Copper to Red (The Dillwyns' Stories) (11 page)

“Willow, you
look a bit pale.  Are you alright?” Rob politely enquired.

Willow
bristled inside, but didn’t let her reaction show.  Of course she was pale! 
“No, I’m fine Robert,” she replied, also politely, as though they were just
courteous strangers, which she supposed, they now were.  “What brings you back
around here?”

“You.”  He
looked directly into her eyes, his face impassive. 

Willow
shifted slightly in the chair, not quite understanding his reply and feeling
uncomfortable under his unwavering stare.  “Well…I’m not sure what you mean by
that… but…”

“It’s
simple,” he interrupted her babbling, his fingertips banging together.  “I want
you back.”

“Well…um….”
She started spluttering.  It was the last thing she was expecting, having just
divorced him.

“It is
really quite simple Willow.  I realised that I want you.  I want you back in my
life.” 

She watched,
dumb struck, as he picked a bit of thread off his trouser leg, his arrogance
not registering in her stunned state.  His eyes rose to pin her with his look
again.

“I am
patient.  I will wait as long as necessary for you to realise the same.”  A
slightly overconfident smile played on his lips as he stood up and walked to
the door, his voice was gentle.  “I
will
make you happy again Willow, I
will
have you back in my life.”  He gave her a mock salute as he closed the door
behind him.

After the
final shockwave subsided, numbness crept into her.  She registered she should
be angry at his arrogance, but in truth, she wasn’t.  It was a shock to realise
that she still had feelings for him, feelings that she thought had been snuffed
out because she had buried them so deeply.  Her emotions were all clambering to
bubble at the surface, threatening to engulf her again, like a tsunami.  She
shuddered, she had to make a discussion.  Did she want to allow herself to be vulnerable
again?  She put her head in her hands.  She knew Tom was off limits, she now
had to decide whether she would find happiness, with Robert, once again.

~~~~

Between
working and ‘dates’ with Robert, the weeks flew past quickly.   With a cup of
tea in her hand, Willow sat at the table.  She looked around at all the flowers
Rob had sent her.  Her parents had wisely kept their opinions to themselves, they
were not too happy about her seeing Robert, but mainly because they didn’t want
to see her hurt once again.  She didn’t know how she felt about Robert, her
emotions were all over the place.  He had been courteous and charming, like
when they first met, her body definitely responded to him, although she never
allowed him near enough for it to become an issue, and she knew she still loved
him, but she didn’t trust him.  The only concrete emotion she knew was real and
wasn’t confused about, was the pain of losing Tom to Sarah.  She bent to smell
the most recent bunch, red roses, inhaling their scent, trying to stall the
tightening of her chest she always got when she thought of Tom.  Willow really
didn’t want all of these flowers; she just wanted to feel as though she could
trust Rob again.  Talking with him had answered some of her questions, but
something that had surprised Willow, as it had happened without her being
aware, was that time had silently healed some of the hurt Robert had caused her. 

She sipped
her tea, one thing still nagged at her - the feeling that she was merely
playing a part when she was with Rob.  Was she kidding herself that she could
be content with Robert again?  Did she really want to turn the clock back to
before or had meeting and having feelings for Tom made her realise that she
wanted change?   She turned and picked up a vase which contained some wilting
flowers.  While walking towards the kitchen, she silently wished that her once,
young, unconditional love hadn’t wilted like the sad, dying flowers.

~~~~

“That was
a…a…rather strange film,” Willow searched for an adequate word to describe the
film as Robert reached to take her hand in his. He brought it up to his lips to
kiss, which gave her a warm, almost pleasant glow. 

Rob smiled
at her, mischief dancing in his eyes.  “Perhaps I should lock you in a cellar,
with my collection of butterflies, until you realise that you love me!” he
jested.

“But poor
Miranda dies!” she playfully swatted his chest with her free hand.  “The ending
freaked me too, Frederick stalking that nurse,” she shuddered. “Yuk.  I suppose
they are going to make another film…”

Rob’s face
looked thoughtful.  “No, I don’t think so.  I think John Fowles only wrote
The
Collector
, I don’t think he has written a sequel. But you never know…” 

“Oh, I hope
not!  I prefer love stories.” Willow’s smile froze when she realised what she
had inferred.

“So do I,”
Robert whispered, looking directly into her eyes.  Wrapping his arms around her
waist, he gently pulled her towards him, his head slowly descending towards her
lips, to place a soft kiss on them.

Willow felt
the warmth of his breath before the kiss.  If felt comforting and pleasant, not
earth shattering, but enjoyable.  She had not encouraged Rob at all with his
affections; she was just letting it move at a slow pace, which suited her for
now and he didn’t seem to be pushing her.  She turned out of his embrace,
taking his arm.  Smiling up at him, they started to walk away from the cinema,
talking about the film they had just watched.  Unaware of her environment,
Willow suddenly smacked into something solid, her breath being momentarily
knocked out of her.

“Hey, take
it easy.  You walked into my wife!”  Robert barked at the man standing in front
of them.

Before
Willow had the chance to comprehend that Rob had called her, ‘his wife’, she realised
it was Tom that she had bumped into.  Her heart landed in her toes.  He looked
as stunned as her. 

Tom broke
the silence first.  “Sorry Willow.”  He gaze quickly flicked over her face.  He
realised that she looked a little pale and gaunt.  He cursed silently, hoping
that he wasn’t, but knowing he was the cause.  Tom had never wanted to hurt
her.  He looked towards Robert, who had a protective arm wrapped around
Willow.  Jealousy tore through Tom, he squashed it, knowing he had no right to
feel that emotion.  Recognising Robert as the ex-husband who had badly hurt
her, he had to squash every fibre that was telling him to punch him in the
face.

“That’s
okay,” Willow faltered.  “We didn’t see you either.”  She smiled towards Sarah
who was silently taking in the scene.  Willow turned slightly, uncomfortable
with Robert’s tight, possessive hold on her.  “Robert, this is Tom Dillwyn, you
must remember him from school?  And Sarah Davies.”  She smiled towards Sarah,
who acknowledged Rob with a half-hearted smile.  “Congratulations are in order too
as they are getting married next week.”  Willow felt Robert release his embrace
slightly, obviously happy now that Tom was not a threat.  She watched as Robert
held out his hand to shake Tom’s hand. 

“Yes, I remember
you.  You had a brother, Michael and a sister, Ria?”

“Yes, that’s
right.” Tom replied politely.  Willow noticed that his smile was not as easy
going as usual.

“What are
they both up to now?”  Willow silently wished Robert would stop chatting as if
they were friends.  It was silently destroying her standing so near to Tom and
not touching him.

“Michael is
still working down the mines with my father.  Ria is married now with two
children.”  Tom responded to the question.

A movement made
by Sarah made Willow look towards her.  At the mention of children, Sarah had
put a protective hand on her stomach.  Willow felt the pain, almost physically
making her legs buckle.  With that one gesture of impending motherhood, reality
slammed into her with full force.  Putting aside the strong feeling of
jealousy, Willow clearly understood that she would never trust Robert enough to
ever consider having a baby with him.  She knew it was finally over.

Chapter 14

Emma and
Willow arrived at the church gates.  “Are you sure you want to go in Willow?” 
Emma questioned, concerned for her friend.  Willow had been through a rough
time of it lately, with both the rejection from Tom and the ending of her
relationship, again, to Robert.  She touched Willow’s arm gently, noticing that
Willow had a glazed expression on her face.  She watched her friend take an
intake of breath.

“Yes, I’m
sure.  I need to go in.”  Willow looked into Emma’s eyes for support.  “I need
to have closure from both Robert and Tom.  I need to see Tom married to Sarah
so I can start to move on with my life.”  She gave a wavering smile and started
walking towards the church doors, gently tugging her friend with her.

The small
church was packed with family and friends, Emma and Willow slipped into the
back pew.  Willow noted all Tom’s family sitting on the front pews.  She was suddenly
glad of her position; she would be able to slip out if she needed to.  All
around people were acknowledging each other with quiet hellos and nods, the
church having a way of tempering people’s normal voices. 

Willow’s
eyes were drawn to Tom’s suited back.  She couldn’t see his face and was
silently thankful.  She didn’t know how she would react if he looked at her, or
how she would react if he didn’t.  Michael was standing next to him, as broad
and tall as his brother, only his hair was a little lighter.  Willow sighed, if
only it was Michael, who was unattached, that stirred her blood the way his
brother did.  But he didn’t. 

Willow
jumped when the organist started to play the Bridal March.  Emma placed her
hand over Willow’s clasped ones in a silent sign of support.  Everyone hushed
and slowly stood, looking towards the back, waiting for the bride.  Willow
needed to calm herself before looking at the bride, she didn’t honestly know if
she could look at Sarah.  Her eyes slid towards the front first.  A sharp
intake of breath followed when she caught Tom’s gaze.  He looked straight at
her, before tearing his eyes away to look at the door.  Her heart dropped to
her toes.

Tom knew
Willow was there, he knew when she had arrived; he just felt it in his blood. 
He could sense when she was looking at him.  He couldn’t turn around, he
couldn’t look at her, it was his wedding day!  There were enough gossipmongers
already sitting in the pews, only there to see if Sarah was really pregnant, no
doubt.  He didn’t need them knowing about his feelings for Willow too.  Since
bumping into her after the cinema, he couldn’t get her out of his mind.  During
the day, he had to consciously think of something else to distract himself. 
Night time was the worst, when he had no control over his dreams which Willow
haunted. 

He exhaled,
the constant battle to do what he knew he should, and what he wanted, was
wearing him down, his only hope was when he was married and the baby arrived,
his feelings for Willow would diminish.  He briefly scanned the pews, wishing
he had been able to persuade Sarah to go to the Registry office to get married
instead, he was really uncomfortable with all the gossips.  He rolled his
shoulders, he wanted to protect his future wife and baby from the stresses, but
Sarah seemed to want to stand up to it.  Sarah told him she always wanted a
church marriage and pregnant or not, that is what she would have. 

He sighed
and fidgeted, annoyed again.  Angry that his longing for Willow hadn’t dimmed
over the months, he reminded himself again that he could not, and would not, do
anything about it.  Sarah deserved him to be faithful to her and he would be. 
Whatever he wanted did not matter, Sarah and the baby would come first.   

He took a
deep breath before he turned around to welcome his future wife, determined not
to look in Willow’s direction.  His gaze locked onto hers, she was like a
magnet to him.  Annoyed with himself for searching her out, he tore his gaze
away from her; he wasn’t being fair on any of them.

The church
door opened and Sarah’s father walked in, flustered.  Hushed murmurs started
getting louder around the church, everyone wondering why Sarah wasn’t on his
arm.  Everyone’s eyes watched Dai Davies make his way towards Tom.

Dai turned
to the Minister, “Can I have a word with Tom privately in the back please?”

“Of course,”
stuttered the Minister, as confused as everyone else.

Willow
watched Mr Davies, Tom, Michael and their Dad make their through to the back. 
“Emma, I’m going.  I shouldn’t have come.”  She whispered so only her friend
could hear.

Emma looked
at her with knowing eyes, “Okay, I’ll stay and find out.  I’ll pop around
later.”

Willow slid
off the pew and through the door unnoticed, every ones’ eyes glued to the
vestry door.

~~~~

Tom paced
back and fore on the already worn carpet in Sarah’s parents’ house.  His jaw
was clenched nearly as tight as his fists.  He forced himself to unwind a
little, he needed a clear head to even start working out what had just
happened.  He studied her, she looked as though she wanted the chair to swallow
her up. “Christ Sarah.  How could you do this?” He waited and watched, but had
no answer. “How could you let it go so far?”  He slumped down on the chair
opposite, his anger evaporating when he saw her tear streaked face.  “Just
explain…that is all I ask.” Tom muttered, suddenly feeling very defeated.