Commitments (34 page)

brina and Derek were married on the third of

mber in the office of a justice of the peace. That t they celebrated over dinner at the Hanover inn, they ate alone. They had made no mention of their to family or friends, preferring to keep it vate and personal. It wasn't that they weren't in anyone looking at them could see that they were. each had doubts about the wisdom of their marryat that particular time, and neither felt they wanted doubts confirmed by a third party, or a fourth or ee to do something for the sheer frivolity of it, y flew to St. Croix. It was there that Sabrina learned

@,what extent her husband was an adventurer. He sailing, waterskiing and windsurfin& but scuba was what truly caught his fancy. Held never it before. Neither had Sabrina, for that matter, '-',,.in no time she was in'all the appropriate gear Derek and their trained guide through speccoral canyons in the sun-warmed Caribbean hindsight, Sabrina realized that scuba divin& requiring a fair amount of guts, was still relaconventional. Less conventional, and more ive, were some of the other things Derek did - in with the native dancers during a beach spending an afternoon in a broad hat and bright subbing for a vendor at a thong shop, and awak-345 ening Sabrina in the middle of the night, carrying her in his irms to the beach and making love to her in the moonlight. ' can't do this, Derek!' she whispered loudly as he pressed her down to the sand. The only answer he gave was to bunch her nightgown to her waist. ', it's a public beach!' He lifted his hips to free himself from his shorts. His grin gleamed in the moonlight. ''s three in the mom-ing. Wew alone.' ' is indecent - ahhhh, Derek - mmmrn." He withdrew, then filled her again. ' good?' he asked, his voice thick with sensual satisfaction. She raised her knees to his hips and met his thrust. '. ' at it this way.' He took a quick breath, then a th when the first didn't last long enough to n przuecre a single word. ' chancing upon us will see something beautiful." Later, when she could think clearly again, Sabrina saw the truth to that. Of course, no one had chanced upon them, so it was fine to be philosophical. But when she was with Derek she felt bold. In fact, what surprised her most was not so much Derek's unorthodoxy but the fact that she loved it. Six months before, she'd have said that the ideal vacation consisted of lying in the sun, reading book after book beneath the the to the lushn shade of _palms and returning ess of a luxury hotel to eat and sleep. That all sounded rather ' tame to her now. Derek had awakened far more than her sensuality. Defiance was one word to describe what she felt. Derek and she deserved to have fun. They'd both paid more than their share of dues in the past few years, and she knew that the dues-paying wasn't quite done. 346 gone against the grain, she as a mother, he as -@@investigative reporter, and their marriage was sure raise a few eyebrows. But whatever they'd done, done out of conviction. so she told herself during those halcyon days in Isun. And so she told herself when, after ten days, returned to Vermont. say that their life then fell into a pattern was to t the truth. The patterd was a non-pattem. and Derek followed no schedule, simply each other from day to day, enjoyed the peace e farmhouse, enjoyed late nights before the fire, mornings in bed, long walks over the newly fallen They were lovers playing hooky from the Of life, and as long as those realities kept their e, it worked. ately, the distance began to diminish as the' and the telephone rang with increasing ty. Sabrina's parents were less than ecstatic her marriage. Derek's agent wasnt as concerned the marriage as about Derek's settling in Verseveral of Derek's old friends and coworkers, been recruited by his agent to change his mind, trying to do just that - tono avail. Maura called to know when she would have a book proposal r to Sabrina's editor. And the Greenhouse

"saymg, that Nicky really did need to be taken his doctors in New York for tests. wouldn't hear of Sabrina's going alone, and was more relieved Page 125

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

than she could say. Travel-Nicky was difficult at best. Having Derek lending physical and emotional support, two days a bit more bearable. was humbled by the experience. He'd heard's descriptions of life with Nicky, but he hadn't 347 been able to fully comprehend the nature of the demands until he'd had to meet them himself. No amount of special feelings - and he had plenty of those for the child - could blunt the fact that when one took care of Nicky, one had time for precious little else in life. ' am in awe of you/ he told Sabrina during their drive back north. ' incredible patience you must have had all those months,

-the physical strength alone to continue.' . ' did my share of crumbling/ she said softly. Nicky was lying against her, asleep. Her own eyes were closed, her cheek resting on his baby-soft hair. ' my ex-husband. He'll tell you how wonderful I was.' ' never calls, does he?' '.' ''d think he'd want to know about his son. Will you tel'I him about this visit?' She shook her head. ' few more seizures, a few more pills. He won't be interesfied. No, that's wrong. It's not a matter of interest. He just can't cope with the idea of his son being flawed like this.' Derek took his eyes from the road to dart intermittent glances her way. While her words might have easily been bitter, they weren't. Indeed, there was a serenity to her - the same serenity he remembered from the first time he'd seen her. She'd been holding Nicky then, too. She was a natural mother. In spite of the fatigue she felt, Sabrina had a difficult time saying good-bye to Nicky at the Greenhouse door. Derek could understand that. He'd had a glimpse of Nicky's smile the night before. He'd felt the tear in his heart, and Nicky wasn't even his. During the drive back to the farmhouse, Derek held Sabrina close to his side. She was quiet through most 348 of the ride, but she didn't seem strung as tightly as she'd been when she'd returned after seeing Nicky -on Thanksgiving day. He wanted to think that his presence made the difference. When he turned off on the road to the farmhouse, though, he had a moment's sharp fear that his presence was going to make another kind of difference. ' have guests., Sabrina, too, was peering through the windshield. ,,The light snow that had been falling for the past several hours didn't come close to covering the sleek gray Jaguar that stood by the house. ' it?' Derek asked. Held stopped a distance away and was approaching cautiously. '.' She wouldn't have been concerned, had it not en for the tension in his voice. ' about you?

He gave a short shake of his head. ' car like that , be hard to forget. ' burglar would be driving a Jaguar. But a big shot from New York would, Derek thought..-T-hen he got close enough to decipher Vermont plates the snow. ' of the transplants you've met?' She shook her head. He eased the car slower. ''s arental.' -didn't know you could rent Jaguars.' '@'You can rent just about anything if you have the u @,-She shot an alarmed glance at the house. ', I it's not my parents.' Are they good at picking locks? I wouldn't put it past my dad.' She sat back in her t and remained there even when Derek brought the to a complete halt. @Someone's made himself at home. I can smell a fire 349 Sabrina didn't budge. Gtasping the handle of the door, he looked at her. '?' ', this could be very unpleasant.' '

it's your parents, you rnean?' She gave an apologetic nod. '

still,' he said, pushing, himself from the seat, istay put., it occurred to him that he'd like to see for himself who was in the farmhouse before Sabrina approached it. Though he suspected that his car had already been heard, he closed the door very quietly. Then, keeping low, he loped toward the house, flattened himself against the clapboard, peered around the window frame. A minute later he was back leaning into the car. '

guy. Long and lean. Blond hair. Wire-rimmed specs.' Sabrina closed her eyes. ''s wearing a pair of baggy overalls,' Derek went on. , ''s he doing?' ''s sprawled in front of the fire, staring at the flames., She opened her eyes, muttered, ''s J. B., all right/ and climbed out of the car. No sooner had Derek unlocked the front door when she burst Page 126

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

through, prepared to do battle. ' are you doing here, J. BY J.B. looked up and stared at her for a long minute before turning his stare on Derek. His expression was blank. Derek, who'd already heard enough from Sabrina to be more than prepared for her brother, went forward and offered his hand. -'Derek Mcgill/he said. Sitting up, 1. B. shook Derek's hand, then wrapped his arms around his knees. 350 '. BY Sabrina prodded. ' I'd visit.' fvvhyr J.B. Is stare was as vacant as ever. It was joined by a noncommittal shrug. 11 wanted to meet your new husband., ' and Dad sent you.' ' told me to come. I told them to bug off. I came on my own.' Derek snickered at his irreverence and was rewarded by a dirty look from Sabrina, who quickly refocused on her brother. ' you're planning on making life miserable for us, you can get back in that Jaguar and leave.' J. B.'s face split into a sudden grin. ' car, isn't it? I've never driven one before.' He stopped grinning. ''s a noreaster forecast. I think you're stuck with me for a while.' She bowed her head and pressed the throbbing spot between her eyes. Derek, who'd been standing to the side with one hand on his hip, curved that hand around her neck and said very softly, ' to take some aspirin and he down. for a while? It's been a long two days."

"She darted an unsure glance toward her brother. ''ll keep him company/

Derek assured her. ' it's me he's come to meet, we can spare you for a while.' Sabrina knew she was being cowardly, but she didn't care. It had been a long two days. She simply wasn't -UP to dealing With J.B. just yet. With a look of gratitude - and luck - for Derek, she left the room. Derek watched her go, then tucked his hands in the kets of his slacks and turned to J.B. ' did you get here? ' few hours ago.' 351 '

did you get in?' ' upstairs was open. I climbed the oak and dropped onto the overhang.' Derek thought about that for a minute. '

the snake did in Slither?' J.B. stared at him soundlessly for a time.

"Should I be impressed that you've read me, or dismayed that you identify me with the snake?' '., J.B. didn't acknowledge that one way or another. Derek wondered what he was thinking as he stared, wondering if he was picturing him behind bars. That staring made Derek uneasy. It was like his first day back in New York, when held felt that he had every one of his sins and those of his father plastered across his forehead. The past two days had been better, thank God. Between Sabrina's loft and the hospital, he'd only met a few double takes. He could get used to that, he supposed. But J.B. Monroe's endless stare?

Partly annoyed, partly stubborn himself, he stared right back. That seemed to jar J.B. from his empty reverie. ''ve you two been?"

"New York. Nicky needed to have some tests done there.' ' is he?"

"He's been having more seizures. There's medication for it, but otherwise ... I He shrugged.-J.B. crinkled his nose to hike up his glasses. ' folks are having a real problem with this.' Vith Nicky?"

"With you. And Sabrina. And your marriage.' ' it's just as well that they're on the West Coast.' 352 ''ll come East. They'll want to see you for themselves., ', exactly, will they want to see? I've got everything where it's supposed to be., ''ll want evidence that you're as bad as they think.' Derek sniffed in a deep breath and looked off toward the window. The snow was coming in great white clumps. Pretty. Too pretty to sully. He shouldn't be faced with J.B. just now. He didn't want the divisiveness in Sabrina's world. But it was there, and it Was his to deal with. Why did they decide I was bad?' he asked quietly. Tecause of the murder? The prison term? My lack of social papers?' He blew out a snort. ', I'd have thought that being a little eccentric themselves, they'd have been more liberal than that."

"They're more conventional than you'd think. And besides, Sabrina's Page 127

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

their baby.' ''s over thirty.' ' worry about her.' ' do I/

Derek said. He regarded his brother-in-law "through sober eyes. ' I first met Sabrina, she was li@,:,Ured and tense, overworked and underappreciated ... t Is has happened in her life since then that I can't e any responsibility for, but I do know that since e's been with me she's been better. She eats. She eeps. She smiles and laughs. She's happy. I make her ppy. So how can your parents begrudge me?' "At this point it's the marriage.' ', the marriage - same difference. Sabrina and I dn't have to get married. We could have just lived ther. If they're so conservative, they should be ed.' B. stared at him a minute longer, then swiveled 353 toward the fireplace, grabbed the poker and began to push'at the burning logs. When he had them rearranged to his satisfaction, he withdrew the poker and studied its forked tip. ''s nice up here.' Derek allowed him the momentary shift of subject mainly because it. was so benign. ' said you'd been u p several times." J.B. frowned at the poker. He turned it once, slowly, completely. '

do you write? Derek asked. ' few months. Intensively.' Recalling what Sabrina had said about her family's workstyle, Derek believed him.

"You're between books now, I take it.' J.B. ran a finger along the tip of the poker. ' was thinking of staying up here for a while. Setting myself up somewhere to write.' fwhat about your daughters? When J.B. looked up, his eyes held something vaguely akin to emotion. ' about themv ' you're here, you won't see them much., ' don't see them much, anyway. They don't like me.1 ' on. All kids like their parents."

"They love them. They may not like them. There's a difference.' Though Derek hadn't thought about it quite that way before, he couldn't argue. He'd despised his parents through most of his childhood, but still there'd been a certain other feeling that held been unable to escape. He supposed it was love, a blood-runs-thickerthan-water type of thing. Perhaps that was one of the reasons - albeit a minor one - why he'd been so angry about being set up for murder. His father had paid for 354 his crimes both with his time and his life; it seemed unfair that mud should be slung at his grave. J.B. was staring at him again, but the stare was less vacant. ' you and Sabrina plan to have kids?, Something flared in Derek. His first impulse was to tell J.B. that it was none of his business. Then he paused to consider his own reaction and realized that J.B. had hit a sore spot. ' don't know/ he answered cautiously. '