Authors: Barbara Delinsky
Tags: #Romance, #Contemporary, #Fiction, #General, #Fiction - Romance, #Love stories, #Romance - Contemporary, #Romance & Sagas, #Modern fiction, #Popular American Fiction, #Journalists, #Contemporary Women, #Married women, #Manhattan (New York; N.Y.), #Prisoners
Barbara Delinsky - Commitments
that she was his wife's best friend and his tongue. t h e - have you ever noticed - ' She took a er th and tried again. ' you ever been aware ?:Spit it out, Maura.' oel Greer. What you're doing could ruin his career..,.,think he'd do just about anything to make sure you It succeed.' ould be/ Derek said with caution, momentarily etting his personal feelings for Maura as he waited ",hear what she had to say.
- the course of your ... work ... on this case, is a chance that you've been followed?' erek felt the beginnings-of an awful suspicion
.ng at the back of his mind. ' do you ask?' e swallowed. '
pictures your friend Jason ught - the ones of him and the others with Greer Greer had autographed - there was another man e of thern.' She clasped her fingers tightly. ' was ard.' ' was silent for a minute. ' Richard?' She nodded. He couldn't recall a Richard working closely with r. ' you know what he was doing there?' '. I knew he was affiliated with one of the nets on an executive level, but he always evaded the cifics. Except when it came to you.'Disgusted with elf now, she looked away. ' wanted to talk 407 specifics then, all right. He wanted me to talk them to @him. About you.' Back braced against the archway with his hands tucked hard in his pockets, Derek didn't move a muscle. His gaze was dark and direct, commanding her to explain. ' he told it/ she said, ' was with the competition. That was why he wanted to keep tabs on you after you were released from prison. He wanted to know what you were doing with yourself, whether you were angry, vengeful, spiteful, whether you were working or thinking of working. He led me to believe that there was a potential job in it for you, which was why' - her voice wavered -'why I went along.' ' ' wanted to keep tabs on me/ Derek repeated. His voice was cool and as taut as his jaw.
"Through you?' She didn't have to confirm it. Even if her expression hadn't been guilty, held have known. It made sense, explained her frequent phone calls and visits, the questions that had so gotten on his nerves. If he hadn't been so busy dealing with the anger of betrayal, he might have been relieved to learn that there was good reason why she'd been such a pest. Running a hand around the back of his neck, he ground out a low, ' can't believe you did that.' ' didn't realize I was doing anything wrong.' ''re Sabrina's best friend! Is nothing sacred to YOU21 ' thought I was helping her out.' ' betraying her confidence?
What she told you - what we told you - was said in large part in the context of the book Sabrina wants to write. You were here not only as her friend but as her agent. Whatever happened to professional ethics? I 408-stood her ground, regarding him not in deflbut as one who knew that no argument she gave excuse what she'd done.. I that in her eyes, Derek turned his head and tried to see it from Greer's point of view. ' the perfect cover/ he said to the window. had said she wanted to write a book and you her agent.' He looked sharply back at Maura. much did this Richard of yours know when he contacted you?' t that Sabrina and I were good f@iends. He found the rest while we ... were getting to know each actually dated him/ Derek muttered in ement. was I to know?' she asked in dismay. ' he sounded goddamned logical to me! It never d to me that I was being used - well, maybe or twice when I felt he was asking too many ns about you and not enough about me, but it She frowned at the floor, ran a palm over the d of her jeans, swallowed hard. ' really liked he liked you? hand that had been at her waist flew into the h yeah, that's what he said. He was going to take to St. Martin next month. He was going to send my way.' She sighed and said more quietly, '
",going to bankroll the first of the spas that I told about. That was the payoff, I suppose, only I know it was a payoff. I thought he was doing it he believed in the idea. And because he in me.' She squeezed her eyes shut for an t. ', I'm a fool.' 409 Derek was studying her closely. ' really did like him/ he said, then asked almost idly, Page 148
Barbara Delinsky - Commitments
"Richard who?' Traling. Only for all I know, that's not his real name at all.' Fraling. Derek was the one to close his eyes this time. They remained shut for a brief, tight moment. ''s his real name/ he said, refocusing on Maura, ' he rarely uses the Richard. The rest of us knew him as Greg. R. Gregory Fraling. I wouldn't call him Greer's right-hand man, because he's too low to the ground for that. He's known for doing the dirty work.'Which was perhaps one of the reasons Derek had always detested the man. Fraling stayed behind the scenes. He never soiled his hands, but he did an incredible amount of damage nonetheless. He reminded Derek of his father. Other than the ghost of a helpless wince, Maura's expression hadn't changed. But she turned and walked toward the window, where -she stood with one arm wrapping her waist, the other crossing her chest. It was then that Derek saw through his anger enough to realize that she was hurt. As he thought about it, he guessed she was humiliated as well. For the first time he felt sympathy for her. Crossing to where she stood, he said more gently, ''s a bastard, Maura. He's not worth what you're feeling.' She stared silently into the darkness for a minut , and during that time, studying her face, Derek realized that she wasn't a beauty. it was makeup that made the most of her features, playing up some, playing down others. Where that didn't work, her hairstyle took up the slack, and where that didn't work, the flamboyann e of her personality took over. Without the flamboyance - and there was certainly none now - the rest lost something almost through a domino effect. 410 up at him, she said in a measured tone, married, isn't he? I rek might have spared her that final pain had already been out of the picture. But the man d be expecting to see her when she returned to York. She had a right to the truth. She needed it. He's married.' pressed her lips together and nodded. ' had a feeling he was. He never spent more than a or two with me At a time, always said he had to back to his place in case someone was looking for Whenever I told him to leave my number with ver it was that might be looking, he made a joke t wanting to keep my number to himself, and he ed the joke up with' she darted a chagrined at the ceiling - ', I never pushed him on it. er did see his place. He said he liked mine better. restaurants we went to were always out-of-theand dark - he said he couldn't stand the noise of ,-known places. He never took me to the ter or to public functions.' she pressed her @lips together. Spasms of a crossed her brow. ' signs were all there. I d have known. The bitch of it is that I've always doing things big and being seen. But with him it different. I liked the privacy, too. I thought I'd found the right man., was looking sadly off into the night when she in a weak voice, ' he have kids?' . debated. Again he yielded. Tour.' ur.' She looked up at him in pained amusement. st, he's a stud - ' Her voice broke at that and lost ment. ' I am a fucking fool.' ot a fool, Maura. just human.' 411
"A fool.' She shook her head and breathed a scathing, '! I '
thought it was for real. You were taken in by a pro. He's a con man, a charmer. That's his job, and he does it well. You aren't the first one to have fallen for his lines, and you won't be the last.' ' why doesn't that make me feel better?' she bit off sarcastically, then shook her head again and said with remorse, ''m sorry. You're trying to help. By rights you should be furious at me., ''m furious at the situation, which is nothing new, only now there's another person hurt in the mess." And that was, in fact, how he saw it. Quite unexpectedly he found that he was glimpsing not the Maura who was spirited to the point of being dipsy, but one o craved the same kind of love that her best friend had found. Derek supposed that another wom in might have betrayed them out of jealousy, but he knew that hadn't been the case with Maura. She had Page 149
Barbara Delinsky - Commitments
simply wanted to be loved, to be protected, pampered, cared for, and she'd wanted those things enough to overlook warning signs that she might otherwise have seen. His fingers curved around her shoulder. ''m sorry you were drawn in.' She shrugged under his hand, then asked in a small voice, ' much damage did I do? I ' knows for sure that we're after Ballantine, but he could have learned that easily enough without you. As for the rest, we haven't gotten anywhere near the files, so what damage there is is minimal.' ' you been followed?' Derek told her about the man he'd seen on three of their flights. Maura was visibly shaken. It was a minute before she'd recovered her composure enough to say, ' really 412 sorry. If there's danger involved, you have every to blame me. I know that you never liked me - I never had a chance to get to know you. you were ays babbling on and on about me., :@Did YOU
Suspect me? When You realized you were followed, You must have wondered about a leak., ou were U.1 are - Sabrina's best friend. I trusted
;@_%nd I betrayed you., She turned to him with an t expression. ''t tell Sabrina. Please, Derek, "t tell her. She's all I've got. My parents are gone. I y had a brother, and he's living with the Eskimos Bay and couldn't give a flying damn where or what I'm doing. Sabrina is my family. We have story. She's the only person in my life that knows about the real me, but if she learns what I've she"ll hate me., e'll understand., t Maura'was shaking her head. ''ll be disilned. She'll never trust me again. She'll never trust again.' She held up both hands. ' it's not I. d0n1t want to lose her as a client, because I won't on the book again. If Sabrina brings it up, 1,11 tell ti . she'd be better reoresented by someone I'll leave you two alone, I swear I will, and I'll be long as I know that I can call Sabrina someor see her once in a while in New York., closed his hands over hers to still their
"YOU aren't leaving. Sabrina loves you., Ut I've caused so much trouble.' anyone caused it, I did by. setting my heart on files - or Greer did, by stealing two years of my or Ballantine did by compromising himself for ver the reason it ends up to be., 413 ' I've made things worse. Sabrina will be sick when she finds out.' Iff she finds out. She doesn't have to. I won't tell her if you don't. But if you pick up unexpectedly and leave, she'll find out, and she'll be doubly sick." Maura eyed him skeptically. ' can't actually want me to stay./ Vell/
he drawled with surprising good humor - given what he'd just learned 'not forever. You were planning to head back to New York anyway in another two days. That sounds about right., His good humor faded. '
your being here will cheer Sabrina up. She's been a little down lately."
"She does look tired.' ' idea what's bothering her?' he asked with deliberate nonchalance. He felt a little foolish having to ask his wife's best friend something that, as his wife's husband, he should know himself. With a semblance of her usual flair, Maura put him at ease.
"The day Sabrina tells me something before she tells it to you will be the day Gary Hart becomes a monk.' She frowned and grew thoughtful. '
may be worried about Nicky. She mentioned that she wanted to get over to see him.' Sabrina had mentioned the same thing to Derek. ' he taken a turn for the worse? I Maura asked. ' that I know of. I'll have to take her over this week. The thing is that it always upsets her, and there's so little I can do to help. It's a no-win situation. Frustrating as hell.' What was particularly frustrating for Derek was that this time Sabrina insisted on going to visit Nicky alone. She said that she needed to do it and turned 414 even his offer to act as her chauffeur and sit in car during her visit. So his helplessness was compounded. The four hours was gone were difficult ones for him, and when returned she was dry-eyed, but quiet and with-. Derek was beginning to think of taking drastic to make her talk, when she did so of her own Chapter 17.
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The
clock on the bed stand read two thirty-seven, which was three minutes later than it had been the last time Sabrina had looked. She sat up and was still for a while, then quietly freed herself from the quilt and crossed the bedroom to stand at the window. The night was dark and wet. There was no moon to fight the sky, no snow to serve as a reflector. She was half-grateful about the last, since she was wanting desperately to think spring, and rain was a sure sign of that. She'd been feeling chilly lately. She needed the psychological edge that came with the warming of the sun. There was no psychological edge to be found at the window tonight. The tattoo of rain on the roof seemed somehow disassociated from the pall of darkness that hung heavy and blunt over the yard. Turning from it, she sank into the nearby bentwood rocker, drew her knees up under her nightgown and hugged them close. She rested her cheek on one knee and sat that way for a minute, then turned her head, closed her eyes and propped her chin on the other knee. Then she slowly opened her eyes to look at Derek. He was sprawled on his back with the quilt pulled to a point just above his waist. One arm was folded beneath his head, bunching that visible part of his chest into a contoured wall of muscle. He often slept that way. She'd initially thought it strange until she realized that Derek often fell asleep thinking - or awoke in the middle of the night and fell back to sleep 416 and since his was a thinking pose, it made se. on this night as she looked at him she felt a pulling -,inside, and without conscious intent, she rose from e rocker and returned to the bed. Folding a leg ,"beneath her, she sat close by his side studying his face. ;@'Alrnost as though she'd willed it, he slowly opened his eyes. She didn't move.
"Sabrina?'he whispered. She reached for the hand he had laid on his stomach, and, taking it in both of hers, held it tightly in her lap. Derek was quickly awake. Something was wrong. There had been times when Sabrina had woken him in the middle of the night with a kiss here, a touch there, one caress leading to another; but there was none of that now, just a desperate kind of clinging to his hand. Sitting up, he used his free hand to smooth the tangle of hair from her cheeks. ' is it, sweetheart?, ''m frightened,' she said in a small voice. ' whaw
"Something's happening. I don't know how it could be happening, but I'm sure it is, and it's scaring me.' He could feel the beat of his blood as it pulsed through his veins, and the hand that had been stroking her hair came to a light rest on the back of her neck. ' me what's wrong. I She held his hand tighter. J think I'm pregnant.' Derek's pulse tripped. He was sure held misheard. But even before he had a chance to ask, she was repeating herself.. ' think I'm pregnant. I don't know how, because I'm using an IUD and it can't come out by itself. It's always worked before, but my body's doing things only a pregnant body does.' 417 Derek stared at her shadowed face for a minute before twisting to switch on the low Lunp by the bed. Vhat things?' he asked when he was facing her again. ' tired all the time. And nauseated. That flu I had wasn't the flu. it never developed into anything more than fatigue and nausea - never any fever or chills - and I still have it. My breasts feel tighter, like the skin suddenly doesn't fit what's inside. And I've missed two periods., Jesus/ Derek breathed. He didn't know whether to be happy or sad, because that depended on which Sabrina was and he couldn't quite figure it out. Then he was distracted looking at her breasts, brushing the back of his fingers against one, finding that it was indeed firmer and wondering why he hadn't noticed sooner. His eyes flew back to her face. '?, Her features wore every one of the fears that had been churning inside her since she'd finally acknowledged the probability. ''ve tried to pretend it wasn't so. When Page 151