Counting Stars (A Donnelley Brother's Novel) (29 page)

His tongue pressed
against the crease of my lips, pleading silently for entrance, and
I opened to him. Kissing him with just as much fervor, I pushed my
hands up the back of his shirt, running my fingertips along the
toned muscles of his back. Logan rocked his hips against my body
and I felt the hard swell of his desire. In response, I curled my
fingers into his back, pressing my nails into his skin.

Logan gasped. “Damn,” he
moaned, placing frantic kisses over my throat, collar bone, over my
breasts and down my belly. “I want to be inside you.”

Staring down at Logan on
his knees before me, tracing his tongue along the line of my
panties, I tried to calm the nervous fluttering in my chest. Ebony
eyes looked up at me as he crooked his fingers into the band of my
panties, pulling them from my hips. My breath caught as I watched
him watch me as he dragged the material to my ankles. Without him
having to ask, I lifted each foot for him to remove the lacy
fabric.

My breasts were flushed
and hot as Logan dipped his head forward to press his lips to the V
between my legs. His lips against my very sensitive lips made my
knees feel weak. Then I felt his tongue probing against the slit
and I gasped. “Logan,”

My hand found his
shoulder and I squeezed as he hooked his hand around the back of my
right knee, lifting my leg over his other shoulder. I was open to
him in a way I had only been open to one other man—and I
prayed—with all my heart and soul that Logan would be the last man
to have me this way.

“Relax, baby,” Logan
cooed. “Let me love you.”

“Yes,” I breathed.

And that was all the
permission he needed to cover me with his mouth. He held my hips in
his very strong, very capable hands as his tongue slipped between
my crease, finding the little bundle of already throbbing nerves at
my sex. He circled the tip of his tongue around my clit before
probing at it, licking and sucking it into his mouth. Rocking my
hips against his mouth without even an ounce of humiliation or
shame, I moaned into the darkness of the room. The only light
spilling in through the window was the light of the full white
summer moon.

The sound of my pleasure
seemed to fuel Logan in his quest to make me unravel in his hands,
because his strokes quickened and then I felt his finger plunge
deep inside of me. Not even a minute later, I was trembling in his
hands and against his mouth as he pulled the most primal orgasm
from deep inside my body. I felt exhausted and alive at the same
time. My insides were pulsing and my tendons were strung tight and
my knees were weak. Every inch of my skin felt hyper aware of his
hands against my body—as though he had branded me.

Logan stood from his
knees, guiding me backward to his bed. I allowed him to move my
body and when he pushed me gently down onto the surface of his bed,
I didn’t protest. Lying down, I watched him as he tugged his shirt
over the back of his head the way boys do before working quickly at
his jeans. When he was naked, he slowly lowered himself over
me.

I didn’t hesitate to
spread my legs for him and when I felt the tip of his hard, hot
length against my moist core, I hissed in a breath. Logan wasn’t
smiling as he stared down at me. His eyes were serious, so serious,
that my breath caught. I reached up to hold his face in my hands,
pressing my lips to his in a gentle kiss. “What is it?”

Roughly, he replied.
“You’re so much more than I deserve.”

“Please, Logan,” I shook
my head. “Just make love to me.”

He nodded, pushing
himself deep inside fast and rough. I cried out in shock as slight
pain bit through me. As soon as he was buried to the hilt, he
stopped moving. Peppering my face with tiny kisses, he spoke. “I’m
sorry, Reese. I didn’t—I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay.” I shifted
my hips against him, silently telling him to move inside me before
I remembered that he wasn’t wearing a condom. Jeez, I had never
been one to forget a condom so many times. “You’re not wearing a
condom.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“Really?” My heartbeat
quickened.

He nodded. “I just
needed to feel you.” He pulled out before thrusting back inside.
“I’ll put one on soon.”

I nodded, wrapping my
legs around his hips. “Okay,”

Logan started moving
inside me without rhythm. There was nothing practiced about our
motions tonight. Everything was primitive—needed—honest—raw.
Nothing was thought through. As his hips slapped against mine, our
skin glistening, slipping and sticking with sweat, we climbed all
the way to the peak of our mountain of need, before he came undone
inside of me—and me around him. I knew I should regret this, I knew
I should be sorry for allowing him to repeatedly come inside me—but
I wasn’t.

I hadn’t fully thought
the consequences through, but I felt confident that I could do
anything, accept anything, if Logan was there for me to lean
on.

Slowly, he pulled out of
me to roll onto his back. Pulling me into his arms, he pressed his
lips against the hairline of my forehead. “I’ve never felt this
kind of need for anyone the way I do for you.”

I smiled against his
chest, kissing him. “We need to stop doing this without
protection—or I need to get back on birth control.”

Logan didn’t reply, but
I felt him tense. Obviously, he wasn’t ready for kids if he
couldn’t even talk about it.

I added. “I’m sorry for
mentioning it, I just don’t want to be surprised by something like
that.”

For a long moment, he
didn’t reply. Then he spoke—and his words shocked the living
daylight out of me. “Would it be so bad? I mean, if you did become
pregnant?”

Slowly, I peeled myself
from his chest to sit and face him. Logan lifted himself onto the
pillows against the headboard. “I just would want something like
that to be planned, Logan. It wouldn’t be bad, I suppose—but I
don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if we’re ready.”

“I know I want kids,
Reese. And I know I want you.” He linked his fingers through mine.
“I don’t know what else to say to you.”

Stunned, I spoke slowly.
“I—Logan, I do want you. More than anything, but we said we’d take
it slow.”

Grinding his teeth
behind tightly sealed lips, he nodded. “I know, Reese. I just want
you to want me like I want you.”

My heart ached. I didn’t
want him to feel this way and knowing that he did made me feel so
terribly empty inside. Crawling onto his lap, I pulled him close
and held him tight to my chest. “Logan, I feel so much more for you
than you know.” I pressed my lips to his throat and he sighed.
Before I knew it, I was a sobbing mess in his arms. “One day,
you’ll know how deeply I feel.”

“Baby,” he wrapped his
arms tighter around me. “Don’t cry—not because of me.”

“I don’t want you to
feel like I don’t care about you, because I do.”

“I know, Reese.” He said
gruffly. “I know.”

Logan shifted our bodies
together until we were beneath the thick duvet over his bed.
Pulling the blanket up around us, he cradled me in his arms. When I
finished crying against him, I just remained there against him,
holding him tight.

Looking up, I realized
for the first time the very large window looking over his bed. If I
were lying on my back, I would be able to see the sky. From the
windows in his room, a spilling of soft moonlight lit the
space.

“What’s with the big
window?” I asked, my throat feeling raw.

Logan tickled the naked
skin of my back with the tips of his fingers. “From the position of
my bed beneath the window, I can see the sky. On the nights that I
can’t sleep, I count the stars.”

“I remember you telling
me that.” I said softly. “Do you often have problems sleeping?”

“I did.” He admitted.
“But I’ve slept like a baby every night I’ve had you in my
arms.”

“That should sound
cheesy, but it doesn’t.” I replied warmly.

He chuckled. “It’s the
truth. I don’t know what it is about you, Reese, but I need you in
so many more ways than one.”

“I need you too,
Logan.”

Those words felt like a
declaration of so much more. They made my heart swell before it set
to racing against his chest. Lifting my head, I pressed my lips to
his. “Goodnight, Logan.”

“Goodnight, Reese.”

For long minutes of
peaceful silence, Logan tickled his fingertips over my back and
then we fell asleep.

The early
morning sun was warm against the bare skin of my legs. It was mid
September and I was getting the most out of my shorts before the
weather turned cold and the snow started to fall.

Placing my coffee on the
patio table, I sighed into the phone as Kat screeched, “You’ve been
gone for a month and a half! I freaking miss my best friend and
you’re telling me you don’t know when your coming back. Damn, this
Logan goon must be a God in bed to keep you from me for so damn
long!”

“Kat,” I laughed.
“Settle down.”

“Excuse me?” I heard
Macie in the background playing with the dog and I knew they were
outside as well. “Don’t tell me to settle down. Tell me when you’re
coming home.”

“I don’t know, Kat.” I
leaned my head back against the cushion of the chair and sighed.
“I’m thinking of moving here for good.”

“Ohmigawd! You’re
leaving me?”

“No! Don’t be
ridiculous.”

“You better bring this
man out to meet me. I’m practically your sister.”

“I know.” I smiled. “You
are my family, Kat. I really want you to meet Logan.”

She huffed a sigh. “You
sound really happy, Reese.”

“I am.”

“Are you still really,”
she paused. “Depressed?”

“Not anymore.” I
admitted. “Of course I still think about Derek. I’ll always think
of him and I’ll always love him but,”

She finished for me.
“But you love Logan. I understand, Reese, and I’m really very happy
for you. You deserve this.”

“Thanks, Kat.” I
whispered into the phone, feeling overly emotional. “You really
don’t know what that means to me.”

“All I want is to see
you every few months.” She stated matter of fact. “As long as you
don’t disappear from my life, I’ll always support you.”

“I’ll never disappear.”
I promised.

“I know.” She said. “I
love you, honey.”

“I love you too!” I
hugged myself around my middle. “Tell Macie I miss her and I love
her!”

“I will.” Kat sniffled.
“Talk to you soon.”

“Bye.”

I hung up the phone and
gazed out over the mountainous landscape. Tucking my still wet hair
behind my ear from my shower, I glanced up to see Logan standing
beside the patio door. His arms were folded across his chest and
his eyes were pinned on me.

“Talking to Kat?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I miss
her.”

“I know.” He replied and
his tone was dark. “We should plan a trip to go see her. I still
need to meet her.”

“Really?” I jumped up
from the chair to hurl myself into his arms. “Oh my gosh! You’re
amazing.” I kissed him. “I really like you.” I kissed him again.
“I’m a lucky woman.”

He laughed. “I really
like you.” He kissed me. “I’m a lucky man.”

I giggled and he kissed
the tip of my nose. “But breakfast is ready and waiting.”

“Oh,” I jumped to
alertness. “I’m starving!”

He shook his head.
“You’re always starving.”

I narrowed my eyes,
trying to hide my smile. “What are you saying?”

“That you have an
admirable appetite.”

I waved. “It’s your
cooking.”

. . . Hello Derek. I
know I haven’t talked to you much lately—definitely not every day
as I had been doing for so long. I miss you, still, but it’s
getting easier with every day that passes. Actually, I think you’d
be very happy to know that I’m smiling countless times every day.
I’m so blissfully happy.