Dangerous Beauty: Part Four: Beautifully Broken (24 page)

But he didn’t! He continued to struggle for breath, continued to grip on the sheet as if trying to pull himself out of something until he just stopped …

He stopped breathing …

And Reanna’s heart stopped in response.

She stared down at his still form, her eyes wide, and her body seized with a fear more intense than anything she’d ever felt in her entire life.

“Kyle?” She managed to say as her hand moved up to his nose and mouth. It wasn’t until she felt no breaths coming from either place that panic really set in.

She just … lost it.

“Kyle!” she screamed, grabbing his face and giving him another shake, but nothing. Nothing. He still wasn’t moving. “Kyle!” Tears sprang to her eyes and immediately spilled down her face as the most horrific dread spread throughout her body. Why wasn’t he breathing? “Kyle, please wake up. Its just a dream. Kyle!”

No movement, no sound, and no breathing. Nothing.

Consumed in a state of utter terror, Reanna quickly climbed atop him, then leaned forward, pressing her ear to his chest in effort to listen for his heart.

It was still beating, but with every passing second, the beating slowed.

Quickly sitting up, she grabbed his face and shook him. “Kyle,” she wept frantically. “Please wake up, baby. Wake up …” She shook him again. “It’s a dream, honey. It’s not real, wake up!”

When, once again, he still didn’t move, Reanna decided to take extreme measures. She didn’t want to do it, she didn’t want to hurt him, but she couldn’t see another way. His nightmare was literally killing him. So after making it up in her mind, Reanna lifted her hand, closed her eyes, then cried, “I’m so sorry, honey,” right before she slammed her hand down on his chest hard.

The hit was effective.

Kyle’s eyes shot wide open, and the sound of his loud, deep intake of breath filled the entire room.

Reanna gasped when he shot up to sitting position, wrapping her in a tight hold when he did. A
very
tight hold …

“It’s me! It’s me! It’s me!” she yelled, grabbing his face with both hands and forcing him to look into her eyes. He leaned forward even more, forcing her to lock one leg around him to avoid falling off of the bed. “Kyle …”

He stared into her eyes, even as he continued gasping to catch his breath. Reanna allowed him the time he needed to snap back, instinctively knowing that whatever he’d just experienced had been too traumatic for him to be rushed. So even though he had his arm around her in a crushingly tight hold, Reanna didn’t move. She remained silent as he processed his surroundings.

It had taken him a couple of minutes to reel himself in, and even then he was still out of breath. Reanna knew the moment he recognized her; his hold loosened around her and he dropped his head forward, tiredly resting it on her chest.

Relieved out of her mind, Reanna sighed, feeling so freaking thankful. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him just as close as she ran her fingers through his hair, comforting him.

“
Colomba
,” he breathed.

“Yes,” she whispered, kissing his head over and over again, “it’s me. It’s okay, everything’s okay …”

He continued talking to her, but the language barrier made it difficult for her to understand him. He was speaking insanely fast Italian; she had no clue what the hell he was saying, but she still hugged him tightly. She comforted him, all while vowing to never let him go through anything like that alone again.

She’d had no idea. No freaking idea that his nightmares had progressed to life threatening, and honestly, if she weren’t so relieved that he was awake, alive, and okay, she would probably be incredibly upset that he hadn’t told her they had become so bad. Well, maybe in his defense, Reanna hadn’t really made it that easy for him to be honest with her for the past couple of weeks. And it was probably the extra stress that she’d put on him on top of all of his other responsibilities that had caused his dreams to worsen as they had.

Reanna closed her eyes when guilt washed over her, even as she continued to hold him.

What had she been thinking, leaving him? He’d been going through this alone. And if she were being honest with herself, she believed Sofia had tried to talk about what was going on with Kyle a couple of times this week, but Reanna—being so determined to stick with her stupid quest to end her relationship with him—had changed the subject. God, she felt so stupid, so wrong … But no more.

Never again.

“Breathe, honey,” she murmured into his hair. “Just keep breathing …”

And he did. Reanna didn’t know how long they sat in the middle of the bed holding each other close, all she knew was that she didn’t want it to end. Kyle held on to her as he lifted his head from her chest, and he rested his forehead against hers.

Staring into his troubled eyes, Reanna’s heart twisted. He looked so pained, so … broken.

Bringing her hand up to caress his face, Reanna gazed deeply into his eyes. “You stopped breathing,” she cried softly. “I thought … I thought you …” Reanna couldn’t even vocalize what she’d thought was going to happen. It hurt too much. And though she desperately wanted to be strong for him, she was having
serious
trouble hiding how traumatizing seeing him like that had been for her.

Taking in another slow, deep breath, he hugged her again, pressing a kiss to her neck. “I know, baby,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry. I should have said something before bed.”

Pulling back some, she looked into his eyes, shaking her head. “This has happened before?”

He nodded. “I’m sorry. I was just hoping …” He shook his head. “I can’t predict when the memories will come. I’m sorry—”

“Stop.” Reanna placed her finger to his lips, then kissed the side of his mouth, then his cheek. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault!” It was the fault of that sickening woman that did all of those horrible things to him. “We can talk about it, if you want …”

He shook his head and hugged her closer as he lowered his face to her neck. “No,” he muttered, running his hand slowly up her back.

Reanna closed her eyes as she inhaled a deep breath, unable to fight the chilling sensation that slowly swept through her body.

“Are … you sure?” she asked, feeling a little breathless.

He nodded again. “Not tonight. I can’t.”

Then when
? Reanna wondered, her heart still breaking for him. She wanted him to unburden himself, to tell her what was going through his head so that he didn’t have to suffer through the memories alone. She knew he was hurting, that he was in pain—she could see it in his eyes; that feeling of helplessness, that feeling that came when your own mind attacked you with memories that you left buried for a reason. It was a pain that Reanna herself recognized all too well, and she didn’t want him to endure it alone. Not like she had.

“Please,” she said softly, pressing her forehead to his once more. “Tell me what I can do.” Because she’d do anything for him. Anything to take away whatever pain she could, all he had to do was say so …

Closing her eyes, she leaned into his touch when he brought his hand up to cup her face.

“Just be here,
colomba
, that’s all I need. I just need to know that you’re here. That alone brings me more peace than you could ever understand.”

“I’m here, Kyle … always.” And she’d never leave him again. “Hold me. Please hold me.”

He was already holding her, but God, she needed so much more. More closeness, more
him
. Tight just wasn’t close enough for her at the present moment. Close wasn’t even enough. She knew she was being needy, but she’d just been so frightened she didn’t even know what to do with herself. What if he hadn’t woken up, what would she have done then?

“
Colomba
,” Kyle said with a sad sigh, still embracing her tightly. “Calm, baby. You’re shaking …”

She hadn’t noticed until he’d said it, but she was. Fresh tears filled her eyes, spilling slowly down her cheeks as she cried softly.

“Baby …”

“I was so scared,” she confessed, burying her face in his neck. “I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t breathing, and I didn’t know how to help you. I feel so helpless, Kyle. I want to do something, but I know there’s nothing I can do …”

She was weeping, and she couldn’t calm herself for anything. She knew she was pretty much failing at being strong for him right now, but she felt his pain as if it was her own. His inner torture was ripping her to shreds and she had no idea how to make it stop …

“Reanna.
Gesù Cristo, colomba
, you’re killing me.” He kissed her forehead, then pulled back a bit until she lifted her head from his shoulder. “Look at me, baby.”

Obediently, Reanna looked into his eyes, her cries now becoming soft sniffles.

“You’re doing more than enough, honey,” he assured. “You’re here with me. This is all I need. Just you …”

A sob unexpectedly fell from her lips. “But I hate this, Kyle. I hate that this is happening to you …”

“I know, baby, but I’m fine. I promise.”

Lowering her eyes, she shook her head.

“Reanna,” he said firmly, prompting her to lift her eyes back to his. “I promise you. I’m fine, more than fine. I’ve got my two allies, remember?” He smiled faintly. “Sofia, and you.”

That didn’t help to stop her tears in the slightest. As a matter of fact, it only made it worse. It was like a freaking dam broke loose; she couldn’t stop crying. The pain in her heart was just too unbearable.

“Reanna, please,” Kyle pled with her, a pained expression on his face. “You’re breaking my heart ...”

She didn’t want to, but her own heart was pounding with the need to open up to him—to be honest with him and tell him the truth of how strong her feelings were for him. Even as she stared into his warm, loving eyes, fighting to calm herself, she felt the intense emotions inside of her pushing aside all of her inhibitions.

“I don’t ever want us to be apart from each other again, Kyle,” she cried, uncaring of anything that had ever held her back from saying it before now. “I can’t bear it.”

Kyle nodded, bringing his hand to her face, cupping it as he gently wiped her tears. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“The last two weeks have been … horrible.” Worse than horrible. Unbearable, awful, depressing, utterly heartbreaking. “I can’t take anymore.”

And by that she didn’t mean time apart from one another, she meant she couldn’t take any of it anymore. The closeness they had without the commitment. She wanted that commitment, and the even deeper connection that came along with it. Now more than ever.

Kyle kissed her tear-stained face, nodding his head once again as he moved his hand slowly down her back. “It’s my fault, but I’ll make it better, Reanna. I promise. I need you so much.”

“I do, too,” she whispered hoarsely … almost desperately.

She needed him so badly right now that it was actually hurting her. There were so many emotions surrounding them, too many unsaid words, unexpressed feelings. Everything had just been building up for far too long and now she was at her breaking point. She was overwhelmed; her need and desire for him had finally just hit its peak. There was no holding back for her now, no chance of return. She wanted him too badly, her body was leaving her no choice.

“I need you,” she whispered breathlessly, her warm breath brushing against his lips. She didn’t know what it was, but an overwhelming heat blanketed itself over her body, sending her reeling into a state of intoxication that felt so natural, so right that she had no choice but to embrace it. Her legs opened wider as she pressed herself against him. “I … need you … so much.”

She bit down on her bottom lip and willed herself not to move.

Kyle’s eyes fell to her lips as he brought one of his hands up to her face, placed it gently on her cheek, then used his thumb to release her bottom lip.

“I want you,” he said, his voice a harsh whisper.

Feeling her pulse quicken at his words, Reanna nodded her head. She already knew he did; she could feel his body’s reaction to their current position pressing heavily against her behind. “Then take me,” she whispered, feeling the pleasurable sensation of her nipples hardening against his chest. “Take me, Kyle. I’m yours.”

Now normally, this was the part where they’d stare into each other’s eyes for a time far longer than appropriate, then Kyle would pull away from her, reject her, and leave her wanting more of him …

But not tonight.

It was as if the two words
‘I’m yours’
were a key that unlocked a box overflowing with desire that engulfed the both of them, transporting them to a universe where nobody else existed but them two. One second, she was looking into his eyes, and the next, she was locked in a kiss more passionate than anything she’d ever felt in her entire life. The kiss shook the very foundation of her body, sending every bit of sanity she once possessed crashing to the floor, leaving her stranded, vulnerable in a state of reckless abandon, uncaring of any consequences that would result from what was about to happen between them.

In an instant, they were kissing each other, with a hunger that had been long deferred, as Kyle swiftly removed and tossed aside the silk nighty covering her body. Then in the next, Reanna was on her back, Kyle hovering over her as his mouth devoured hers. Tearing away her thin, silk panties, he threw them across the room.