utter
shock at Alex’s reaction and am unable to reveal any more than mild
subtleties. 
Get a grip, Ely.  You are stronger than this!

“Too short!  Come in, have a
seat.”  Maggie motions me towards her plush green office chair.  “Did
Mrs. Salerno have a chance to talk to you about San Diego?”

“Yes, that’s why I’m here. 
I wanted to thank you for giving me this chance.  I’m gonna guess that I’m
the inexperienced one Mr. James was referring to, and from the looks of it he
doesn’t seem too happy about this arrangement.”  I pause as I choke back
the sobs that are anxiously waiting to escape my lips.  “I hope he’s not
upset with you.”

“Don’t you worry about him,
Elyssa.  It’s not up to him.  I know I chose the right person. 
Besides, he’s just in a bad mood because he got into a fight at the
fundraiser.”

Feigning concern, “Is he
okay?”  Alright, maybe not feigning; desperation is more like it.

“Yah, apparently some drunken
asshole thought it was okay to start something and he didn’t.  His knuckles
are pretty beat up, but of course, he doesn’t let that stop him.  Big bad
Alexander James,” she chuckles.  “He’s normally such a pussy cat; don’t
let his bad mood ruin your big chance!  I foresee big things for you,
Elyssa!   We have a few big brokers going and I expect that you’ll
network and make sure they continue to push our products.  I wouldn’t be
sending you if I didn’t think you could pull it off.”

“I won’t let you down.  I
let Mrs. Salerno know that I’ll be driving, but no worries I’ll leave early
enough.”

“If Mrs. Salerno’s okay with it
then so am I.  I’ll e-mail you the hotel information in a little
while.  I know this is short notice, so after your meetings today, why
don’t you leave so you can pack and get ready for tomorrow.”

“I will, and again, thank you for
the opportunity, Maggie!” 

Even though my meeting went well,
and she has a way of cheering me up, despair overwhelms me the moment I step
out of her office.  Alex’s words continue to echo in my head.  He
doesn’t want me to go.  He still doesn’t understand.  I clutch at my
heart, feeling like it’s going to explode out of my chest.  If only the
fundraiser never happened, this would be our first trip together.  I need
to make things right.

Walking back towards my desk, I
devise a plan.  Still having about an hour to spare before my meeting I
decide it’s now or never.  He says he doesn’t understand, so I’ll have to
make him understand.  Make him see, so he can forgive me.

My Heart:

I know you need time, time to figure out
what all of this means, and space away from me to clear your head.  So,
instead of calling you every second of every hour of every day, I’ve decided to
put my thoughts on paper.  I hope you’ll hear me out, because I am
sorry.  And, because you need to know that I’ve fallen for you.

First of all, I don’t blame you for
feeling the way you feel right now.  Hearing your conversation with Maggie
killed me, but I understand.  I know the arrangements for San Diego aren’t
ideal, and if this wasn’t such an amazing opportunity for me, I would bow
out.  I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.  But, at
the same time, I can’t help but feel we’ve been cheated.  If we were the
same two people who ate pancakes together just days ago, we would be going to
San Diego not only as a business team, but as a couple.  Instead, we are
barely going as a team.