Damaged and the Bulldog (8 page)

My whole day sucked. I woke up in a weird position,
having irritated the exit wound scar on my back. The spot bothered me all
morning. Once a cold snap struck around noon, my chest scar throbbed too.

The guys on the worksite whined about the cold. A few
were solely focused on the upcoming holidays. My only concern was getting
Cooper’s office finished before the weather turned to shit and supplies got
harder to come by.

Lunch upset my stomach and too much coffee only made
it worse. By the time Nick showed up after his classes, I was in a shit mood.

“Go,” he said, pointing for the door. “Visit your
woman and see if she can turn that frown upside down.”

While Nick snickered at my grumpiness, I left him to
take over the jobsite. The guys were slacking off again when I walked past
them. Hell, they didn’t even fake work for my benefit. Nick appeared behind.

“Oh, Dylan, I know a few guys looking for construction
work. They have experience too. You might want to meet them.”

Frowning, I didn’t get his point, but the guys did.
They were replaceable and Nick had no allegiance to them. Work picked up as
Nick stood nearby. I left the office, feeling better than I had all day.

My good mood didn’t last long.

For whatever reason, Jace got on my nerves. He had a
dark gaze like a predator dissecting its prey. Whenever he smiled though, his
face changed and I saw the kid underneath. Of course, he rarely smiled at the
guy dating his sister.

“Busted,” Jace said, answering the door. “Poor dumb
Dylan.”

Frowning, I was ready to ask what he meant. Winnie
appeared first and walked past her brother, shutting the door on his smirk.

“What’s going on?” I asked, nervous after a long
crappy day.

“Do you sit outside our house in your SUV?” she asked,
staring at me wide-eyed. “Harlow said you do and she doesn’t lie to me.”

Even knowing this conversation was always a
possibility, I didn’t know how to answer her. I shoved my hands into my pockets
and stepped back. Needing a minute to think, I wanted to find the right words
to make her understand. Except those words didn’t exist.

“Why would you do that?” she asked when I remained
silent.

“I get tense,” I muttered. “I feel overwhelmed, I
guess. My friends bailed on me when Larry pulled his shit. The business is
taking off and that’s great, but it’s a lot of pressure. I felt alone until I
met you.”

Winnie stared at me and I couldn’t read the expression
in her normally expressive hazel eyes.

“When I met you and your family, I was still in a bad
place after the blowup with my dad. I’d come into work, tense and even
depressed. Once I saw you though, everything bad faded away. I looked forward
to your visits. After the Devils, you stopped coming in and I missed the way you
made me feel.”

Pausing, I rolled back on my heels like a scolded kid
caught red handed. “So I’d drive by your house. I just need to know you were
real. Soon, I was driving by before and after work. After awhile, I’d park a
few houses down. I rarely saw you, but I knew you were close and that settled
all the stress I was feeling. Eventually, I ended up sleeping in the car some
nights.”

Winnie frowned. “You were sleeping in your car? You
know that’s weird, right?”

“Yeah,” I muttered.

“Like mentally f’ed up weird. Stalker stuff.”

“I never had any evil plan to grab you or hurt you,” I
said, defending my weirdness. “I just needed to be close.”

“But it’s still weird.”

“Yeah, but not dangerous weird. More like pathetic
weird.”

Winnie smiled slightly. “Sorta crazy weird.”

“I guess.”

“You know,” Winnie said, smiling wider, “when you said
you were an asshole, I didn’t believe you. I thought you were just trying to
make me feel better about having phobias and all my issues. But you really are
f’ed up too.”

“You like that?” I asked, frowning.

“I saw you as too perfect. Out of reach. I kept
thinking you would realize how messed up I was and leave me. Now, I know you’re
messed up too. Maybe not as messed up as me, but weird is still weird.”

“And that makes me more attractive?” I asked, stepping
closer.

Winnie nodded. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t
have something wrong with them. It doesn’t seem fair for one of us to be
perfectly normal and the other to be messed up.”

“I don’t think you’re messed up.”

“Because you’re messed up too,” she said, placing a
hand against my chest and lifting her lips to mine.

Sucking at her pretty pink lips, I wrapped her gently
in my arms. A part of me was still afraid Winnie would change her mind and push
me away. Or her parents would walk outside and tell me to stop stalking their
daughter.

“When you sat in your car at night, did you think
about naughty things?” Winnie asked, gripping my shirt.

“No, never,” I lied.

“Too bad. I think naughty things about you especially
in the shower.”

“Hell, woman,” I growled, wrapping her tighter in my
arms. “It’s cruel to tease me when minutes ago I thought I’d lost you.”

“Did you really think I’d stop seeing you, just
because you’re a little bit of an obsessive stalker?”

Sharing her smile, I couldn’t believe she saw me at my
most fucked up and still wanted me. I saw no hesitancy in her gaze, no second
thoughts. Winnie wanted me, warts and all.

Much like his sisters, Jace had issues. Tonight, he
hid behind Mom at the restaurant, didn’t want to order his food, and whispered everything.
Dad said Jace was already a preteen at ten. Mom babied him while he ate up the
attention. I didn’t blame him for enjoying it.
Mom’s hugs were the best.

Harlow was edgy too. She wanted me to dump Dylan or at
least take things slower. Besides feeling confused about my love life, she
suffered a brutal fight the night before at the Thunderdome. Her jaw sported a
big ugly bruise and I suspected eating was painful. Dad wanted to say something
nearly as badly as Mom did, but they kept their thoughts to themselves. With
Harlow, they decided to give her space to make mistakes.

I hope they felt the same about me.

“Dylan and I are going out tomorrow,” I said after our
appetizers arrived. “I’d like to go without a chaperone.”

Jaw clenching, Dad gave me a fake smile. “Are you
sure? Harlow needs to get out more.”

My sister ignored this comment. Jace was also in his
head. I felt alone with my parents.

“I need to try,” I said, smiling at Mom. “I’ve been
getting stronger and I need to be alone with Dylan to know if I can handle it.”

“And if you can’t?” Mom asked, giving me a smile that
didn’t reach her blue eyes.

“Then I’ll know I need to slow down.”

Dad nodded first then Mom nodded. They said nothing
until our dinners arrived. Their silence made me second-guess my decision to be
alone with Dylan.

“Life is about taking chances,” Mom said, cutting her
steak. “I took one with your dad and it’s been a hell of a ride.”

Dad gave her a naughty smirk. “That ride ain’t ending
anytime soon, baby.”

While my parents shared a marital horny moment, I
imagined myself alone with Dylan for a few hours.
No buffer. No grumpy
Harlow tapping her watch. No security blanket.

I needed to break free of my past to build something
real. No longer was fear standing in my way.

Our first un-chaperoned date ended at my one bedroom
apartment. Winnie asked to see the place I called home and I took the hint.
When we arrived, I retrieved us drinks and we sat on the balcony.

“I like it here,” she said.

Based on the fear in her voice, Winnie was lying. I
didn’t blame her for disliking the sterile apartment. On more than one
occasion, I’d stopped at one of those decorating places like Hobby Lobby. I
wanted to give my apartment character, but nothing clicked. I couldn’t even
decide on a paint color. The empty walls made the place feel cold.

“I have two houses I’m renovating. An old Victorian
and a midcentury ranch. I figure I’ll keep one of them for myself. I’ll move in
when I have someone to share it with.”

Winnie refused to even glance in my direction and I
doubted she heard me. When she finally focused on my face, I was startled by
the terror in her eyes.

“I care about you a lot.”

As a guy, I knew what those words meant and figured
she was dumping me. “I care about you too.”

“I want to be close to you.”

“Okay,” I said, nervous at the hollow tone of her
voice.

Winnie handed me the can of soda. “I’ll be back in a
minute.”

Winnie disappeared into the bathroom for a long time.
I knew girls had their issues, so I didn’t knock on the door and put her on the
spot. Instead, I remained on the couch and worried silently.

When the door opened, I remained casual as if she
hadn’t been gone for over thirty minutes. My attempt to play cool ended when I saw
her dressed in a long burgundy robe.

“I have an idea,” she said, sounding terrified.

I opened my mouth to respond, but decided silence was
better. Approaching me, Winnie trembled.

“I need to practice being close. Can we just
practice?” she asked, nearly in tears.

“Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I don’t know. I want to try. Can we try?”

Winnie’s voice hit a high panicked pitch and I did the
only thing that made sense.

Opening my arms, I said softly, “We’ll try.”

Nearly five minutes passed from when I reached for
Winnie and she actually stood in front of me. She inched closer, paused, backed
up a little, and looked around, before finally inching closer again. Once
standing in front of the couch where I waited, Winnie opened her robe.

I prayed she wasn’t naked. No way was Winnie ready to
expose her body. Besides, I didn’t think I could restrain my baser desires if
she was undressed in my arms. Instead of nude, Winnie wore a yellow bikini,
leaving most of her pale skin bare.

“I don’t work out,” she said, staring at me in horror.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” I
mumbled, taking her hands and tugging her gently into my lap. “You’re
perfection.”

Winnie straddled me then placed her hands on my
shoulders. The robe remained on, yet open in the front.

I wanted to explore. How could a man with a beautiful
girl on his lap not want to touch every inch of exposed flesh? Rather than
freak her out, I stared into her hazel eyes and traced her pretty pink lips
with my finger.

“Should I take off my shirt?” I asked, kissing her
jaw. “I have to warn you that I don’t work out either.”

Despite her fear, Winnie laughed. “I’ve seen you
without your shirt. Please, take it off. It’s only fair.”

I pulled off my shirt and tossed it aside. Her gaze
immediately focused on the ugly wound on the right side of my chest. Her
fingers reached out and caressed the scar so gently I barely felt her. When she
lifted her gaze to meet mine, I saw the concern in her eyes.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” I said, hoping to
distract her from the painful memories of that day.

“Okay,” she whispered, leaning forward as my hands
slid into the robe and caressed her bare back.

Winnie’s body remained stiff in my arms. She didn’t
react to my kisses or my nails grazing her skin. When I gazed into her eyes, I
felt as if I was staring into pools of nothingness. I might have stopped except
I’d seen Winnie disappear on me before and she always returned.

Taking her hands from my shoulders, I placed them on
my chest. Winnie didn’t react, her skin covered in goose bumps and nipples soft
under my touch. She might as well been doing the dishes with the level of
arousal her body felt.

Her fingertips caressed my collarbone then returned to
my chest. Like the sun breaking through the darkness, Winnie kissed me with
more heat.

She moaned in my mouth before pressing her hips closer
to mine. My erection struggled against jeans suddenly a size too small. Moaning
now, I wrapped my arms around her and snuggled her even closer until her chest
slid up and down mine.

“Dylan,” she said and it sounded almost like a
question.

“You’re safe,” I whispered, sucking at her shoulder.
“I’ll never hurt you.”

Relaxing again, Winnie let her fingers explore my
chest then shoulders. Her lips tasted my throat as her soft hair spilled over
my shoulder. The feel of her was better than I could have imagined and I never
wanted to let her go.

Brushing off the robe, I tightened my embrace.
Winnie’s lips found mine. She wanted more and I sensed no fear in her. In a
smooth gesture, I picked up Winnie and swung around to rest her on the couch.

My teeth tugged at the thin strap of her bikini top
then licked at her soft skin. She tasted so good and I wanted more. My hand
slid over her full breasts, eliciting a moan from Winnie. The sound of her
voice sent me over the edge and I lost control.

Tugging back her bikini top, I sucked at her hard pink
nipple. Winnie moaned again, encouraging me. My body begged me to take her to
bed. I wasn’t the only one hungry for more. Winnie’s legs spread when my
fingers caressed the fabric of her bikini bottom.

Despite the pain of denying our desires, I forced
myself to stop. Yet my brain screamed lies. Stopping was a mistake. She was as
aroused as I was. I should wrap Winnie in my arms and take her to bed. I’d love
her enough to make her forget all of the bad things from her past.

My heart or the actual smart part of my brain told me
to back the fuck off. I let her go for a moment and really looked at her. Past
her arousal, Winnie was lost in her head. I’d come so close to ruining what I
was building with Winnie. Even worse, I’d nearly hurt an already damaged girl.

Trust.

Winnie really couldn’t say no. When Tad warned me
about Winnie’s problem, I hadn’t understood what he meant. Now I could see it
in her blank expression. I wanted her and she wanted me to be happy. I doubted
Winnie knew what she truly wanted, so she shut down.

After helping her into the robe, I held Winnie in my
arms. She wasn’t upset like many girls might be if a guy stopped in the middle
of a heavy make out session. Winnie didn’t know enough about sex to feel
rejected. When I wanted her, she gave herself to me. When I wanted to stop, she
adjusted to this reality. She felt no power in the situation.

“You’re a seductress,” I teased while ignoring my
erection.

“I love when you touch me.”

Smiling at her flushed face, I wished I knew what
Winnie needed. Most girls sent signals about how far was too far. My girl gave
until it was too much then she hid in her head until it was over.

Patience might be a pain in the ass, but it was my
only option if I wanted to keep Winnie.