Confidential (23 page)

I was silent, waiting. My feelings were anxious; I wanted to know what would happen to me already.

"I flew in first thing this morning." Patrick cleared his throat, opening the conversation up.

"Where's Kaiser?" I hadn't seen that old man in ages.

"He's back at the station, we need everyman we can get. Which is why I can only be here for a little while. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I raised an eyebrow, "That's awfully early."

"Yesterday night, we intercepted the trucks, and arrested Mickey." He let the statement hang in the air.

What was I supposed to feel? Relief? Gratitude? Was it wrong that I felt sad? Not yet. I didn't want to leave yet.

"Heidi." I looked up at Anna, the only person who knew. I could tell by the look on her face that she knew.

Detective O'Connor reached his hand out, and patted mine. "You get to go home." He whispered happily, as if he was delivering the greatest news in the world. "You can see your parents again, all your friends, go back to school."

I felt sick, go back to school? To what? I didn't know those people. Not like I knew my friends here. No, those people weren't my friends, that school wasn't my school. And my parents, sure, I wanted to see them. But what would that be like?

"You've done such a great job here." My detective friend went on, "I'm really proud of you. After your testimony, this will all be over, and everything will go back to normal. You've been through a lot, but you have really pulled through. You should be proud of yourself."

I looked up at the pretty face of the detective. Patrick O'Connor. What an Irishman. His dark hair and light eyes held true joy, the weariness that dragged on his whole body seemed to lighten slightly, as if just being able to say that they had finally done it, finally captured Mickey, was a weight being lifted from his shoulders.

"I know that this is
a
lot to take in," He continued to speak in response to my silence, "But we can talk about the trial once you get home. I'm sorry that we have to rush you like this, but me and Anna will help you pack, and we can get everything done in no time…"

I frowned. "Wait. Am I leaving with you?"

He blinked. "Of course. We will have security with us at the airport, just for extra protection. Anna is coming with, as she as done a great job keeping you safe."

Anna wasn't speaking, she just gave me a look of sorrow.

Patrick blabbed on and on about preparations for tomorrow, where I would meet my parents, that they were notified I was safe, my protection once we got back to Phoenix, but I just sat there stunned.

I had one night. One night left until I was gone. What about Dylan and Marcus? What do I tell them? What about Camdon? One night left. I couldn't bare the thought of this.

"What do I tell my friends?" I asked, my eyes had glazed over, as I stared off into space, thinking about how I could tell Camdon I was leaving.

"You can't
tell
them about the case. It must be kept completely confidential, when the trial is over, then you can contact them again." He gave me a serious stare. "Heidi. If you tell them, and for some reason someone finds out, their lives could be endanger. If you really love them, you'd keep them in the dark about this."

I just sat there, letting his words sink in. No way. I shook my head. I needed to get as far away from them as possible.

Anna, the beloved soul she was put a hand on Patrick to quiet him, "You should go say goodbye to your friends. I'll pack; don't worry about it. Or curfew. Just get home."

Patrick looked at us questioningly, noticing our exchange, but not knowing what she was talking about.

I got up silently, and walked past the two sitting figures outside the door. First thing I did was pay Dylan a surprise visit. The walk was a good way to clear my head. The minute he opened up the front door I burst into tears. Dylan was always the more sensitive of the two, I think it had something to do with him having sisters. He immediately pulled me into a hug until I calmed down and I told him that I was leaving tomorrow.

"What?" He looked at me in disbelief. "You're joking. Tomorrow?"

I nodded, tears still running down my cheeks. I hiccupped. "I don't know what to tell you." It was true. I couldn't lie to him, so I just worked my way around talking about my parents coming back.

"Can't you stay for the rest of the year?" He asked a little weakly. "We…we were having a really good time." Dylan finished lamely, the sadness coming from his voice.

"I want to. I want to stay so badly. But I have to take care of some things in Phoenix."

"Like what?" Dylan asked.

I just looked at him pitifully. He seemed to know that I didn't want to talk about it, and I realized why I couldn't help but become friends with him and Marcus. Dylan called Marcus, and he explained to him what I couldn't, and they let me cry.

"Have you told Camdon yet?" Marcus handed me glass of water.

I started to cry
harder
.

"I'll take that as a no." He exchanged a worried glance with Dylan. "Well, what are you doing here?"

"Wh-what?" I asked, my eyes were such a red puffy mess I had to rub them to see him clearly.

"Look, if you think that you're just going to go back to some desert and forget about us, then your delusional. I know, and Dylan knows, that we will be calling you and filling you in on all the boring events of this stupid town. Daily. And you can count on that. Plus, I hear a bunch of the girls are getting their belly button pierced, so I'll have to tell you about all my hookups. And Dylan will probably need some girl advice, as I won't have the time, because they throw themselves at me so willingly."

"I think what Marcus is trying to say, is that your one of our best friends. And it's going to stay that way. You need to go spend your time with Camdon. We get it." Dylan gave me a comforting hug, "Go. Seriously."

"I love you guys." I sniffled.

"I'm visiting, if all the snow isn't gone by next week." Marcus added in.

I smiled, despite my sadness. Seeing these two gave me hope. "Here," I grabbed a pen and paper from inside Dylan's house. "This is my house number, I'll call you guys." I stood still for a moment, before both of them smushed me into one giant hug, and I started crying again.

"Stop crying." Marcus grunted. "You're going to scare the shit out of Camdon. He's going to think you're pregnant or something."

I hit him, and with that, they shoved me onto the street, where I calmed my self down, letting the cool air hit my face.

After I felt like my face was probably somewhere back to normal, I passed by my house quickly, and rushed to Camdon's. Suddenly, all I wanted was to be near him, at least for a little while.

I stood in front of his house, and nervously looked around me, as if I was going to find some type of encouragement. I walked up the sidewalk, and the door opened before I got there.

I expected to see Camdon, but little Ella fluttered out to meet me.

"Hi." She smiled, her voice as soft as ever.

Seeing her little figure again made me want to cry. I used to think kids were some sort of nuisance, until they had reached an actual age of intelligence. And this girl was a little person, with
a
past and a future all her own. I knelt down so I could be at her height.

"Hi," I whispered back.

"What are you doing here? Its late." She stated simply.

"I have to leave tomorrow."

"Why?"

"I promised some people I'd do some things for them."

"Oh." She said. "Will you come back?" Her brown eyes looked at me.

"I want to. But I don't think so. At least not for a while."

Her little face contorted into a frown, "No, you should come back if you want to."

"I'll try." I waited patiently for her to say something else.

"So are you going to say bye?"

I nodded. "I'm going to miss you."

She gave me a short hug, "Come back soon. I won't talk until you do."

I sighed, "Ella, your family would love to hear you talk, you have such a pretty voice."

She shook her head forcefully, "No." Now she sounded like the child I knew she was. "Not unless you come back. You make things better."

I laughed. But she just shook her head again. "Promise me you'll come back. You make Camdon better."

"I promise." I took her hand and led her back inside her house. "He makes me better too you know. Can you go get him for me?"

She nodded and walked off, her small figure disappearing into the darkness. A couple moments later, I heard a frustrated Camdon speak. "What is it Ella?" He sighed loudly, "I know you can talk, just tell me what I'm doing, I'm tired."

He paused at the foot of the stairs. Ella let go of his hand and walked over to me, pulling on me to bend down. "Make things better." And was off before I could even think of a response.

"She does talk to you!" Camdon exclaimed. "What did she say?"

I took
a
moment to memorize him, trying to remember how he looked forever, before I had to break the news to him. While right now, everything was perfect to him, as it was to me a couple hours ago. He was wearing sweat pants and
a
loose shirt, where I could see his lightly defined muscles, and his scruffy brown hair and eyes that could see into my soul. I was going to miss him so much. His kind demeanor, and slight overconfidence, the way he made me laugh, and the way he kisses me whenever he first sees me in the morning. I'm going to miss running with him, and going on walks with him, I'm going to miss his family, but most of all, I think I'll miss being able to talk to him.

I don't know if he'll talk to me after I lied to him so badly. I knew Camdon, and I knew what trust meant to him. He told me about his family, was completely honest with me, but I held back. To him, you can't have a real relationship with someone if you hide who you are. The whole school, his friends, dying to know little details of his life, only for gossip, he would think that I was putting him in that category of people. I could only hope that he understood.

"So…" I began, swallowing my words and starting over. "I have some things to tell you. I was wondering if you would listen."

"Okay…" He gave me strange look. "Is this about that guy at your house today? Because that was kind of weird."

"No. I mean yes… not exactly." I sighed. "It's a long story. Is there
a
place we can go to talk?"

"Uh, yeah. My room?" He suggested, pointing behind him.

I nodded, suppressing the memories of the last time we were alone in his room together, his parents had gone out and Ella was at a friends. I let out a breath, trying to get the heated memory out of my mind.

I sat down on his bed comfortably, already familiar with the inside of his room. He sat down next to me and took one of my hands in his, playing with my fingers absentmindedly.

I hated this. I knew eventually I would have to go back, but I couldn't imagine how I was going to tell him. I owed him the truth, but I didn't know what he would do with it.

"I really like you, you know." I started off saying.

He chuckled in response, "Oh good. I was kind of hoping that that was the case."

"I'm serious!" I couldn't help but smile a little. "Which is the only reason why I'm even considering trying telling you this, even though I shouldn't."