Copper to Red (The Dillwyns' Stories) (8 page)

Willow
sighed, feeling deflated.  She had enjoyed the physical side in her marriage with
Robert, but they had both been virgins until their wedding, so it was never
‘top of the list’, so to speak.  It had always given her a warm, loved
feeling.  But making love with Tom had made her feel hot, wanted and confused. 
She rolled her eyes, Tom had evoked a fountain of unexplored feeling in her
with his kisses and the things he did to her body.  But then, she reasoned, he
would - he had enough experience with women! 

Jealousy
tore through her and she realised with a start, that she loved Tom.  For all
her rationalising about his reputation, about keeping away from him, about just
using him for occasional sex, she had fallen for him; hook, line and sinker. 
Willow groaned, he had been easy to stay away from when he was on the other
side of the bar, he was just another customer, alright a very handsome customer
to swoon slightly over, but essentially, another customer. It was only when he
helped at the pub that she actually got to see what Tom was really like.  And
she liked him.  That complicated the situation immensely. 

It was then
that it struck her - it was
her
that her anger was directed at, not
him!  She had
sworn
after Robert that she would never get hurt again,
and she had, again!  And to top it all, it was with Tom Dillwyn, who held on to
the same woman like someone held onto sand – he couldn’t!  She sighed deeply,
her anger subsiding slightly now she had started to understand some of her
strong emotions battling inside her.  She had been angry at
herself
for
falling for Tom, someone that she could
never
trust not to hurt her. 
She had put all her trust and love into her relationship with Rob, and if she
couldn’t trust him, she knew that she couldn’t trust someone like Tom. 

She realised
with a start that she also couldn’t do the casual relationship either, so her
best option was to stay well clear of him.  Let him think she was still angry;
it was easier than admitting she loved him! 

An hour
later, she turned and beat her pillow with her fist.  Crumbs, what a mess.  She
let the tears flow, as the tension started to flow out of her, as sleep
followed.

“Fancy a
pint down the Red Lion with me and Dad?”  Michael enquired, wondering what the answer
would be, but the way Tom had been acting lately, he was expecting a negative
in reply.  Michael noticed that he hadn’t been to the local for a week now.

“No thanks,
not tonight.  I… I um…”  Tom was trying to think of an excuse that might sound
plausible.  He would never admit to anyone that it hurt him to see Willow.  Hell,
he couldn’t even admit it to himself!

“Have to
wash your hair?”  Michael teased.

“Very funny!
“

“Staying in
to watch Coronation Street with Mam?” Michael carried on.

“Yeh, yeh.” 
Tom got up from the kitchen table to take his mug to the sink. “No, I’m trying
to cut down on my drinking.  I’ve been going to the Red Lion too much lately. 
I’m listening to Mam.”

“That’s a
first!” came the reply from the larder.  Meg was in there getting the jams out
ready for breakfast tomorrow.  After many arguments, Meg had accepted the gift
of a fridge from Morgan and Ria, but she still preferred her old fashioned
larder.  She knew that Ria loved giving them presents, she could certainly
afford them now since she had married into the Templeton family, but Meg still
had a strong proud streak within her.  She and Evan had struggled for money for
most of their married life on his miner’s pay packet.  But in her opinion, they
had never gone without.  Megan smiled, she knew Ria was only trying to help
them as she loved them and the new carpet upstairs certainly looked lovely.  She
found the jam she was looking for and re-entered the kitchen.  “Tom, I’ve
noticed you haven’t been going out lately. Nothing wrong is there love?”  A
small frown joined the fine lines that had started forming on her forehead.   Actually,
now she thought of it, she was worried about her oldest boy.  Tom had always
gone through life with a smile on his face and a joke on his lips.  He never
seemed to get down about anything.  Goodness, it had Tom who had been the solid
rock when they had lost Johnny.  Meg took an intake of breath to stop the tears
that always threatened when she thought of Johnny.  Tom had been devastated,
like them all, but he had made it all right to laugh again, reminding them all
how much Johnny loved laughter. 

When Meg
thought about it, she had never been overly worried about her eldest child.  Tom
got himself into problems at times, the worst being that fiasco when he didn’t
tell Ria about Morgan’s phone calls.  Everything always seemed to come all right
in the end for him.  Meg sighed, he was a good boy even then, he hadn’t told
Ria about the phone calls as he thought Morgan had hurt her, so he was
protecting her, or so he thought.   No, something was up with him and being his
mother, she would eventually get to the bottom of it!

~~~~

Meg watched
the end credits of
The Saint. 
She rose up from the chair to switch off
the television, conscious that Tom was still seemly staring into space.

“Simon
Templer was busy tonight wasn’t he?  Oh, I do like that Roger Moore, he’s a
good actor isn’t he?”

All she got
from Tom was a grunt.  Time to try another approach.  Trying to look as though
you weren’t interfering was hard for a mother sometimes.

“I’m going
to make a pot of tea ready for when your father and Michael come home from the
pub.”  Meg noticed a little flicker.  Was it when she mentioned the pub?  Interesting. 
“Do you want one…?”  She sat next to him on the sofa and placed her hand on his
knee.  She looked at her small hand on his knee, he certainly wasn’t her little
boy anymore.  “…Now that you are off the beer?”  Meg smiled a knowing smile, he
smiled back, he knew he couldn’t fool his mother, she knew him too well. 

“Yes please
Mam. I’d love one.  Where’s Anne tonight?  I thought
The Saint
was her
favourite programme.”

Meg patted
his knee and pushed on Tom’s leg, its support helping her up.  “She’s gone to
the Plaza cinema with her friends.  Do you know it’s closing tonight?  Shame,
your father and I used to go courting there.  I do hate it when they close
things down, but they call it progress.  ”

~~~~

Willow gazed
towards the table that Tom usually vacated, his father and brother sat there
with a couple of others, but Tom was absent again.  She heaved a sigh of frustration;
he hadn’t been in for a while now.  It was the last thing she wanted to have
happened.  She felt a faint blush of shame, her actions after they made love
still something that she wasn’t proud of, not that she could have done anything
different at the time with all her emotions raging.  She had plenty of time to
think the whole situation over. It was at herself she had angry with, mainly
for succumbing to her own urges.  She needed a chat with him, but unless he
came in, there wasn’t much she could do.  Never one to back away from
apologising when she needed, she knew that if he didn’t come to the pub, she
would go to his house to apologise.  Hopefully, they could go back to what they
had before the ‘stockroom’ incident.

Willow hesitated,
her knuckles wavering as she took a steadying breath and knocked the door.  Her
stomach lurched and she felt it tighten as she felt nervous.  She mentally
crossed her fingers, hoping he wouldn’t send her away, tail between her legs,
which in reality he had every right to do.  Reprimanding herself, she quickly reminded
herself that she was here to apologise, not to cause any problems.  Anyway,
they were adults she reasoned, they could overcome is hurdle and hopefully be
friends again, she did miss the banter she had with Tom. 

Willow
nearly jumped out of her skin when the door opened quickly, Tom standing there taking
up nearly all of the space.  Her stomach lurched, she was amazed at the instant
reaction her body had to him, she obviously wasn’t as immune to him as she
thought, the hope that time would heal fading instantly.  This ‘friends’ thing
might be tougher than she originally assumed.

Tom
continued wrapping the scarf around his neck while silently looking at Willow
standing in front of him.  He wasn’t expecting anyone to be standing on the
other side of the door as he hadn’t heard a knock.  Mind you, that wasn’t surprising
as Anne had
‘Stop in the Name of Love’
blaring out on the radio. He
smiled ironically at the song, quite apt at this particular moment.  He waited patiently
for Willow to speak, unsure what to expect as he watched her face quickly turn
from one of shock into a cheerful smile.  He remained impassive not going to
make it too easy on her.  Anyway, after his last encounter with her he wasn’t
quite sure if that sugar sweet smile contained an angry bite.

“Hi Tom,
sorry are you going out?”  Willow quickly enquired, noting his coat.  She noticed
a fleeting shard of compassion in his green eyes.  She took a breath, hope appearing;
perhaps they could sort things out.

“Yes, I’m on
my way to Singleton Park for a kick around with the boys.”  He watched her face
fall slightly.  He wanted her to hurt a little, like he had, but it wasn’t in
his nature to make anyone suffer.   “Do you want to walk with me?   It’s on
your way home.”  He wasn’t mad with her any more, the time apart had seeped
that feeling away.  It was a shock for Tom to comprehend at first, but he
realised that he wanted more than just a ‘roll in the hay’ with Willow.  When
they had made love, he had wanted to cuddle her, to wake up with her in the
morning.  At the time, when she reacted so badly to him, he was hurt and shocked,
becoming defensive and angry himself to hide his feelings.  Only after, did he
understand he really liked Willow and would have liked a relationship with
her.  That was the reason he had stayed away from the pub, hoping that some
distance might have dampened his feelings, feelings that clearly were not
reciprocated.  Looking at her now, he knew he felt the same, regardless of how
she felt about him.  He was sad at the situation they found themselves in,
uneasy with each other.  He wanted the easiness back.

“Yes, yes of
course.”  Willow took a breath to calm her nerves, still unsettled at how
affected she was when she initially saw him.  She hadn’t been expecting such a
reaction.  Over the time that he stayed away, she had convinced herself that
she didn’t really love him, it had just been a bit of a knee jerk reaction
after they had made love.  Now she wasn’t so sure.  She jumped when he placed
his arm through hers.

“Come on,
the boys are waiting.”

~~~~

Willow had
decided not to go home but to stay to watch the men playing football.  She rubbed
her cold hands together and then cupped them around her mouth, shouting
encouragement towards the football match.  Jumping up off the bench, she tried
to stamp her cold feet back into life too, the Spring weather still had a nip
to it.  She noticed Tom score a goal and after ‘high fives’ off his team mates,
he turned towards her to give her a toe curling smile, which definitely warmed
her blood up.

After the
match finished and everyone drifted away, Willow and Tom made their way to
Brynmill Park, chatting comfortably, forgetting the previous awkwardness.  They
walked around the pond, amused at the ducks searching for the bread which
people were throwing to them.  They passed the captive birds, Willow sticking
her fingers in her ears when the parrots started squawking at them.  Arm in arm
they walked steadily around the curving path in conversation. 

Suddenly,
Willow saw a movement.  Screaming, she jumped into Tom’s arms, as she spotted a
rat scurrying along the edge of the water.  Once the shock of seeing a rat had
passed, she was very aware of the stirring feelings that being in Tom’s arms
were evoking, her mind automatically transporting her back to their previous
encounter, embarrassingly she found her body responding.  She pulled away
quickly before he noticed, desperate to get away from his warm breath as it
tickled her ear.  The surge of emotions at being so close to him had alarmed
her.  Willow brushed her hands down her clothes, anything to stop her from
grabbing him, his hands still lightly holding her arms.  When she had calmed
slightly she looked up into his green eyes and caught the supressed amusement
in them, she burst into laughter.

“It won’t
hurt you, look how big you are to it!”  Tom stifled a laugh as he held onto her
arms gently and nodded to the place where the rat had been.  He noticed how
quickly she had jumped out of his embrace, but didn’t mention it.  It tore
through him, he wanted her to choose to be near him, he desperately wanted her,
but it needed to be her choice this time.  He loosened his hold but he couldn’t
quite let her go altogether, he still held her arms. 

“Oh I’m
sorry, it scared me!”  Hysterics catching her, she couldn’t stop giggling.  Her
laughter was so contagious that they both ended doubled up, oblivious to the
stares they were getting from passing strangers.  Once Willow could find the
breath to speak again, she spluttered, “Did … you see…the rat’s face? 
Pure…evil it was!”  A fit of giggles erupted again as tears started streaming
down her face. 

Tom felt
loose and untroubled after laughing with Willow.  He watched as a tear of
laughter fell out of the corner of Willow’s hazel eyes.  He automatically
reached out to wipe it away with his thumb as his smile faded on his lips, his
heart clenched as his body stiffened, damn he wanted her.