Crashed into Love: Boxed Set (25 page)

Liam cleared his throat. “I may have had something
to do with that. I grew to know Nina from afar. I think my emotions were strong
enough to connect with her, no matter what state of awareness we were.”

My heart sprouted wings.

Alea grinned, looking greedily at us. I swore she
saw us as guinea pigs and ground breaking information. Her eyes fell to the
print out again. “Do you remember pain? Did your physical condition seep
through, or did you believe you were unscathed from the crash?”

Liam’s hand rose to fiddle with his bandage around
his head. “There were moments that I suffered terrible headaches. Can you see
that on there?”

Alea’s smile froze and the creepy sensation that she
wasn’t telling us the complete truth doused me. With a reluctant finger, she
pointed to a series of jagged spikes that were the only thing not identical on
my scan. I had a few twinges evident from my whiplash, but not as bad as Liam’s
records.

The kookiness of what we lived through made me
jittery. All of this was indeed a miracle, but something lurked beneath the
façade that everything was okay. Unable to stand it any longer, I demanded, “What
aren’t you telling us?”

I couldn’t speak for Liam, but I knew something was
off. Call it my sixth sense or whatever. Why didn’t I remember anything about
the crash? When did I drift into la-la land? The moment we crashed, or later,
in hospital?

I was shell-shocked, I supposed. I couldn’t focus on
the deaths of the passengers. I wasn’t able to think about Sam and Anderson no
longer being alive. I wasn’t ready to deal with all of that.

Before she could answer, Liam asked, “Why did Nina
and I wake up at the same time?”

She gave us a heavy smile. Oh no, whatever I was
worried about was linked to that question. I wanted Liam to take it back. I
didn’t want to know after all.

Alea began, “For the first twenty-four hours,
Samantha Wiggins and John Anderson shared the same frequency as you. But it was
fainter, less vivid. I saw it fading, and eventually they died.” Her black eyes
connected with us. I curled closer toward Liam, hating our wheel chairs keeping
us apart. 

Liam mumbled, deep in thought, “They were there in
our world, but then they left.”

I frowned. “In our dream we were only gone a few
days. But Joslyn said we’d been out for twenty-two. It doesn’t work.”

Alea shook her head. “We don’t know how time works
in the mind. You could have spent an afternoon together, and it might’ve been
three months in real life.” Clasping her hands on the desk, she added, “The
answer to your question: why did you wake up together? The joint signal was
fading.”

My heart lurched, leaving my chest and flapping
against the sterile floor. Fading? As in fading like Samantha and Anderson? One
of us was
dying?

Liam shifted anxiously beside me. “What do you mean?
Fading?”

Chills shot down my backless gown. I clutched Liam’s
arm. God help me if we hadn’t been through enough. I wanted to scream at her
not to tell us, or punch her so she couldn’t.

Liam held onto me with a death-grip. He cleared his
throat. “Elaborate.”

Alea hung her head, opening another folder, one that
filled me with dread.

“We discussed Nina’s injuries sustained from the
crash. But we didn’t discuss yours, Liam.” She straightened. “As a doctor I
have the amazing privilege of being part of miracles, but I also have the
burden of sharing bad news.”

No. No.
No.
Please no.

“You suffered a severe brain injury. I was the
doctor who operated on you. When you arrived from the crash, a piece of
shrapnel had penetrated the cockpit window and lodged in your skull.” Her
enjoyment at sharing our mind-link faded, professional decorum replaced it. “We
had to operate on your cerebral cortex to stem internal bleeding and relieve
pressure on your brain. The operation was a success, but we couldn’t know the
extent of your injury until you awoke.”

My eyes catapulted to the doctor’s as I clamped a
hand over my mouth. I couldn’t look at Liam. Beneath the swaps of bandages did
he have hair, or had they shorn him and left him with stitches from tampering
with his brain? Would he be the same person? Had their tampering changed him?
What did all of this
mean?
So he
wasn’t
dying?

Liam grew unmoving beside me. I was a shaking, but
he never stopped holding my hand. Finally, he said, “But I feel fine. How am I
to know how the operation affected me?”

Alea clasped her hands. “We’ll have to put you
through a series of tests to determine what areas, if any, are affected. You
have to understand, Liam. You were in a pretty bad way. The operation was to
save your life. You almost died the night following the crash. We
underestimated how bad your internal bleeding was.”

Liam stiffened at the same time I did. My mind flew
back to the headache he’d had by the waterfall. Was that when he suffered?
Almost died in reality?

The doctor asked, “There is one significant moment
in your brain waves where you almost slipped away. Do you recall it?”

Liam nodded slowly. I expected him to mention the
waterfall, but he said, “I was in a restaurant one night. We’d had a rather
stressful conversation, and Nina left.”

My heart raced. The night him and Nikolai told me
about Charlotte. My God. Where was Nikolai? Why was he in our dream?

“The pain was excruciating. I remember drifting,
just wanting to leave it all behind and let go.” His eyes met mine. “But Nina
came back and grounded me. I stayed where I was. Thanks to her.”

The doctor sucked in a breath. “I don’t know how to
work out timelines, but you flat lined in the operation. I wonder if it
translated to that moment.” She looked at me with the overwhelming wonderment
again. “Nina, your feelings for Liam brought him back. We tried to resuscitate
him on the table, but he didn’t respond. We had given up, when all of a sudden,
his heart started beating again on its own.”

Liam looked at me. I couldn’t look away. Even in a
coma we’d been so connected. Maybe more connected than in a normal
relationship. Everything was bared. No lies. No half-truths or games.
Everything was amplified and pure.

“So, he’ll be fine then?” I asked, not looking away
from Liam. His arctic eyes were the same knowing and loving ones I knew in my
dream world.

“Concessions will have to be made, I’m afraid.”
Doctor Ali’tasi ‘s tense voice prickled my ears.

Liam and I both stared at her. “What concessions?”
he asked.

“The swelling affected part of your brain that holds
long term memory. Most of the time, only one or two things are affected. Such
as how to tie a shoelace or other mundane things like that. Sometimes, it’s
more serious like forgetting how to drive.”

There was a brief pause before Liam stumbled to his
feet, panic scrawled all over his face. I looked up at him, terrified.

“No. My God. No!” He clutched his head, trying to
claw through the bandages. “It can’t be true. I remembered in my coma. It’s not
true.”

My heart shattered at his pain. I struggled to my
feet, wobbling, knees buckling. “Liam. Tell me. What’s wrong?” I kept my voice
low and caressed his cheek. Trying to calm him. I was dimly aware of Alea
calling for help.

“I can’t remember, Nina. None of it.”

Fear closed my throat, but I forced it back.
“Remember what?”

He looked at me, his soul bared in agony. “I can’t
remember how to fly.”

A
ll of it.

Every flight I’d ever steered, every lesson I ever
took.

Gone.

As if I’d never known.

My employment was down the shitter along with my
dream of owning my own airline. It didn’t matter that everything in the coma
was real. Nina
loved
me. We spent some incredible moments together, but
they never actually happened. All I had to show for the most perfect few days
of my life was a brain scan hinting at some medical miracle. I groaned, piecing
more and more of the discrepancies together. The island didn’t have clocks…
because my mind couldn’t rationalize time. Nikolai didn’t really happen as he wasn’t
injured—I just conjured him so I’d be forced to talk about Charlotte, and deal
with my insecurities. The voices I heard? Most likely reality seeping through
to my subconscious.

Hell, I loved Nina, but did she
really
love
me? After all, it was a figment of minds. Warped with pain and healing… did we
really experience such a soul-altering experience? We had no proof. No
photographs, mementos, or even a bloody tan.

What classified anything as real?

And now I awake from the most incredible place to
find catastrophe waiting for me.

I couldn’t remember!

My livelihood had been stolen by a piece of wayward
shrapnel. My dream of flying in paradise decimated just as I met the one woman
I wanted to share it with.

I tried to stop panic from consuming me, to stay
rational, but all logical thoughts imploded, leaving me terrified and lost.

How could I expect Nina to still want to be with me
when I was broken? I cringed to think how relentlessly I pursued her. No
scruples about how I might come across as an obsessed idiot. I
made
her
fall in love with me. I forced her to allow me into her subconscious for
fucking sake. Who
does
that? And now I’d made her mine, I was useless. A
sack of untrained and shattered human. A pilot with no knowledge of how to fly.

I might as well have woken a cripple. My self-pity
roared over me as I slowly sank back into my wheel chair, my legs protesting
and creaking.

“Liam. It’s okay. We’ll work through this. I’m sure
your memory will come back.” Nina stroked my arm, inching as close as she
could.

I loved her. She was my other half, but at the same
time, I hated myself for not being perfect for her. How could I expect her to
love me if I wasn’t the same man I was in our dream world?

A blistering thought caught me. “But, I flew in the
coma.” My hand frantically grabbed Nina’s. “Remember…”

Nina bit her lip, confusion racing over her face.
“Oh God, Liam. You didn’t fly. I had the controls. You nosedived us, but I was
the one who took off and landed.”

My shoulders curved, rolling to protect the
emptiness in my chest. She was right. I couldn’t even remember reading the
instruments on our descent, or doing any number of things that were so
ingrained into my psyche. I couldn’t remember a damn thing.

Nina’s eyes burned into me, bright, glassy with
tears and pity. I didn’t want her pity.

I shrivelled inside. My entire life was gone.

Alea interrupted my rapid descent into wallowing.
“Liam, your brain is intact. In time your memories might return. There is no
reason to suggest you will never remember. Don’t put too much stress on your
system. Just like I tell amnesia patients, your brain is working, even as we
speak, to remember.” She sucked in a breath. “I must install positivity in you,
just as I must warn you there is an eighty percent chance you will never
remember. Based on similar cases such as yours, the swelling of the brain
tissue can sometimes have permanent results. If, in the case your memory
doesn’t return, you can always relearn your skills. There is no weakness in
having to take a step back to go forward.”

My eyes blazed with anger. What did she know? Did
she find her soul mate in a coma and then wake up to find she could no longer
deliver on the promises made? I promised Nina a man who would support and care
for her. A man who wanted to whisk her off and open a business together. I’d
broken every promise I made the moment my eyes opened. I was worthless and
refused to let Nina be dragged into my broken world. 

“I need to be alone,” I mumbled, before lurching
upright.

“Liam. No. Let me help you. Calm down, we can figure
this out. Together.”

I shuffled to the door. My limbs were zombified, not
willing to move after being inert for twenty-two days, but I forced them away
from Nina’s sad voice and down the yellow corridor. I didn’t know where I was
going. All I wanted was somewhere I could think. Somewhere I could indulge in
self-pity and get a handle on my new reality.

Who cared if there was a twenty percent chance my
condition wasn’t permanent? My hands curled. They were crap odds. Basically, I
was royally screwed.

Charlotte would hate me for being so weak. I had no
right to be confused and upset. If I pulled myself up and accepted I was lucky
to be alive, I could focus on what I needed to do to fix myself.

Instead, as I shuffled creakily through the cheery
yellow hospital, I swiped at the burning sensation in my eyes. I wasn’t crying.
I wasn’t that much of a sap.

God, Liam. It’s not the end of the world. 

Guilt crushed me. I wasn’t dead. Anderson and
Samantha were. Anderson left behind three kids and a wife of twenty-six years.
I didn’t know Samantha’s family, but I knew they’d suffer her loss.

I shouldn’t wallow in something as trivial as lost
memories. I was alive. I’d won the woman in my dreams
. I’m a medical miracle
.

The stagnant island air welcomed me as I stumbled
out the back door. I couldn’t go any further and slithered down the wall,
collapsing in a heap. My pulse was erratic, not used to so much exercise. The
uncomfortable concrete bit my naked ass, and only then did I notice I was in a
gown with my balls hanging free. I hated these fucking things.

I sat there for who knows how long, staring at the
late afternoon sun. The gardens were slightly overgrown. Maybe staff ate lunch
here, or brought patients for a walk in the shabby grass oval, sheltered by
banana leaves and trees.

I stifled a groan as Joslyn appeared, her neck
craned, looking for me. I crunched into a smaller huddle, hoping she’d go away.
I couldn’t deal with her right now. I meant what I said—I needed to be alone—to
grieve, comprehend, and put myself back together again.

She spotted me. She waved and hobbled over on her
crutches.

“Everyone’s looking for you, Liam. You need to come
back inside. You need to rest.” She reclined against the wall and slid to
puddle awkwardly beside me. One knee bent, with the other straight out in its
cast. It was bare plaster, no scribbles or get well wishes. Had she been here
on her own for almost a month watching me wither away in a coma? Why didn’t she
go home to family? Shit, my family! They must be so anxious to know I was okay.

I flinched as she placed her hand on my forearm.
Every extremity was off, as if my skin wasn’t used to being touched. Which I
supposed was true. My mind skipped back to touching Nina in my dreams. I knew
so much about her…. But had only shared brief caresses since awaking in
reality. God, this was so messed up. 

“I’ve called our two sets of parents. They came over
when the crash first happened. But they couldn’t stay away from work any
longer.” She smiled. “They’re ecstatic to hear you’ve woken up. They wanted to
come and see you, but I said we’d catch up when we go home. Hope that’s okay?”

That was more than okay. It wasn’t easy having
divorced parents who hated each other, not to mention working such high-powered
jobs as airport CEO and aeronautical lawyer. When I was younger, I hated their
work stole so much time, but at the same time, they were the ones who stopped
me from getting a criminal record for Charlotte’s death. Which I still didn’t
deserve. I needed to pay for my sins and they swept it under the runway, never
to be mentioned again.

“I’m glad you kept them in the loop. Thanks, Tree.”

Joslyn sighed, watching me with compassion. “Is it
true? What Nina told me? That you can’t remember how to fly?”

I groaned at the sharp pain in my head. My brain
injury taking that exact moment to remind me I had yet to investigate what
lurked beneath my bandage. As much as I wanted to deny it—scream that it wasn’t
true—I nodded. “Yes.”

“Liam, I’m so sorry.” She rested her head on my
shoulder. “You can overcome this. Sometimes memories come back. If they don’t,
you can study again. I’m sure you won’t have to sit all the exams. You’ll
remember parts of it.”

“Even with an eighty percent chance I won’t?” I
squeezed my eyes closed.

“You’ve never let life get you down before. Don’t
start now.”

I knew she referenced Charlotte, and the guilt came
for never telling her the full truth. I nudged her shoulder. “I know once I
stop feeling sorry for myself, I can relearn. But that’s not all I’m struggling
with.”’

 “Is it your feelings for Nina? The doctor told me.
She tried to make me understand while you were asleep. She badgered me to tell
her about your medical history, see if there was anything in our family that
would explain your synchronized brain waves.”

I didn’t think there was anything in my family’s
history to make me fall in love and create a dream-world with Nina. My
affection for her found a way to bring us closer, even when our bodies were
incapacitated. And that’s what made it so hard. I’d fought so much to win her,
to be worthy.

“It feels as if everything I do, everything I want,
is jerked out of my grasp at the last minute. My life is jinxed, almost as if I
don’t deserve it.” Because I was the imbecile who, in a roundabout way, killed
his sister. Perhaps I deserved my fate. It was my karma to think life was
giving me a break, when it was just teasing me. “I’m cursed.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t say things like that.
You’re not cursed.” We sat in silence for a moment while Joslyn curbed her
outburst. Finally, she sighed. “Did something happen in your coma with Nina?
What would make you say a thing like that?”

I changed the subject. “You were there, too, you
know? Just as annoying. Just as meddling.”

“Really? Cool. I remember having a vivid dream about
sunbaking with Nina and talking about her falling in love with you, but not
much else. I guess I wasn’t out of it as much as you guys.”

My heart jerked, recalling how Nina panicked on the
beach, just before we traded paradise for hell. I’d terrified her by moving too
fast. Just the thought of flying side by side in Tahiti, living in some open
air pavilion, and eating fruit and fresh seafood gave me more chills than
Christmas morning as a child. I wanted it
so
bad. And she wanted to go
slow. Now it didn’t matter. My dreams were shattered.

Sucking in a breath, I whispered, “I was going to
quit Kiwi Air. I was going to start my own company and move to French
Polynesia.”

Joslyn jolted. “Wow, where did that come from? You
say it like you’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

I shrugged. My head disapproved, screaming in
protest. “I have. Since I got my license.”

Joslyn stared off into the distance. “And you told
Nina this?”

I hung my head. “Yep. It didn’t go as well as I
hoped. She was scared.”

She patted my arm. “She’ll come around. Everything
will be better soon, you’ll see.”

I didn’t know how it would be. I had years of study
in front of me again. I’d lost my job, my dream… possibly the woman I fell in
love with. Worse, I lost my sense of self. I wasn’t me without my wings. I had
nothing to offer. I’d be a cripple while I healed and a student with yet more
debt. Even if Nina did want to work it out, in reality, I couldn’t let her
shackle herself to a guy with no prospects.

The crash stole more lives than the passengers,
Anderson, and Sam. It stole mine.

My eyes darted across the gardens, and I sucked in a
painful breath. “What’s he doing here?”

Joslyn followed my eyes. “He’s been popping in the
last few weeks. He’s been really worried about you two.”

I bet Nikolai was worried about Nina. It made no
sense why he was in our coma. Taunting me, trying to steal Nina away.

He spied us, determination in his eyes as he headed
in our direction.

“Help me up,” I muttered to Jos. No way did I want
to be on my naked ass for this conversation.

Joslyn tried to get to her feet, but couldn’t manage
with her cast.

Nikolai jogged the last few metres, and held out his
hand to Jos with a small smile. “Here, let me help.”

She gave him a shy look, but placed her palm in his.
Nik pulled gently, then helped stabilize her.

“Thanks,” she muttered, once standing.

Hating that Nikolai was saving the day, I scowled as
he passed me one of Jos’s crutches.  I was the flipping equivalent of a broken
thing.