Corrupted (14 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

June 10th 2014

It has been a couple of days since I last spoke to, and saw Damon. He’s usually gone before I wake and not back until I’ve already fallen asleep. The hormones in my body make taking the distance hard. I’m more confused now than ever. My s
tupid emotions are running high, the slightest thing makes me want to cry. The hardest part is being alone all the time.

The distance has helped me to think clearly, I see why I was doing this, why I had to do this. I can’t let any feelings I gained over the last few weeks sway me from what I am here to do. Damon clearly doesn’t want me here now. He’s avoiding me, avoiding being home
, so he doesn’t have to deal with me.

I really thought we could build something together. I really thought I could let go of the past but finding out I’m carrying his baby, a baby that shouldn’t be able to live in the first place, has helped put things in perspective.

I move to the living room to do a yoga workout DVD. I’m too stressed, I need to relax. I insert the DVD and move to lie flat on the floor. I face the ceiling and take a few deep breaths to relax my body.

Damon was an arse the other night. He ignores me just because I spoke to Tom. Jealousy definitely doesn’t suit him. Spending his night showering Leona with his attention instead of me as some sort of punishment was pathetic. It didn’t work. All it did was make me realise how immature he is. How he acts when
he doesn’t get his own way. He doesn’t want children and he definitely isn’t acting his age and not ready for a surprise baby. He is not ready for this.

Hell, I’m not sure I’m ready for this.

I put my hand on my flat stomach. But who am I to take a life? This jellybean has a heartbeat now. It’s a living thing. It’s part of me. Part of Lydia and dad in a way. It would mean I would never be alone again. I would have family again. I have a family. Tears fill my eyes. This jellybean is my family now.

I shift position accordingly, lost in my thoughts. How could I even think about abortion? I would never be able to do that. Having PCOS meant I never really considered being in this situation.

The front door opening breaks me out of my thoughts. I’m in the upside down dog pose and I freeze. My head turns towards the door while I wait to see if Damon comes looking for me. I hear mumbled voices but can’t tell whose. I strain my ear to listen harder but it doesn’t help.  

After a few minutes when I no longer hear them, I switch off the TV and head towards the kitchen to get a drink. I have only walked a couple of steps when I hear the voices coming from Damon's office.

Turning in that direction, I walk as quietly as I can towards the door which has been left slightly ajar. As I get closer I recognise the voices as Damon and his brother, Spencer.

Spencer is asking Damon a question that I can’t quite fully hear, Damon's smooth voice floats to my ears, “No, we are not together,” he pauses “Me and Ella, it’s.... complicated.” He sighs. I’m about to turn around and leave when I hear Spencer speak up.

“Why is it complicated? You’re either together or you’re not. And if you’re not, well I wouldn’t mind...” He leaves his sentence hanging.

“Stay the fuck away from her. She may not be mine, but she sure as fuck ain’t ev
er gonna be yours,” Damon replies, his voice sounding livid. Deathly calm. Silence descends. I hold my breath.

My heart rate picks up, I need to move from the door. If one of them storms out I’m going to be caught listening in.

“Lose the smirk,” Damon says irritably.

I try to turn as quietly as possible and trip. I stumble forward, trying to regain my balance only to face plant into the door.

I fall to my hands and knees just past the threshold of Damon’s office door. I take a deep breath before looking up to find two sets of eyes staring down at me in surprise.

“Oh my God. I’m sorry... I’m so sorry,” I stutter. “I heard voices so I came to see who it was, but I tripped.” My cheeks blaze with embarrassment. “I’m... Sorry,” I finish, lamely.

Neither Damon nor Spencer speaks as I ramble on. I rest back on my heels to look at them, only to realise why they haven’t replied. They have the perfect view of my tits, bouncing, in my tight sports bra as I animatedly apologised.

I jump to my feet taking a moment to compose myself. Walking over to Spencer, I press up against him while bending down to give him a kiss on the cheek, refusing to meet Damon's eyes. I bring out my inner sultry side and only focus on Spence.

“Spencer, it’s so good to see you.” I give him a seductive smile. “Why didn’t you call? I thought we were going to.... make plans?” I had to stifle a laugh as heat rose in Spencer's face, painting his cheeks pink.

“Erm, yeah. Sorry. I...” he stammers. “I meant to call but...” he trails off as he was looking frantically between me and Damon. I know I’m putting him on the spot. I feel a slight twinge of guilt before I shake it off.

I cross my arms over my chest which causes my breasts to push together and nearly pop completely out of my bra. “But what, Spencer?” I wait a second before speaking again. “Do you not want to... have dinner... with me?” I run my fingernail down his arm, from shoulder to wrist and give him a sweet smile. His eyes light up with merriment before flashing to Damon.

I still haven’t looked at Damon but I can feel his eyes boring into my back, his rage, rolling off him in waves, so palpable I can feel it in the tension surrounding us. 

Good. He is jealous.

“Ok Ella,” Spencer’s voice is filled with mirth. “Would you like to go to dinner with me?” I force a smile to my lips before replying.

“See, that wasn’t so hard now was it? Of course I would love to go to dinner with you. How does tonight sound?” Spencer nodded his head ‘Perfect, why don’t you pick me up at seven thirty?’

Spencer agrees with a nod, a grin plastered on his face. I turn on my heel ready to leave the room
. I felt elated that I am getting back on track, but then I see the look on Damon's face. The look of pain in his eyes is almost enough to make me double over in pain myself.

I want to run to him wrap him in my arms and tell him everything will be ok
ay. I want to take back what I’ve just done but then I remember I had caused that look in his eyes, and I had done it for a reason and I wasn’t giving up now.

I practically r
an out of the room, desperate to get away from his hurt. When I am outside the office I lean up against the wall trying to steady my breath.

“Why the fuck did you agree to that? What the fuck are you playing at?” Damon yells. “You’re my fucking brother. You know how I feel about her. Cancel it, Spencer. Now.” Damon’s voice finishes deathly quiet. 

“No Damon, I won’t. You have made it clear that you and Ella are just friends. I’m gonna take the chance on her... unless you give me a good enough reason why I shouldn’t?” There is nothing but silence that follows. Minutes go by when I hear Spencer speak again. “That’s what I thought Damon.”

I hear footfalls walking towards the door so I hide around the corner, waiting, as Spencer walks to the door. He pauses, “Maybe it’s time to get your head out your arse, brother, or someone may actually swoop in and steal her right from u
nder your nose. She is worth it. Don’t fuck it up.” With that he shuts Damon’s office door and leaves. When I hear the front door slam I let out the breath I had been holding.

All of a sudden I hear a loud crash, as something, sounding like glass, hits the wall in Damon's office followed by a roar. The sounds break my heart. He sounds broken.

I thought this is what I’ve wanted but I feel no happiness in hurting him.

****

April 9th 2011

I met Spencer today. He’s an arse. Acting like he’s a god in front of his mates. Taking the piss out of me when I said I’m Damon’s girlfriend. Yeah well I’ll prove him wrong.

Damon will have to drop Leona out his life when we get married. No way am I having that bitch around. She likes to think Damon is hers but he’s not. He’s MINE!

Spencer will need an attitude adjustment too if he thinks he can treat me like shit. I’ll be his sister in law soon. He better get used to me or he’ll be out too!!

I don’t know why Lydia thought Spencer was an arsehole. I like him. He’s nice. I put the diary away and get ready for our business dinner.

CHAPTER TWENTY
-SIX

This isn’t a date. I know Spencer picked up on my plan. This is a business dinner. Damon needs a kick in the arse and I’m hoping this will be it. We can kill two toads with one stone. Both are unpleasant.

I’ve heard Damon slamming things downstairs all evening. Today is the first time I’ve seen him in a few days and it looks like tonight will be the time to talk. I know he’s waiting down there for me.

It’s a quarter after seven, I’m dressed and ready to go. I’ve not dressed up. This is casual business. If I’m honest I’ve dressed casual because I don’t want Damon to think I’m dressing up for his brother. I just want him to admit he was wrong.

Wearing black trousers paired with a white and black spotted blouse finished with black heels makes me look professional. I’ve done my hair in a side fishtail plait and added a splash of makeup.

It’s time to face the music, or Damon, in my case. If he can say sorry I’ll let him know exactly what the dinner with Spence is tonight. I just want him to see that he can’t play those games. I know I’m playing the exact same game, but mine is to make him see it can’t be like that.

Making my way downstairs I check I have my phone in my bag, not watching where I’m going, and run smack bang into a wall of muscle. Damon’s hands grasp my waist to steady me. He doesn’t let go even as I step back.

“Don’t go, Ella. Stay with me,” Damon says looking disheveled. His suit jacket is undone, his shirt untucked slightly, the purple tie around his neck is loosened, hair wild, eyes stressed. He looks a sexy rumpled mess. Damon’s hands come up to rest on my shoulders. “Don’t go, beauty. I fucked up.”

“What did you fuck up, Damon?”

“I should have come after you. Should have spoken to you sooner. I’m sorry that I didn’t. I’ve been so busy with work.” I stare at him in disbelief, my eyes wide.

“So you’re only sorry about me leaving the club? Not about how you acted. Not about how much of a prick you were?” I laugh at his audacity. Obviously he doesn’t get it. I shake my head before continuing. “Damon, you changed everything to a game Friday night.”

“Beauty, we both acted wrong that night. The way you spoke to Leona was uncalled for. She was only asking you questions and you bit her head off.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Are you seriously that blind to her behaviour? She was goading you, Damon. She knew you were pissed about me dancing with Tom and she played on it. You fell right for it.”

“Ella,” he sighs, “you’re overreacting. That wasn’t Leona’s purpose. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Are you so fucking blind that you don’t see it Damon? What she’s doing? What she’d been doing all night? She wants you.”

“It’s not like that with me and Leona. Not anymore.”

“Are you sure about that?” I snap.

“She means nothing to me, Ella. Nothing. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Whatever, Damon.” I step around him and walk away. He needs more time for things to sink in. It won’t be like that if we’re going to be together. He’s not acting nearly mature enough to be in a committed relationship
, let alone be a father. I really need to think things through. I have my baby to put first now.  

“Don’t go, beauty. Let me keep you,” he calls after me. My step falters, my breath hitching before I regain my balance. “We won’t be able to come back from this.” I don’t reply to him. He needs to see things for what they are. I won’t let him punish me for something I haven’t done.

I leave the house, shutting the door quietly behind me. I’d rather meet Spencer at the gates than wait another minute with Damon. He makes me so mad. How can he be so clueless? Especially when it comes to Leona, her friends, and all their true love bullshit.

I walk the long driveway. Just as I near
them the sound of the gates opening brings my head up. Spencer is parked at the gates, but spotting me he sits waiting. I make my way to his car and slip in the passenger seat.

“Damon’s not taking this well,” Spencer says. It’s not a question it’s a statement. He knows his brother well.

“No. He just doesn’t get it. He’s only sorry that I left the club, not what happened in the club. I’m not going to be punished for something I haven’t done.”

“Punished?” Spencer frowns.

“Maybe that’s the wrong word. All I know is Damon ran off to save Leona, as usual. I danced with Tom, got accosted by Sharn on Leona’s behalf. Leona was being her lovely charming self and goading Damon, he took the bait and ignored me. Then when I decide to stand up for myself I get a growl off Damon to top it off.” Spencer’s eyes are wide when I finish my mini rant.

“Fuck,” he mutters more to himself than me.

“Fuck, indeed.”

“I’m sorry, Els. That couldn’t have been nice.” He looks at me in the eyes. “You know he really likes you right?”

“He has a funny way of showing it,” I grumble.

“Ella, how much of the past has Damon told you?” The question is so unexpected that my head whips around to focus on Spencer. I’ve read what I can about Damon but he’s a very private person and I know
, I know
, he has a past I haven’t yet uncovered.

“Nothing.” I let out a sigh. “He said he would talk he just needed time. I’m beginning to realise he has more baggage then I thought.”

“No shit,” he says so quietly that I’m not sure I was meant to hear him. “Listen, Ella. Damon has had some... bad shit... happen to him. Shit he blames himself over. Shit he holds on to. You’re the first person I’ve seen Damon start to let in.”

“Am I? I’m sure Leona is already up there, Spencer. I’m not into sharing and I sure as shit won’t take the hate spouted from her mouth. Maybe it’s just best to end things now before it all becomes too complicated.” As I say the words I realise I mean them. Maybe it is time to just forget the past, move on with my baby and start living before it becomes even more complicated. Tears fill my eyes. Stupid hormones.

“No,” Spencer all but shouts. “Ella, Damon needs you. Seeing him with you makes me see my brother Damon. Not the businessman Damon, or the weighed down with baggage Damon. I see my brother again. I’m not the only one who’s noticed it, Els. We all have. You bring him back to himself. You’re good for him.” My brimming eyes overflow, my tears falling down my cheeks. “Shit, sorry, Els. I’m not doing to good am I?”

Spencer pulls me towards him to hold me across the gearstick
. I take a deep breath to gather myself. Pulling back I wipe my eyes and give him a watery smile. I am so not being professional right now. “Can we drop this subject now?”

“Yes. Ok
ay. Sure... let’s go grab a bite to eat and a drink and we’ll talk business.” He throws me a wink causing me to laugh. “Good job I cottoned on. At first I thought Damon was going to climb over the desk to maul me. This should be a good kick up the arse.” His face turns sombre. “Just stick by him Ella. I promise he’s worth it. I haven’t seen my real brother in a long time. It’s sure nice to see him resurfacing. Just don’t give up on him yet.” He gives me a soft smile before pulling out onto the road and driving us away from Damon’s house.

****

I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much. Spencer’s banter is all part of his charm. He is a breath of fresh air. My ribs and cheeks hurt from laughing so much. We decided to eat at Tony’s. It’s a local pub with a friendly atmosphere.

Not being able to drink I went for a lemonade when Spence ordered a beer for himself. He looked at me for a minute longer than necessary, questions swirling in his eyes. I make an excuse up that I want to be clear headed to speak with Damon when we leave. That seemed to appease him a little.

It also led to a whole conversation about explaining what happened at the club, speaking to Damon about Leona, and giving Damon a chance. Spencer loves his brother. That’s easy to see in the way he speaks of Damon.

The conversation also makes me realise that Damon and I can work things out. We can get past this and have a future together. I will have a lot of explaining to do. I can’t expect Damon to tell me his past if I can’t tell him mine. I just hope it’s not bad enough that Damon will decide I’m not worth it. I’d prefer to not tell him everything I’ve done in the past but I know I’ll have to eventually.

“So, party planning. Damon mentioned that you’ve done it before and would know the ins and outs of what I’d need to look into?” My mind goes into party planning mode. I’ve always loved organising things and party planning is the best type of planning in my opinion.

“Yes. Your idea is great, Spencer, but it will take a lot to change a whole hotel for each individual party. Investing in items for themes that will be common would be wise but for the stranger requests you’d have to offer quotes. Some requests will be hard to organise, and quoting would be your only option. It will cost a lot to do what you want but it’s not impossible with the right people and money behind you.”

“Money is not an issue but finding the right people is. I’m hoping I’ve found one already?” he looks hopefully at me. I laugh. With a baby on the way I know I wouldn’t be able to help him too much in the long run but I could assist him in finding the right people.

“Spence, I think this is great what you’re proposing but me alone isn’t going to make your vision a reality. Plus I’m not sure how wise it is to be jumping into something like this when things with Damon and I are so up in the air.”

He waves my comment away with a flick of his wrist. “You and Damon will be all good. Everything will work out. I need someone who knows what they’re doing and can get it done. Someone who can tell me that what I’m planning will work. Do you think it’s possible?” I think for a minute before giving him my honest answer.

“I think putting together some packages at the beginning would be your best bet. If options are there already you’ll more than likely sway people in the direction of doable events rather than the option of whatever they want. You could always move further into offering them whatever they want once you’ve got this venture up and running. I definitely think it’s doable, Spence.”

“Good. We’ll talk more at a later date. You ready to head back?” I nod suddenly feeling nervous. I want Damon. That’s not an issue. I know I do but I’m not sure how we’re going to be able to get round all our baggage. Plus I’m not sure how he’s going to take the issue of me being pregnant when he claims to not want children. “Everything will be ok, Ella,” Spencer says before getting out of the booth. He helps me stand, ever the gentleman, before we make our way out to his car.

“I hope so,” I tell him and I really do hope so. This might be my only chance to ever find a family of my own. Spencer gives me a smile and squeeze to the shoulder but doesn’t say anything.

Seating ourselves in the car I ask Spencer if he’ll be able to drop me off at my apartment instead. I want to get my car in case Damon needs some time to let the things I’m going to tell him sink in. Spencer agrees to drive me there but said he’ll follow behind me back to Damon’s to make sure I make it back safe.  I want to argue with him but I know there will be no use.

“Damon deserves happiness, Ella, and I think he’ll make you happy too. I think you can both find happiness together. Damon is out of practise when it comes to relationships so he’s got a lot to learn. Just be patient with him.” I smile but remain silent, lost in thoughts of what Damon and I need to speak about.