Complicated Relationships (The Southern Devotion Series Book 3) (16 page)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

A Mother's Love

In Florida, we rented a car at the airport and loaded up there. We checked into our hotel, and Macy put on a dress while I put on my dress shirt and slacks. My hands trembled with nerves as I tried to button my shirt. Lanie noticed and placed her hands over mine to stop me. She finished buttoning my shirt and then smiled and whispered, "You look very handsome. You're going to be fine, and Macy will too."

If I didn't love this woman before, I did now. She knew what I needed to hear. She grasped my hand, and as we were leaving I noticed she took Macy's too. She also offered to drive while I sat next to Macy in the back seat.

"You ok, squirt?"

"I guess. I'm not sure what to say when we see her."

"It'll come to you. I'm not sure what to say myself either."

Macy grasped my hand and held it tightly for the remainder of the ride. When the hospital came into view, I heard her breathing speed up and noticed she had begun to panic a bit. "Kiddo, you can stay with Lanie if you don't want to do this."

"No. I need to be there with you."

"I love you, squirt," I whispered and then kissed the top of her head.

The nurse at registration recognized me from when I would visit before. "Tristan? I didn't expect to see you again."

"We came to say goodbye. Has she gotten worse?"

The nurse placed her hand over mine and offered a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Tristan. She passed away an hour ago."

Lanie turned to embrace Macy, who began to cry the moment she heard the news. The sounds intensified around me; machines beeped louder, Macy's sobs grew heavier, and I could hear my heart beating. The nurse's voice was the only thing I couldn't hear anymore. My head had spun with images of my mother before her diagnosis. Macy barely had much memory of that time, but I got a mother for the first fourteen years of my life.

"Tristan!" my mother called out. I was supposed to be on the playground with my friends, but I wandered off into the woods behind it. Her voice grew more frantic as she called out my name. Finally, I came running out and saw her cheeks covered with tears as she looked around anxiously. She spotted me and ran over to snatch me up in her arms. She spun around holding me against her tightly, pressing my head against her chest. "Don't ever scare me like that again!"

That night when she put me to bed she asked me why I'd run away. "You were talking to your friends and Tommy dared me to go into the woods with him. Since you were talking I didn’t think you'd miss me."

"I'll always miss you when you aren't around. You're my little Tristan-bull."

"I'm sorry I ran away today, Mommy. Do you still love me?"

"Always and forever, Tristan."

"Tristan?" Lanie's voice brought me back to the present. Her face crinkled with concern as she waited for me to answer. "Tristan, let's take them up on the offer of the private room where we can talk."

The nurse had mentioned a private room for families to congregate, and she offered it
up to us.
I followed behind them silently, still lost in memories.

My mother always picked me up after school. Normally she was the first one in the pick-up line, standing there smiling with her arms open as I ran to the car. One Thursday afternoon in third grade, she didn't show up. The teacher took me inside to the principal's office when I was the last one waiting for a ride. I sat outside in the hallway while they called my parents. She ran into the building. "Tristan! I'm sorry sweetheart. My car had a flat tire."
              "I thought you forgot me."

"There is nothing that could ever make me forget you. You're my favorite special little man and all I think about is you."

"Drink this," Lanie commanded, offering me a steamy cup of coffee.

"Thanks," the first word I'd spoken since hearing the news. It shocked Lanie as much as it shocked me. Her face relaxed into a compassionate smile as I came back into the world with them.

"Macy," I spoke her name realizing I hadn't checked for her reaction.

"I'm fine, Tristan. I miss her, but she left a long time ago." The fourteen-year-old is taking it better than the twenty-four-year-old, I'd never felt like less of a man than this moment.

"The nurse said that your mother is still in the room, waiting for transport. You can go in and say your goodbyes if you'd like. Or you can wait for the funeral. We need to start arrangements, Tristan. I know this is hard, but I'll help however I can."

"Thanks."

"I'm going to leave you two alone and go check with the nurses about how to make arrangements." Lanie used the excuse as a chance to give me time to see how Macy felt. She loved Lanie, but hadn't known her very long and may have felt embarrassed to talk too much about her feelings.

Before I could ask again how she was doing, Macy began to tell a story. "I have a couple of memories before Mom got sick. I was five, and I wanted one of those fancy dollhouses. She told me we couldn't afford one because they cost half her weeks pay. Instead, she gathered up shoe boxes from all her friends and glued them together to make rooms. She used the lids to form a roof and a patio. She covered the outside with construction paper and left the inside blank. When she presented it to me, she told me we'd decorate the rooms together. We made furniture from popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners. It ended up being the best dollhouse in the world."

"Wow, Macy. I don't remember that."

"We worked on it the summer you went camping. You probably never paid attention to it in my room."

"What happened to it?"

"I tried to bring it when we moved. It fell apart when I tried to move it. I got angry and threw it away." Macy's eyes stared at the floor as she relived the sad memory.

The door creaked open, and Lanie popped her head inside. "Hey, there's someone here who said he knew your mother. He'd like to speak to you?"

I nodded approval, as I tried to imagine who was about to come in that door. When his face came into view, I stood up knocking the chair back. Lanie had caught it before it fell over. "What are you doing here?"

My father stood there with a smile on his face as if we should be happy to see him. It began to fade as he realized we weren’t. "I left my number with one of the nurses and asked her to call me personally when your mother passed."

"What!? So you wanted to be divorced from her and never see her again but wanted to make sure you knew the minute she was dead?"

"Don't act like I'm the only one that left. You and Macy moved hundreds of miles away."

"We were kids! We left to spare ourselves the heartache of a mother who didn't know us on top of a father who abandoned us! Don't pretend as though we are anything like you."

Lanie moved to Macy's side. I hadn’t noticed she was crying. "I'm going to take Macy to the cafeteria. She doesn't need to be around this. You two need to sit down and talk this over. You're in a hospital environment. People do not need to hear such anger." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "I love you. Text me if you need me back here."

"Beautiful woman you have there. How long have you been together?"

"That's none of your business. You lost the privilege to know anything about me when you walked out on us six years ago. You can't even imagine the hell Macy has been through because of you."  It angered me that he assumed he could show up today and reenter our lives as though he'd done nothing wrong.

The last time I spoke with him was the day he'd come to me with the paperwork. He handed me a manila envelope and said to sit down and read it over, and he'd answer any questions I had. He explained that taking care of my mother had taken a toll on him. He couldn't handle seeing her losing her mind, couldn't handle not having a wife waiting at home for him each evening. He never mentioned the consequence it might be having on his children. Taking care of Macy was too much for him alone. He loved her but felt that I could raise her better. He's a businessman with a steady job with tenure but felt that a kid just graduating high school with no job would be a better father. If it hadn't been incredibly pathetic, I might have laughed.

He never even told Macy goodbye. Once I signed the paperwork, he walked away leaving me a note for Macy that read 'be good for your brother' and contained a check for ten thousand dollars to get us started. I stretched that money to supplement my income while I worked as many odds and ends jobs as possible. I'd graduated from high school at the top of my class expecting to go to college. Instead, I spent my life flipping burgers, waiting tables, picking up garbage, cutting lawns, and finally my job at Disney where I met Mary Jane.

The job at Disney gave me the opportunity to take Macy there since she'd never been. It gave me a chance to offer her some semblance of a normal childhood. We visited Mom up until we moved. We began going three times a week, then it trickled down to once a week and finally to about once a month. Each visit I'd ask the nurse if our father had been by and every time it was the same answer. After signing away his children and divorcing his wife he never looked back. He was a coward, and I wanted nothing to do with him. Even being in the same room with him made me sick.

I stood up and walked toward the door. "We're arranging the funeral. If you come, don't speak to us unless we speak to you. Stay away from Macy."

"You can't keep my daughter from me, Tristan."

"I'm not like you. I won't take the choice from her. As I was saying, stay away from Macy unless she comes to you. I'll ask her if she wants to speak to you. It's her choice, and you won't force yourself upon her."

"Don't pretend to think you know why I left. You think you've been through hell? I have missed every moment of the last five years of my children's lives. The woman I've loved for thirty years died not knowing who I was, what we shared, or the two lives we created out of love. I've been through hell too."

"You didn't have to leave," I stated through gritted teeth.

"I did. That woman you love out there, do you want to marry her?"

"I told you that was none of your business," I repeated my earlier statement.

"Let's say you do love her. Imagine for a moment that you go to see her one day, and you mention a memory of your first date. She doesn't remember it. You may shrug it off as no big deal and move on without a second thought. One day she leaves your six-year-old daughter on the playground by herself for hours because she forgot that she had brought her there. You get a call at work from the police officer who found her crying on the swings late at night. You have to fight child services to prove you aren't a neglectful parent. Then you have to make the decision to put the woman you love in a hospital so that she has constant monitoring. You go to see her every day. You take her a bouquet of her favorite flowers and play the song that's been yours for twenty years hoping to see her smile.  Instead, she smacks the flowers out of your hand and screams for the nurses that a stranger is in her room. I hope you never experience that, Tristan. I hope that you get to live to a ripe old age with the love of your life. I pray that she remembers every second of your time together. You can call me a coward, and I agree. You're stronger than me, and Macy needed someone strong. Don't begin to think I don't know what kind of pain you've gone through though."

His words stabbed at me. I knew that pain because I'd experience it from a different angle. It didn't justify the fact that he abandoned his two children in my eyes. I couldn't feel sorry for him and forgive him that easily. "I have to go. I need to get back to Macy."

In the cafeteria, Lanie and Macy had their heads together in a serious looking conversation. Macy glanced up at me and ran over to embrace me. I kissed the top of her head and held onto her.  "You ready to go back to the hotel, squirt?"

"Is he coming?" she asked with fear in her eyes.

"No. I told him not to speak to you unless you came to him first. I won't keep you from talking to him if it's what you want, but I won't force you to talk to him either."

"You've been a better dad to me than he would have ever been, Tristan."

My voice caught in my throat as I choked back tears. I struggled to take care of her for the past six years and had always been scared she'd resent me, thinking I hadn't done enough. 

"Why don't we go to the hotel and take advantage of their indoor pool. We need a little relaxation," Lanie suggested.

"Sounds great to me," I replied.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

So many emotions

Macy changed into her swimsuit and grabbed a towel the moment we stepped into the hotel room. "Can I go on down while you guys get ready?"

"Sure, kiddo. I need to talk to Lanie a moment. We'll be down shortly."

The door shut, and I turned to Lanie, who looked concerned. "We need to talk?"

"Talking isn't what I need. I need you," I pulled her against me and pressed my lips to hers. Our mouths moved together as our hands pulled at our clothes. My hands fiddled with the clasp of her bra as my mouth moved to her neck. Lanie's hands moved to my boxers, pushing them down before she moved towards the bed.

Propped above her, I wrapped my arms tightly around her as I left the world of emotional despair and entered her world of ecstasy and love. She rolled over on top of me, and I laid back to enjoy the ride. When we both reached our peaks, she fell forward pressing her face next to mine. Lanie whispered in my ear, "I'm here. Let everything out." I enveloped her in my arms and held her tightly as I released the emotions inside. My chest shook as the sobs came from me.

Her skin felt soft against mine. As I let the emotions out, I ran my hands over her porcelain skin, relishing the feel of her body on top of me. I wanted to get lost in passion with her again instead of feeling this pain. I rolled over and began to make love to her again. She cried out in surprise as I entered her, and the next noise from her mouth was a sigh of pure bliss as we disappeared together again. I grabbed the headboard and held on as I pushed deeper, flew higher.

After the second round, we were both spent.  We lay on our backs gasping for air as we stared at the ceiling. I rolled over and pressed my lips to her shoulder, "I love you, so much, Lanie. I couldn't have gotten through this trip without you here."

"I love you, Tristan. We need to get downstairs to be there for Macy now."

I jumped up, "You're right. I didn’t mean for us to be up here so long."

"You won’t hear me complain," she replied with a wink.

The pool area was pretty loud with a few young kids screaming and splashing. Macy sat in the corner of the deep end talking to another girl that appeared to be her age. She waved us over as we stepped out of our shoes and went to slip into the water. As we approached, the other girl swam away back to her family. "We didn't mean to chase off your friend."

"It's no big deal. She saw me by myself and wanted to chat. She's from Wisconsin, and they're here for the beach and to visit Disney. I told her we were here to see family."

"Have you thought about talking to dad?"

"I don't want to."

"That's enough for me to hear."

Lanie interjected, "While you two were in there talking, I called the funeral home. We are to meet with the director first thing in the morning to start the arrangements. For tonight, why don’t we swim for a bit and then order room service and relax."

The crowd at the pool died down after about an hour, and we took advantage of the empty room to swim for a little while longer. Once our skin started to prune, we decided it was time to head upstairs again.

Room service delivered an hour after we ordered. We had burgers, chicken tenders, fries, and ice cream for dessert. My phone rang in the middle of our meal, another number I didn't recognize but with a Florida area code. I stepped away in case somehow our father had found my number. "Tristan Jacobs," I answered, to avoid the question later.

"Mr. Jacobs, my name is Harvey Windsor. I'm your mother's attorney and the executor of her last will. I'd like to offer my condolences for your mother's passing."

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

"Also, I need to speak with you regarding the details of her will. How long will you be in town?"

"Only for two more days, long enough for the funeral," I responded. The idea that my mother had a will never occurred to me. I can't imagine what assets she might still have to leave for anyone.

"I'm booked pretty solid for the next few days, but I'll have my secretary reschedule a few appointments if you could meet with me tomorrow?"

"Sure." He gave me the address of his office and time that would work out perfectly to where we could go straight there after making arrangements.

Macy's phone rang while I finished up with the attorney. When she finished talking to whoever was on the line, she handed it to me. "It's MJ."

"Hey, Mary Jane."
              "Macy told me about today. I'm sorry, T. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, but thanks. I was on the phone with my mother's attorney when you called. I heard you beep in but couldn’t change over."

"It's fine, sweetie. How's Lanie holding up?"

I stepped out of the room to answer, "She's been a lifesaver, for both Macy and me. She's one of a kind Mary Jane. We've barely been together for long, and this family drama does not spook her. I've been thinking a lot the last couple of days, about the future. I think I'm going to ring shop when I get home. What do you think?"

A loud squeal resonated from the line causing the connection to cut out. "In case that was unclear, I think it's a fantastic idea."

I laughed for the first time in two days. "I love you, MJ."

The door shut behind me, and I turned to see Lanie standing there. "I wanted to make sure you were okay." She must have only heard the last part of the conversation, and I could see the hurt in her eyes.

"I'm good, give me one second," I said to Lanie. Back on the phone, I said, "I'll call you tomorrow if I get the chance, to let you know how things go with the attorney and the funeral home. We'll come see you when we get home too. Take care of yourself."

"You too. Love you, T."

Placing the cell phone in my pocket, I prepared to explain myself to Lanie. Before I could speak, she explained, "It's weird to hear you say you love her because I know the history you have. That being said, it throws me for a loop but I'm not jealous, and I do understand it. Let's move on now."

Again, I felt myself laughing for a change, and it felt good. "Moving on. Mind if we call it a night? I'm exhausted."

"That sounds perfect. Macy's pretty tired too. Her eyelids were heavy during dinner. You both need a good night's sleep."

Macy asked to stay at the hotel the next day while we made the arrangements and spoke with the attorney. I didn't argue with her on the matter. She had been through enough emotional turmoil this weekend already. The director was able to schedule the funeral for the next day. It would be a very small occasion, immediate family only. After details had been finalized, I texted my father with the particulars and added that Macy didn't want to speak with him. He responded stating he would respect our wishes on that matter.

When I arrived at the attorney's office, I expected to find my father sitting there too but he wasn’t. Mr. Windsor welcomed us inside and motioned to the seats in front of his desk. "Are you Mrs. Jacobs?"

"Not yet, this is Lanie, my girlfriend."  I didn’t mean to say not yet; it came out before I could stop myself. Lanie seemed pleasantly surprised at the answer. "When did my mother create this will?"

"After your little sister's birth, she decided to get the genetic testing to determine if she had the signs that could point to Alzheimer's. She had found that it had occurred to several relatives in her genealogy. When her test came back showing a high risk for the disease, she wanted to protect the two of you if something happened to her."

"What about my father?"

"She had strict instructions that if they were divorced then he was to be excluded from any details of these proceedings."

"I don't understand. They seemed happy, why would she assume they'd be divorced?"

Mr. Windsor closed opened a file and pulled an envelope from it. "Inside this envelope is the reason. Your mother had information in here and wanted to leave this with the will including a few other things in the case that he tried to contest the contents."

"Can I see what is inside?"

Lanie placed her hand on top of mine. "Are you sure you want to know? It's obviously something that proves him unfit; he abandoned her in the worse part of her life, do you need more reason to detest the man?"

"Hang on to the envelope in case we need it later. Maybe we'll get lucky, and he'll leave us alone. What's in the will?" I didn’t need material things; I simply wanted this day over with already.

"Your mother set up a trust for you and Macy. You each have a fund with twenty thousand dollars in it. Any bank accounts were to be transferred to you in the event of her death as a divorced woman. The total of her bank accounts adds up to a sum of seventy thousand dollars."

"How did she have all of this money? We grew up cutting coupons, making toys from trash, and wearing hand me downs from cousins. I don’t understand where this came from?"

"Besides being her attorney, I was your mother's friend. She felt that saving for your college and future was more lucrative than giving you expensive toys and clothes as a child. As for the account she held for your father, I believe she hoped he would stick by her in the end. She didn’t want to exclude him if he did. Unfortunately, she gave him more faith than he deserved it seemed. As for Macy, I understand you have custody of her?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then you will be in charge of her inheritance until she turns eighteen."

"Wait, she'll be fifteen soon, but she's in her senior year of high school. She'll be in college before she turns eighteen. Can we use the money for that?"

"My recommendation would be to use the main account and when she turns eighteen, give her control over her money through a bank account at that time. The stipulation shows no access to her account until her eighteenth birthday. Fighting that would probably take more time than it's worth."

"Fair enough. I'm sorry, I don’t know what to say. I'm in shock by this whole thing."

"I understand completely. All I need from you is a few signatures, and I can turn everything over to you once the paperwork is complete. Because your father was named in the will, I have to inform him as to why. He'll be meeting me later today. He asked for a separate meeting for your sake that is a good sign. But, if he decides to contest the will, things could get ugly."

"I understand. Will you call me after your meeting?"

"I will." He stood and extended his hand to me. As I grasped his hand in a firm shake, he stated with sincerity, "Your mother was a good woman. I'm sorry you and Macy didn't have more time with her."

In the car, Lanie reached over to take my hand before I turned the key in the ignition. "Not yet?" she asked with a small hopeful smile.

"You caught that, huh?"

"A little bit. Do you think we're marriage material?"

Bringing her hand to my mouth I gave it a soft kiss, "I hope so."

"Me too," she replied softly.